Your Kickstarter Sucks

Now before you get mad at me for language appropriation for the title, listen to the episode. And get mad at my kid instead! I’m just kidding don’t email me about this or I’ll lose my gourd. Last time I saw him, he was in Vancouver. Again, this is a joke. On today’s episode of YKS, we are reviewing some funny ass memes, headbanging to the Abhorrent Stench of Flatulence, and discovering just what types of things you shouldn’t imply you are doing to your dog on a t-shirt you wear in public. Plus! A work from home solution so bad I’d go into the office, a guy who thinks he can make air travel even less dignified, and a cute little kitchen gadget from Japan that I actually don’t want. Insane…how do they do it?!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! THAT’S the place to listen to the real show…not none of this 2 hour long hilarious, informative, sometimes-mentioned-on-a-website stuff. We’re talking LESS runtime, LESS relevant, and WAY LESS informative. It’s the only place to catch your two favorite guys watchin’ videos, makin’ videos, and chatting with crazy guests. That’s right, we’ll NEVER have a guest on YKS Regular. They fuck with our flow! Check out our fucked up flow and much more over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - When the meals come to your house and they’re good and healthy >>> Get 50% off your 1st box code with the code yks50 at factormeals.com/yks50Athletic Greens - We simply must have our vitamins, gang! And throw in the nutrients as well, gratis. 5 free travel packs and a year supply of Vitamin D can be yours, if you sign up today at athleticgreens.com/yksFast Growing Trees - I am looking out onto my beautiful verdant shrubs, that I myself purchased, with a different style of “green”, from FGT, right now, and I simply could not be prouder. Unless you also did the same. Why not? Now I’ve heard of pruning trees, but pruning prices? Well, just go on over to Fastgrowingtrees.com/yks, where you’ll get 15% off, and tell me if that doesn’t make a little more sense to ya. NordVPN - 🌏 Get an Exclusive NordVPN deal here ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS It’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Yesterday I was in Lowe’s looking for an anti-siphon valve, and a guy walked up behind me also looking for something. It sounded like he was looking for the same thing as me, so I showed it to him and he was like “no that’s not it, it’s like this.” And that’s fine I was just sitting there anyway. So then the Lowe’s employee walks over and he’s looking around, and mumbling, and going “Oh that’s not good”, and the original guy starts saying how he’s just gonna have to order it online, and it used to be $5 and all this shit. So I get my thing and stand up, and the guy’s wife says “I think he has the thing right there. And it’s only $4.” So I hand it to him and he just takes it and leaves. What a loser! Anyway none of that is in the show today, which is mostly about Pasta Tools, Trevor Ariza’s Money, rap battles, bougie popcorn, and AI pens. Nothing about my triumphant Lowe’s story, though, unfortunately. Still worth a listen.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. For ad-free episodes, access to the YKS Pisscord, and a whole bunch of other crapola, you’re gonna wanna head on over to YKS Premium and give us a classic amount of money! By the way, the Pisscord is a Discord server. And I don’t really know why we call it that. Pretty stupid actually, but guess what. Smart people are in there. Let’s go bother them!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wake up Danny, I think I got some edits for you to do! We may have lulled our producer off to slumber land for this episode but maybe you can stay up for most of it. On this Oops All Holes episode of YKS, we got a revolution in online content consumption, a condom for your pillow, and the least credible AI-related project we have ever seen. So we got just one question for ya: how many winks ya gonna get…on this all new episode of YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Oh please oh please oh please subscribe to YKS Premium! THAT is where you’re gonna get more YKS than you know what to do with, up to and including 6 (if it’s one of the Jumbo months) bonus eps, video, and more. And plus, it’s good for the environment. This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: HelloFresh - I like chicken, I like dinner, HelloFresh you are the winner! They make some good stuff over (pointing to big food factory) there so you can make some good stuff over (pointing to stove) there. Get 16 free meals + free shipping at Hellofresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16Rocket Money - I’m getting sick and tired of these mother-bleepin’ subscriptions on this mother-bleepin’ credit card statement! But Rocket Money can help me get that under control. I don’t remember the rest of the movie so I can’t really do another bit on it. Luckily I am subscribed at the top tier to all these streaming services so I can watch it whenever I want. Oh wait! Save money on your subscriptions today at RocketMoney.com/YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What’s better than a satisfying dinner (the 300th episode)? How about an elegant dessert (the 301st episode)! Then you can smoke inside the restaurant (the 302nd episode), go to the bathroom and throw up (the 303rd episode), and sit down for another entree (the 304th episode). That’s right, the episodes are courses! And right now, this one is “coursing” through the internet on the way to your precious little ears and lobes! On today’s show, we have the Return of Quikster, some AI crapola, and dole out the YKS Bump. Plus, a sponge you can pass down to your grandchildren! Isn’t that stupid? Yep. But that’s the show. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium..doo doo doot…it makes ya feel good! That could be kinda cool if we were to ever do a jingle for an ad. When you’re feelin’ low…just watch the show! That’s right, watch! Catch video eps of YKS Premium, exclusive mailbags and more at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Mt. Ellinor Candle Company - Whether it’s the Olympus, the Skokomish, or my personal favorite, the Rainier, this is one candle you will want to burn at both ends! Go to MtEllinor.com and use the code YKS to get 15% off at checkout.Factor - Morning, noon, and night, you’re eating meals. And they’ve never been more healthful or convenient than they have been with Factor. Soon, they’ll be calling you, “Mr. Meals!” Enter the code YKS50 at Factormeals.com/YKS50 for 50% off! Athletic Greens - I just got done with a little travel my own self and I don’t know where I’d be without my Athletic Greens travel packs. Probably would have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque! Oh brother, not again! I shoulda had my adaptogens! Get 5 free travel packs and a year’s supply of Vitamin D at Athleticgreens.com/YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mike and JF celebrate the milestone in style with a look back at the episodes that were, looking forward to the future of YKS, and of course, discuss 6 Kickstarter projects in the beloved segment, The 6 Pack. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. We couldn’t have done 300 of these bad boys without your generous support, and it is my solemn promise that we won’t do any more if it stops! That’s right, this is a hostage situation…stick ‘em up! Just playing. But if I can be serious for a moment, I am a person of interest in many interstate bank robberies. To help me pay for gas money to keep evading the long arm of the law, and grab hundreds of hours of incredible YKS audio and video content, head on over to Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and reach for the sky! This week’s historic episode of YKS is sponsored by:Fast Growing Trees - It’s springtime! And all is in bloom….except, uh, some of the stuff I killed this year. But Fast Growing Trees is coming to the rescue with all the ground cover, shrubbery, and beautiful foliage I could ever want. Nandina, Laurel, Arbor Vitae…the gang’s all here! In my yard! Go to FastGrowingTrees.com/YKS, drop in that email, nab 15% off your entire purchase, and get growin’! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Two hundred ninety nine episodes…each one funnier than the last. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium!  You gotta subscribe to it to get the shows. And the shows are what you want to listen to, because they’re good. And you want to listen to good stuff because it’s fun. And you like fun stuff because, uh, it’s good. I don’t know how far to go with this. It probably has to do with serotonin, which I think is like a molecule or something. Help your molecules. Subscribe to YKS Premium. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor – I would eat Factor meals for every meal if I could. Actually I guess I could. But that wouldn’t leave room for my much-reviled “Hot Dog Salad” I simply can’t do without. For the other 99 meals a week, I’m going with Factor – for healthy, simple, and delicious meals that just won’t quit! Go to FactorMeals.com/YKS50 to get 50% off your first box!Rocket Money - We’re all tired of saving money. That’s why I love spending tons of money on subscriptions I forgot about long ago. Oh wait, that would be insane! That’s where Rocket Money comes in. Trim the fat and cut the crap, with Rocket Money! RocketMoney.com/yksAthleticGreens - Vitamins are grand…but what if they tasted good and were actually easy to take? And affordable, also? Some thought it couldn’t be done. But Athletic Greens knew better. And here comes AG1 to disrupt the entire supplement industry! Wow! Go to  AthleticGreens.com/yks for a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

HEADS UP: The first Kickstarter this week is nasty and stupid. Just letting you know. The funny part comes in when we turn our critical eyes and razor-sharp wit onto the project, absolutely tearing it limb from rhetorical limb. It’s so brutal, some might say it was even more objectionable than the project itself…but ask yourself, does the lion concern itself with the feelings of the lamb? Hm, not sure. Well anyway the point is, we got a great show this week on the Ramp Up To 300! We’re talking penis pens, a beer holder that does (???), 3D-printed butt wipers, and more. And all you have to do to get there is sit through a stomach-churning, offensive, utterly unlistenable intro followed by the bad project I mentioned earlier. Oh and also some ads. Hope everyone had a good Easter. ByeMusic for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! I wouldn’t keep plugging it if it weren’t so god damned good. Get more YKS the only place I can think to find it, and unlock the secrets of our damnable Discord server, at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks!This week’s YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:.Tech - You in tech? Well you’re gonna wanna be on .tech – the hottest and swaggiest domain for all of us techheads. Including YourKickstarterSucks.Tech! Sign up today at go.tech/YKS and get 15% off 1 and 5 year domains!HelloFresh - I’ve heard of eating your feelings, but here are my feelings on eating: it’s good! And HelloFresh makes it even gooder every single time. This week’s meals were a home run and I have my fingers crossed that next week’s will even come close. Only one way to find out…by getting 50% off plus free shipping at HelloFresh.com/YKS50!Honey - I literally just used Honey about 20 mins ago and it saved me like $19 on some shorts. That’s money in the bank right there. Get it for your own self at JoinHoney.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I’m running the self-cleaning function on the oven right now and it’s filling my home with, uh, let’s say, a normal amount of months’ old food fumes. So, I apologize in advance if this episode description gets a little WEIRD. Like Weird Twitter. Which I invented, by the way. On today’s show we talk about becoming the world’s most useless and thief-targeted Avenger, taking down Big Grease (damn it’s getting pretty hot and smelly in here), and what to do with people who have ever so slightly different senses of humor than we do, other than physically attack them while heavily under the influence of toxic kitchen fumes. So roll your lottery dice, blow into your car’s BAC monitor, and crank up the probably broken bluetooth radio…it’s time for another episode of Yes, Kitchen Stinks! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Farrarch may be over…but YKS Premium lives on! That’s right, we didn’t decide to stop doing our one job after an arbitrary themed month of movie content. Talk about heroes…Anyway subscribe today for just $5/mo and get access to hundreds if not billions of hours of YKS content…with even more to come, I would absolutely have to assume! Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Mt. Ellinor Candles - You know we love candles here at YKS, and it just so happens that we’ve got a connection in the candle biz now. Mt Ellinor makes the best selling candles I’ve ever sniffed, and they do it the old fashioned way: with their hands, while listening to an awful podcast. Somehow, though, they turn out wonderfully. Get 15% off your order of two or more candles using the code YKS at MtEllinor.com and support a friend of the show!Athletic Greens - It’s springtime, and many of us are running outside to get some of that classic Vitamin Sun. But there are untold other vitamins that simply lazing about in the grass won’t get you. That’s why I use Athletic Greens AG1: the scientifically complete vitamin supplement that doesn’t require me to breathe any outdoor air! Get 5 free travel packs + 1 year supply of vitamin D at athleticgreens.com/yksFactor - I want lunch, I want dinner, and with Factor, I’m a winner! The song I’ve been legally barred from performing in public really says it all. These healthy, quickly prepared meals are good and good for you…now that’s a tune we can all dance to! Go to FactorMeals.com/YKS50 for 50% off your first box Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well well well, if it isn’t the episode description. Didn’t think I’d see your sorry ass round these parts again. Now that you’re here though, I reckon we oughta make the best of it. Let’s put our heads together and come up with a way of describin’ this episode that feels both comfortable to a seasoned listener and appealing to any potential newcomer. Then when that’s done we can solve our differences the old fashioned way, mano a mano. Capisce? Alright. Well first off I reckon we got a John Wick parody film about wieners…Now there’s a rootin’ tootin’ gunslinger I wouldn’t wanna cross. Then later on of course we got a silly jacket that JF says he likes…guess Mike did the 6 pack this week that’s why that’s on there. Then…shoo-wee, wouldja lookit that. It’s some newfangled social media application I can’t make hide nor hair of. Well don’t that beat all. Plus a lot more inbetween. I’ll swanee, that there is one heck of an episode of YKS….Now DRAW you dirty dog! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. More YKS comin right up! This week we bid fond farewell to a banner month of Jesse Movies involving time, and who knows what April will bring! Probably some equally crazy stuff. Until then, enjoy hours of audio and video content featuring some of our favorite friends at YKS Premium! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Fast Growing Trees –  I really want some trees that take forever to grow…NOT!! What kinda doofus…well, I don’t know, maybe you’d want that for some reason. Like as a prank? Well whatever, the point is, if you want some good lookin’ trees that’ll grow at a respectable pace and won’t blow your budget, FGT’s got ya covered…literally! Get 15% off at FastGrowingTrees.com/YKSRocketMoney – Subscriptions…they sure are convenient. But canceling them? Forget about it! No seriously, sometimes we really do! That’s where Rocket Money comes in. Get some help canceling those annoying recurring charges whilst kicking your feet up…at the pool perhaps?? at RocketMoney.com/YKS.NordVPN – EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey! We’re all in the metaverse! When ya comin’ by? And by “we” I mean, it’s like me, and a bunch of kids, and some drunk guys, and a comedy club. And we are just kind of floating around in mid-air. And it sounds really weird in here because we’re all on headset microphones. And there’s nothing to do. Anyway, can you spend like $400 to get in here please? Before it closes? Meanwhile, in meatspace, today’s show has got everything you need to remotely grill chicken thighs from down the street, force your kid to sit up straight with a screeching robot, and get the REAL news (from a Christian guy). Bzzt! Reminder! Download this episode now! It’s an all-new YKS! This episode description was written by one of the lowest-regarded free-to-use AIs. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. They say there’s no time like the present…but how about a present that is time! That is, more or less, what we’re doing over at YKS Premium this month as we celebrate Farrarch: Time Marches On, a month of time-centric flicks that only an idiot could love. Speaking of which, last week’s episode was all about idiots, as we brought in our friends Tom Walker and Demi Lardner to riff on the documentary Idiocracy! And this week on the show, our colleague in the “capitalism is bad” space Riley Quinn (Trashfuture) joins for, well, a movie about how capitalism is bad: In Time (2011)! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - When the Factor box shows up at the JF household…you know we’re about to go wild. Folks, I love my quick and healthy lunches so much they don’t even have to taste good to make me happy. But thank goodness they do anyway. Head to FACTORMEALS.com/yks50 and use code YKS50 to get 50% off your first box and join in on the “yum”! AthleticGreens - I’m a big fan of gut health; always have been. So when I found out about Athletic Greens, the slightly tropical vitamin and adaptogen blend that actually can improve that very same health, I was practically floored. But it’s true! Start your day the JF way with AG1, and get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D + 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/YKS.Tech - Got a website? Well you probably have a domain! Don’t feel bad if you didn’t know it, because frankly most of the domains out there are boring, bland, and just plain easy to overlook. Stand out from the crowd with a .Tech domain…basically it’s the “cool domain”. That’s why we’re on it! “Go” to go.tech/yks and get an automatic 15% discount on 1 year and 5 year .Tech Domains.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.