

Savage Lovecast
Dan Savage
Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex and relationship questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Feb 4, 2020 • 49min
Savage Love Episode 693
A woman is hoping to find a monogamous partner who is also kinky. But when she puts the word "kinky" in her profile she gets flooded with ridiculous pervs. How can she filter out the clueless horndogs? Hear the very unpleasant tale of a gay couple who venture to an older man's apartment for a hook-up, only to find there were many more men there than promised. Why was this gentleman so dishonest? Aren't older men supposed to be supportive mentors for up and coming young 'mos? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with super-duper smart writer Peggy Orenstein, (author of Girls and Sex) about her new book- Boys and Sex. She and Dan discuss how boys both suffer from and then perpetuate the culture of toxic masculinity. If you have a kid with a penis, you should listen to this one. A man is ordained to marry people through one of those mail-in certificates. His sister has asked him to perform her marriage ceremony. But her fiancé is a lying, coke addled, no-good drunk! How can he bless this mess? 206-302-2064 or voicemail@savagelovecast.com The Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dame Products: a woman-founded sex toy company. Visit to check out Eva- the hands-freevibrator. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by . Get 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping when you enter the offer code "Savage".

Jan 28, 2020 • 53min
Savage Love Episode 692
Have you ever experienced conflict during a family vacation? The first call on this show might put it all in perspective for you. A protective big sister can't stand that her 17 year-old sis is dating a 21 year-old man. Their parents don't mind. Should big sister give the guy a chance, or is the age difference unacceptable? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Elizabeth Sheff from Psychology Today about raising children within a polyamorous household. And finally, a woman is considering becoming a fin-dom, with the power to financially ruin her client. But she doesn't want to ruin anyone. Is there a way to ethically do this? 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com The Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dame Products: a woman-founded sex toy company. Visit to check out Eva- the hands-free vibrator. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to . This episode is brought to you by . Get 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping when you enter the offer code "Savage".

Jan 21, 2020 • 50min
Savage Love Episode 691
Scootch closer, ya'll. It's Bible study with Dan Savage. On with the show: A happily single woman finally broke down after pressure from her friend to have some sex. Against her misgivings, he convinced her to pursue a relationship, promising that if it didn't work out, they could go back to being friends, easy-peasy. Guess what! Now that she wants to break it off, he can't deal with being just friends AND they are starting a business together. Please take heed to this cautionary tale. A pregnant woman can't stand the consistency of her husband's thick, slimy spit. If he drinks more water, will it change? Can she demand he do so? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with writer Michal Daveed about hypno-kink. You know, erotic hypnosis? She explains how god damn sexy it can be, and dispels some myths too. And, hear a most UNwholesome tale about what goes down under the mistletoe. Seriously, that whole mistletoe thing has always been a recipe for disaster, don't you think? 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at . This episode is brought to you by Calm, the #1 app for sleep and relaxation. For a limited time get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at .

Jan 14, 2020 • 51min
Savage Love Episode 690
Hand-wringing women, am I right? First we have a lady who feels guilty about masturbating at night when her partner is snoring next to her. And another woman feels guilty about "objectifying" her new cross-dressing boyfriend. Is it wrong to be attracted to him in his female garb? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with John Moe, from the Hilarious World of Depression podcast about being a depressed person, or dating one. And, if you dare, hear all about the disturbing things a woman found in her husband's workshop including greasy rubber gloves, feces-stained towels, empty wine bottles and underpants with holes cut out of them. Good lord, this call. 206-302-2064. Or email it to voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at . This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage. This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support the Lovecast, go to

Jan 7, 2020 • 52min
Savage Love Episode 689
Why, oh why (bemoans this woman,) is it that the indie, cool, female-owned sex stores never carry dildos that are big enough for her? WHY?! A gay man has been invited to be the man of honor at his sister's wedding. But you know what's weird? The sister is marrying a racist, anti-gay creep who has convinced her that the caller (and all gay people) are degenerates. So. Should our caller carry out his man of honor duties nonetheless? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with Michael Hobbes, co-host of the "You're Wrong About" podcast, about the misinformation swirling around the concept of human trafficking. And a 20 year-old woman is dating an older man. He wants to have kids one day. She is nowhere near considering such a thing. But when they have sex, she gets turned on by talking about getting knocked up. Is it unethical to engage in pregnancy dirty talk with a man who wants to be a dad? This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE. Thanks to Roman for supporting Savage Lovecast. Roman is a men’s health company that offers remote online diagnosis for ED and convenient monthly delivery of medication. For a free online, visit This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Dec 31, 2019 • 49min
Savage Love Episode 688
It's kind of the bad actors show. A biting biter bit her boyfriend and drew blood. He didn't like it, so she calls him a baby. A dude wonders if can catch a contact high from sleeping with someone who is on meth. A man is miffed because a couple who came to the wedding didn't sent them a gift. Dan sternly chastises them all. People! It's 2020! Behave yourselves! On the Magnum, Dan interviews journalist L.V. Anderson about the history of herpes hysteria. And, vampire porn: How popular is it? Let's have some stats. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to . ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at This episode is brought to you by Calm, the #1 app for sleep and relaxation. For a limited time get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at .

Dec 24, 2019 • 49min
Savage Lovecast #687
A formerly repressed man is discovering his wild side. He and his wife like to do it in quasi-public in the mountains. He just got her a remote controlled vibrator, and wants to see if he can get her off in a restaurant. But is this ethical? Will people notice? Dan interviews the co-author of a study that finds that women tend to trust gay male shopkeepers over women shopkeepers. They theorize that women find another woman selling beauty products and clothes can't be trusted because their reptile brains tell them they in competition for mates. So that's depressing... Merry Christmas! An 18 year-old woman has started seeing a 21 year-old guy who claimed he was celibate, but sure doesn't act like it. She thinks he's lying to himself and her. She just wants to bone him already. Should she put him out of his celibate misery? And finally, did ya'll know they sell octopus at Costco? This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by : a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Blue Apron. Check out this week’s menu and get $60 off at

Dec 17, 2019 • 52min
Savage Love Episode 686
The show begins with an insecurity vampire. You know the kind. A person who sucks you dry with their endless need for praise and reassurance. This man is dating one, but is she entirely to blame? It's complicated. And, it's a wedding battle royale! In one corner we have our caller getting married to a man who has a child by a previous marriage- living out of town. In the other corner is the fiancé's mother, who wants to minimize contact between the kid and the caller. Whose side are you on? Grab some popcorn and listen in. On the Magnum, Santa's rollin' up! What's he got this time? Well, if he listens to resident sex toy expert Erika Moen (and he does,) out tumbles a massive cache of marital aids, including a cock sleeve that spins! A bullet vibe! A dual density dildo! "Sex in a Can! " And a Sex Machine. Like an actual machine. Not Santa himself. Is it January yet? And finally, a lesbian is in a stable, joyful, poly relationship. But she is grappling with a new partner in the scene, who has a medical condition that causes her to burp and fart ALL THE TIME. It's driving the caller bonkers. She considers this a real torment. We consider it podcast gold. 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support the Lovecast, go to This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE. Thanks to for supporting Savage Lovecast. Native makes safe, simple, effective products that people use in the bathroom everyday with trusted ingredients and trusted performance. For 20% off your first purchase, visit nativedeodorant.com and enter promo code "Savage" during checkout.

Dec 10, 2019 • 53min
Savage Love Episode 685
Hot tubs. Are they a safe, relaxing haven or a menacing vector of disease? Here's a poly peril. What do you do when you really, really don't like your boyfriend's other boyfriend? On the Magnum, all of your chastity cage questions are answered, including "Chastity cages? What are you even talking about?" Dr. Ashley Winter is a urologist, sexual medicine specialist and the co-host of "The Full Release Podcast." She knows her stuff. And, when your wife wants to go to the Amazon to hunt for psychedelic drugs with a former lover, how do you deal with all the...feelings? 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage. ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at . This episode is sponsored by Honey- the free browser extension that scans the web for coupon codes and discounts while you shop online. Get Honey for FREE and save some money.

Dec 3, 2019 • 55min
Savage Love Episode 684
A man went on a date and he felt fireworks. But later that she told him that wasn't feeling it, but wants to be friends. He doesn't need friends. He already has friends. Should he bother? This question is pretty simple. Her new lover has a gargantuan penis that is shaped like a sweet potato. How on earth is she supposed to accommodate him? On the Magnum version of the show, meet the woman who read every single one of Dan's newspaper columns since he started writing them in 1991. You could say she is a sex expert expert. She has some wisdom to share. And, a kinkster living in a repressed Asian country has a masochistic friend who asked him to arrange a very dangerous scene for her. How can he set this up and also keep her safe? OH, the Danger! 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com Thanks to Roman for supporting Savage Lovecast. Roman is a men’s health company that offers remote online diagnosis for ED and convenient monthly delivery of medication. For a free online, visit This episode is brought to you by Pill Club: the birth control subscription that is delivered right to your door. Get a special care package with your first delivery. Go to . Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to .


