Live Inspired Podcast with John O'Leary

My sweet Mom passed out in the shower last Friday evening. After fainting, she fell backwards, landed hard on the floor, and broke her wrist. As it turns out, she collapsed as the result of anemia and low hemoglobin, which required a few days of observation in the hospital to elevate.    In a surreal coincidence, her room is on the exact same floor as --and stunningly just three doors away from-- the entrance to the Burn Center where I was treated 35 years earlier.    My friends, we often cheapen our ability to positively influence another human being because we don't have the right status, don’t feel we are enough or worry we lack the proper words.    Today I share a reminder that it’s not having the right words that elevate the life of a friend who is struggling. It’s having the courage to show up, the willingness to be present and the audacity to simply listen.

Did you know... Two-thirds of Americans report feeling lonely, and that's even before the pandemic. The average American hasn’t made a new friend in the last five years. Loneliness is as toxic as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Today, psychologist and friendship expert Dr. Marisa Franco shares her research in the science of friendship and the powerful benefits platonic friendships have on our overall wellbeing. In a season of social fragmentation and rampant loneliness, join us as we provide the tools needed to make, maintain and deepen friendships. SHOW NOTES: Struggling after a breakup in her 20s, Marisa built a support system that taught her romantic love was not the only love that mattered. “It’s a gift to give love just as much as it is to receive love.” For friendships to happen, sociologists have determined we need continuous unplanned interaction and shared vulnerably. Research finds that loneliness is as toxic as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Make new friends but keep the old: Assume others like you because if you assume rejection, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. The Liking Gap is the difference between how much we think another person likes us and how much they actually like us. Most people underestimate how much another person liked them and the more self-critical, the more pronounced this is. Friendship networks are shrinking. We are four to five times more likely to have no friends than we were decades ago. Having a trusted confidant is the best way to fight against depression. Embrace vulnerability. The “beautiful mess effect” reminds us that we take a more negative view of our own vulnerability than we do of others and by having the courage to show our vulnerability, we will become more connected with others. When our mental health is suffering, we tend to focus more on ourselves which affects our relationships. In his book Bowling Alone, Robert Putnam finds the television as the biggest culprit for why we disengage with society because it creates pseudo-connection and lethargy. Marisa’s research has taught her the importance of working through problems with friends and recognizing the gift of not only receiving love but giving it. Marisa encourages to meet others with habitual open-mindedness. "Anything you do to better your connection with others will also better your mental health and wellbeing." Five ways to elevate friendships: Assume others like you. Initiate new friendships. Tell your friends how much you love and value them. Be more vulnerable. Try to accept your friends for who they are and not what you think they should be. Interested in being a better friend? Take Dr. Marisa Franco's Friendship Survey here. Due to publish in September, pre-order Dr. Marisa Frano's book Plantonic here. DR. MARISA FRANCO'S LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. All About Love by Bell Hooks. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. The ability to let loose and have fun. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. My laptop because it’s my second brain and has access to all the information I share on friendships. A necklace my brother bought me when we were in a state of conflict. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be? A. Oscar Wilde. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received? A. Trust yourself. Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? A. Feel your feelings. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read? A. She healed people.

What can we gain in living from a place of unconditional love? On this Valentine’s Day, whether you are going on a hot date with your special someone, heading out with dear friends, or longingly waiting for the phone to ring, be reminded of the overwhelming demands true love requires and the profound blessing it delivers in return. Ultimately, the way we discover the love we seek is to let go of our needs, remain absolutely vulnerable in the face of fear, say yes to serving others, allow our hearts to be broken repeatedly and strive diligently to make our lives about something far bigger than ourselves.

Three-time Olympian Devon Harris has achieved his greatness. Starting as a barefoot boy trying to win a track race, Devon became a member of Jamaica’s first Olympic bobsled team. SHOW NOTES: As a young boy living in the slums of Kingston, Jamaica, Devon would stand near a light post to see the people living well-off in the distance and it motivated him to see a brighter future. Your biography is not your destiny. The whining, the complaining the justifying, until you stop that you remain powerless to improve your situation. Wi lickle, but wi tallawah! It means we are small, but we are powerful. This attitude allows us as Jamaicans to consistently punch above our weight class. We simply believe that we can do anything. The original Jamaican bobsled Olympic team in 1988 inspired the Disney film Cool Runnings. Devon competed in 3 Olympics: 1988 in Calgary, 1992 in France and 1998 in Japan. DEVON HARRIS' LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. The Art of Selfishness by David Seabury. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. Persistence. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. A photo collage of my family. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be? A. Fellow Jamaican Sam Sharpe and Nelson Mandela. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received? A. My Army Capitan said, "have a good sense of humor." Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? A. Slow down a little and enjoy the process. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read? A. He was a good father, husband and friend.

After our region was dumped with as much as a foot of ice and snow, I was surprised when a client moved forward with a live, in-person event last week -- although I shouldn’t have been. The name of this fearless organization derives its name from a fearless dog that raced through a blizzard to save lives. My friends, too often we ignore our potential for significance. Because we don’t have the same talent as others, or lack the position in the organization to directly impact outcome, or lack charisma, appearance or resources, we cheapen our ability to dramatically impact others through our lives. In the midst of whatever storm may appear in your life this week, be inspired by today's story. 

For 18 years, Daniel Jones' mission has been to publish honest personal essays about contemporary relationships in his popular New York Times column Modern Love. It has spawned a podcast and a TV series by the same name, all focused on love. Love lost, love found and love reclaimed. Love that’s romantic, familial, platonic and unexpected. Most of all, stories celebrating love as it exists in real life. Today, Dan shares the genesis of Modern Love, some of the most memorable essays and what he's learned from reading hundreds of thousands of complex love stories. ** Learn more at JohnOLearyInspires.com **

When we’ve experienced the sharp disappointment of being let down by others, when is the right time to accept what happened, embrace what is and move forward into what could be? Although debating exactly how long holding onto righteous anger is understandable, the example of Hiroo Onoda demonstrates the dangers of clutching it for too long. What do we do with the sharp disappointment of being let down by others? When is the right time to accept what happened? And when is it appropriate to embrace what is and move forward into what could be? It’s certainly easy to identify the ludicrous foolishness of a Japanese soldier fighting decades after the war had ended. It’s far more difficult, far more important and ultimately far more liberating to acknowledge there are battles in our own lives we no longer need to wage.

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard-trained and published neuroanatomist and author of the New York Times bestselling book My Stroke of Insight.  As irony would have it, at 37 years old, Dr. Jill experienced a severe hemorrhage in the left hemisphere of her brain. Within hours, she lost the ability to walk, talk, read, write, or recall any of her life. Today, Dr. Jill passionately shares her 8-year-long journey to rebuild her brain and recover all physical, emotional, and thinking abilities, in addition to her latest groundbreaking work: Whole Brain Living. Beyond neuroscience, this conversation will teach you how to work with your most powerful ally, your brain, and give you the insight to deepen your inner peace, joy, and fulfillment. SHOW NOTES: After her brother's diagnosis with schizophrenia, Dr. Jill became intrigued with the brain, earning her doctrine in neuroanatomy from Harvard. December 10, 1996: At 37 years old, a blood vessel in Jill's brain exploded and within four hours, was unable to function. Grateful to be alive, Dr. Jill spent eight years recovering her ability to think, walk and talk. With over 30 million views, watch Dr. Jill's popular TED Talk here. The right hemisphere of our brain is in the moment whereas the left hemisphere is more calculated and has linearity of time. Four characters of the brain: Character 1, Left Thinking; Character 2, Left Emotion; Character 3, Right Emotion; and Character 4, Right Thinking. Get a copy of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's New York Times bestselling book My Stroke of Insight here and Whole Brain Living here. After her brother’s diagnosis with schizophrenia, Dr. Jill became intrigued with the brain, earning her doctrine in neuroanatomy from Harvard. December 10, 1996: At 37 years old, a blood vessel in Jill’s brain exploded and within four hours, was unable to function. Grateful to be alive, Dr. Jill spent eight years recovering her ability to think, walk and talk. With over 30 million views, watch Dr. Jill’s popular TED Talk here. The right hemisphere of our brain is in the moment whereas the left hemisphere is more calculated and has linearity of time. Four characters of the brain: Character 1, Left Thinking; Character 2, Left Emotion; Character 3, Right Emotion; and Character 4, Right Thinking. Get a copy of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s New York Times bestselling book My Stroke of Insight here and Whole Brain Living here. DR. JILL BOLTE TAYLOR'S LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. Please Understand Me by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. Play and joy. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. My computer. I have a beautiful portrait of my mother but it's on my computer. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be?  A. An unknown who needed some love. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?  A. Don't believe everything your brain says to you. Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? A. Everything is going to be okay. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read?  A. I want to skid into home base completely used up, completely scarred up, completely messed up because I really lived as I ran the bases of life.

What if the very thing we worry about making us somehow unattractive or unworthy is in reality the very thing that makes us most beautiful and loveable? In a marketplace that celebrates physical perfection and individual accomplishment, one of the last lessons taught by Mother Teresa reminds us what matters most. Learn more about Bill McKendry on Live Inspired Podcast ep. 430 here.

Growing up with parents who were deaf, Bill McKendry has a unique perspective on communication and the power it holds.  In fact, it's what ignited his passion to be a voice and communicator for those who need help.  At the height of his successful 35-year career in advertising and marketing, Bill left a large advertising agency to launch non-profit DO MORE GOOD. Using his expertise from iconic brands including American Express and Target, Bill focuses on magnifying the missions of non-profits to multiply their impact.  Join us for a conversation about using challenges as a way to meet others with empathy, passion and do more good. SHOW NOTES: Do More Good helps to magnify the missions of non-profits and multiply their impact through marketing, communications and branding. Before learning to speak, Bill communicated through American Sign Language with his parents who were deaf since birth. Native to Michigan, Bill fell in love with Colorado at 14 years old and continues to maintain a connection to the area. Do More Good: In 1994, Bill drafted the plan for a world-changing advertising agency that would dedicate at least 50% of its profits to amplify the message of non-profits. If you're going to do good, do great. Pitching early client Mel Trotter Ministries, Bill recognized the power of "big brand campaigns" would have on agencies doing good. Bill shares the moving and memorable experience of meeting Mother Teresa.  Get a copy of Bill McKendry's book Do More Good here. If you enjoyed today’s episode… Hear how Coach Kathy Bresnahan led a grieving high school volleyball team to a state championship. Anyone who has struggled to overcome a challenge in life will appreciate this story of strength and perseverance. Listen to ep. 89 now. BILL MCKENDRY'S LIVE INSPIRED 7 Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read? A. The Bible and Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today? A. Over-the-top optimism. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? A. My laptop. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be?  A. Jesus or C.S. Lewis. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?  A. "Never, never, never give up," by Winston Churchill. Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self? A. I believe every part of my journey was important. I wish I could have gotten a lot more serious about doing more good earlier in my life. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read?  A. He was a man that was willing to do more good.