Attention Different | Adulting with ADHD

Why do New Year’s resolutions fall apart so fast for ADHD brains?What if the problem isn’t motivation, but how we define success?In this Attention Different roundtable, Stephen Tonti, Aaron Smith, and Devin Pitts-Rogers get honest about goals, follow-through, and why “trying harder” rarely works for neurodivergent adults.This wide-ranging, candid conversation digs underneath surface-level habits and into what actually drives consistency: values, identity-based goals, energy management, and focusing on process over outcomes. From abandoned language apps and inconsistent gym routines to bass lessons, injuries, and unrealistic expectations, the group explores why intrinsic motivation isn’t reliable and what does help.✨ Highlights:✔️ Why process goals work better than outcome goals✔️ How values and identity shape sustainable habits✔️ Energy management vs. time management✔️ Why perfectionism quietly kills momentum✔️ Practical tools like habit stacking, accountability, and flexible structure✔️ Why failure isn’t the opposite of progress—it’s part of itThis episode is for anyone who’s ever thought: “I know what I want to do… so why can’t I follow through?”🎧 Listen now and rethink goals, growth, and success on your terms.Send us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

🧠 This is the part where habits get real.Part Two of the Winter Park Fireside Chats goes beyond setting intentions and dives into the hardest ADHD question of all:What actually has to change for this to stick?Around the fire, we talk openly about:Habits that quietly turned self-destructiveRelapse and why it doesn’t mean failureSobriety, substances, and self-compassionWhy consistency is hard… and persistence matters moreHow boundaries (with phones, people, and ourselves) protect energyLetting go of shame without letting go of accountabilityThis episode is all about resetting without spiraling, noticing patterns without judgment, and building habits that support the life you actually want, not the one you think you should want.✨ Highlights:✔️ Why ADHD brains are “consistently inconsistent” and how persistence bridges the gap✔️ How anger, compassion, and fed-up moments can spark real change✔️ The difference between destructive habits and unmet needs✔️ Externalizing support: accountability partners, visual cues, structure that lives outside your head✔️ Why relapse doesn’t erase progress, it clarifies itThis conversation is raw, funny, uncomfortable, and deeply human, just like ADHD itself.💬 If you’ve ever said “I was doing so well… and then I messed it up” — this episode is for you.🎧 Watch Part One & Part Two now on Attention DifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

🔥 New Year. Old Patterns. Real ADHD Conversations.Part 1 of the Winter Park Fireside Chats brings everyday ADHD adults together, in the mountains and without scripts or shame, to talk about what actually happens after the New Year starts.We dig into:Why resolutions fall apartHow burnout sneaks inThe difference between outcome goals and process goalsWhy accountability matters more than motivationAnd how ADHD brains need energy management, not just time managementThis isn’t a “New Year, New You” pep talk, it’s a grounded, honest conversation about resetting without self-punishment, building routines that recharge you, and letting go of all-or-nothing thinking.✨ Highlights:✔️ Why process goals stick when outcome goals don’t✔️ How burnout shows up when life becomes “work → couch → repeat”✔️ The power of saying your goals out loud (even when it’s terrifying)✔️ Why failure isn’t the end—it’s data✔️ How ADHD adults can reset any day, not just January 1\Set in Tabernash, Colorado, high in the Rocky Mountains, this Fireside Chat is a reminder that you’re not broken, you’re not behind, and you don’t have to do this alone.🧠💬 If you’ve ever struggled with follow-through, routines, relapse, or burnout—this conversation is for you.🎧 Watch Part One & Part Two now on Attention DifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 What happens when you build a tool for yourself… and suddenly thousands of ADHDers want it too?In this episode of the Attention Different Podcast, we sit down with Marie Ng — founder of Llama Life, the task management app designed specifically for ADHD brains — to explore her journey from corporate burnout to self-taught developer to accidental entrepreneur.Marie shares how she taught herself to code by watching YouTube videos during the 2020 Melbourne lockdown, originally just trying to build something to help herself manage ADHD time blindness, executive dysfunction, and the never-ending cycle of making lists she couldn't complete.But when she posted an early prototype on Twitter, strangers immediately asked: "Where can I get this?"What started as a personal coding project became Llama Life — a to-do app built around momentum. From open-plan office struggles to a beautiful story about how the ADHD community rallied around her when she needed it most, Marie's story is one of purpose, resilience, and building something that actually serves the brain you have — not the one society expects.✨ HighlightsWhy short timers (1–5 min) work better than 25-minute Pomodoros for ADHD brainsHow Parkinson's Law (work expands to fill the time given) applies to micro-tasksThe genius of total time tracking to prevent overcommitting and shame spiralsWhy she can't "eat the frog" — and why building momentum with small wins is the real secretWhat it's like to run a business while managing RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria), customer criticism, and the emotional weight of building in publicHow body doubling (even virtually through social media accountability) kept her goingThe ADHD tax — when fighting for $2,500 feels harder than just letting it goWhy surrounding yourself with ADHD friends changes everythingHer late adult diagnosis in New York after years of corporate masking, and what radical acceptance looks like now📺 Watch the full episode at YouTube.com/@attentiondifferent🔗 Connect with Marie NgInstagram (Personal): @threehourcoffeeInstagram (Llama Life): @llamalife.coDownload Llama Life: Search "Llama Life" in the iOS App Store or Google PlaySend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 What really happens inside an ADHD relationship, and how do couples break the cycle?In this episode of the Attention Different Podcast, we sit down with Melissa Orlov — leading expert on ADHD-impacted relationships and author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage — to unpack the hidden patterns that shape communication, emotional safety, conflict, and partnership when ADHD is in the mix.Melissa breaks down the core ADHD relationship cycle: how inconsistent executive functioning, forgetfulness, time blindness, and overwhelm collide with a non-ADHD partner’s anxiety, hyper-responsibility, or fear — creating a painful parent–child dynamic that neither partner wants, yet both fall into.From medication safety and car-seat arguments to missed transitions and chore distribution, Melissa brings clarity, compassion, and actionable guidance to the hardest issues couples face.She shows how to shift from “managing your partner’s ADHD” (impossible) → to managing the system together, based on strengths, safety, and radical acceptance.And importantly, she explores the difference between:- Wants- Desires- Deal breakers … and how understanding these distinctions can save a relationship rather than sink it.✨ Highlights✔️ Why ADHD partners don’t “forget on purpose” (and why it still feels personal)✔️ How resentment builds when one partner becomes the “manager”✔️ Why you can’t make your partner change (but you can redesign the system together)✔️ The difference between equal and equitable in household roles✔️ How radical acceptance creates connection, not resignation✔️ Why ownership, not control, is the foundation of healthy partnershipThis episode is for anyone who’s ever asked: “Is this a relationship problem… or an ADHD pattern I don’t understand yet?”📺 Watch the full conversation with Melissa Orlov on Attention Different YouTube:👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

Lindsay Pitre, a director, producer, and lifelong ADHDer, shares her journey navigating ADHD since her teens. She discusses the struggle of understanding which habits, like her beloved Diet Coke, are comforting yet potentially harmful. Lindsay highlights the emotional anchors behind impulsive behaviors and the crucial need for self-compassion during relapse. With humor and honesty, she explores the importance of support systems and the challenge of masking in social settings, offering insights into healthier coping mechanisms.

💡 Sometimes the most effective way to stay consistent with ADHD is to gamify your routines so progress feels rewarding, not punishing.In this episode of Late, Not Less, host Devin Pitts-Rogers sits down with Casey Henderson—humanist, autodidact, disabled veteran, and proud ADHD enthusiast—to explore how adults with ADHD can create structure through external systems, gamification, and intentional strategy rather than willpower or shame.Casey shares how rediscovering his ADHD diagnosis in adulthood reframed everything, from financial planning and energy management to how he sets goals, stays consistent, and navigates chronic pain. Together, they break down why neurodivergent adults thrive when structure is visible, playful, and self-designed.Together, Devin and Casey unpack how ADHD shows up in daily life, from work and relationships to caffeine habits, market obsession, and the art of staying grounded in an overstimulated world.✨ Highlights ✨ ☑️ Why ADHD adults thrive with externalized systems and gamified goals. ☑️ How pain, distraction, and ambition coexist in neurodivergent lives. ☑️ The overlap between ADHD focus patterns and financial strategy. ☑️ Why “long-term play” thinking can be an ADHD strength. ☑️ The power of radical acceptance and finding peace with imperfection.More than an ADHD story, this is a reminder to build systems that work for your brain, not the one the world expects from you.📺 Watch the full episode of Late, Not Less on Attention Different YouTube: 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

Join Sam Pitts-Rogers, an HR professional diagnosed with ADHD at 38, as she navigates the complexities of self-care and avoidance. Sam shares her experiences with late diagnosis, the unique ways ADHD manifests in women, and her goal of building a more connected community. Delve into the pitfalls of rationalizing avoidance as self-care and the power of saying yes to new experiences. With insights on process goals and radical acceptance, she emphasizes that progress isn’t always linear—but every step counts.

Join Dr. Ari Tuckman, a psychologist and author specializing in adult ADHD, as he shares practical strategies for converting intentions into actions. He delves into the art of pre-deciding to tackle temptations, managing shame spirals, and understanding the psychological aspects of ADHD. Discovery awaits as Ari explains how acknowledging discomfort can lead to long-term goals and why typical self-rationalizations can derail productivity. With his trademark humor and insight, he provides relatable wisdom for anyone navigating ADHD.

💡 Why are so many adults suddenly getting diagnosed with ADHD, and what does it mean for our future?Today, hosts Stephen Tonti and Aaron Smith dive into one of the biggest mental health shifts of our time: the massive rise in adult ADHD diagnoses since the pandemic.From telehealth loosening restrictions to TikTok stories going viral, from parents realizing their kids’ struggles mirrored their own to women reporting symptoms at historic rates—the numbers are staggering. New adult ADHD diagnoses rose 53.8% between 2019 and 2021, with women seeing an 84% increase, and adults aged 30-45 experiencing a jaw-dropping 91% rise.But behind the stats are lived realities. This episode gets real about:Why ADHD self-disclosure has become normalized (and what’s lost when stigma drops).How telehealth changed the landscape, opening access while raising questions of misdiagnosis.ADHD vs. Autism traits: where they overlap, where they diverge, and what “AuDHD” means for adults today.Emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, and why neurodivergent adults are more vulnerable in chaotic times.The hard truth about boredom, pain, and self-soothing—why ADHDers often struggle with substances and overstimulation.This is more than a conversation about statistics: it’s about identity, community, and what it means to live through an era where ADHD is finally being seen, named, and understood.📺 Watch the full roundtable now on Attention Different YouTube: 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent