Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

SPONSORS: - Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH. Promo Code YMH - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse - Go to https://Helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide. - Use code YMH at https://monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. Check your six, mommy! In this absolutely unhinged episode of Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina suit up in tactical vests and announce a bold new YMH initiative: total-life preparedness. From flashlight stances to 10-second doorway scans, the leaders of the Mommy Militia learn how to navigate a world full of lurking threats, fire, danger, and of course… clowns. Shout out to Jason Fabus for the amazing sax intro (IG: @jasonfabus). Tom and Christina show off an impressive array of emergency gear (machetes, trauma shears, MRE pizza with 5,000 calories, brass knuckles, and a foldable murder-credit-card), before the two dive into more safety guy Larry Betz safety lessons, some prime examples of black romance, horny James Joyce letters, trench foot, some horrible or hilarious clips, some TikTok's, and then addressing the loss of a truly stacked inspiration. Stay safe. Stay ready. And never walk into a Chili’s without scanning the exits first. Your Mom’s House Ep. 840 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:12 - Farts & Safety 00:06:44 - Opening Clip: Restaurant Scan 00:16:40 - Clip: Safety Shaun 00:18:59 - More Safety Tips & The Perfect Neighbor 00:30:54 - Clip: Misgendered Meltdown 00:35:11 - Clip: Talk To The Butt 00:37:08 - James Joyce Love Letters 00:41:31 - Clip: Big Gay Clowns 00:43:59 - Madonna 00:47:03 - Clip: Headbutt Self Defense 00:48:46 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:54:15 - Clip: Isolation Year 00:57:41 - RIP Mary Magdalene 00:59:16 - Clip: Pastor's Cool Advice For Women 01:04:38 - Fedsmoker Jr 01:09:05 - TikToks 01:19:38 - Final Safety Tips 01:22:01 - Closing Song - "She Got Tits" by Joseph and John Juarez Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: - Shop SKIMS Mens at https://SKIMS.com. #skimspartner - Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH. Promo Code YMH - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom Segura and Christina P are firing on all cylinders as chaos reigns from start to finish. Christine boldly reclaims her glasses identity (sparking a surprisingly heated household debate), questionable gift choices come under scrutiny, and the internet once again proves it was the greatest mistake. From rage-filled rants about fake followers and bots, to disturbingly confident accountants, fetish podcasters breaking down their very specific preferences, and viral videos featuring hornets, skateboarding trauma, and shower-time courting rituals, this episode will make you cry m, my baby! Tim and Christine also check out more content from their new favorite survivalist, chime in on a Italian man's scam with his dead mother, and go off about people walking among us who aren't as sane as they seem. Add in fart economics, tactical vests for children, holiday gifting advice, and a deep dive into what really makes something “gay,” and you’ve got a classic YMH rollercoaster. Buckle up, Mommy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 839 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:58 - Opening Clip: Fireside Chat 00:07:19 - Clowning Around A Pazsitzky Effect 00:17:00 - Prepared Not Paranoid 00:28:40 - Lipstick Plug 00:30:16 - Bitches Love A Strong Jawline 00:34:39 - Clip: Fart Fetish Confession 00:39:20 - Clip: Domino's Fart Pizza 00:43:18 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:49:34 - MMA Domination 00:51:43 - Hitler Won An Election 00:58:19 - Italian Mom Scam + Plain Clothes Psycho 01:05:38 - Meghan Markle's Salmonella Thanksgiving 01:08:35 - Crack Is Whack 01:14:40 - A Really Cool Story 01:19:38 - TikToks 01:33:49 - Closing Song - "SooWoo" by Josh Del Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom and Christina hilariously roast bland Thanksgiving food while contemplating regional seasoning habits. They share the excitement of Tom's upcoming Netflix special and dive into the absurdities of online personas like GoogleDaddy. A fit dad at the kiddie pool becomes a topic of obsession, leading to a playful debate on parenting and attraction. They also poke fun at 'stay safe' videos and explore outrageous holiday gift ideas, from tactical belts to night-vision gear. Plus, the struggle of managing their overweight cat adds a comedic touch to their discussions on fitness.

Tom will be touring in Tacoma, Washington at the Emerald Queen Casino, and after that, Oakland, California, at the Paramount Theatre November 30th. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on early Black Friday deals. Head to https://Wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair’s Black Friday deals for up to 70% off. - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse - Use code YMH at https://monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. What's up, Chomos?!? It's a super-sized episode as Tom and Christina spiral into complete chaos as they announce Tom’s brand new Italian bakery opening in Austin, debate the official hierarchy of Small Fat, Mid Fat & Super Fat, and revisit one of YMH’s greatest Cool Guys — the meth dude who “came in 4 strokes.” The mommies also break down a billionaire who lost over $300 million gambling, roast Bezos and Zuckerberg’s glow-ups, and discuss why every CEO is suddenly shredded. Plus: fat pets, fart mics, autistic rant guy, and the saddest cat breastfeeding story ever told. Your Mom’s House Ep. 837 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:46 - A Taste Of IT-Ly 00:05:40 - Opening Chaos & Classic Cool Guy Musings 00:10:55 - What Type Of Fat Are You? 00:19:51 - Clip: Rant On Autism 00:22:26 - Clip: The Drooling Gambler 00:29:47 - Clip: Fat Love 00:35:53 - Fat Pets 00:44:49 - Clip: Ex Liked My Farts 00:46:12 - Fit CEO's 00:54:51 - Tommy Lasorda 00:58:31 - Clip: Dressed Up 01:00:57 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:04:18 - Indian Hospitals 01:08:08 - TikToks 01:14:09 - Closing Song - "Principal Coffee" by Chydah Sneeze Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom and Christina dive into the curious history of Thanksgiving and the stinky reality of life before antibiotics. They dissect a hilarious clip of a tweaked-out double agent and explore Tom's wild 3% body fat goal. Christina shares her papier-mâché obsession while debating quirky toy representations like Diabetes Barbie. The hosts humorously tackle celebrity anecdotes, food fears around pickles, and bizarre personal stories, blending humor with a sprinkle of social commentary for a wild ride!

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to http://LIQUIDIV.COM and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. Tom and Christina are back in the Studio Jeans for another week of really wild finds and the discovery of a possible heir to the FedSmoker crown. Before that, Christina launches her new winter makeup drop (“Cuts You Up”) and the Jeans reminisce about classic reality TV — from Wife Swap’s “God Warrior” meltdown to Ice Cube’s bizarre early-2000s race-swap experiment on FX. They then dive deep into constipation talk (suppositories vs. laxatives), hospital horror stories, and whether couples who don’t fart in front of each other are living a lie. Tom reveals his new fear of contact lenses, Christina roasts his glasses, and finally both spiral into laughter over the reincarnation of a YMH legend on a college campus. What’s Up There Chomo? Your Mom’s House Ep. 835 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:54 - Wife Swap God Warrior 00:09:45 - Opening Clip: No Poop For You 00:12:25 - Good Old Fashioned Brown Talk 00:21:19 - Race Swap Reality Show 00:28:24 - Apartheid Museum 00:31:16 - Clip: Gas Station Photographer 00:35:17 - Dad Eyes 00:40:31 - A New FedSmoker? 00:52:22 - Crazy American Melts Down On Boat 00:56:11 - Christina's Curations 01:08:41 - Wrap Up 01:09:48 - Closing Song - "Vocal Fry Jam" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Head to https://Mood.com and use code YOURMOM to find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover YOUR perfect mood. - Get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less. Head to https://Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/YMH. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. Happy Hallow Jeans! Welcome to a very spooky and very fashionable episode of Your Mom’s House! 🎃 This week, Tom Segura and Christina P get into the Halloween spirit—well, Christina does—by showing up as Karl Lagerfeld, complete with fingerless gloves and antisocial energy, while Tom is dressed as a Tom Segura who totally forgets his costume. The jeans dive into Karl’s insane quotes, fashion snobbery, and hatred of sweatpants, before somehow landing on Florida’s trashiest white people, Santa-denying parents, and why Jewish holidays can’t compete with Christmas. Then, the Hamburglar aka Ryan Sickler joins the show to talk about his new stand-up special Live and Alive, why his brow lift left him without a Halloween costume, and how bullying might actually build character. Plus, the Main Mommies also show Ryan some horrible or hilarious clips and everything insane they've been watching this week. ROBBLE ROBBLE! Your Mom’s House Ep. 834 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:57 - Opening Clip: Ryan Needs Some Action 00:06:28 - Halloween On Christmas 00:14:14 - Florida Trash 00:22:50 - Fart Eyes Responds 00:25:40 - Some Gay Stuff 00:34:37 - Clip: Exploding Horny Dude 00:37:48 - Bert 00:40:59 - The Hamburglar Roasts Karl Lagerfeld 00:47:17 - Pudding Unc 00:54:08 - Clip: One Eyed Lady 00:56:12 - Clip: Picky Eater 01:02:09 - Sickler's New Special 01:07:28 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:22:31 - I'm Ryan 01:27:07 - Cafe Bich Nga 01:30:22 - Lars Van Trier Loves H Dog 01:32:18 - Austin's Poop Problem 01:41:38 - Clip: Earl Changes 01:47:19 - Closing Song - "Fuk Me Tonite" by Matt Mercer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom's traveling across Texas, Amarillo on Nov. 1st, then Lubbock on Nov. 2nd and El Paso on Nov. 6th. Make sure to get your tickets at ⁠https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Shop SKIMS Men's at ⁠https://SKIMS.com⁠. - Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠https://monarchmoney.com/ymh - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse Tom Segura and Christina P. welcome world-renowned mentalist Oz Pearlman to Your Mom’s House! Oz stuns the crew with mind-blowing mental tricks, wild psychological insights, and a peek behind the curtain of how he reads people. From guessing Tom’s childhood crush to revealing impossible inside jokes, Oz leaves everyone speechless. Plus, Tom and Christina talk Killarney drunks, pickup artist “Mystery,” and the weirdest viral videos on the internet. Your Mom’s House Ep. 833 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:04 - Opening Clip: Master Of Redneck Accents 00:10:07 - Sham From Killarney 00:17:39 - Clip: No Neck 00:20:16 - Clip: Coochie Confrontation 00:23:03 - Mystery Is Back 00:35:32 - Oz Pearlman Is Here To Blow Our Minds 00:41:07 - Show N Tell 00:46:35 - Ryan Gets Got 00:54:18 - How'd You Get A Job Here? 01:03:16 - Entertaining Steven Spielberg & Other Heroes 01:12:42 - Christine's Turn 01:19:29 - Enny Hates This 01:22:38 - Birthday Money Trick 01:27:07 - Wrap Up 01:29:23 - Closing Song - "It's A Surprise" by DJ Wet Nut Sack Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom's coming to Hanover, Maryland on the 19th as well as all over Indiana Oct. 23th - 26th. Make sure to get your tickets at https://TomSegura.com/Tour SPONSORS: Use the read where they say http://helixsleep.com/YMH Get your first month of BlueChew FREE at https://bluechew.com New Customers Bet $5 Get $300 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. #DKPartner Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. Hey, Jeans! Tim’s off at rehab for an eating disorder (allegedly), so Christina welcomes certified Soul Mommy and Not Today Pal co-host Rob Iler to hold down the fort. They dive head-first into the single life, dating red flags, and the thriving world of inmate dating apps — complete with reviews of real prison profiles. Rob reveals his “type,” Christina confesses her John Goodman fantasy, and together they somehow connect it all to asthma, cigarettes, and childhood trauma. If you're in the mood for farts, felons, and philosophy this week, you've come to the right place! Your Mom’s House Ep. 832 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit https://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit https://ccpg.org (CT), or visit https://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in NH/OR/ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply. Terms: https://draftkings.com/sportsbook. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Fees may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. Must register new account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to receive $300 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Token expires 11/23/25. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: https://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 11/16/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:53 - Opening Clip: Fat Women Are Broke Dudes 00:08:26 - You're The One For Me Fatty 00:15:16 - Idaho Prison Inmate Dating Game 00:22:06 - Wolly Willy Babe 00:27:41 - Here For Good Time, Not Long Time 00:32:27 - Chain Smoking Grandparents 00:40:21 - Traveling Girls 00:45:48 - Happy Tom, Gross Rob 00:53:06 - Clip: Horse Milk 00:54:39 - Big Cheese Guy 00:58:49 - Learning Things From TikTok 01:05:55 - Poo Poo Pee Pee Dealbreakers + Rob's Pazsitzky Effect 01:14:28 - Christina's Curations 01:24:07 - More TikToks 01:40:45 - Closing Song -"Booty Opens Up" by Buttstin Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

New Jersey and and New York Tom's coming to you Oct. 15th, 17th and 18th. Make sure to get your tickets at https://TomSegura.com/Tour SPONSORS: - Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to http://LIQUID-IV.COM and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. - Head to https://Mood.com and use code YOURMOM to find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover YOUR perfect mood. Welcome back to the Mommy Dome! Tom Segura and Christina P are bleeding with laughter this week—literally. From syncing up their “cycles” to debating who actually looks at their own turds, the mommydom gets raw, messy, and very YMH. Christina shares her discovery that she might be a femboy thanks to TikTok, the two lose it over a Vietnamese café, and a drunk casino regular goes viral for swearing revenge on Encore at 10:30 in the morning. Things get even wilder with a Miami tax-prep guru who doubles as a bizarre influencer, a heated dental update with a hygiene showdown where Tom insists he “knows gums,” and Christina’s revelation about her biggest fear of turning into an emotional vampire. It's bloody good time this week at Your Mom’s House! Your Mom’s House Ep. 831 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:33 - Opening Clip: Cafe Bich Nga 00:13:41 - A History Lesson 00:21:16 - Boston Gambler 00:27:20 - Cool Accountant 00:33:33 - Clip: Catching Poops 00:37:05 - Clip: Happy Birthday Fatty 00:37:29 - DENTAL UPDATE 00:43:36 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:51:11 - The Person You're Afraid Of Becoming 00:58:32 - Clip: Rollercoaster Barf 00:58:56 - Clip: Road Rage Cabron 01:03:46 - TikToks 01:18:09 - Closing Song -"Alpha Advice" by WavKingz Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices