Live Inspired Podcast with John O'Leary

“History teaches us that unity is strength, and cautions us to submerge and overcome our differences in the quest for common goals.” -Haile Selassie While the tradition of Thanksgiving began around 1621, it wasn't declared a national holiday for another 242 years. And why is this significant? In 1863, Abraham Lincoln was President in the middle of the Civil War, a chaotic crisis with profound divisiveness and great uncertainty of our nation. It was then he declared a day to pause and give thanks for the many blessings in our lives that we share. In a season where it’s easy to further build the walls that divide us, tune in to hear three simple tips that will allow us to focus on the things that unify, bind and heal. SHOW NOTES: Read Abraham Lincoln’s Thanksgiving Proclamation here. Three ways to build connections: Own the conversation from the start. And I’m not suggesting to get the first word in, be more adamant, and set the stage for winning the debate. Instead, start conversations by speaking (or silently if you prefer!) these words: “I love you. And, no, there is nothing you can do about it.” Actively listen as if they are the only person. Busy with the unimportant, we lessen our ability to connect in positive ways with our children (negatively affecting their self-esteem), with our partners (negatively affecting intimacy and connectivity), and with ourselves (negatively affecting our sense of who we are and what actually matters). Be passionately curious as if their opinion actually matters... because it does! Ask elucidating questions if you need clarifying information or perspective from another point of view. This allows for the opportunity to elaborate, be heard, educate and perhaps even persuade another. Far from dividing, it actually serves as an awesome opportunity to unite. If you enjoyed today's episode, you'll love learning the longstanding tradition Live Inspired community member Rona’s family does before their Thanksgiving meal. Listen to ep. 206 here.

Death is the destiny of everyone, and the living must take this to heart. - Ecclesiastes Today, join me in celebrating those we've lost by living passionately alive. Knowing that tomorrow is not promised, let’s actively, vibrantly, faithfully and joyfully live this day. And let’s keep those enduring heartache both in our prayers and memorialize them through the manner in which we lead our lives.

We all have stories, and yet frequently, they're not the ones we share with the world. After being burned on 100% of my body, spending five and a half months in the hospital and losing my fingers to amputation, my dream was not to stand out, but to disappear and be ordinary. Bonnie Gray spent 39 years hiding her story, too. Growing up as the Chinese American daughter of a mail-order bride and a busboy in San Francisco's Chinatown, Bonnie's childhood was far from idyllic. Join us as Bonnie shares the journey that led to understanding her own identity and what it means to be loved. Today's episode is a reminder that in boldly owning, embracing and celebrating our stories, we are gifted the chance to live authentically and breathe life and possibility into others. SHOW NOTES Bonnie's mother was sent from Hong Kong to America to marry a man 10 years older and serve the family. An unintentional vow: After Bonnie's father left, she made an unintentional vow to not ask about things she cannot change and stay quiet unless she&s able to add peace and joy. Without support from her parents, other mentors in Bonnie's life helped shine a light on her full potential, provide support and guide her forward. l'm here for you. After being assaulted, Bonnie's former youth counselor gave her comfort + security. All of us have a defining moment where something happened that we did not plan. We long for love. Were tempted to hide our brokenness. I carried that until I realized that sharing my story is going to draw others closer. Amidst life difficulties, Bonnie's place of safety was her journal because using words was the key to unlocking her heart. Her future husband Eric captured her heart with a month-long series of emails. Bonnie shares an excerpt from Sweet Like Jasmine depicting a toxic conversation she had with her mother. Learn more about Bonnie on her website here. Get a copy of Bonnie Gray's book Sweet Like Jasmine here. If you enjoyed today's episode, you'll love Brian Walsh. At 17 years old, Brian found himself clinging to life after being caught in a burning building. His hard-won resilience + tenacity will shift your perspective and help you see how you, too, can overcome the obstacles in your life today. Listen to Brian Walsh on ep. 272. BONNIE GRAY'S LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. The Color of Water by James McBride. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. My artistic self. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. My journals. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be?  A. Jesus. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?  A. Whenever I feel lost, I try to embrace that I'm right where I need to be. Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self?  A. Choose your path now. Don't edit yourself. You cannot live someone else's story. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read?  A. You are beloved.

“The wise do not lay up their own treasures. The more they give to others, the more they have for themselves.” — Lao Tzu My friends, what should we do with the gifts we’ve received? How should we use our treasures? What do we do with all the trophies we collect? For three decades, I’ve stored a bunch of them on a shelf in my house. Maybe it’s time to stop laying up our treasures. Maybe the truly rich are aware that the more they give to others, the more they have for themselves.

One of my favorite groups to partner with each year is FOCUS Marines Foundation. FOCUS does an amazing job providing coping skills, relationship guidance, goal creation and career advancement to wounded veterans struggling with physical ailments, PTSD, traumatic brain injuries and various other challenges.   Among the remarkable servants I’ve met through this organization is retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant Nick Popaditch. Wounded in action, Nick was struck in the head by an enemy rocket-propelled grenade (RPG), resulting in numerous shrapnel wounds to the head and neck which left him legally blind and partially deaf in his right ear. In honor of Veteran's Day, Nick joins us to share his inspirational story of courage, combat and recovery. SHOW NOTES: Nick Popaditch earned numerous military awards including a Silver Star and Purple Heart. "If you don't quit on us, we will never quit on you." The power of inertia: The greatest difficulty always arises in the beginning. As a drill sergeant, Nick learned that everything was trained in the antithesis. Courage was trained by fear, honor by unfair treatment and commitment by failing. April 9, 2003: An AP photographer captures a striking image seen around the world of Nick smoking a victory cigar in his tank with the haunting statue of Saddam Hussein hovering in the background, immortalizing him forever as "The Cigar Marine." April 6, 2004: During the battle for Fallujah, Nick suffers grievous head wounds that leave him legally blind and partially deaf. Nick and his wife April would sign every letter during his multiple deployments with Romans 1:11: For I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith. Learn more about FOCUS Marines Foundation here. Get a copy of Nick Popaditch's book Once a Marine here. If you enjoyed this episode, Hear from award-winning actor Gary Sinise. As one of America’s favorite, heart-led leaders Gary shares lessons on gratitude, service, and how his role in Forrest Gump as Lt. Dan led him to celebrate America’s defenders, veterans, and first responders. Listen to Gary Sinise on ep. 128. GYSGT NICK POPADITCH'S LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. It Doesn't Take a Hero by General Norman Schwarzkopf. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. Be positively motivated just because. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. My drill instructor hat called a Campaign Cover. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be?  A. Avigdor Kahalani, an Israeli battalion commander, who saved the entire country of Israel in the Valley of Tears. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?  A. My father told me to treat people with respect and hold them accountable. Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self?  A. I wouldn't change a thing. Every mistake made me who I am now. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read?  A. I'd like it to say, "the world was a better place because I was here."

“Out of difference can come the reinforcement of two important values. One is tolerance and the other is awareness that people who disagree over the things they hold dear really can live together in love and respect.” - Fred Rogers Arguments and disagreements are part of all relationships. But the negativity so often echoed during them doesn’t have to be. On today's Monday Moment, join me as I share five comments we’d all be far better never muttering. A divided nation might benefit from this reminder today. But the citizens must first recognize it begins not in DC, but in their personal relationships.

Acclaimed happiness expert Shawn Achor reminds us that it’s in the darkest times that we need optimism, gratitude and social connection the most. After 12 years of earning dozens of distinguished teaching awards at Harvard University, Shawn became a New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Advantage and Big Potential, delivered a TEDx with over 19 million views and has worked with over 30 Fortune 100 companies. As we celebrate a season of thankfulness, today's conversation will give you the tools to approach today, tomorrow and every day going forward with gratitude, optimism and happiness. SHOW NOTES: Expectations affect gratitude: Quickly, Shawn recognized that many of his peers’ expectations were met in attending Harvard and didn’t experience the same level of gratitude because his acceptance was not expected. Rather than embracing the gift of the moment, we often are too focused on looking forward.  While doing research on Harvard, Shawn saw that success wasn’t yielding happiness because your brain adjusts to what the goal is. Does success = happiness? If people become happier, raise their gratitude for the present, deepen social networks or raise their levels of optimism, then success rates rise dramatically. “Happiness during good times is more of a luxury item. When things get difficult, happiness has an even more beneficial effect.” “In the darkest times is when we need optimism, gratitude and social connection the most.” “Happiness is not irrational optimism.” “Optimism allows your brain to be the most adaptive possible when the negative occurs.” Rational optimism: starts with a realistic assessment of the present but maintains the belief that eventually my behavior will matter if linked to the right people. While teaching and researching happiness, Shawn courageously shared he was battling depression. While battling depression, Shawn learned that the majority of our happiness is interconnected with each other. In his book Big Potential, Shawn shares groundbreaking University of Virginia research on how our very perception of reality is transformed by the presence of others. If someone who is genetically predisposed to pessimism can make small tweaks to their day, they can experience impactful change. Three practical tips to increase optimism, happiness and social connectivity:  Each day, practice scanning for 3 new things that happened in the last 24 hours that you’re grateful for. When anything positive happens, jot it down on a piece of paper, throw them in a bowl and read back through them at a later date. Take a few minutes to send a positive message, email or text to someone which will create a ripple effect and a reciprocal loop. “Happiness is not the belief that we don’t need to change; it is the realization that we can.” Get Shawn Achor’s New York Times bestselling books Big Potential, The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness. SHAWN ACHOR’S LIVE INSPIRED 7 1. What is the best book you’ve ever read? The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. 2. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? Confidence. 3. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A broken guitar that I love. 4. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be? C.S. Lewis. He’s been the biggest influence in my life and who I’ve modeled my career after. 5. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?  My mentor Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar said, “You’re never as great as you think you are and you’re never as bad as you think you are.” 6. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? Make friends. If you want friends, you have to be a friend. Don’t let loneliness and insecurities stop you from feeling socially connected. 7. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read?  He made other people feel understood and that happiness was actually possible.

After finishing dinner last Sunday, the boys asked if we could all see a movie. They knew their grandpa wanted to see the new James Bond movie and asked if we could take him to it. And so, for the first time since February of 2020, we visited a movie theater. The last 20 months have reminded all of us of the unpredictability and fragility of life. If we’ve been living intentionally, though, they’ve also served as a powerful reminder that although we can’t always choose the path we walk in life, we are absolutely free to choose the manner in which we walk it.

Amanda Gore is a global teacher of joy and one of only four Australians inducted into the Speaker Hall of Fame. As one of the most admired speakers, Amanda's action-packed presentations are rooted in science-based tools to equip others to better handle change and create deep, lasting relationships with customers, colleagues and families. Today Amanda joins us for a thought-provoking conversation about addressing our core fears, discovering who we are at our essence and her own personal journey in embracing stillness to better understand her authentic self. SHOW NOTES: At the start of Covid, Amanda credits the work of Dr. David Martin that led her to dive deeply into her essence. Learn more about Dr. Martin’s work here. Core fears: I’m not good enough or I’m not worth loving. I’m unsafe in some way. Fear of separation. “As a toddler, I told myself I was responsible for my mother’s happiness.” True north question: Am I being the person I want to be in this moment? “We teach best what we need to learn.” As Amanda is focusing on the small steps to feel all ranges of emotion, she’s learning the value in stillness. Sparkly bits: How is our nonverbal communication being perceived by those around us. From Tom Kenyon’s The Great Human Potential, Amanda asks herself: What is it that I, as a being, am learning from this experience? I’m not driving myself to achieve. I’m opening my heart and now choosing to dive deeply into who I really am. Get a copy of Amanda Gore's book Joy is an Inside Job here. AMANDA GORE'S LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. Lizards Eat Butterflies by David Martin. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. Kindness. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. They’re just things. Maybe photos or books but it’s the feeling of sanctuary of my home I’d miss. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be?  A. Dr. David Martin Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?  A. What, as a being, am I learning from this experience? Am I being the person I want to be in this moment? Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self?  A. Learn how to return to your core essence of love + connection and enjoy the great range of experiences. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read?  A. She tried really hard and learned a lot.

“Conversation means being able to disagree and still continue the discussion."  ― Dwight MacDonald Is it possible that rather than avoiding discussions around faith and spirituality, we might actually benefit from choosing to listen, prod, ask, debate, disagree and have healthy, constructive and mutually enriching conversations together?