Vibrant Happy Women

Got Overwhelm? In this episode Jen challenges you to become more of a minimalist and to begin the process of decluttering so you can have more energy for experiences and people you love.

Ever wish you had more friends who really had your back? In my interview with Lisa-Jo Baker you'll learn the secrets of being a great friend and developing friendships that stand the test of time and distance. Lisa-Jo Baker has been the community manager for (in)courage, an online hoe for women all over the world, for nearly a decade. She's also the author of Surprised by Motherhood and her writings have been syndicated from New Zealand to New York. She lives just outside Washington, DC, with her husband and their 3 very loud kids, where she connects, encourages, and champions women in person and through her blog lisajobaker.com Nuggets of Wisdom from Lisa-Jo: "The shortest distance between strangers and friends is a shared awkward story." "Time is a gift from God...If we really want to connect with our friends, we have to be willing to be inconvenienced. To make time. Because time is the thing we do not always have enough of. I spent the last few years working on this book. So, I have spent a lot of time studying Jesus' model of friendship. And the thing that is so fascinating to me is He was never too busy, and he was constantly interrupted by people." "I think what we do not realize about friendship is if we want it to grow deeper, we have to be willing to be inconvenienced by the people around us. And sometimes that is just our own kids, but I think often on a day to day basis, what it looks like for me now is when a friend calls or messages or texts, the neighbor kids come over and knock at the door when I am making dinner, to open the door, to make time to stop what I think is really busy and important, for the people that are right in front of me. " "I think you have to feed them (friends). They are like plants. They require water and sun and food and all that good stuff. Anytime we are not sowing into our friendship, then it has the opportunity to just kind of wither away." "While it is good to remain intentional and that is what we do, I think it is also important to have an agreed upon breathing room. So what we say in our friendship is that we believe in guilt-free friendship, which means if you have not had time to respond to that email or that message or that group, or you have to miss the last gathering, nobody gets to call you out on it or be mad at you or make you feel guilty or be passive-aggressive towards you. Because friendship cannot live in that kind of atmosphere either. So, say I am looking for a friendship, that I am trying to be a friend, that's not your skinny-jeans version of friendship, but more like your sweat-pants version of friendship. That leaves room to breathe and to connect." "When our friends know us, they love us for who we are, not some version of ourselves we are trying to pretend to be. And so being honest with who we are is a gift that we give our friends. And being in a healthy place and being a friend to ourself first, I really do think is what enables us to be a good friend to others." "It should not be easy to unfriend people... The reality of friendship is that it happens on a slow daily basis between small groups of women who do life together, and that there is such a reward in that." Some of Lisa-Jo's Favorite Things: Personal habit: "I am okay with there being a certain degree of chaos in each of my children's bedrooms, but I need the main living area to be cleared off every night. I cannot handle it if we go to bed with chaos there." Easy meal: "The Four Ingredient Cookbook. Crunchy Oven-Roasted Chicken. Chicken breast covered in smashed up cornflakes and baked in an oven for an hour. " Possession: "Milk Frother - $7. It is a little hand-held one. $10 Stainless-steel milk jug." Lisa-Jo's Favorite Books: "Trilogy: The Riddlemaster of Hed by Patricia A. McKillip" Best advice received: "You think love is a feeling. Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice." Lisa-Jo's Happiness Formula: "I am happiest when I am by myself watching Netflix alone. I am happiest though with a few very good friends who know me inside and out." A Challenge from Lisa-Jo: "What is one thing you could do to be inconvenienced this week for someone else?" Resources Never Unfriended VOXER INCOURAGE.ME Milk Frother Stainless-steel milk jug Trilogy: The Riddlemaster of Hed by Patricia A. McKillip Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:

Want to increase self love, self worth and happiness? Then you've got to let go of that emotional baggage. I tell you how in this Happy Bit. jenriday.com/detox

Orly Wahba found herself feeling shy, lonely and ignored in high school, until one day she looked in the mirror and remembered a dream she'd had as a child to make a difference in the world. She literally changed her personality and life, and began doing everything she could to be the type of friend she'd wished she had in high school. Listen to hear Orly's experiences touching the hearts of 7 years worth of middle school students, creating a viral video that has been watched by 26 million+ people, and what she's doing today to continue to spread this boomerang of kindness. Orly Wahba is an author, speaker, educator, entrepreneur and community activist who began her career in Brooklyn, NY, where she taught Middle School children to embrace unity, build self-esteem, and be an influence for good. She's the founder of Life Vest Inside, a non-profit with a mission to empower people of all backgrounds to lead a life of kindness. LVI shot to national attention when her film, Kindness Boomerang, went viral, landing her a spot on TED. In her spare time Orly loves sports, music, movies, figure skating, and above all, spending time with her family. Nuggets of Wisdom from Orly: "Margarette Mead: Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." "Showing that each and every person makes a difference matters in a huge way. Everybody has something they can contribute." "When a person understands their value, they can now understand the value within each and every person." "To empower people to understand their value, that they matter, that they are significant. And even though they might be one in 7 billion people, the number that matters the most is that they are one. " "So often people do not understand their value. And if you think about it, if you do not understand your value, there is no way you could understand the value of another." "Every single second we have a choice, whether to act or to allow things to pass us by." "When we put something out there positive into the world, the impact and the effects are tremendous, that who we are makes a difference. It does not matter what our job title is but just who we are. That when you walk into the room, you impact people, you affect people. You touch people's lives just by being you. And that is so important to remember." "I believe that any child can learn, any child can succeed. It is just about being able to get through to them, empowering them enough to believe in themselves when they fail. Because a kid that can do well is going to do well, with or without that grade teacher." "I know that you are going to try and push me away. I am one person you are never going to push away." "If you think you cannot do it, you cannot. If you think you dare not, you do not. If you would like to win, and think you cannot, it almost like saying you would not. If you think you lose, you are lost. For out in this world, we find success begins with a fellow's will; it is all in the state of mind. Life's battles do not always go to the stronger or the faster man. For sooner or later, the man who wins is the one who thinks he can." "I am in the job of falling in love with people more and more each day. You cannot see the beauty in others if you do not stop and see the beauty in yourself. You just cannot. Kindness has to begin with you. If you do not love you, if you do not truly believe that you matter, that you make a difference, that you are not your job, or you are not how much you make, or you are not how many followers you have, if you are only going to look at yourself in those ways, if you do not truly love you, outside of those things, then how are you going to love other people?" "Loving yourself and building that confidence is not like a video game. It is not like you finish all the levels and then you won. It is a constant battle. There are days where I feel really low on myself. And that is okay, and that is normal. It is not about always being positive, no one can always be positive. It is not real then. You are allowed to feel down. You have to take ownership of those feelings, but you have to be able to be able pick yourself back up afterwards." "It is very easy to compare ourselves with others, especially in today's world of digital media. When people measure themselves, and measure their value based on numbers (how many followers, how many likes, how many friends..), those things make no difference. It is a facade; it is so fake; what does it mean? It might for the moment make us feel good. But the only person that could really make you feel good about you is you. Happiness comes from you. It comes from inside. If your happiness is going to depend on a person or on a thing, then it is going to be something that will never become attainable because it is going to be something you are constantly chasing. But if it is happiness based on something that is within you, it is based inside of you, then it is a choice that you make every single day. It is not easy. But nothing that is worthwhile is necessarily going to be easy." "Our ability to stay afloat in a world that sometimes seems to be pulling us downward is inside of us. It is through the kindness that we give to others and through the kindness that others give to us that we keep each other afloat in this world because we cannot prevent the obstacles and the mishaps and curve balls from coming our way. They are going to come. But what we can do, what we have the power to do, what is in our ability to do is to throw somebody a life vest. A lifeline of kindness. That even though they are still surrounded by those troubles, they are still surrounded by those waters, that life vest is the difference between life and death. It gives them the hope to know that it is going to be okay. " "...it is not huge gestures, it is the simple things that make the difference. And what we find often is that when we give of ourselves, we actually receive so much more. In a sense, it is like blowing air in our own life vest to keep us strong. When we give, that is the air that we blow into our life vest, making our life vest bigger and stronger, so we can then help others. Because when a person is engaged in active giving or in active kindness, then we feel so good, and there is scientific evidence and proof behind this. We release endorphins. People are less stressed. They live a longer life." "Confidence comes from a place of strength. A person of confidence will make you feel like you matter. They will make you feel included. They will make you feel important. Arrogance comes from weakness. A person of arrogance will make you feel fearful, will make you feel like you are not good enough, will make you feel intimidated. That is the true test." "I had to learn to be okay with being alone and still loving myself." "Use positive energy to propel you forward. Negativity will only lead you down the road of negativity. The more you start looking for good, the more good you are going to see." Some of Orly's Favorite Things: Personal habit: "Prayer is a very big thing for me. That has kept me the most grounded. It is my guiding star. Honestly, through all the hardships." "From Friday night to Saturday night. No phone. No television. No talking about work. No any sort of electric things. It is just being with my family. Being with myself. Connecting to and reflecting on the previous week as to what happened. How I have grown. To have a great time of connectivity and just hanging out with family and playing board games and stuff." Easy meal: "Fish and beans." Possession: "Magic Bullet" Orly's Favorite Books: "The Garden of Emuna: A Practical Guide to Life by Shalom Arush" and "The Secret by Rhonda Byrne" Best advice received: "Believe in myself and to keep pushing forward. And to know that everything happens for a reason." - Dad Orly's Happiness Formula: 1. Recognizing you matter. Self-Value component. Self-Love. 2. Pursuing your passion. 3. Opening yourself up to ways that you can offer a lending hand to others. Giving kindness. Engaging in kindness. A Challenge from Orly: "Catching Kindness cards. The purpose of these kindness cards, when you see somebody doing it--an act of kindness for someone else--you give somebody a card, and it says on it, 'Tag you're it. You have been caught in the act. Now it is your turn to catch someone else in the act.' Exercise your eye muscle, get out there and spot kindness that is happening around you. Not that is happening to you. It is easy to see kindness happening to you, but the more you start becoming aware of kindness that is happening--good things that are happening in the world--a lot more goodness is going to be reflected back to you. Have at least one positive thing a day that you catch people doing for others." Resources Orly's Book: Kindness Boomerang: How to Save the World (and Yourself) Through 365 Daily Acts Life Vest Inside Get Involved Kindness Cards Viral Video: Kindness Boomerang - "One Day" Magic Bullet Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:

Sometimes our lives just don't feel "right." We just feel blah, or angry, or depressed... just plain out of alignment. Instead of viewing this as a horrible thing, what would happen if we can view this as a SIGNAL - an opportunity to make a shift and get things back into alignment. That difficult moment suddenly becomes an opportunity... and a gift. www.jenriday.com/happy55

Megan Tenney shares her experience with forgiveness, choosing to be happy, and taking quality time for what's important, including a bath with a boot, vacation, and playing with her kids. Megan Tenney is the author/owner of ShapingUpToBeAMom.com, where the goal is, "Life, easier. You, happier!" Her mission is to help other busy moms achieve their goals, while sharing her own adventures in parenting, fitness, travel, and checking off her bucket list. Born and raised on the shores of Maine, she relocated after college to the Arizona desert, where she now lives with her husband and four kids: Carter, Vanessa, Harrison, and Melody... All Users Nuggets of Wisdom from Megan: "Just remember, this too shall pass away." "I needed to learn how to forgive someone. That is why I had to go through those experiences." "Your happiness is your own responsibility. You cannot depend on someone else to make you happy." "Be easy on yourself. Don't jump right to feeling guilty for having negative thoughts toward someone. I think, to a certain extent, we can have power over our own feelings, and to a certain extent we cannot. And I think feelings might just come to you, like you get angry or you feel guilty, but then, you can fan the flames of that feeling or you can redirect your thoughts and try to focus on something else. It takes effort and it takes humility." "One of the questions you [Jen] ask, the one that left the most lasting impact on me, was, 'At the end of your life, when you turn around and look back, what do you want to have done, or what do you want people to remember you for?' That made it so clear to me. Family. That is my absolute first priority." Some of Megan's Favorite Things: Personal habit: "It has contributed to my sanity. I take a bath almost everyday. I just relax in the bathtub with a book and I do it almost everyday." Easy meal: "Crockpot meal. So I make a pasta meal with a jar of marinara sauce. I used maybe four fifths of the marinara sauce. And another night, I do English muffin pizzas, and I use the leftover sauce." Possession: "Crockpot. Vitamix." Megan's Favorite Books: "'The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up,' by Marie Kondo, and 'Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment,' by Tal Ben-Shahar." "There are people that only focus on the present, and they do whatever it takes to make them feel good right now. Whether that's a bacon cheese burger, or sitting and watching TV, or whatever it is, and they don't plan for the future, and so they don't plan to be happier in the future. And then there are people that only plan for the future, and they deprive themselves of the moment. They eat only salads, or they work really hard and never take a vacation, and it's all for someday down the road. He [Tal Ben-Shahar] said that the happiest formula is to try to get both of those things, to do, ideally, one thing that will benefit you now and will benefit you later." Best advice received: "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Megan's Happiness Formula: "I am happiest when I am being productive, planning a trip, and ending the day with a bath and a good book." A Challenge from Megan: "Plan a trip. It doesn't have to be Disney World. You don't have to get on a plane. It could be to the other end of town, to a restaurant you have never been to before." Resources ShapingUpToBeAMom.com My Konmari Closet (or Who Bought All These Clothes) Vibrant Happy Women Facebook Group Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women:

Boundaries are all about where you end and the other person begins. Learn how to strengthen your boundaries through self awareness, clear communication, and consistent consequences so you can preserve (and increase!) your energy and happiness. jenriday.com/happy54

In part 2 of a 2-part series, I share a painful event from my past involving a miscarriage and the marriage struggles that intensified as a result. Listen to Part 1 here. And, for fun, here's my bio: (Every other guest has one, so I want to fit in with the "cool kids.") Jen is a 42-year-old mom of six and Women's Happiness Expert who lives just outside of Madison, Wisconsin with her family. Jen was raised on a farm with the values of hard work and honesty, and today Jen's priorities are spirituality, family, health and helping women find happiness (in that order). In her free time Jen enjoys yoga, meditation, time in nature, and curling up with a great book.

In this Happy Bit: "It all started with my son plopping a steaming (and HUGE) bowl of yummy goodness in front of me. He had cooked sweet potatoes, spinach, mushrooms, onions, hot dogs and a metric ton of garlic in some sizzling coconut oil... and it was AMAZING." Our massage table is covered - COVERED - in books from various podcast guests and things I ordered on Amazon months ago but failed to read. But since I disccovered audio books from Audible, things are so much better! I can "read" again. ;) Because I love them so much, I've teamed up with audible.com to offer you a free audio book. Grab yours at vibranthappybook.com. You'll also get a free thirty-day membership, too. Sweet! Now on to our Happy Bit. It all started with my son plopping a steaming (and HUGE) bowl of yummy goodness in front of me. He had cooked sweet potatoes, spinach, mushrooms, onions, hot dogs and a metric ton of garlic in some sizzling coconut oil... and it was AMAZING. For a nearly 16-year-old, this boy has mad skillz! But sadly I tend to get more caught up in the fact he didn't empty the trash or clean his room. Always the LACK, the scarcity... When we stop and focus on the good, everything feels to much better, from our emotions to the entire tone of the relationship. One way to focus even more on the good is to create a vivid vision of the future - to take the good things now and play them out and see exactly what they might look like in the future. For example, maybe my son will be an amazing chef, or a fantastic cook for his family... one good thing leads to another, and when we create a vivid mental picture of all the goodness that could happen in the future, we train our brains to keep going. It's fun! Also, I share how you can get your hands on the Self Care Toolkit available at jenriday.com/selfcare. Grab yours before it goes away: jenriday.com/selfcare Make it a great week! And remember to get your free audio book at vibranthappybook.com.

In part 1 of a 2-part series, I share a past life struggle involving a miscarriage and the marriage struggles that intensified as a result. And, for fun, here's my bio (every other guest has one, so I want to fit in with the "cool kids."): Jen is a 42-year-old mom of 6 and Women's Happiness Expert who lives just outside of Madison, Wisconsin with her family. Jen was raised on a farm with the values of hard work and honesty, and today Jen's priorities are spirituality, family, healthy and helping women find happiness (in that order). In her free time Jen enjoys yoga, meditation, time in nature, and curling up with a great book. Nuggets of Wisdom from Jen: After I clawed myself out of the emotional pit that resulted from events on the most horrible day of my life (so far), I learned several things that helped me let go of the guilt I used to feel when I took time for myself: I'm loved and I'm worthy. I'm 100% in charge of my life and happiness. The greatest gift I can give my loved ones is my own happiness. I'm happiest when I take care of myself first (and others second). The Wheel of Happiness is the perfect guide to guide my use of time so I take care of ALL aspects of myself. A Challenge from Jen: Grab the Self Care Toolkit and learn the 5 things that will help you get rid of guilt... sweet! Then... email me at support@jenriday.com and share 1) one thing you struggle with and 2) 1 thing from the Wheel of Happiness you're going to focus on to help you take better care of yourself so you can face your struggles with strength. You can ask to remain anonymous, or, at the other extreme you can volunteer to jump on a Skype audio call so I can record your voice for Part 2 of this episode, airing next week! Resources The 8 components of the Wheel of Happiness: Body, Mind, Emotion, Spirit, Contribution, Relationships, Outdoors, Resources. Listen to Part 2 to get the rest of the story next week. Louise Hay Self Care Toolkit Subscribe to Vibrant Happy Women: