Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

You're the man now, dawg! Tommy and Tina talk about their recent travels and how lame it is to watch old dudes hit on young girls by trying to sound like they're young too. The lesson: act your age or better yet - just do you, dawg. Christina admits to knowing nothing about current affairs and especially about Kennebunkport. The real treat here is Top Dog gives gold. He talks farts, brown, toilet paper, and how he used to pick up chicks. Guys, you're going to want to take notes cause you're about to start getting laid way more. Bankers beware! And the official Podcast T-shirt makes its debut! Wipe Down! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You think that just because you've had ribs and listened to salsa music with someone that you know them - but that isn't always the case. Charles Ramsey tells it like it is and that's why we can't get enough of him on YMH. While some are quick to point out he isn't the most media saavy man on the planet, we're here to tell you that is precisely why he is so awesome. He is SO awesome that we hope he comes to see Christina in Cleveland this week - lets make it happen. We went back to Snooshi and we ate WHATEVER WE WANTED, Buns tells you how dope T Dot was and it gets real jeansy when The D**K Detectives go after their next case - Matt Fulchiron! All that plus prostitutes and more! Cut holes into your denim! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

U-N-I-T-Y! The original trio is back! Tom and Christina couldn't be happier to welcome Redban into the mommydome for the first time since their VERY public and VERY ugly breakup! Things start off badly as Redban had to be restrained after trying to fight Blueban. After his anger and jealousy of Blueban subsides you get an instant classic episode. Lots of love and laughs with Podfather. Get ready for Dental Updates, Would You Rather's, an amazing call with Top Dog and much more! Lots of Brown in this one!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The mommies can't add. We know words and we know sounds and we know that catsfish and bass loves frogs cause we're smart. We knows what's to use! But math - no thank you! Tommy is smarter than Tina, but Tina has a big heart. Tommy also has a special gift - he knows from simply glancing at a woman if she is DTF. He knows who is a waste of time and who has jeans that are easy to take off. We go back for Sushi from the lady who enjoys shaming us, but this time we show her who will apply more pressure (pwessha). We have a Brown Talk segment that truly breaks it down. Plus Dental Updates and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Birthday, Lady America! Today Mommy United States pushed our country out of her HOO-hole! Set a sparkler on fire to celebrate! We happily welcome Ari "Bear Jew" Shaffir into the Mommy Dome. We talk exercise and how much we like/don't like doing it, embarassing moments on stage, how censoring curse words from your children is fucking stupid and also how adults who are offended by cursing are cunts. An impromptu Dick Detectives comes out of nowhere! Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut athletes addition! We tease the return of Casey "Where The Dudes At?" and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bring the muthafuckin Ruckus! Tom and Christina drop science on you so open up your journals and take notes! We begin with some friendly banter regarding our different tastes in music to warm your ears. Then the moment you've all been waiting for arrives - Tom talks about his trip with Top Dog which includes audio immediately after Top Dog shit his pants. It's a special moment for Tom and all of our little mommies. We read a listener email, discuss our neighbor's new sex friend, talk about a new documentary about Where The Dudes are At, Real Talk about gypsies and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Texas was off boot kickin good time, ya'll! We tell ya all 'bout it! We want your crazy trucker stories, truckers. Tell us about lizard lots. Real Talk: Naked and Afraid is Lame and Dumb. Inside the Vietnam War is very informative and gets a pass on racial slurs - pretty awesome, huh? We never watch shows when they're hott, son. That's why Christina is just now watchin The Sopranos, you know what I'm sayin? Aunty FeeFee knocks it out of the park again. Just when you think she can't wrap God and something unrelated into a song, she blows your mind. Tommy and Tina give you the list of what they're most thankful for. What are you most thankful for? Beef? Your Phone? We have crack whores talkin smack before they shoot adult stuff too. It's a good day! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Mommy Dome is a hot bed of hot topics on this episode. Christina and Tom discuss Nate Dogg's prolific career, brown talk, the most disgusting cookbook ever, Real Talk about Mob Wives, KC BBQ, the history of "KingFish", a new Mommy sing-a-long song, and more! Jeans up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Konnichiwa! Your mommies are happy to welcome their first Asian into the mommydome! Comedian, history buff, Tonight Show fan, and porn aficionado, Yoshi Obayashi. It's a super fun show that touches nearly every topic. I dare other podcasts to step to this! (Oh SHIT, no he didn't!) We discuss our mutual love and admiration for Dave Attell, racism, stereotypes, Yoshi's affiliation with the adult business, his many interestes and travels, and our favorite story ever of someone unknowingly eating drugs! Great episode! Pull those jeans up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

LaLaLaLaLAAAA! Can you sing? Good for you. This week our guest has a golden voice, twisted mind, and strong hands (Tom's ass found out the hard way). That's right, Brian Haner, who some of you know as Guitar Guy stops by the Mommy Dome to continue our love affair that began in South Africa. If that sounds confusing listen to the episode and solve the mystery! We have great conversation, Brian sings for us, and we even get to play Tom Or Black! This is the time to pull that denim up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices