Coming Out Late

Robin shares the story of her first queer wedding—she was the queer at the wedding. Her story also describes the awkwardness she faced of being the only gay couple at the wedding and how her girlfriend came to her rescue and made her feel comfortable, as well as some of the issues they faced during the event.In this episode, you will learn…We can survive and thrive doing difficult and scary things.Her relationship with her daughters after she came out about her sexualityLearning to let go of others’ opinions and thoughts—they don’t know your side of the story.The messy middle of coming out to yourselfThe reality is never as bad as all that is going on in our brains.Things like anxiety will come up—just focus on how you want to feel through that event.People will have different opinions about you because you’re gay—smile and hold your head high—you’ve not done anything wrong.Don’t conform to what other people think or want for you—you know what you want—just be brave enough to go out there and get it.Move forward in your life and do the things that make you happy.Links to resources:By taking bloomers society off Facebook and moving to a private platform, we've created a robust and interactive community filled with stories, interviews, and resources, all at your fingertips right when you join. https://bloomerssociety.comYou can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian. And for an invitation to her private Women Loving Women support groups on Zoom, email Robin at: comingoutlater@gmail.comLooking for your coming-out-late community? Request to be a member of the Coming Out Late Community Facebook Group, a private and secure group of late blooming lesbians, at: www.facebook.com/ComingOutLateCommunity (Please fill out all the registration questions.)Coming out later in life has its fair share of stress and challenges. Be sure to take good care of your mental health during this trying time. Contact Pride Counseling and book an appointment at: www.pridecounseling.com/comingoutlater.

Robin talks to Anne-Marie Zanza and her wife, Tonda McKay, about the impact of religion on people coming late out as gay and their journey of accepting and embracing their sexuality.In this episode, you will learn…Anne and Tonda’s backstoryHow isolation impacts your dating lifeThe journey of accepting and embracing their sexualityUnpacking the patriarchy and understanding why certain things are just wrongJesus’ teachings are far from what the church doesBridging the divide between the binary of male and femaleExistence of same-sex relationships in the eighties.Different schools of thought on acknowledging sexualityThe reaction of family and friends when they came outSame-sex relationships and the constraints of religious institutionsFinding a community that suits you as a member of the LGBTQ familyComing out as gay and redefining who you areDeconstructing how you were taught your faithLinks to resources:Looking for your coming-out-late community? Request to be a member of the Coming Out Late Community Facebook Group, a private and secure group of late blooming lesbians, at: www.facebook.com/ComingOutLateCommunity. (Please fill out ALL the registration questions.)You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian. And for an invitation to her private Women Loving Women support groups on Zoom, email Robin at: comingoutlater@gmail.com.Coming Out Coach, Anne-Marie Zanzal can be found at: www.annemariezanzal.com. Her podcast, "Coming Out and Beyond" tells the story of the later in life community and can be heard wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. And Anne-Marie's memoir, "Authentic Peace", speaks to anyone who is in a transitional stage in life and who are called to reinvent themselves. Her wife, Tonda McKay is an award-winning, professional, architectural photographer. Tonda's work and contact information can be found by visiting: www.tondamckay.com.

Robin talks to Cathy about helping women so that their lives can be changed and creating the cycle of wealth and success among women around the world. It's an inspiring conversation, so here's some inspiration from her!In this episode, you will learn…Cathy’s journey of becoming a financial plannerKnowing about your likes and dislikesMaking big changes in your life by leaving a toxic situationCreating a community that allows women to find their voices and strengthsMidlife awakening helps you to live a better lifeYou can’t move forward unless you’re honest with yourselfThe pros and cons of COVIDListening to your gut to follow your intuitionWomen have put themselves on the back burner for so long that they have almost forgotten what they want to doThe impact we can have by helping othersLinks to resources:Looking for your coming-out-late community? Request to be a member of the Coming Out Late Community Facebook Group, a private and secure group of late blooming lesbians, at: www.facebook.com/ComingOutLateCommunity. (Please fill out ALL the registration questions.)You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian. And for an invitation to her private Women Loving Women support groups on Zoom, email Robin at: comingoutlater@gmail.com.Cathy Derksen is a wealth & success coach as well as a 5-time Amazon best-selling author and International Speaker. You can find more information about Cathy and the programs and services she offers by visiting her website at: www.inspiredtenacity.com

Today, Robin is sharing some of the topics that she and her support group - Women Loving Women - chat about weekly. The conversations are incredible, so she’s bringing some of that magic here to you! In this episode, you will learn…Some suggested dating sites that have worked well for the women in the support group.How tough it can be to use dating sites and apps.Some exciting new social mixers that are in the works!Thoughts on newly living together with your new girlfriend.What it’s like to have a skeptical partner who is worried about dating a late bloomer.The power of staying in the moment.Dating or living with someone who does not have children when you do.Advice for when you’re trying to blend two families.How true it is that once you start coming out to people, you might start feeling like a sixteen-year old boy! Links to resources:Looking for your coming-out-late community? Request to be a member of the Coming Out Late Community Facebook Group, a private and secure group of late blooming lesbians, at: www.facebook.com/ComingOutLateCommunity. (Please fill out ALL the registration questions.)You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian. And for an invitation to her private Women Loving Women support groups on Zoom, email Robin at: comingoutlater@gmail.com.Julia Hoffman, Founder of Bloomers Society, has created a robust and interactive private community of late bloomers, filled with stories, interviews, and resources, all at your fingertips right when you join. https://bloomerssociety.comLesbian Chronicles is a podcast for people who’ve realized their true sexual identity later in life. Find Lesbian Chronicles at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life/id1468550568?i=1000541058765

Robin shares details about her online support group “Women Loving Women”. She also dives into the powerful responses she received after posing the question “What do you wish you knew then that you’ve known now on your journey” to the women of the group.In this episode, you will learn…People don’t own each other—no one could or should tell you how to live your life.Women are selfless but are often made to feel selfish.You can take care of yourself—you can do hard things.Fear of the unknown is the common thread that holds so many back in life.Finding the inner strength to say “Yes, I’m gay” and learning to trust yourself.There’s nothing better than living your truth.Coming out is not horrible and difficult for everyone.Feel the freedom of coming out to yourself—You don't really need to know 100% with certainty that you for sure are gay and you're coming out as gay. Just give yourself permission to explore those thoughts.Live your life and find your truth. Links to resources:By taking bloomers society off facebook and moving to a private platform, we've created a robust and interactive community filled with stories, interviews, and resources, all at your fingertips right when you join. https://bloomerssociety.comYou can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian And for an invitation to her private Women Loving Women support groups on Zoom, email Robin at: comingoutlater@gmail.comLooking for your coming-out-late community? Request to be a member of the Coming Out Late Community Facebook Group, a private and secure group of late blooming lesbians, at: www.facebook.com/ComingOutLateCommunity (Please fill out all the registration questions.)Coming out later in life has its fair share of stress and challenges. Be sure to take good care of your mental health during this trying time. Contact Pride Counseling and book an appointment at: www.pridecounseling.com/comingoutlater.

Robin and Kari take a stroll down memory lane, sharing and retelling their stories of coming out later in life, as well as exploring the ‘opportunities’ that come with this journey. They discuss the ‘snow globe’ theory, facing our fears, naming and labeling ourselves, and learning from our break-ups, to name a few. In this episode, you will learn…Kari’s coming out story. “Three years ago I came out to me, and me only!”You are not alone. You are not the only one!Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Get excited about the new opportunities.The importance of support. Who am I? I just don’t know who I am!Should I immediately jump into a relationship? Or should I wait, remain single, and ‘work on me’ first?Feeling the feels. Feel all your feelings. Sit with them, and acknowledge them.To label or not to label? It doesn’t matter because it’s up to you. There are no rules to what we call ourselves - if anything at all. Saying ‘those words’ out loud. Links to resources:You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian And for an invitation to her private Women Loving Women support groups on Zoom, email Robin at: comingoutlater@gmail.comLooking for your coming-out-late community? Request to be a member of the Coming Out Late Community Facebook Group, a private and secure group of late blooming lesbians, at: www.facebook.com/ComingOutLateCommunity (Please fill out all the registration questions.)You can find Kari DeWitt on nearly all the social media platforms like Instagram and Tik Tok, (@KariDeWitt), as well as on her hugely popular private Facebook Group, Late Bloomer Lesbians: www.facebook.com/latebloomerlesbians. Kari’s website is: www.karingtransformation.comComing out later in life has its fair share of stress and challenges. Be sure to take good care of your mental health during this trying time. Contact Pride Counseling and book an appointment at: www.pridecounseling.com/comingoutlater.

“Coming-Out-Late Grief: It’s Real”‘Life' is full of uncertainty, discomfort and pain, as well as joy, peace and freedom. It is when we master the art of being comfortable with discomfort and uncertainty, that we have mastered the art of living life - not just surviving it.Why should our coming out late journey be any different? It is in the discomfort, the uncertainty and the grief in which our growth can occur and our souls may soar. Grief is not only an expected part of ‘life’, but it will also be an expected and painful part of our coming out late process! This journey you are on is not easy - - but it is well worth it all, in the end. And the good news is - - everyone will survive the grieving process and your coming out late journey - - it just takes time - - a lot of time and patience!In this episode, you will learn…That your grief, sadness and pain is very real, and to be expected. That mourning and grieving during your coming-out journey is ‘normal’, and doesn’t just happen once, but does lessen over time. Give yourself plenty of love, grace and space to simply ‘be’.That you are going through a metamorphosis of sorts; you will be shedding old ‘skin’ and rebirthing a new identity. With those significant changes come intense feelings; heavy, deeply-felt feelings. Feel them all. Feeling them all gives them credence and in doing so allows them to ‘pass through you’ more freely and quickly.Why it’s critical that you cry - and cry often! Let your tears flow, and flow freely and flow often. Crying is not a weakness - it is a necessary and natural process in the release of toxins and emotions that simply must come out - just like you must come out.  Links to resources:You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.LesbianEmail Robin at: comingoutlater@gmail.comLooking for your coming-out late community? Request to be a member of the Coming Out Late Community Facebook Group, a private and secure group of late blooming lesbians, at: www.facebook/ComingOutLateCommunity (You must fill out all the registration questions.)Coming out later in life has its fair share of stress and challenges. Be sure to take good care of your mental health during this trying time. Contact Pride Counseling and book an appointment at: www.pridecounseling.com/comingoutlater.

“You Are Not Alone: Q’s Read from FB”Your journey is just that - YOUR journey - no one else’s!IF you choose to ‘come out’, (and how and when), it is 1000% completely YOUR decision! Whether you’ve always known you are gay, or just now figuring out that you may be bi-sexual, pansexual, demisexual, lesbian, or embrace no label at all, that is your business. If you are questioning your sexuality, it is only your business to explore and figure out. And there’s no rush in figuring this out either - this is not a race, in fact, it is definitely not even a sprint - our exploration and self-reflection is more of a marathon. Take it slowly and deliberately. Take your time, and reach out to other like-minded women in the Facebook group, Coming Out Late Community.In this episode, you will learn about…How hearing other women’s ‘coming out later in life’ stories can provide such relief, and realize that you are not alone - that there are so many women like ‘us’!The many, many different forms of how a family can look after coming out - and that it’s you and your husband/stbxh/partners’joint decision to choose the ‘look’ and logistics that work best for your situation!And know that nothing is set in stone - if it’s not working out, make modifications and try something different.How keeping the lines of communication wide-open, and ongoing, between you and your (male) partner is vital during this new journey that you (both) are going through.How other women feel and deal with their own awakening and coming-out process when Robin reads and comments on several FB posts and questions from some of the different ‘coming out late’ Facebook groups. Again, you won’t feel alone after hearing the stories, comments and “Aha!” moments from other women!  Links to resources:You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.LesbianLooking for your coming-out late community? Request to be a member of the Coming Out Late Community Facebook Group, a private and secure group of late blooming lesbians, at: www.facebook/ComingOutLateCommunity (You must fill out all the registration questions.)Coming out later in life has its fair share of stress and challenges. Be sure to take good care of your mental health during this trying time. Contact Pride Counseling and book an appointment at: www.pridecounseling.com/comingoutlater.

 Some of us went a lifetime having ‘no clue’ we were attracted to women until much later in life. Others, on the other hand, always knew they ‘liked girls’, but stuffed it down, way down. Internal homophobia, deep-seeded homophobic denial, and compulsory-heteronormativity all played a huge role in delaying, and denying, our journey to discovering and embracing our true selves. One thing we late-bloomers know for sure is, if we were straight, we sure as heck wouldn’t be asking ourselves if we weren’t! But don’t take our word for it, keep listening to the Coming Out Late Podcast and hear the similarities in our stories.In this episode, you will learn about…How Robin figured out she’s gay, (using her unique ‘research technique’) How many of us get to the point of: “Ok. Enough is enough already. I have to figure this out! Why am I feeling this way toward women? ”“So this IS a ‘thing’. It isn’t just me.” Robin’s theory on her own deep homophobic denial A few podcasts and books specifically for women questioning their sexualityLinks to resources:The podcast that inspired me to become a Life Strategist for the late-blooming Community is The Lesbian Chronicles Podcast at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life/id1468550568Another awesome, private and safe Facebook group to check out is, Late Bloomer Lesbians at: www.facebook.com/latebloomerlesbiansA few books I first read when I was questioning my sexuality were: Fleisher, Joanne, Living Two Lives: Married to a Man & In Love with a Woman, and Waters, Dawn Elizabeth, Switching Teams: What Coming Out Later in Life Taught Me About Love, Conquering Fear, and Accepting Change, and McCoy, Robin, Late Bloomers: Awakening to Lesbianism After Forty.Take care of your mental health and book an appointment now with Pride Counseling at: www.pridecounseling.com/comingoutlater.Looking for your coming-out late community? Ask to join Robin’s private Facebook group at: www.facebook/ComingOutLateCommunity (You must fill out all the registration questions.) Once approved, you’ll find flyers announcing the ever-popular Women Loving Women zoom room.

How does one “follow the bread crumbs” to discover and/or confirm if they are gay or not? Great question! Married to a man for nearly 30-years, Robin had her “Aha!” moment literally on her 54th birthday. (No. That’s not a typo. She came out to herself at 54-years of age!) Robin takes you on her journey from those first vague and sporadic inner stirrings she felt about women to finally figuring out “what was wrong with her”. Robin shares with us how she cracked-her-case that had been plaguing her and brewing within her for decades - yet seemingly laid dormant throughout her lifetime. In this episode, you will learn about…What you can expect from this and future episodes of the Coming Out Late Podcast Robins’ coming-out story and how she eventually came out to herselfThe events and clues that led-up to Robins’ “Aha!” moment Compulsory-heteronormativity and internalized homophobiaHow did Robin figure out she’s gay? (Cliffhanger Clue: My Secret Research Project, explained in Episode #2 of the Coming Out Late Podcast.)      Links to resources:You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.LesbianLooking for your coming-out late community? Request to be a member of the Coming Out Late Community Facebook Group, a private and secure group of late blooming lesbians, at: www.facebook/ComingOutLateCommunity (You must fill out all the registration questions.)Coming out later in life has its fair share of stress and challenges. Be sure to be taking care of your mental health during this trying time. Contact Pride Counseling at: Take care of your mental health and book an appointment now with Pride Counseling now at: www.pridecounseling.com/comingoutlater.