RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Sex Addiction Support, Betrayal Recovery, Reconciliation, Porn Addiction Recovery

We are all a little afraid of the unknown. Thats' just human. What happens if I stay with my husband and he relapses? What happens if we get divorced? "What if" is often one of the scariest questions we can ask, because there is no surefire way to predict the future and know the answer. In this episode Kylene shares why releasing control can actually be more empowering and freeing than trying to hold onto it. Kylene and Patrick also share their personal experiences where the unknown future, while they couldn't predict it, and the journey was hard, turned out just fine.   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU   For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune  On IG: @KyleneTerhune

Forgiveness is incredibly difficult after betrayal. It can also be difficult for an addict to forgive themselves after betraying themselves, their partner, and causing so much pain. And yet, forgiveness of self and others is unimportant part of the healing experience. Today's episode is a short visualization/meditation on forgiveness. We encourage you not to listen while you drive, but to find a quite, safe place to rest as you do this exercise. Kylene walks you through a powerful visualization where you first forgive yourself, before forgiving someone else of your choosing.  You won't want to skip this episode!    If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU   For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune  On IG: @KyleneTerhune

Many betrayed partners have experienced pressure to forgive quickly or felt one of the following: How could I ever forgive my husband after he cheated on me?  I want to forgive, but I just....can't! Forgiveness after betrayal is both difficult, and often misunderstood. There are so many cultural, religious or personal beliefs that we unconsciously mix up into forgiveness soup - and this can cause frustration, confusion and feelings of guilt when forgiveness doesn't come easily. In today's episode Kylene and Patrick discuss what forgiveness is, what it isn't and share their thoughts on when it's appropriate....or not! We hope this episode helps you decide what forgiveness really means for YOU! If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU   For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune  On IG: @KyleneTerhune

Is it possible to rebuild trust after betrayal? How can I trust my partner after they had a sex or porn addiction? Trust is shattered after discovery and betrayal. It's truly the foundation of safety that allows a relationship to build upon and when it's gone, it takes significant time and effort to create it again.   Kylene and Patrick continue to share their personal story around this topic as well as sharing their best pieces of advice to support you as you navigate your own story.   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU   For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune  On IG: @KyleneTerhune

If you are a betrayed spouse and have ever asked the following questions, this episode is for you! What do I do when my husband is deleting everything and turning his life over to God? What do I do if I think my partner has an addiction but I don't have proof? How do I navigate D-day anniversary or wedding anniversaries?    In this episode, Kylene and Patrick and your questions, and share practical tips to take immediately after discovery (like listing access to technology) and remind the couple not to spiritually bypass the steps it takes for long term recovery. (for more on spiritually bypassing recovery please see episode 23).   They also share their personal story as well as perspectives for you to consider when navigating these questions yourself.     If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU   For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune  On IG: @KyleneTerhune

Have you ever found yourself the position to ask the questions: I just discovered my husband texting other women - what do I do? Or, I just discovered infidelity, what do I do next? Getting connected to helpful resources quickly can make the biggest difference in recovery for BOTH partners. Patrick and Kylene talk about how to approach this situation when it comes up in your relationship and below they have included links to their favorite resources for both individuals to get started on their healing journey!  For addict: 1) Find a CSAT in your local area https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 2) If that's not possible, find a CSAT or sex addiction therapist or coach that works virtually (here are some starting places) www.puredesire.org Additional resources: https://www.drpatrickcarnes.com/getting-help Boulder Recovery (2 week recovery intensive) Beginagaininstitute.com   3) Connect to a local recovery group (we like the conquer group that you can find locally or online both at puredesire.org and soulrefiner.com www.samsonsociety.com    4) Read books and listen to recovery podcasts: RecoverU podcast Pure Desire podcast Pure Desire book by Ted Roberts Clean by Doug Weiss Unwanted- Jay Stringer     For the betrayed spouse: 1) Connect with a trauma therapist or coach who is familiar with sex addiction and works with betrayal trauma recovery  - look for someone who also has trauma processing modalities outside of talk therapy   If you are interested in working with Kylene please click this link and book a free connection call to see if it’s a good fit: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   2) Connect with local, or online groups: Cosa Sanon Betrayal and Beyond - puredesire.org Infidelity survivors anonymous www.btr.org   3) Ready books and listen to recovery podcasts: RecoverU podcast  Pure Desire podcast Intimate Deception. Sheri Keffer Facing Heartbreak - Stephanie Carnes RISE- Misty Terrell

Why should I go to therapy or do any healing work when this is my husband's problem?  Almost every betrayed partner has had that thought shortly after discovery. In today's episode, Kylene shares 3 reasons that a betrayed partner should actively engage in her own healing, even though she wasn't the one that did anything wrong and how that can help her individual healing as well as the healing of the relationship (should you choose to stay).   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU   For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune  On IG: @KyleneTerhune

I just discovered my husband looking at pornography- what dod I do? The importance of connecting to safe, effective, and knowledgeable resources right away after discovery is invaluable for both the betrayed partner and the sex/porn addict. In this episode Patrick and Kylene discuss effective resources and include the most common links they recommend using to get started below. For addict: 1) Find a CSAT in your local area https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357   2) If that's not possible, find a CSAT or sex addiction therapist or coach that works virtually (here are some starting places) www.puredesire.org Additional resources: https://www.drpatrickcarnes.com/getting-help Boulder Recovery (2 week recovery intensive) Beginagaininstitute.com   3) Connect to a local recovery group (we like the conquer group that you can find locally or online both at puredesire.org and soulrefiner.com www.samsonsociety.com    4) Read books and listen to recovery podcasts: RecoverU podcast  Pure Desire podcast Pure Desire book by Ted Roberts Clean by Doug Weiss Unwanted- Jay Stringer For the betrayed spouse:   1) Connect with a trauma therapist or coach who is familiar with sex addiction and works with betrayal trauma recovery  - look for someone who also has trauma processing modalities outside of talk therapy   If you are interested in working with Kylene please click this link and book a free connection call to see if it’s a good fit: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   2) Connect with local, or online groups: Cosa Sanon Betrayal and Beyond - puredesire.org Infidelity survivors anonymous www.btr.org 3) Ready books and listen to recovery podcasts: RecoverU  Pure Desire podcast Intimate Deception. Sheri Keffer Facing Heartbreak - Stephanie Carnes RISE- Misty Terrell

Have you been wounded by your pastor or church after you went to share your story of discovery? Has someone said something insensitive to you and your gut told you "this isn't right" but you felt conflicted because it came from someone inside the church? In today's episode, Kylene walks you through several truths that most churches won't tell you when you walk into their office and ask for support after discovering your husband is a sex or porn addict. Kylene wants to empower in your faith as well as in your recovery by openly discussing the things you need to know after discovery. For a PDF copy of 10 things the church won't tell you about pornography click here: https://mailchi.mp/2e8ade60994f/ebook If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU   For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune  On IG: @KyleneTerhune  

Do Kylene and Patrick have the perfect relationship? Are couples in recovery always happy? In today's episode Kylene and Patrick open up to share some of the struggles they still have as they continue to navigate the day to day reality of recovery after betrayal. While sharing personal stories and examples, they also share the self reflection, the frustration of putting in so much work only to hit a bump in the road, and remembering that your ultimate happiness shouldn't be completely dependent on your spouse.  They share how conflict can help you level up, and the lessons they learn as they move through these experiences together.   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU   For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune  On IG: @KyleneTerhune   For partner betrayal resources including:    The What's Next course for betrayed spouses right after discovery The Phoenix Transformation course for betrayed partners looking for 1:1 emotional processing, coaching and trauma work (Kylene currently only works with women) "10 things most churches won't tell you when your husband is looking at pornography"    click this link: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune   Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoverU     For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org     Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune  On IG: @KyleneTerhune