Your Kickstarter Sucks

All the characters from all the different works of literature come together with everything for a HUGE MOVIE! We're joined by one of the only guys on the planet who loves ridiculous movies as much as JF does, Jon Gabrus, to discuss when podcast guys are your actual friends, not reading too many books ever, and how bad it feels when some guy builds 8 boats if all you ever built was 1 boat. Check out Gabrus's pod Action Boyz at https://www.patreon.com/ActionBoyz Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.YKS is sponsored by Betterhelp. Go to BetterHelp.com/YKS to find a professional, affordable counselor you can talk to over the computer. 1.5M people are already on there talking to counselors on the computer. Hell if you put that on TV it'd be some high ratings. Obviously they aren't going to do that, due to it would violate privacy. TV is kind of bad now anyway. I'm over it! And if you liked this episode of Jessuary, we've got even more available on the YKS Premium Patreon. This Friday, Sarah Squirm returns to review the Jeff Bridges/Ryan Reynolds dead buddy dead-em-up, R.I.P.D.! Here's a preview: Sarah hated it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Truth, Dare, or Spoon! Oh my god, I guess I'll go with SPOON! Hahaha. Oh sick there's mayonnaise in here...Yuckeroo! I can't wait til my 39th birthday tomorrow haha. That's just one writer's guess at what's going on in the living rooms and dens of annoying glasses wearing guys around the country. Also on today's show we've got the debut of 3 new characters: Mr. Food, Flip Flop Farrar, and The Michael Jordan of Coins. Probably couldn't find that many characters in Kanji, the adopted logographic Chinese characters that are used in the Japanese writing system. We also have an update on a stupid fuckin thing that squirts goo into your banana. So that's something to look forward to. Alright I'll see ya in there gang. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.This week, YKS is sponsored by Hello Fresh. This is the place ya wanna go if ya want fresh, easy meals delivered to your door. All you have to do is say, "Hello!" Try em out with the Official YKS Discount at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks10 and use the promo code yourkickstartersucks10 to get 10 free meals and free shipping! Oh baby! Taste the flavors!We're also brought to you by Manscaped. Now, the Lawnmower 3.0 is what the whole world is talking about, but they sent us some of their cologne and it's actually crazy good. It smells like cologne, you know, I don't know what the scent is. But I put it on and walk around my house knowing that I smell pretty decent. That's about all you can ask for from a cologne, I think. Not gonna fix the whole world but got a good sniff to it. Anyway when you go over there use promo code YKS please -- this helps the show out and it also helps out your groin area!Jessuary continues over at the YKS Premium Patreon: this week, don't "Fuggedaboutit!" cause we've got a great episode. Chris James, Rob Whisman, and Stefan Heck are on to discuss Frank D'Angelo's 125-minute long card-playing drama Sicilian Vampire. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Covid-19 sucks so bad....I really want to put my crap on it. No, I'm serious. I want to wipe my butt with Covid-19!! Yeah!! I'm going to do this. I think I'll do it. And I'll tell other people to help me do it...to put my butt on Covid-19. Sick of this guy! We presume that is the thought process responsible for bringing "Fuck Covid Toilet Paper" to the world, but hell I don't know, I just read the stuff. I barely wipe my ass with any of the products we make fun of on here. Anyway also this week we have a new thing to make video chatting even more lame and annoying, an app for stopping fake restaurant reviews with the power of QR codes, and a way to keep hold of the GOD damn remote, which should be in the same spot every time. Why the fuck is it over there! Fuck! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.It's a big week, and I mean a BIG WEEK on the YKS Premium Patreon, folks! It's the start of Jesseuary Year 2, and we're kicking it off with a big, destructive monster who, despite his frightening outward appearance, is actually a gentle giant whom I love very much. I'm talking about Godzilla. Makes sense. And the guest is our friend Dan O'Sullivan who, come to think of it, I'm quite fond of as well. Join us for this kickoff mega episode on 2019's King of the Monsters and stick around all month long for some more great Jesse Movies and guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oh, you know we're buzzin! It's YKS baby! On today's show we've got the first-ever DOUBLE update on an old Kickstarter...some crap from the past, but twice! And of course the new crop of crap is here as well, on a big silver platter on a white linen covered table with wheels like you get in the fancy hotels. Oh boy I hope there's one packet of catsup and a very small container of too-hard butter in there. Either way it's going to be worth at least $95. Even if all that's there is a billboard yelling at DC politicians (in St Louis), an Inception-like look at the sovereign citizen movement, and a penis mobile. Plus a couple of emails, some voicemails, and about an hour of two guys goin "Now what in the darn heck is this!" Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.The YKS Premium Patreon is litty!!!! That doesn't feel good to type that, so you gotta know how much it really is popping off over there. This week, we're heading back to What The Fund World to find out what the hell is going on with all the crap we've bought on Kickstarter recently, and to figure out what kind of crap we need to buy in the future (not good!) And next month we're kicking off Jesseuary, with a slate of great guests and stupid ass movies only a Jesse could love. And there's only one place to hear it...say it with me now! The littiest place on Earth! YKS Premium! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Yeee-haw! That's what I'd say if I were a big Texas cowboy type of guy. And here's another character I've been working on: "The Butler". Hello, ma'am. Welcome home for the evening. Your gown is in the foyer. I have a lot of these guys I never really get to do on the show because we're always talking about Kickstarter stuff. Which I guess is what I should be mentioning right about now. Oh well. Today on the show we have a new cube to talk about, which is great, even though I didn't get to do my Mad Scientist character. He goes like, Mwah haha haha. And we also have a Grumpy Cat LEGO type of thing. I did not have a character for that one, but I can make up one now. It's called, like, Clock Man. Well it looks like it's time to stop doing this character. Ok that was pretty good for being on the spot. There are some other Kickstarters on there too but basically just know there's like very little if any character work this week but next week Mike said we can do a lot more ok see ya. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.Hey if you like us and you like our friend and frequent guest Chris James of Not Even A Show, you're probably gonna wanna take a peek at our new show Good Morning, Good Morning. It's over on Stitcher Premium, which is a different website to get our stuff than normal. That's because the show is not your typical YKS. We've put on our writing and acting and directing hats and planned out a stupid little world for our idiot characters to get fucked up in. And we've got some great guests on there as well: Nick Wiger, Carl Tart, Brendon Walsh, Longmont Potion Castle, and a bunch more of our friends drop by to fart around. So check it out and use promo code SUCKS for a nice discount off the top. Plus, on YKS Premium this week we've got the return of YKS Classic Segment Real or Fake...will Mike show his ass once again or, will he for some reason, triumph over the impossible odds of guessing correctly which dipshit products I have made up? Hey, either way, listening to him try is half the fun. Actually it's all the fun for you. There's no other fun than that. Listening to us is all the fun. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

2020 was one hell of a year...emphasis on the HELL part! Still, I'd love to relive it for some reason with a half-assed board game. And if that gets boring, maybe I'll head over to the gaming PC to boot up some warmed over shit from circa-1999 Newgrounds Flash barf. Even though neither of those things sounds that good to do, I'm still going to do them. If you want to stop me, you're going to have to tone up your butt muscles, slap on your Billionaire Suit, and hit the Prayers App. Cat Toilet. Couldn't work in the last one but getting 5 in there is not too shabby. Get in here you old dogs, it's time for YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.YKS is sponsored by NordVPN. If there's a faster, more convenient VPN service, they sure haven't told me about it yet. Use promo code YKS at NordVPN.com/yks for a steal of a deal on your next Netflix-juking, Chrome-extending, data-shredding VPN subscription.Oh boy, and after all that, there's still YKS Premium comin' out every Friday. This week on the program we have our friend Chris James joining us to talk about our new Stitcher Premium show Good Morning, Good Morning, pitch some new prank calls, and run through the Jokeblogger Top 10. Now that's what I call a Premium Experience! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's 2021 everyone, where everything is good again. We still have to do the show though, so sorry about that! This week on the show we're talking about the long-awaited crossover between NES games and the world of Pawn Stars, a mask for people who want to look like a big egg, humping Disney characters, and using your balls as a penis. Plus we're one-upping the 100 Ideas list from a while ago with an even bigger list of even worse ideas. There are like 4000 of these things. They are terrible. Here's one: "A zip that if left unzipped for more than 1 min starts screaming" -- What's that? No idea. They aren't really too much better than that one on average. Anyway that's 2021 for ya folks so get in here before we start hating this one too. Music for YKS is courtesy of the Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.This week's YKS is sponsored by HelloFresh. Hey you gotta eat anyway. Might as well eat HelloFresh. Try 'em yourself at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks10 and use promo code yourkickstartersucks10 for 10 free meals including free shipping. Now that's lot of free bleep!!! Plus we got our friends over at Manscaped. Do your penis a favor for once and buy it Manscaped. New Year, New Penis! Get 20% off and free shipping at Manscaped.com with promo code YKS. Of course we've got YKS Premium as well, which is good for folks who need even more YKS content. This week on the show, Producer Dan finally joins us in the YKS DigiStudio for a watchalong of Gun Safety for Women, another entry in the Cool Cat Cinematic Universe. This one really sucks and it was brutal to watch. So come listen to us do that for ya, and check the YKS Pisscord (Discord) for more info! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's the end of the year as we know it....And I feel fine!!! It's from a famous song! It's a parody! Look it up! When it comes to finishing up the HELL YEAR!!! you know we had to do it big: deleting the episode we actually recorded by accident, then scrambling to replace it with the Premium episode we recorded the week before, and not having a plan for how to replace that. But you know what, I think it worked out pretty good. That's right, we brought our friends from Blocked Party back to see if they can redeem themselves after a pitiful performance on YKS Millionaire last time around. Did they do it? Did they win the million? Or did they bring shame to their family and podcast and Twitch streams once again? Also is Blippy there for some reason? Yep! Hell of a show, and a hell of a couple guys. Even Producer Dan is in on this one. What da!!!!Music for YKS is courtesy of the Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.This week's YKS is brought to you by NordVPN. In my opinion you would have to be certifiably insane to use any other VPN service. Hey man get in that padded room, or if you want the best VPN experience around, take it from your friend JF and head on over to the website I'm talking about. Plus, use promo code YKS to get 4 months free with a 2 year subscription. And that's the bottom line! And coming up on the YKS Premium Patreon this week, oh my god I hope we think of something cause this was supposed to be the show! Fuck!!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey gang, it's the YKS boys' annual week off, so we're bringing some YKS Premium content out of the vault for your enjoyment. If you haven't heard this classic ep yet, you are in for a treat. And if you have, well, it's still a treat! Plus, feel free enjoy the brand new intro at the beginning. Or not! Either way, our friend Mark Brendle joins us to talk about The Dead Zone, a very weird little movie from the twisted mind of Stephen King that has, dare I say, become very relevant in the last couple of months. It's a great choice by Brendle and I think we learn a lot as well as having a good time. Short of hanging out with Neil deGrasse Tyson, I don't think you'd find a better way to combine those two things than this episode. Happy hall of days every one, and we will be back with some 100% new shit next week. Cheers,Music for YKS is courtesy of the Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.This week's YKS is sponsored by Wipers123.com. It's a great site to get windshield wipers for your car, I can tell you that much. I put some on my car and it took like 1 second. It says up to 30. But mine was only 1. Maybe even a half. Don't believe me? Ok hotshot. Head on over to Wipers123.com and use promo code YOURKICKSTARTERSUCKS for $10 off orders of SpeedSets.Plus, we've got a good deal for ya on HelloFresh. There's only one problem: you're gonna get a lot of money off your order. Wait a minute, I just realized that's good! Just go to hellofresh.com/yourkickstartersucks80 and use promo code yourkickstartersucks80 for, you guessed it, $80 off and free shipping. Hello, fresh! That's what I would say to it. This week over at the YKS Premium Patreon, we're taking the day off from all-new, instant-classic content. But we will be re-releasing the Squeeze Louise tier Miketober ep with Bakkoon and Simon Barrett, on They Live, along with another cute little intro. (And Squeeze Louise heads, don't worry, the end of year mailbag is coming soon). Thanks everybody for supporting the show and keeping me out of the Google Docs Resume Template hell I was in for a while. We hope you have enjoyed at least some of the stuff we're doing. And more fun shit to come I assume! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Imagine a futuristic world where everything is basically the same....except there's, like, some pink graffiti around and maybe a robot zips by carrying some food. What moral implications would that have, on our society...and what would YOU choose to become? More importantly...who cares! It's another YKS folks and this time we've got a video game about being Jesus (but you probably don't get any cool powers), the worst innovation in underwear history, and a robotic salad trailer idea from a young man trying his best to make it in this crazy world. Oh and did I mention there's a bunch of LED lights and ripped jeans everywhere in this new world...this seems insane! And it's a ways into the future but not too far away. So. Still pretty interesting. Not as interesting as Futurama though. Anyway that's the program and please enjoy it. Thank you. Music for YKS is courtesy of the Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.Today's YKS is brought to you by NordVPN. There's lots of reasons to have a VPN, and if you're gonna get one, it might as well be NordVPN, the one I've used before. Use promo code YKS to get 4 months free with a 2 year subscription. YKS is also sponsored by BetterHelp. Mental health is some classic stuff. Now you can get some without going to an office. Give that a whirl with 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/yks.And coming up on the YKS Premium Patreon this week, we've got: Is Mike Smarter Than a 5th Grader? For up to $50,000 of Nickelodeon and John Cena's dollars, can Mike successfully remember what 2 + 2 equals? Well the questions aren't that simple but they're not very hard either. Tune in to find out! And to not listen to the ads and so forth. If you want. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.