I'd Rather Be Reading

Today we’ve got another necessary conversation for so many of us — we’re talking with Dr. Ellen Hendriksen about her new book How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists, which came out January 7. It turns out, perhaps not surprisingly, that feeling a lack of enoughness is a widespread problem, and Ellen’s book taught me so much about perfectionism — including that I apparently am one, even though I never would have thought that of myself. Perfectionism, as Ellen writes, can be used for good — it can help us have high standards, a strong work ethic, reliability, and a deep care of others — but it can also be used for ill, especially when it comes to our relationship with ourselves. Today on the show we explore the link between perfectionism and never feeling good enough; we talk about clinical perfectionism and where it stems from; how to stop putting our self-worth in the wrong places; seven shifts we can take to feel more enough; and so much more. Ellen has a Ph.D. from UCLA and completed her training at Harvard Medical School; she is a clinical psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders and, in addition to How to Be Enough, she also wrote How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. You might have seen her work everywhere from The New York Times to The Washington Post, BBC News, New York Magazine, Harvard Business Review, Psychology Today, Scientific American, The Guardian, Goop, O: The Oprah Magazine, and more, and she’s here to help us stop being so hard on ourselves already.  How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists by Dr. Ellen Hendriksen

Today I am thrilled to have on the show Israa Nasir to talk about her book Toxic Productivity: Reclaim Your Time and Emotional Energy in a World That Always Demands More, which came out November 19. Israa is a psychotherapist, speaker, and the founder of the mental health brand WellGuide, a digital community for mental health awareness. I love getting her WellGuide Substack, so make sure to subscribe to “The Well Guide” if you love this book and this conversation, which I know you will. Her work is centered on transforming the way we talk about mental health, taking it from a place of shame to a place of empowerment. You may have seen her work on NBC or in Teen Vogue, Huffpost, or Vox, and she’s been invited to speak everywhere from Google to Meta to Yale. We know anecdotally what productivity is, but what is toxic productivity? It’s something Israa has battled herself, as have I. Today on the show we not only define toxic productivity but healthy productivity, as well, and what that might look like; how we can separate a false sense of urgency from a true sense of urgency; that multitasking is not possible for the human mind; and how so many of us are using productivity as a barometer of self-worth and as a way to meet our emotional needs — and how this will never serve us. There is also a connection between shame and toxic productivity I think you’ll be really interested to hear about.  Toxic Productivity: Reclaim Your Time and Emotional Energy in a World That Always Demands More by Israa Nasir

As we continue our ongoing, sporadic time management series, we’re chatting today with Maria Bowler, the author of Making Time: A New Vision for Crafting a Life Beyond Productivity, which came out January 21. In the book, Maria writes that we are a culture obsessed with productivity — but in Making Time, she argues that our to do lists are just a distraction. In our conversation today, we talk about what we’re distracting ourselves from; how we should act from our being rather than our doing; how important it is to tap into our creativity and that the opposite of productivity isn’t necessarily doing less, but being more creative; and so much more, including that we should make time rather than manage time. Even if you don’t consider yourself a creative, Maria asserts that there’s a place for you; we also discuss breaking out of the productivity cycle so many of us are trapped in, and I’m excited for you to hear the conversation. A little bit about Maria — she is a writer, coach, and retreat leader, a graduate of Yale, and a former magazine editor who has taught creative writing at the university level. Take a listen to our conversation. Making Time: A New Vision for Crafting a Life Beyond Productivity by Maria Bowler

I recently had the great honor and pleasure of chatting with legendary sports broadcaster Chris Myers, whose book That Deserves a Wow: Untold Stories of Legends and Champions, Their Wins and Heartbreaks came out last November 19. This book is part memoir and part time capsule of some of the highlight reel of sports moments over the past few decades, as Chris has truly seen it all. Chris is an Emmy-winning FOX Sports broadcaster who in That Deserves a Wow takes us behind the scenes for his 1998 live interview with O.J. Simpson, the first of its kind after his bombshell murder case — and he tells us why he still has never watched it back. He was also there for NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt’s tragic death in 2001, and Chris talks about his storied career, moments in sports he couldn’t believe he was a part of, and his friendship with Bill Murray, who wrote the foreward for the book. Chris also tells us some of his best career advice, including my favorite nugget, “Every night is the Super Bowl.” One doesn’t have to be a sports broadcaster to adopt that philosophy into their own careers. I spoke with Chris, actually, the day after my father’s death; I canceled other interviews but kept his because I knew Chris would understand if I wobbled in the interview. He too knows grief well — in the book he talks about the tragic death of his son Christopher, taken far too soon. Chris is definitely one of the good guys, and has a career spanning over four decades — including 30 years at major networks — as a play-by-play announcer, reporter, and studio host, covering the NFL, MLB, NASCAR, and basketball at both the NCAA and NBA levels. Chris has covered multiple Super Bowls and World Series and has written a really powerhouse book. That Deserves a Wow: Untold Stories of Legends and Champions, Their Wins and Heartbreaks by Chris Myers

Today on the show we’re talking about a fascinating topic — how to unlearn the idea of being a so-called “good mom.” We’re chatting today with Nancy Reddy, author of The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom, which comes out January 21 and helps us unwind, as the title suggests, “the good mother myth” and myths we’ve been told over the years about what it means to be quote-unquote “good” in the mom department. In this book, Nancy presents so much science-backed advice when it comes to parenting; in today’s episode we talk about whether she sees parenting as an art, a science, or a little bit of both; so-called “mom guilt” and why it’s so pervasive; why “the good mother myth” is wrong, but seductive nonetheless; how suffocating expectations put on mothers can be, and how it makes mothers feel like they’re not good enough (which is a fallacy); how so many ideas of motherhood are antiquated and no longer serve us; and so much more. In addition to The Good Mother Myth, Nancy also wrote the poetry collections Pocket Universe and Double Jinx, which was a winner of the National Poetry Series, and alongside Emily Pérez, Nancy is the co-editor of The Long Devotion: Poets Writing Motherhood. Nancy’s essays have appeared everywhere from Slate to Romper, Poets & Writers, The Millions, and elsewhere, and in addition to teaching writing at Stockton University, she writes the newsletter “Write More, Be Less Careful.” Take a listen to our really compelling conversation. The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom by Nancy Reddy

Birmingham, Alabama — also known as The Magic City — is a major part of my story. I lived there for nearly 11 years, from January 2013 until December 2023; my husband is from there and I met my husband there; and, living there from age 26 to 37, it was part of my formative years as an adult. During my time in Birmingham, I worked in communications at the economic development organization the Birmingham Business Alliance, where I had the opportunity to meet Birmingham’s mayor, Randall Woodfin, on a number of occasions. Sometimes those in office are one way in front of the cameras and a completely different person when the cameras are off; Mayor Woodfin was always kind, gracious, generous, and a genuinely good person — the real deal — even if it was just the two of us in a room. Mayor Woodfin won election as mayor in 2017 in a bit of a David and Goliath type victory over longtime Birmingham political mainstay William Bell; he has been in office ever since. Now, on January 21, he is coming out with a memoir, aptly titled Son of Birmingham: A Memoir, about his life, leadership, and, fascinatingly, his love of Outkast. As I tell Mayor Woodfin in this episode, we all deserve someone that loves us as much as he loves Outkast. Mayor Woodfin truly is a son of Birmingham and, having been in office since 2017, has seen the city through some difficult times, not the least of which is COVID-19. In this episode he talks about the modern day Birmingham and what the public still gets wrong about it; about being the youngest mayor in Birmingham’s modern history; what it was like to win the mayoral election over seven years ago; some of the toughest situations he’s faced in office; about answering the call to serve; and about his life as a husband and father now. A native of Birmingham, Mayor Woodfin attended Morehouse College and then returned to Birmingham, working at City Hall in jobs for the mayor and the City Council and for the Jefferson County Committee on Economic Opportunity. He attended the Cumberland School of Law at Samford University and, after obtaining his law degree, took on a job in the City of Birmingham Law Department. Outside of his work as an assistant city attorney, he was a political organizer, working on campaigns at the local, state, and federal level. After serving on the Birmingham Board of Education, he ran for mayor and is now in his second term in office, seeking a third in 2025. He was also a featured speaker at the 2020 Democratic National Convention. I will always, always have such an affinity for Birmingham, and for Mayor Woodfin, too. Son of Birmingham: A Memoir by Mayor Randall Woodfin

Earlier this week we spoke about romantic relationships, and today we’re turning the focus to friendships — which are equally as important to a life. I have been so, so fortunate throughout my life to have the best of the best when it comes to friendships, both female and male, and I personally know — as I’m sure so many of you do — what friendship can add to a life. Our surgeon general Dr. Vivek Murthy, whose work I really appreciate and admire, has spoken at length in the past few years about the epidemic of loneliness, and we’re learning more than ever how important human connection is. When I read our guest today Danielle Bayard Jackson’s book Fighting for Our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women’s Relationships, which came out last year on May 7, I knew I had to have her on the show. Danielle is doing really fantastic work in this space, and today on the show she tells us how she became a friendship coach and expert; how, in her words, “Female friendship is a wellness essential” (and I agree); that friendship is the great equalizer and that, just like with romantic relationships, we’re all figuring it out when it comes to friendship; how to prioritize friendship when marriage, children, and work are so demanding of our attention; how to not just maintain friendships but even make new friendships as an adult; three principles that bind us together as friends; friendship breakups and how to grieve that loss; the best piece of “friendship wisdom” she’s ever heard; and so much more. Danielle has become a go-to expert on the subject of women’s friendship, and has shared her insight everywhere from The New York Times to Good Morning America, NBC News, Essence, NPR, Psychology Today, and The Harvard Business Review. As you’ll hear her talk about as she shares more about her journey, Danielle was a former high school teacher who is now leveraging her education background to study the latest research on women’s cooperation, communication, and conflict, and delivers practical, research-based strategies for women who are looking to create and maintain better platonic relationships (and I think this work will speak to men, too). Danielle speaks to major companies like the NFL, the NBA, TikTok, Etsy, and more about this subject, and she is the founder of Friend Forward and hosts and produces a podcast of the same name. She is a fellow Floridian and has worked closely with Bumble as its resident friendship expert. She more than knows what she’s talking about. Let’s learn from her. Fighting for Our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women’s Relationships by Danielle Bayard Jackson

This week on the show, we’re going to be talking about some of our most important relationships — our romantic relationships and our platonic relationships. Today on the show we have the relationship expert herself, Jillian Turecki, to talk about her new book It Begins with You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life, which comes out January 14. As Jillian puts it in the book, no matter where your love life is at today, “you hold the key to the change you want to see in your love life”; she also writes that “you’re not broken or doomed to be alone forever or forever unhappy in your love life.” It Begins with You, Jillian writes, “is about creating change” and, as the title suggests, it all starts with us, as, in her words, the “relationship we have with ourselves is the most important relationship we’ll ever have.” In today’s episode we go through each of the nine truths — parking on some more intently than others — and how we all have work to do in our romantic lives, as, in Jillian’s words, “we all have patterns that do not serve our romantic lives, and we’re all working on something.” Jillian talks about the myth of “the one”; how when we grow, the kind of people we are attracted to evolves, too, which is why it’s so important to do the work on ourselves; what it actually means to love yourself and if you have to fully love yourself to attract the right partner; and so much more. We are all capable of being in a relationship that we deserve, and Jillian — who is a beloved relationship coach, teacher, and host of the top relationship podcast “Jillian on Love” — will help us get there. Let me tell you — I wish I’d read Jillian’s book a decade ago. I probably could have skipped a lot of relationships that didn’t serve me. In addition to her hit podcast, Jillian also has a huge social media community and a newsletter, “Love Weekly,” which reaches millions of people who are looking for help in this area of their lives. Through her work with Jillian Turecki Coaching, Jillian works with individuals and couples through transformative workshops, courses, and one-on-one coaching sessions, and she has done this work for over 20 years. I can’t wait for you to hear from her. It Begins With You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life by Jillian Turecki

When you think of the word “audacity,” what comes to mind? Honestly, for most of us, it’s probably a negative connotation — as in, how do they have the audacity to do that? In her new book Cultivating Audacity: Dismantle Doubt and Let Yourself Win, Emmy Award-winning sports broadcaster Anne Marie Anderson is looking to reframe the word “audacity” into a positive, and something we all should be doing: being audacious enough to go for the big dream, the big goal, the big life. As she writes in Cultivating Audacity, which came out on January 1, “When the pain of staying the same is greater than the fear of change, it’s time to cultivate audacity.” In this book and in this conversation, Anne Marie teaches us about decision making, and how to take calculated risks — not reckless risks — to get to the life we want. Inspired by the sudden passing of a colleague at just 37 years old — and right before her eyes — Anne Marie teaches us that we have no idea how much time we have left, and how imperative it is to just go for it — whatever “it” is to you. I know this is true in my own life, and I guarantee it is for you, too — there is something you want to do in your life, be it in your personal life or your professional life, that is gnawing at you. A calling that just won’t go away. This book will get you over the line and encourage you to follow that calling and to take bold risks. In today’s episode, Anne Marie talks us through four questions that will help us start focusing our intentions; introduces us to four big barriers to doing this work and how to overcome them; teaches us about the contemplations Cs and how they can help us; and, I think these are two of the most fascinating concepts she talks about, introduces us to “ikigai” and what it means to have a “front row” in your life — and how important that is. This conversation left me fired up to go and live the life I was meant to. Here to walk us through it all is Anne Marie Anderson, a three-time Emmy Award winning sports broadcaster, keynote speaker, and author. Anne Marie has spent more than three decades in sports television both behind and in front of the camera and has covered six Olympic Games, NBA and MLB playoffs, the Super Bowl, heavyweight title fights, golf majors, and countless other events. Anne Marie has lived out Cultivating Audacity in her own life, giving up a producer role for ESPN’s SportsCenter at their headquarters in Connecticut and moving across the country to California; ESPN ultimately offered her a contract after that move that ended up more than doubling her salary. Soon she began to examine other areas of her life she wanted to change and challenge the status quo, and Cultivating Audacity was born. Anne Marie is one of the most experienced play-by-play announcers in the business, calling plays for ESPN, ABC, NBC, Fox, and TBS, and doing so in a very male-dominated business. Who said audacity had to have a negative connotation, anyway? Cultivating Audacity: Dismantle Doubt and Let Yourself Win by Anne Marie Anderson

Today we have an inside look into life in the Ford White House thanks to Bob Barrett’s new book Inside the President’s Team: Family, Service, and the Gerald Ford Presidency, which comes out January 7. In this book, Bob — who was one of President Ford’s most trusted advisers — gives us a behind-the-curtain view of the Ford presidency as, second to Gerald Ford’s wife Betty Ford, no one was closer to the president during his administration than Bob Barrett. Bob carried the “nuclear football” of the American nuclear codes, and literally couldn’t let President Ford out of his sight. This led to a deep friendship with the First Family and gave Bob an inside look into the administration, which, born through President Nixon’s resignation over Watergate, will always hold a unique place in history. In Inside the President’s Team, we go inside the White House and inside the First Family in a way we’ve never really seen before. I want to pause here and say that I loved the insights on First Lady Betty Ford — you all know I love to study First Ladies, and she is one of my favorites. Inside the President’s Team talks about why Ford decided to pardon Nixon for Watergate, and how he responded to criticism over his decision; what happened during the two assassination attempts on President Ford; and even about Betty Ford’s intervention. President Ford was, as Bob puts it, “the most decent, honorable, trustworthy person I ever met.” Now, Bob actually passed away in 2022, so we have today on the show his son Nils Barrett to talk about his father and this remarkable book. We chat about how the Ford presidency already is remembered to history 50 years later and how it might be remembered 50 years from now; who both Bob Barrett and Gerald Ford were at their core; and how Bob continued serving Ford after his time in office ended, helping develop the Gerald R. Ford Museum in Grand Rapids, Michigan, the Ford Presidential Library in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and the Betty Ford Center for drug and alcohol rehabilitation in Rancho Mirage, California. Ultimately, this book celebrates living a life of service, and Bob himself served two tours in Vietnam with the U.S. Army and attained the rank of major. He worked at the United States Army War College as its Public Affairs and Communications officer and was offered the role of military aid to President Ford at the start of his administration — hence the nuclear football. I can’t wait for you to get to know him through the eyes of his son.  Inside the President’s Team: Family, Service, and the Gerald Ford Presidency by Bob Barrett