Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Try Tastemade+ free for 7 days right now at https://tastemade.com/YMH Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code YMH -- just pay $5 shipping. Get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 at https://Talkspace.com Hey Jeans! This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina kick things off with some good old fashioned white woman cringe. From Fergie massacring the national anthem to Kim Cattrall scatting, we've got a gauntlet of embarrassing singing in public for you to enjoy. Tom then opens the show with a clip of a wild mattress flip, before the Main Mommies get an update from Tony Johns, whose recent stint behind bars has put his Vegas plans on hold. They then speculate on what King Ass Ripper, the cool guy who got away, has been up to. The two also talk about learning to speak mother tongues, black dudes not being amused by gay stuff, a vision update, buckets of brown, Enny thoughts, plus some horrible or hilarious clips, and a Vietnamese hair salon with a questionable name. Don't forget to check your b holes for sores! Your Mom’s House Ep. 809 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:00 - Fergie's Greatest Hits 00:05:56 - Clip: Kim Cattrall Scatting 00:08:17 - Clip: Big Jessica Simpson Energy 00:09:32 - Opening Clip: Bed Flip 00:14:45 - Tony Johns Is Locked Up 00:22:46 - Mother Tongue 00:31:18 - The Cool Guy Who Got Away 00:42:38 - Black Dudes Don't Like The Gay Stuff 00:45:37 - Vision Update + Tom's Poo Buckets 00:54:05 - Clip: Sores In Ma B Hole 00:54:50 - A New Challenge 00:59:07 - Enny Thoughts 01:03:46 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:06:54 - Vietnamese Hair Salon 01:11:08 - Dates 01:12:51 - Closing Song - "Fart Mic Assassins" by Brothers & Hendawg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour Don't miss Tom Segura's new sketch comedy series "Bad Thoughts" premiering on Netflix May 13th! SPONSORS: Learn more about Lightstrike at https://Drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @‌drinklightstrike. You can find Cremo’s new line of antiperspirants and deodorants at Target or https://Target.com Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse Get 20% off your first order of Liquid I.V. when you go to http://LIQUIDIV.COM and use code YMH at checkout. Hey Jeans! This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina are back from Fantasy Island and the Mommies kick things off with a classic opening clip that'll have you saying, "What?!"They catch up on Tony Johns’ latest adventures — including his Vegas sex scene and current courtroom drama — plus a surprise call from RPC where he seems down to drop everything and join the Vegas fun! Next, Tom drops the trailer for his brand-new Netflix show and debuts it for the all the Mommies first. Tim and Kirsten also weigh in on Mick Jagger’s wedding, Keanu’s appropriately aged girlfriend, Gwyneth Paltrow’s face situation, and why taking care of yourself before you're too old is the move. They next go down a TikTok rabbit hole which includes bad haircuts, buffets, secret menu items, portal jumping, Little Debbie honey buns, and fat-shaming in Thailand. All this, plus some music dreams, rougey cocktails, underage drinking nostalgia, lipstick plugs, and a whole lot of gay corn jokes. Pull those jeans up! Your Mom’s House Ep. 808 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:54 - Fantasy Island 00:09:49 - Opening Clip: WHAT?! 00:14:50 - Tony Johns + RPC Collab? 00:29:33 - YMH Exclusive: Bad Thoughts Full Trailer Premiere 00:35:46 - Lipstick Plug & Greased Up 00:37:55 - Mick Jagger Got Married 00:42:19 - Taking Care Of Yourself 00:48:22 - Clip: Ms. Pat Asks Trick Daddy About Diddy 00:49:32 - Clip: Black Light Daddy Pop Star 00:53:25 - Adult Beverages 01:01:47 - Christina's Curations 01:15:09 - Closing Song - "Any C*m In Those Balls" by TPK Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian Brad Williams joins the conversation, bringing his unique perspectives on dwarfism and humor. They dive into the complexities of niche attractions, discussing dwarf fetishes and a new slur for tall people. Brad shares his thoughts on the controversial portrayal of dwarves in the new Snow White movie, highlighting Hollywood's ongoing casting issues. The trio explores the hilarity of short jokes and the challenge of following Brad's act, blending insightful commentary with laugh-out-loud moments along the way.

Tony Johns, an adult entertainer known for his OnlyFans content, joins the conversation for a wild ride. He shares his hilarious experience of being kicked out of a dive bar, alongside updates about his photo hustle and a steamy new project with Alexis Fawx. The banter turns playful as the hosts recount Tom's night at a gay bar, complete with outrageous outfits and relationship absurdities. They dive into humorous topics like aging, fisting in the gay community, and quirky personal anecdotes, all with a comedic twist.

Dive into hilarity as colonoscopies collide with comedy! Tom and Christina laugh about the absurdity of bodily functions, with Tom embracing his gross dad persona. They share outrageous dating tips and explore flatulence as a love language. A wild saga involving Tony Johns adds chaos, while the duo humorously critiques TikTok's rising stars. Their take on the Minecraft Movie and memorable live performances will keep you entertained. Expect anecdotes, wild characters, and plenty of laughs about life’s quirky moments!

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tourSPONSORS: Learn more about Lightstrike at https://Drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @‌drinklightstrike. For their buy 1 get 1 50% off deal, head to https://3DayBlinds.com/YMH. A hole is a hole, partner! These are the famous words of the modern day Dirk Diggler, Mr. Tony Johns who drops in for this week's YMH! Before Tony calls in, Tom and Christine talk about their trip back from the UK, which included a visit to the Tower of London, where the kids were eager to see the torture devices. Tom also reveals he has evolved into a guy who shits on airplanes after turning 40 and then shares some stories about playing in Madison Square Garden, where Redman, Chrissy D, and Joey Diaz opened for him on an unforgettable night. They also talk CP’s desire for Bauhaus to open for her, Big Dad Energy, and shout out London’s food scene while criticizing Europe’s shitty public toilet situation. They then finally get to the opening clip featuring the phrase “Grippy Garfield”, which you'll have to watch and find out about on your own. They also discuss overweight flight attendants, the Baldwins being cringe once again, a schizo lady in a Canadian government conspiracy, the family cloth, and a hot chick farting for content. Oh, also “BREED” makes an appearance, and Tom is so excited to cover the latest Tony Johns drama, recalling all of his recent chaotic moments. Tony Johns next joins the show and talks about dealing with a bully coworker at Walmart, a scary landlord, and his OnlyFans ventures, including his film debut in the works featuring Alexis Fawx. Finally, Tom wraps the insane episode up by mocking a racist white lady’s wedding speech at an interracial marriage. Wooooo come on wit it!Your Mom’s House Ep. 804https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcastChapters 00:00:00 - Intro00:00:52 - UK Trip, Big Dad Energy, & Plane Poopies 00:07:20 - Madison Square Garden00:13:36 - European Public Toilets 00:15:57 - Opening Clip: Grippy Garfield00:23:26 - Fat Flight Attendants00:29:59 - Those Damn Baldwins 00:37:50 - Schizo Evelyn Montage 00:40:18 - Clip: Family Cloth00:41:35 - Clip: Farting Baddie00:44:20 - The Life & Times Of Tony Johns01:01:32 - Tony Johns Sets The Record Straight 01:09:12 - More Wild & Crazy Stories 01:16:47 - Making Dreams Come True 01:21:33 - Clip: Cone To The Face 01:22:09 - Clip: Dumb Push-ups01:22:38 - Clip: Well Done Ribs01:23:12 - Cool Guy Collabs01:24:56 - Shitty Wedding Speech01:33:38 - Wrap Up01:35:30 - Closing Song "I Got A DUI, Baby" by grasskingdoms & Fart Simpson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, tech entrepreneur and biohacker Bryan Johnson joins the talk to share his radical anti-aging strategies from his 'Don’t Die' program. He dives into his bizarre wellness routines, including hyperbaric chambers, olive oil rituals, and even shock waving. The conversation also uncovers his Mormon roots, effective sleep tips, and whether owning a jet is really worth it. With humor and insight, Bryan explores extreme health practices and the quest for longevity, leaving us questioning how far we’d go to live forever.

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour Interested in learning more about Mark Cuban's company? Visit http://CostPlusDrugs.com to find out more!SPONSORS: Check out the full lineup and get 15 percent off your first order at https://TRUEWERK.com/ymh. Go to https://shopify.com/momshouse to upgrade your selling today. Secure your online data TODAY by visiting https://ExpressVPN.com/ymh Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. This week on Your Mom’s House, Robert Smith and Christina P are joined by billionaire entrepreneur and Shark Tank legend Mark Cuban.Tom and Christina are STILL hyped after YMH Live X and recap more of the insanity from that legendary night. Tom next opens the show with an unhinged clip of an old man who hasn't been laid in 30 years, before he brings up his tradition of texting Joe Rogan horrifying death videos. Other highlights include a Hulk Hogan steamer situation, a bizarre Kanye tattoo on an Asian guy, and a deep dive into Charles Manson documentaries.The one and only Mark Cuban joins the pod, and things get real. Mark opens up about selling the Mavericks, what it’s like to trade a generational talent like Luka Dončić, and why checking his bank account makes everything better. He spills secret rich guy knowledge (like how money makes ugly people attractive), explains why he’s not a yacht guy, and hilariously pitches Tom on buying a private jet.Mark also talks about being a public dad, his love for working, and why he’s obsessed with the future. He breaks down Shark Tank—from the dumbest pitches ever to surprising success stories like Dude Wipes—and how he’s wrong half the time when investing. The conversation gets even wilder as Mark shares thoughts on hunting Somali pirates, his late-night Twitter beefs, AI, NBA rule changes, and why he’s all-in on healthcare reform with http://CostPlusDrugs.com. Don’t miss it, Jeans!Your Mom’s House Ep. 802https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcastGAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY).Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD).21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS).1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 3/30/25 at 11:59 PM ET.Pick6 not available everywhere, including, but not limited to NY and CA-ONT (for up-to-date list of jurisdictions please visit pick6.draftkings.com/where-is-pick6-available). Sponsored by DK.Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro00:03:29 - YMH Live X Still Got Us Hyped00:10:19 - Opening Clip: Hard Time Getting Hard00:17:15 - Heavy Reactions00:21:07 - Deep Diving The Opening Clip00:24:52 - Clip: A Hulk Hogan Steamer00:28:33 - Christina P Trashes Meghan M 00:42:48 - Clip: Decent Footjob Review 00:44:49 - Clip: Cool Kanye Tattoo00:45:39 - Charles Manson00:53:56 - Mark Cuban Talks Mavs & Luka Doncic01:00:42 - Secret Rich Guy Stuff01:08:31 - How To Win At The Sport Of Business 01:14:51 - Dumb Shark Tank Pitches01:22:33 - Putting Your Kids On The Right Path01:28:22 - Personal Stuff & Somali Pirates01:34:31 - AI & The Future Of Podcasts01:43:01 - Changing The Game01:47:45 - Mark Cuban's Favorite Things01:55:47 - Closing Song - "Pussy Glassin" by Lady Money Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Missed YMH Live X? Witness our BEST Live yet at https://livestream.ymhstudios.com/Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tourSPONSORS: Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide. Try VIIA! https://viia.co/YMH and use code YMH! Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code YMH -- just pay $5 shipping. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. In this jam-packed episode of Your Mom's House, Tom and Christina welcome the one and only Andrew Schulz!Before Schulz joins the Main Mommies, we open the show with a cool gal talking some shit about her jealous mom, before Tom shares his deep affection for Chicago, and Christina reflects on her steamy sex dream where she and Tom were both Black (yes, you read that right). They also celebrate the return of YMH Live X, discuss an outrageous encounter with a fat and gay flight attendant and react to some truly mind-blowing clips—including a loser who's married to a mannequin.Andrew Schulz next joins in and opens up about his new comedy special, LIFE, his approach to storytelling, and his exciting journey into fatherhood. Things get real as the group shares miscarriage horror stories, blending raw honesty with some dark laughs. The chaos continues with a deep dive into Temptation Island Spain, the internet sensation Montoya, the wild content on the Zeus Network, and some guy named Aaron the Plumber who fights transwomen. Don’t miss it, Jeans!Your Mom’s House Ep. 801https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcastChapters 00:00:00 - Intro00:00:00 - Opening Clip: Jealous Mom Hate00:00:00 - YMH LIVE X00:00:00 - Chicago00:00:00 - Christina's Hot Black Dream00:00:00 - Black Hawk Down/What Jennifer Did 00:00:00 - The Fattest And Gayest Flight Attendant00:00:00 - 50 Year Old Loser 00:00:00 - Andrew Schulz & Pregnancy Horror Stories 00:00:00 - Tom & Christina's Kids00:00:00 - Comedic Scene Shifts00:00:00 - TradWife Trend 00:00:00 - Dad Things00:00:00 - American Stand Up & Storytelling00:00:00 - White Loyalty & Wu-Tang Favors00:00:00 - Just Dudes Telling Dudes Stories00:00:00 - Temptation Island Spain00:00:00 - Aaron The Plumber Fights People00:00:00 - Sam's Tailor00:00:00 - Wrap Up00:00:00 - Closing Song - "WTF Is Eco-Sex" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

YMH Live is back and better than ever! Tune in March 7th at https://livestream.ymhstudios.com/ Touch our camera through the fence, chomos!SPONSORS:- Ready to take control of your money? Head to https://acorns.com/YMH or download the Acorns app to get started.- Trade is exclusively offering our listeners 40% off your first order at https://drinktrade.com/YMH.On this special episode of Your Mom’s House, we celebrate 800 episodes of the podcast that birthed Studio Jeans. On today’s show, we take a look at some highlights from the last one hundred episodes such as Fart Gate, Nadav’s passing, Stavros reacting to Norm’s poutine, and the Enny vs Ryan basketball rivalry. We also look back at Dan Soder’s Chapelle impression, Caitlin Campbell’s daily vlog, ICP’s YKWIS supercut. Other topics include: Garth Brooks, Robert Smith, Bryce Mitchell, Andy Milonakis, Candace Owens, and Alec Baldwin’s new reality show. Here’s to 800 more! Enjoy.Your Mom’s House Ep. 800https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcastChapters 00:00:00 - Intro00:05:29 - Opening Clip: Footjob Review 00:09:17 - Clip: Be Young & Ruin Things00:14:18 - YMH Civil War: Ryan Vs Enny00:28:05 - Stavros Reacts to Norm's Poutine00:31:50 - Garth Brooks, Dan Soder's Chapelle Impression, & Robert Smith00:39:15 - Nadav's Passing & Caitlin Campbell00:46:14 - ICP YKWIS Supercut & Airtight Abby00:50:28 - Fart Gate00:58:44 - Ice Cold Pepsi, Bad Haircuts, & Bryce Mitchell01:09:48 - Alec Baldwin Reality TV & Candace Owens01:17:09 - Episode 800 Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices