Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Live from the Irvine Improv with 500 mommies in the stands. Let er rip! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How much sausage do you need to feed your whole family? What if there are some big women in it? Probably more, right? Would you leave an angry voicemail about it?  This episode has Gucci Mane, bloody yoga pants, boring videos and the SECRET to a Double Pipe Classic? WHAT?!?! yeah. Listen.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you haven't ever seen a whale penis, you don't size and you don't know Penis. Tommy hung out with Top Dog and Charo this weekend and he has tales to tell. Plus Gene had a dream that Tommy was bad and now she's mad at him in real life. Does this nonsense happen in your life as well? Tina's phone got a new text. Anyone interested in DRUGS?!?! AND, more boring videos, Hey Mommy and much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When someone goes on strike you know they mean business. This lady is going on strike for something so important we can't actually spell out what it is (It's Gross and comes out of a man's penis). We step in to Studio G with Super Dad Nerd, G. We wear our awesome new Pup Masks as we are always heightening our sense of smell. Plus absolutely AMAZE music from so many of you. We're putting Bitsy on a diet and SO much more. Thanks, Jeans.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As perhaps the leading non-binary couple in the podcast comedy world today we are thrilled to bring you this aspect of the wonder from the perspective of our obtuse reality. Hope that was clear. Sometimes when you are making a brown someone will crawl under the stall to see if you are indeed browning. What would you do in that situation? The Mommies saw another horrible movie. Hope you get to have a night ruined by it as well. Plus another guy had vocal fry and it wasn't even the worst part of his personality. He also liked to....kill and eat people. Can you guess who?This episode is full of such a good time we HAD to find some boring audio to dull it down. Hope it's boring enough for you.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever tried to get a hearing impaired person to lick your stuff but you weren't sure how to do it? We have answers. Plus we're pretty sure we found our sons little league coach. Hope he's still around when Little Jeans is ready to play. This guy emphasizes that losing sucks and no one wants to be one. Tina and Tommy both break down what they individually hate and what they hate as a couple (acoustic?). Hi Mommy...Thanks Jeans rages on and much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't hit me, Mummy! Don't hurt me, mummy! This week Tommy recaps his big celebration trip with Burnt and both pairs of Jeans have a Dental Update. Who do you think has the more perfect smile? Jack Reach Around Two is reviewed. Spoiler Alert: It's a pile of garbage. More emails and more orders of Hey, Mommy....Thanks, Jeans! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Finally! Someone is talking about the real issues - how do you mop up all that stuff after you make kisses? A nice British lady is going to show us the way (it's the Shower).Plus - you weigh in on the Personality Battle. Hey, some of you are a little TOO honest. Thanks.We meet a lady who wants to live with no environmental impact. That includes REUSING toilet paper. NEAT.And Hey, Mommy...Thanks, Jeans rolls on.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The McAfee Virus guy isn't just a genius when it comes to protecting your PC. He also has discovered that hammocks are great for lounging on and pooping off of. Just listen to this parade of women tell you about it. Plus, you've picked sides when it comes to #Water, #Posture and #fitness. Now the two jeans break down who has a better #personality. Which side are YOU on?!We have a new most boring video ever. Is it real? Doubtful. More dad accents, Horrible or Hilarious and some Hall Of Fame level ordering of "Hi, Mommy...Thanks, Jeans!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Reach into your pants, hold on to your twig and berries and take a DEEP SNIFF.That's how you train to be a good pup. Good boy.  Tommy is deep in his weight loss competition with Burnt. These last 24 hours are rough!We revisit with Orlando Brown who has new ways to describe his sexual exploits. Plus, what YMH word does Tina add to her coffee order? Are you ready to step up your "Hi Mommy, Thanks Jeans" Game? It's all here.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices