The Big Leap

Can you believe it’s 2021 already?! (Although I gotta say… good riddance, right! I’m glad to see it go and start fresh)If you haven’t listened to The Big Leap Podcast, this is your opportunity to get caught up because today we are REWINDING our most popular episode “Everything You Need to Have a Big Leap Year.”Let’s start the New Year off right. NEW YEAR, NEW YOU!!What if you were able to overcome your barriers to happiness and fulfillment?What if you had a clear path for achieving your true potential and attaining not only financial success but also success in love and life?What if this was YOUR YEAR to take the big leap, make ALL the changes and make them STICK for good this time??!This week on The Big Leap, Gay and Mike are going to give you EVERYthing you need to have a Big Leap Year!We’ll cover a 5 step process that Gay and Mike developed to help you have that “Big Leap Year” including one of a concept called “The Mary Kay Formula,” PLUS… ways to increase your longevity.There are a lot of examples in this episode that are all grounded on their own personal experiences and working with people so everything we’ll share has been kitchen tested, bedroom tested and boardroom tested in every possible situation you can think of.Gay spends about 30 hours a month doing interviews with various podcasts and radio programs talking about the concepts in the big leap. From those conversations, a lot of people have asked him, “how do I get started if I wanted to turn this next year into my big leap year, how would I go about doing that?”And as he’s worked with many people over the years, he’s come to see that there is no substitute for willingness and commitment. Anytime you entertain any kind of change the first thing that happens is a sense of willingness and that gets you in the door of whatever needs to happen but it’s commitment that makes things work.Unless a person can put themselves on the line and say, “this is what I’m willing to do, this is what I committed to doing,” there’s very little magic that’s going to happen.Therefore, if you’re going to create a big leap year for yourself, you have to begin by cultivating a really good sense of willingness and commitment IN YOUR BODY.Ask yourself, is this something you really want to do? Do you actually want to transform your life? Do you actually want to live in the genius zone? The goal is to get a whole-body yes. That’s how you know you’re committed.There’s so much more to uncover in this episode like the genius behind The Mary Kay Formula, how Mike taught himself programming at age 14, was writing software for vehicles and meeting with GM executives by age 18 and how being open and “coachable” is SUPER important to bringing your Big Leap into being.

Mike's friend Brian Tracy once said, “Your life is changed by the books you read and the people you meet.” What do you think about that?  The movies you choose and the books you've read, also say a lot about WHO YOU ARE.  And listening to other people talk about the books that have moved them, can give you a whole new window to yourself AND a new opportunity to learn how they think.  So what are the movies and books that have completely changed YOUR life?  Gay and Mike share the big books and movies that changed their lives. Gay admits that he frequently asks people, “what's the best book you've ever read?” and that question has led him to amazing recommendations and some of the best books he’s ever read.  Sometimes asking the simplest of questions can be life-changing and result in some of your Biggest Leaps. With 4 years of experience as a therapist Gay is a master at asking breakthrough questions. It’s one of the many reasons we love listening to him.  Mike believes that life imitates art, (movies and books in particular,) especially in the modern, pop-culture world where things happen so quickly and people emulate what they see.  Remember the 80s, when Madonna’s music and popularity completely drove fashion of the era? The same thing happened with heavy metal and grunge. These musicians were crafting a narrative and amplifying their superpowers.  There are SO many ways to craft messages that entertain, educate, and allow you to connect with people and they're right there in front of you all the time. But how do you tune your brain to think through the lens of being a storyteller because THAT is how your ability to influence and persuade will be amplified dramatically.  So what are some of the books and movies that had huge impacts on their lives?  For Gay the first one is called “The Lazy Man's Guide to Enlightenment,” a little, gray book next to the cash register that caught his eye while checking out of a bookstore in Palo Alto, CA around 1970. It cost about 95 cents.  This book changed his reality. It's only about 80 pages long, but it's 80 pages of some of the richest, most amazing life-changing ideas he had ever come across. It’s the first place where he ever formally saw someone talking about the transformative power of love. The whole premise of the book is to save yourself a lot of trouble and just love as much as you can from wherever you are, don't make it any more complicated than that.  That became a touchstone for Gay because as he worked with more and more people, he came to see that a lot of what gets people stuck is that there something in them that they haven't learned to love yet. That's what inspired him to write his book “Learning to Love Yourself,” years ago. To this day, he sees that love is often the only dimension that needs to change. If you can love something more or get more love around a particular issue that you have, that's the single, most powerful, efficient, life-changing thing you can do.  Mike's story also starts many years ago when he was in a very dark place. He was going through a very painful divorce and his business was $250,000 in debt. Nothing was working right. He was living in an illusion and he felt as though he had to maintain the illusion to maintain trust with his employees to save the business.  Along came a good friend who introduced him to Tony Robbins. He ended up doing some Tony Robbins events and reading ALL of his books and getting really immersed in his material. Tony interviewed Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer which sent Mike on a path to get a book called “Manifest your Destiny,” by Wayne Dyer. He listened to the series at least four times and the big takeaway from the book that still to this day resonates deeply is the question “who do you need to become in order to receive all that you desire?”It comes down to taking responsibility, and everything you've ever desired already belongs to you and you belong to it. The only thing separating you from it is time. The exercise in the book has to do with becoming attractive to that which you desire. It's not about getting things. It's not about having things. It's not about buying things. It's not about manipulating.That concept changed Mike's life dramatically.Fast forward a couple of years later, Mike had the opportunity to travel to Egypt and the Great Pyramids with Wayne Dyer, and Deepak Chopra. By then, he had immersed myself in so much of the material. That specific trip changed the course of his entire life, so much so that because of it, he wound up meeting his wife, Arielle Ford, (godmother to my son, Zak) and that trip is actually responsible for Gay and Mike meeting as well!To hear Gay share a REALLY cool story about meeting the “king” of Togo, Africa in an elevator in Cairo, Egypt, listen now! Talk about a great real-life event that would make an awesome movie that ANYone would want to watch! You’ll also learn about more books and movies that inspired both of them to take Big Leaps and can help you do the same.

Mike Koenigs hates “How Pies” (if you’re from Minnesota like him, you’ll get this joke right away). If you grew up in the country like him, cow pies aren’t fun to step in. Especially the warm ones.  “How Pies” are the stinky things you step in every time you ask yourself “how do I do this” and when you get frustrated and procrastinate, you do nothing at all.  What if you could solve ANY problem you’ve ever had by asking a NEW question? Not “How do I do this?” But “Who can do this FOR me?”  And if your first response is, “yeah, but I can’t afford to pay anyone to do it for me…” Instead, ask yourself the ULTIMATE question - “what if I could create a collaboration with the right WHO to do this for me where both parties win?”  If you find yourself procrastinating because you get stuck in “How Pies”, you’re in for a real treat.  Today’s guest on The Big Leap is Dr. Ben Hardy and he's the author of the new book, “Who Not How,” which sold over 100,000 copies (125,000 as of two days ago) in the first month and is a bestseller on the Wall Street Journal list. Today you’ll hear a fascinating story that ties “Who, Not How” and writing a bestselling book with a collaborator into two places, plus Gay says ONE WORD that completely changed the way Mike thinks about copywriting and creating content and books. And - if writing a “best selling book” is on your bucket list…you’ll love what Ben has to share. Today you’ll hear a fascinating story that ties “Who, Not How” and writing a bestselling book with a collaborator into two places, plus Gay says ONE WORD that completely changed the way Mike thinks about copywriting and creating content and books. As Western thinkers, we're very individualistic. We go through the public education system and are trained to think the same way. We're trained to focus on what “I” can do. We have to develop every single skill ourselves and are tested and graded against our peers in a competitive environment. We don't work with our peers on a test and then together, create a better result… Instead, we're all tested on the same thing. We compete against each other to see who gets the best grades, and the people with the best grades move on. We're trained to think in terms of how “how do I accomplish this goal? What do I do?” Me, me, me, me me! Two of Dr. Ben’s mentors, Dan Sullivan and Dean Jackson spent a lot of time thinking about procrastination and that ultimately led them to think about when you start imagining a bigger future; if you stopped asking how but started asking who can help me do this, or who can do this for me, then all of a sudden, it frees you from the burden of having to do it yourself and leads you to develop a much bigger vision. Most people’s imagination is capped by how much they can do themselves. If you're not teaming up with anyone then you can't accomplish as much. In the case of Dan Sullivan, (co-author of “Who, Not How”) he didn't have to spend any of his time writing the book because he had Dr. Ben do it. He had a “who,” who was already an expert on book writing, so his vision for his future got a lot bigger. Rather than asking, “how can I get this book out there, he just found a “who” to do it for him.” One massive breakthrough that Dr. Ben had while writing this book as the “who,” is that Dan Sullivan fully allowed him to just be the who! Meaning he let him BE the writer without any outside forces or influences. It was Ben’s book. Dan established the rules for the content and let Ben do his thing. It’s Dr. Ben’s AND Mike's opinion that a lot of leaders have problems because they micromanage their “whos.” They’re obsessed over making the who do the how their own way, rather than letting the who do it their own way.Dr. Ben had a lot of freedom writing this book but it took him a long time to actually realize he had that freedom. For a while, he was trying to write the book that he thought Dan wanted him to write but at some point he realized… I’M the who and I need to write this book. No one else knows how to do it. He finally took ownership of that in his head, which allowed him to write the book he wanted to write.THAT was a really profound moment for Dr. Ben and it allowed him (when he hires people) to let them take full ownership of what their job is, rather than him telling them how to do it.Here’s something else super important: Ben gets all the money from the book. Dan only cares that the book drives business to Strategic Coach in terms of adding members. His singular focus makes this easy. The books pay for themselves. That’s another one of Dan’s big ideas, a “Free Zone” which we’ll cover in another episode!Here are a few other major take-aways and breakthroughs from Ben’s journey in writing this book:Mentors: You need to learn from someone who’s already been where you want to go. Someone you admire and trust. For Dr. Ben, it started with his Grandfather Rex who was “the moral structure of his life and always pointing him in a positive direction.” He’s had many others including his church mission presidents, college professors, Ryan Holiday, (who has written multiple best-selling books), and mentored him while helping him get his book agent and first book deal, Dan Sullivan, Joe Polish, and more recently Tucker Max, as a writer and a thinker.Collaboration: The basic premise behind “Who Not How.” Collaborating with the right “whos.” In the case of this book, Dr. Ben worked with a few “whos,” including Tucker Max who he met at a Genius Networking event to negotiate a 10 book contract with Hay House and edited the book.Living in the FLOW: Being more fully absorbed in what you’re doing. When you're in a flow state, you're operating at peak performance, not inhibited by 1000 different things and dealing with decision fatigue. (the idea that the more decisions you have to make in a given amount of time, the more stressed your willpower will be, and the more you'll make poor decisions.)Delegating: Offloading your decision fatigue to let other people make some decisions for you. There are only a certain amount of ‘big picture’ decisions that you should be making. For example, during Dr. Ben’s last book launch, he did 250 podcasts to promote it but he hired someone to book and schedule all of his appearances so all he had to do was show up and talk about the book.To hear about Ben’s one HUGE, mind-blowing idea (based on an old idea called, “1,000 True Fans”) that was responsible for GETTING OTHER PEOPLE to sell about 75,000 copies of his new book in two weeks, PLUS… the ONE WORD that Gay said that completely changed the way I think about writing and creating content, listen now!

What kind of donkeys are you smuggling?  Confused?? Mike was too when Gay asked him the same question. To explain…  Back in the middle ages, there was a donkey caravan that would come to the same border crossing every week. The border inspector would go through the caravan each time looking for contraband but he could never find anything. Week after week, for 30 years, the same man with the same donkey caravan and the inspector could never find anything. When it came time for the inspector to retire he finally asked the man, “you’ve got to tell me what you’ve been smuggling all these years!” The man replied… DONKEYS.  The moral of the story… the man was smuggling something in a way that nobody ever thought of because it was so intrinsic to the story that was being told. No one ever suspected that it was the donkeys themselves that were being smuggled!  Today on The Big Leap, Gay and Mike are going to talk about how to turn your life into a movie that someone else would really want to watch, especially YOU.  They talk about sharing your Big Leap message within movies, TV, novels, and more because both Gay and Mike have done just that. Gay has written many books, including a novel, (some of which are slated to be on TV or in movies) and Mike has done a feature film and written 13 books.  They’ll also talk about not only thinking about your life through a completely different lens and growing your message and what it is you're doing in the world.  The takeaway from the donkey story is that everyone that is creative and wants to market to the world is smuggling donkeys in one way or the other.  For Gay, the reason he started writing mystery novels 10 years ago was to work in relationship themes that he wanted the world to know about. Maybe it was something about self-esteem, or the Big Leap or the Upper Limit Problem. He is “smuggling donkeys” by writing stories, and making movies around things that have big ideas he wants to “smuggle” to people who might not ever read a self-help book or pick up a copy of an Eckhart Tolle book.  For Mike, he is in the business of inventing “donkey smuggling” strategies for people to elevate and amplify their message. He teaches people how to tell transformational stories that allow them to get their message out, get more attention, and package their products and services so that they're seen as the premier authority in their area of expertise.  What he's actually doing is teaching people how to value themselves, how to release their attachment to old traumas and identity challenges that prevent them from being worth more, and accepting and receiving more. That's the deep psychology of it.  It doesn't matter if you're a billionaire… you've got self-worth issues. Chances are you're not telling effective stories that connect with an audience. You're probably talking about yourself too much. That’s been a thematic message that Mike helps people hack in order to get more attention and be seen as is a transformer.  To hear more about how you can “smuggle donkeys,’ and turn your life into a movie that EVERYone wants to watch, listen now!  If you prefer video, click here to watch the episode on YouTube!

Do you ever wonder… what’s the point? Why am I here? What am I really meant to do? What’s my PURPOSE?! Maybe you’ve been there, done that, know it’s time to reinvent yourself but you don’t know how to start, where to begin or feel as though it’s too late or too hard...  What would you give to be able to FINALLY figure out what your life purpose is OR your “next purpose”? You are not alone. Many, MANY of us have struggled with the very same questions and it can be SUPER frustrating, anxiety-filled and frankly, pretty depressing. Don’t worry… Gay and I are here to help guide you through the process and figure it out. Today on The Big Leap podcast, Gay Hendricks is going to tell you about the moment he finally figured out what his life purpose was and how it’s affected every moment of his life since. Needless to say, it was a major turning point. Mike is going to share some of his big leaps and some of the reinventions that he's gone through throughout his life because for him, he hasn't had just one big leap... he's had a bunch. Their goal is to give you the tools, resources, and guidance to get you to where you want to be, so let’s dive in! The moment Gay figured out his life purpose happened at a time where from the outside, it looked like he had it made. He had jumped to a “new level” in life, (but as he points out in The Big Leap book,) oftentimes when you have a big upsurge of love, money, or fame, it trips old mechanisms inside that bring up fears and then you shut yourself back down.  Since Gay was 15 years old, he wanted to be a university professor but didn't know exactly what he wanted to teach. When he was 22 he was bitten by the psychology bug, got his master's degree in counseling, then his Ph.D. from Stanford, and landed his first job as a university professor at the University of Colorado. He had made his dream come true.  And yet, a week before he was supposed to start his new job, (he had already moved to Colorado, rented a cabin in the woods, and was having a great time communing with nature.) he had a panic attack when he realized, “Oh my God, I know all the textbook stuff but I don't know anything in my heart about what it takes to have human beings transform their lives.”  In graduate school, he learned dozens of different marriage counseling techniques, and dozens of different anxiety treating techniques but he never had a real person sitting with him where he did his own, natural work and had them change. That’s when he knew there was something missing.  Then he had a once in a lifetime experience. Standing out in the woods, he said out loud to the universe and himself, “what is the essence of human transformation?” What is it that we do that darkens ourselves rather than enlightens ourselves? He stood there for a while and felt the question rather than trying to work it out in his mind… then the magic happened.  He got this amazingly powerful roar of energy through his entire body and mind that seemed to come from the ground up. It was like a freight train of white light and it felt good. Like a rolling wave of energy that passed through him and after it did, he realized that it had answered his question.  The information it left behind was this; the thing we do wrong as human beings that keeps us stuck, is we resist what's going on inside ourselves and the feedback that's coming in from the outside. We take a stance of resistance towards the world and out of that stance, our experience gets rougher. Life starts to treat us more harshly, simply because we closed down that part of ourselves. We’re not open to learning. It's this defensive posture that keeps us stuck.He realized that the only way to transform is to let ourselves be exactly where we are and love ourselves for being there. Instead of judging or shaming ourselves, we simply need to feel where we are, and then love ourselves for being there.So that’s what Gay did. He simply wandered around the woods for a while loving all the parts of himself that he’d never been able to love before until that moment.He ended up in a beautiful state of being, both open to himself and the world around him. It was this magical moment of being completely free of his programming and having no expectations of the future that left behind a meta-tool for transformation in him.That’s when he started to work with people, encouraging them to feel their way into where they were rather than trying to talk them out of it. To feel and understand why they might be depressed or why their anxiety is a natural thing to have. It's the act of opening up, accepting ourselves, and loving ourselves as we are that opens up the space to move into something new.That was the moment that changed everything for Gay. It led to a more precise definition of his life purpose.Listen to hear about the many Big Leaps and reinventions throughout Mike's life that lead Mike to discover who he  is, what he was great at, where his value is, and most importantly… HIS LIFE PURPOSE.

Have you ever looked at a super successful entrepreneur and thought, “man, they’re so brave and fearless to be doing what they’re doing. They must have so much support!”  MOST successful people will tell you that it’s not rainbows, unicorns and kittens. There are plenty of bumps, bruises, self-doubt, fear, haters, and mistakes along the way.  But if you want to succeed you have to push past all of that and become UNDAUNTED.  Gay Hendricks and Mike Koenigs are excited to share a very special guest with you today on The Big Leap podcast. Her name is Kara Goldin, she’s the CEO and found of HINT water, and just released her first book, Undaunted on October 20th. (Gay and Mike have both read it and you’re going to want to pick up a copy, asap...hint hint.)  HINT is the largest, non-alcoholic beverage in the country that doesn't have a relationship with Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, or Snapple.   Where did the title, “Undaunted,” come from? Kara looked in the rearview mirror at what she had been through in building her company and realized that a lot of people would say, “you're fearless, you don't have any doubts or doubters.” That's when she knew she needed to write this book and share her stories because her journey absolutely had doubts, (from both herself and others) failures, and fears. But Kara says, “we need to learn about those in order to really get out of the gate and break down the walls in our own lives.”  As Gay and Mike always do here on the Big Leap, they asked Kara what some of her biggest leaps were that got her to this point in her life and career.  Her first Big Leap was when she hopped on a plane, (uninvited) to try and get a job at Fortune Magazine. She marched into the HR office and shared a letter she received from the editor, (a Dear John letter saying, “if you're ever in the New York area, let us know”) that she took very literally.  She didn’t get the job at Fortune Magazine but it led to her landing a job at Time Magazine, which never would have happened if she hadn’t taken that first Big Leap.  Another major, Big Leap was, of course, starting the HINT water company. She had no beverage experience and had never been an entrepreneur before. BUT… she was a consumer of the product that she wanted to be on the market and just decided to go for it. “I think sometimes Big Leaps are not allowing yourself to focus too much on how big of a leap it is or else you won't do it.”  After her amazing corporate career, Kara was starting her family and wanted to focus more on health. She had gained weight, developed terrible adult acne, and her energy levels were very low. She was drinking a TON of diet soda so she decided to give up her addiction and start drinking plain water. She quickly knew she wouldn’t be able to stick to plain water because it was so boring. That's when she came up with the idea for HINT.  As mentioned above, HINT is the largest, non-alcoholic beverage in the country that doesn't have a relationship with Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, or Snapple. They’ve done things very uniquely in building the company, including the fact that 55% of the business is direct to consumer.  In the end, all of her previous Big Leaps ended up coming together. Kara always says, “the dots always eventually connect.” Sometimes you don't know how they're going to but they always do in the end.  To hear the rest of Kara’s story and more about her new book, “Undaunted,” tune in here! If you prefer video, click 

Are you under the impression that you have to be “perfect” to be a successful entrepreneur?  Are you stuck in Analysis Paralysis, Perfectionism or maybe even Imposter Syndrome?  Our next guest is here to tell you that’s just NOT true.  Start now. Start messy. Make mistakes. Learn from them, but just START.  Today on The Big Leap podcast, Gay Hendricks and Mike Koenigs have a special guest for you. His name is Neil Patel and they’re really excited for you to meet him. They’ve respected Neil for a very long time. He’s a BRILLIANT marketer, entrepreneur and SEO expert who’s built an amazing personal brand for himself.  But today they're going to be doing something a little different. They're not just talking about marketing stuff… they're also talking about the Big Leaps that got Neil to where he is today. Keep reading to hear about his path to success.  Neil freely admits that he made a ton of mistakes in the beginning, but because of this he’s learned what NOT to do then eventually… what TO DO. “When you start off your career as entrepreneurs, the early years is where you typically make the majority of mistakes but when you do something long enough, you get decent at it.”  One of the main premises of the Big Leap podcast is asking guests what their Big Leaps were that got them to where they are today, so of course they asked Neil that very question;  Neil decided that he wanted to make money and be an entrepreneur when he was just 16 years old, (instead of focusing on school and college,) so he went after it by trying to figure out how to make money on the internet. Looking back he knows that if he never took that leap at such a young age he wouldn’t be where he is now.  Another big concept of the Big Leap, is something Gay calls the Upper Limit Problem, which is how you transcend barriers to get to where you are.  At the beginning of Neil’s career, location was a big barrier that he had to overcome. There were a lot of “tech” opportunities happening in San Francisco at the time but not so much in LA, where he is located. Zoom and Skype weren’t really around so it was very hard to start a business, whether it was raising venture capital or hiring employees in a virtual or web based environment. It was a huge hurdle early on. Nowadays, that problem doesn't really exist. You don't even need an office for most businesses.  Curious as to what Neil’s personality traits are that have both helped AND hurt him on his journey to success? He’s admittedly very persistent, stubborn and does whatever he wants. If he believes in something, he goes for it and doesn’t care what people say, never giving up. (which can be a bad quality sometimes because he’s lost a lot of money because of it.) He’s also very analytical and data driven, constantly thinking about numbers. It’s something he can’t turn off. Neil admits he’s a really terrible manager too but luckily technology has evolved to make things a bit easier these days.  A quality Neil possess and practices that we really admire is his ability to say NO. He’s not afraid to say no to something that might look like a giant money opportunity if it doesn't feel right. He's not attached to the money outcome and that’s a skill a lot of entrepreneurs need to develop.  To hear how Neil discovered the “key to success,” (it’s not what you’re thinking) PLUS his evolution as an innovator and creator, his process for creation and where he gets his inspiration and motivation from, tune in here!  We’d love to know what your Biggest Leaps have been? - would you text “BL” to (858) 434-5316 and share yours?   If you prefer video, click here to watch the episode on YouTube! 

Do you feel like you’re trapped? Stuck?  Like your life is going absolutely NOWHERE?  Like you’re wearing cement shoes, completely and utterly STUCK in every aspect of your life? (Money, relationships, health, business...)  How much would you give to be able to escape that paralyzing feeling or situation and actually be free?  You’re in luck because today on The Big Leap podcast, Gay Hendricks and Mike Koenigs will give you everything you need to get UNSTUCK. Getting both your own mind and helping a spouse or partner get unstuck with you. Plus Gay will teach you about your two personality types.  Learning about your two different personalities can save you a lot of pain by knowing what elements of both personalities are and how they show up in relationships. Grab a notepad because there’s a lot of juicy stuff in this one!  Every single human being needs to know how to get UNstuck. Both Gay and Mike have had their trials and tribulations with the issue... and they still do. It's part of the human experience and okay to get stuck. Everybody does now and again.  The question is, what resources and tools get you unstuck?  What Gay has found over the last 40 years of working with many different people is that some are actually unconsciously committed to staying stuck and have a vested interest in keeping themselves unenlightened.  Let’s talk about the two different personality types. (Once you understand them it makes it a lot easier to forgive yourself for being stuck.)  When we come into this world, for the first six months or so, the only thing we have to do is to exude being. We usually have people around us that when we smile at them, they smile back. The whole intent of the first six months of life is to make friends, to bond, to get close to another human being or “union.”  The second six months of life you start “individuating.” You begin to crawl. You crawl away from your mother or father, you crawl into another room and then crawl back to home base, so it's about exploration.  We have these two things called “union” and “individuation” that will go on throughout your life. Some of us are more inclined to “union.” We like to hug and get close to other people. Some of us are more about individuation. We don't like to be hugged too much and spend a lot of time by ourselves. Most of us work out a combination of union and individuation.  Number one is largely based on what can I do to get recognition and positive input. For the first six months of life we learn to smile and giggle and make people like us because that's the intent of personality. Personality number one is the outgoing part of us.  With personality number two, there's a failure of personality. With number one you smile at your daddy when he comes home from work then one day, he's in a bad mood, growls at you and swats you across the rear. Suddenly there’s a failure to please and then the intention shifts. Instead of an intention to be outgoing and connect in a positive way, you decide this is “not a safe place for me.” I have to be careful about personality.  The intention of personality number one is, “what do I need to do to get positive recognition.” When that fails, personality two kicks in with a very different intention, which is, “how can I avoid pain?”  What happens when we get stuck is that personality number two gets a grip on us and we don't know how to get out of it. This show is dedicated to how to get out of the grip of personality number two, and get back into the flow of personality number one again.  You’ll love yourself more. Others will too.  To hear all about our resources, tools and tricks to move forward and get you unstuck, tune in here! You won’t regret it.

Imagine if you could completely and totally connect with God. What if you could experience the deepest most profound sense of love, connection and bliss you have ever imagined? Mike's done it and he can tell you what he’s about to share could be both uncomfortable and VERY controversial, so fasten your seatbelts and keep reading... Gay Hendricks and Mike Koenigs have a real doozy episode for you this week on The Big Leap podcast... This is Mike's most vulnerable episode and public share to date. Here's what Mike had to say. "Three months ago, I wouldn’t consider publicly sharing this - but it’s too important not to. A few weeks ago I was invited to join in a very sacred ceremony led by several medical doctors and shamans on ancient Native American grounds in the New Mexico desert. It's an experience called 5-MeO-DMT. This is a psychedelic of the tryptamine class found in a wide variety of plant species, and at least one toad species. What was it like? Terrifying. Awe-inspiring. Beautiful. Pure love. A direct connection to God or creator. Out of body. Complete elimination of a sense of self and ego. Melting away any emotional and physical pain. A rocketship to pre-creation. In the “mind” of God. Before matter, time, space and light. Then... I woke up to a blood curdling, primal scream of emotion. Of love, fear and awe. That scream that woke me up… It was ME. It was as if my “animal” was reuniting with its spirit. All of this happened over a period of 25 minutes. Imagine pouring an entire planet into a thimble. That’s what that scream was - the human brain and body simply cannot contain a universe that’s billions of years old in it’s “container.” Intellectualizing this experience is a disservice to something very ancient and very sacred. As I sobbed and laughed and cried and laughed some more, I never felt so much divine love and connection than in that moments that had just passed. It was the most profound experience of my life. There's a tremendous reawakening and resurgence of psychedelics, entheogens and other plant based materials that is attracting the world’s leading scientists, physicists, astrophysicists, doctors, quantum scientists and the medical community. If you do some research, you’ll find major colleges and hospitals are investing heavily in using psychedelics to reduce or eliminate mental illness. Tim Ferriss donated $3mm to the Johns Hopkins Center for Psychedelic & Consciousness Research and Imperial College London. I don't regard 5-MeO-DMT as a drug. It is a profound sacrament and if there was ever something that was divinely created it is this. Despite the world’s governments and leaders creating the “War on Drugs” and associating “drugs that kill you” (alcohol, tobacco, heroin, cocaine and much of the pills that are consumed) with “drugs that can save and change your life” (5MEO, psilocybin, MDMA), this is ancient. Amazonian natives have been using entheogens, so did the Greeks, Egyptians, Vedics and other cultures for millennia. When I was 18, I tried smoking marijuana and it sent me into an absolute pit of terror that to this day I still have massive trauma associated with it. I stayed away from all substances. But to my uneducated mind that didn't know the difference between a recreational drug and something that's deeply spiritual, like 5-MeO-DMT… I didn't have the ability to discern and I didn't want to trigger an old trauma.So what was I looking for? Why did I decide to partake in this kind of medicine?There wasn't any ONE reason. I wasn’t seeking anything really.I really wanted to explore what I was hearing about the substance and trust me… I did my research. I kept hearing people like Joe Rogan and Tim Ferris talk about it for years. I met Rick Doblin through a friend, the founder of MAPS, which is an association that does profound work on the benefits of psychedelics and how they help soldiers with massive PTSD and women who survived horrible captivity and rape, walk away and not require medication or additional treatment.This year, I felt as though I had reached a point in my life where I was psychologically prepared. I had been feeling much more love, connection and depth in all of my relationships. I had reached a state in my masculinity of understanding what courage, emotion, deep connections, authenticity and being fully present and vulnerable REALLY meant. I felt like this was the next step in my journey of growth as a human being.The setting was a big factor too. It took place on Native American grounds in New Mexico underneath a massive, multi-centuries old cottonwood tree. I was supervised by doctors who are very, very experienced in the substance, so I felt like I was in good hands with proper care before and after.The entire experience lasts (depending on the person and the dose) between 15 and 30 minutes (compared to other plant medicines like Ayahuasca, that can last for hours). It’s very, very fast and most people who experienced it in this space said it was like a rocket ship.Now WHY am I sharing this with you? Why is it so important?Because after the experience, I happen to believe that a TOOL like this one could actually bring more people together.More compassion.More empathy.More understanding.More connection.It’s a tool.And I’ll go on record that the sense of compassion, oneness and connection it provides would create a KNOWING that we are all part of the divine.And if the world’s leaders, politicians and change makers could experience this ancient gift…There would be more peace on this planet.There’s more to the story!To hear more about the MOST profound and enlightening experience of my entire life, tune in here!Whether you agree with using these sacred, ancient tools or not… you can’t argue that it’s not a fascinating subject and hopefully you’ll learn a little something too!”

Have you ever thought to yourself, “celebrities have it SO easy! They’ve got the money, the fame, the friends… it must be so nice to have everything handed to you.”  But how did they get to celebrity status? Was hard work involved or just dumb luck?  Holy COW, do Gay and Mike have a super special treat for you today!!  Meet Milana Vayntrub. You may know her from the movies, “Ghostbusters” or “Mother's Little Helpers,” “Love” on Netflix, the hit TV Show, “This is Us,” or as Lily from the AT&T commercials, (frankly… she’s everywhere!) and Gay and Mike got to chat with her this week.  This episode is super cool because they got deep AND shallow, they got weird and they got real. They talked about creativity, self sabotage, procrastination, and a little bit about succulent gardens, PLUS Mike and Gay were able to give Milana a little life advice too!  Gay and Mike really admire the profession and craft of acting… especially the folks who do it well. They felt like they got inside the mind and heart of Milana, getting to know her on a deep soul level. Seeing the world through the eyes of this brilliant actor was one of the most moving parts of today’s interview.  You're going to walk away with some really, really good ideas.  Of course, we are very interested in “Big Leaps,” here on The Big Leap podcast and Milana didn’t disappoint. She has taken some VERY big leaps in her life, had major pivot points and catapulted herself to different levels by doing so.  Milana is from Uzbekistan, (part of the former Soviet Union) so she comes from a long line of people who have taken big leaps, a migrating Russian Jew. Her first big leap was coming to America when she was two years old, because even though it wasn’t her choice, it instilled in her a sense of adventure, that change is okay, and that with risk comes upward momentum.   Milana has parents who taught her how to work well under pressure and if she really spent time looking for something, she’d find it. This is the kind of mindset that was instilled in her, early on in life that informed a lot of her decisions later.  Her mom put her in acting class when she was five or six years old, even though she didn't really speak the language but Milana was naturally outgoing and liked mimicking things on TV. Her mom was not afraid to take risks so going on auditions as a kid was another Big Leap taken early in her career and life.  About 10 years ago a friend advised Milana to attend a Tony Robbins event. They told her it would change her life… and IT DID. It was a moment that reinstalled the idea of taking big risks and when she realized that her industry, (acting, writing, directing) has a lot of gatekeepers and systems in place that makes it so that you constantly need to be asking permission to be working… it didn’t work for her.  It was actually after one of Tony’s seminars that she realized she needed to start creating her own work and that she had a lot of limiting beliefs around why she shouldn't or couldn't. So she started a YouTube channel, which was just her and her friend making videos on her couch, inviting friends over and being idiots together, but in a way that totally launched her career!  She created a web series called, “Let's Talk about Something More Interesting,” and started inviting friends. Then she got a little bit of traction and started inviting fancier friends. Eventually she had Bob Odenkirk, BJ Novak and Matt Damon on her couch. Through that she got the attention of a great manager who got her a great agent and helped her get work all over the place.  Believing in herself and realizing that she could do hard things was a MAJOR Big Leap for Milana.  Milana confessed during our time together that if she had ONE wish for YOU,