Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

RESOURCES www.leslievernick.com Suicide and crisis hotline: 988 Challenges in Recognizing Unsafe Relationships Dismissing Own Feelings and Needs Fear of Confronting Truth About Relationship Dynamics Addressing Misguided Advice Forgiveness and Forgetting Importance of Remembering Past Actions for Setting Boundaries Illustration: Story of the Songwriter Behind "Amazing Grace" Understanding Need for Repentance and Growth Maintenance vs. Repair Work in Relationships Analogy: House Maintenance and Repair Necessity of Addressing Trust and Safety Issues Before Other Issues Recognizing Difference Between Maintenance Tasks and Repair Work Understanding Individual Capacity and Emotional Management Importance of Self-Awareness in Managing Emotions Recognizing Emotional Capacity and Limitations Analogies: Understanding Emotional Capacity Through Everyday Examples Taking Ownership of Personal Growth Individual Responsibility for Personal Development Importance of Prioritizing Self-Care and Emotional Well-Being Recognizing When Individual Work is Necessary Before Addressing Relationship Issues Seeking Help and Support Encouragement to Seek Professional Guidance and Support Highlighting Available Resources for Personal Growth and Relationship Support Empowerment to Prioritize Personal Growth and Safety in Relationships  

Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Self-Care 1. Introduction to Boundaries Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships and self-respect. Understanding the importance of boundaries in various aspects of life. 2. Recognizing Boundary Violations Signs of boundary violations include feeling drained, disrespected, or overwhelmed. Identifying situations where boundaries are being crossed and acknowledging the need for change. 3. Establishing Boundaries The importance of clear communication when setting boundaries. Examples of effective boundary-setting phrases  4. Dealing with Criticism Addressing criticism that may arise when implementing boundaries. Seeking support from understanding individuals who respect your journey. 5. Respecting Yourself Embracing self-respect and understanding that boundaries are not selfish but necessary for personal growth. Recognizing and valuing your uniqueness and individual needs. 6. Knowing Yourself The importance of self-awareness in establishing and maintaining boundaries. Understanding your preferences, limitations, and values to make informed decisions.

RESOURCES: Find Joel Muddamalle's books and more at: www.muddamalle.com Find Leslie's books, programs, and more at: www.leslievernick.com  Find Lysa Terkeurst and the Therapy and Theology podcast: www.lysaterkeurst.com/therapy-and-theology  I. Introduction: Setting the Stage Acknowledging the complexity and sensitivity surrounding the issue of divorce and the Bible II. Interpreting Malachi 2:16 Analysis of the New King James Version's interpretation of Malachi 2:16 Emphasis on the importance of understanding cultural context and nuances in translation Addressing misconceptions and criticism regarding biblical interpretation III. Unpacking the Statement "God Hates Divorce" Clarification of the implications of a unilateral statement from God Discussion on the potential impact on individuals experiencing divorce Emphasis on the need for a nuanced understanding of biblical teachings IV. Marriage, Divorce, and Biblical Context Examination of Exodus 21 and implications for marriage and divorce Discussion on the complexity of marital relationships and divine understanding Exploration of the New Testament teachings on divorce, particularly Jesus' response to the Pharisees V. Understanding the Cultural and Historical Context Insights into the debate between the Hillel and Shammai camps regarding divorce Analysis of Jesus' response to the Pharisees and its cultural implications Consideration of Paul's teachings on divorce and remarriage VI. Pastoral and Ethical Implications Reflection on the pastoral responsibilities in addressing divorce and marriage issues Advocacy for seeking specialized help and guidance in dealing with complex marital situations Emphasis on the importance of theological honesty and discernment in interpreting scripture VII. Encouragement and Final Words Affirmation of God's love and care for individuals, particularly women Encouragement to uphold one's dignity and worth as children of God Call to discernment, prayer, and reliance on the Holy Spirit in understanding biblical truths.

Segment 1: Setting Boundaries with Compassion Leslie emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries for safety without resorting to shaming or demeaning language. Discussing the misconceptions around divorce and the true essence of God's stance on marriage, rooted in love and protection for women. Segment 2: The Journey of Forgiveness Examining the stages of forgiveness and repentance in rebuilding a fractured marriage. Understanding the woman's role in moving forward, including evaluating trust, releasing resentment, and embracing personal growth. Segment 3: Confronting Painful Realities Sharing poignant stories of tragedy and anger to illustrate the lasting impact of recklessness and the necessity of processing emotions. Encouraging listeners to rewrite their stories beyond victimhood, embracing resilience and new beginnings. Conclusion: Leslie emphasizes that, regardless of the outcome, finding peace and growth is possible. Julie reinforces the idea that even if the desired ending differs from reality, a happy conclusion can still be achieved through personal transformation.  

In this episode, we dive deep into Marie's inspiring journey of breaking free from an emotionally destructive marriage, finding strength in faith, and building a new life of purpose and empowerment. Part 1: Recognizing Toxic Patterns In the first part of our show, Leslie and Marie confront harmful beliefs perpetuated by society and religion. They discuss the misconceptions surrounding marriage, divorce, and self-sacrifice, shedding light on the importance of discerning between true biblical teachings and damaging ideologies. Part 2: Embracing Healing and Growth Marie courageously shares her story of recognizing warning signs, seeking support, and setting boundaries to protect herself from further harm. Through the Conquer Group and trusted family members, she found the strength to navigate the challenges of divorce and embrace the healing process with resilience and faith. Key Points: Challenging Toxic Beliefs: Marie and Leslie challenge damaging beliefs that perpetuate toxic patterns in relationships. They emphasize the importance of discerning between true biblical teachings and harmful misconceptions that contribute to emotional and psychological harm. Recognizing Warning Signs: Marie recounts her journey of acknowledging the warning signs of abuse and the pivotal moment when she realized she couldn't ignore them any longer. She shares her experience of grappling with emotional manipulation and gradually coming to terms with the severity of her situation. Seeking Support: Through the Conquer Group and trusted family members, Marie found the courage to seek support and guidance. She emphasizes the importance of reaching out to trusted individuals who can offer perspective and encouragement during difficult times. Setting Boundaries: Marie reflects on the crucial role of setting boundaries in protecting oneself from further harm. She shares how prioritizing her well-being and asserting her needs, despite pushback from her ex-husband, helped her regain a sense of autonomy and self-respect. Embracing Healing: Despite the challenges of divorce and rebuilding her life as a single mother, Marie embraced the healing process with resilience and faith. She shares how leaning on her relationship with God and embracing her identity outside of marriage empowered her to envision a brighter future. Moving Forward with Purpose: Today, Marie is embarking on a new chapter of entrepreneurship, leveraging her experiences to support other women in similar situations. She encourages listeners to prioritize their own growth and well-being, knowing that they are deserving of love, respect, and fulfillment. RESOURCES Join Leslie's free workshop April 9th. Register at www.leslievernick.com/freetraining

Leslie interviews Rebecca Davis, author of the Untwisting Scriptures series.  1. The Genesis of "Untwisting Scriptures" Discover the origins of Rebecca's groundbreaking series, sparked by the urgent need to address misuses of scripture in handling sensitive issues like sexual abuse. Learn how Rebecca's journey evolved from social media advocacy to a comprehensive exploration of scriptural interpretations. 2. Challenging Authority and Misinterpretation Rebecca's transition from missionary storytelling to theological discourse, as she courageously challenges flawed interpretations of scripture. Understand the significance of Rebecca's work in addressing gender disparities and offering fresh perspectives within theological discussions. 3. Addressing Core Issues Delve into the critical themes tackled in Rebecca's books, including the misrepresentation of Christian rights and the often misunderstood concept of biblical bitterness. Gain valuable insights as Rebecca realigns these notions with the true character of God, providing a roadmap to understanding and spiritual freedom. 4. Cultivating a New Vision of God Uncover Rebecca's mission to correct distorted images of God prevalent in abusive religious environments, revealing the loving, relational nature of the divine. Experience a transformative journey toward spiritual clarity as Rebecca illuminates the true essence of God's word. 5. Reception and Impact Explore the overwhelming positive response to Rebecca's work, underscoring the profound need for her message in a world hungering for authentic spiritual guidance. Understand the formidable challenge Rebecca's engagement with scripture poses to critics, despite minimal direct confrontation. 6. Untwisting Bitterness and Beyond Delve into the unjust accusations of bitterness often faced by victims in abusive situations, as Rebecca offers fresh perspectives on accountability and forgiveness within the church. Gain invaluable insights into navigating complex emotions and reclaiming spiritual agency. Resources:  Rebecca Davis: www.rebeccadavisinfo.com Untwisting Scriptures Book series: https://heresthejoy.com/untwistingscriptures/  Leslie Vernick: www.leslievernick.com 

Defining Self-Esteem and Self-Image Julie poses the question: What constitutes healthy self-esteem, especially from a biblical standpoint? Leslie explores the concept of self-esteem in relation to self-image. Discussion on the formation of self-image through interactions and perceptions, particularly in childhood. Highlighting the role of parental influence and societal standards in shaping self-esteem. Understanding Humility and Self-Acceptance Expanding on the notion of humility as a component of healthy self-esteem. Drawing parallels between humility and accepting one's limitations. Leslie emphasizes the importance of embracing truth about oneself and avoiding unrealistic expectations. Discussing the difference between self-improvement and self-condemnation. Biblical Perspective on Self-Worth Julie prompts discussion on what the Bible says about self-worth and identity. Leslie highlights biblical verses affirming inherent value and purpose in individuals. Emphasizing God's unconditional love and acceptance regardless of human flaws. Encouraging listeners to recognize their worth as God's beloved creations. Overcoming Negative Self-Talk Addressing the impact of negative self-talk and external criticisms on self-esteem. Sharing personal anecdotes and struggles with self-esteem. Strategies for combating negative self-talk, including renewing the mind with truth. Encouraging listeners to challenge and replace self-defeating thoughts with affirmations of truth. Balancing Self-Care and Self-Improvement Delving into the fine line between self-care and self-absorption. Discussing the potential pitfalls of excessive self-focus in pursuit of improvement. Advocating for a balanced approach that includes consideration of others' needs and interests. Highlighting the importance of nurturing healthy relationships and community support.

In this compelling episode, we delve into the courageous journey of Amanda as she navigates through tumultuous waters in her marriage, finding strength, and healing amidst chaos. Early Struggles and Expectations: Amanda reflects on the early struggles in her marriage, feeling the weight of societal and religious expectations placed upon her as a wife and Christian. The pressure to maintain a facade of perfection made it difficult for her to seek help. Impact on Family and Identity Crisis: She shares the realization of how her marital struggles affected her children, prompting her to prioritize their well-being over societal expectations. Amanda opens up about the identity crisis she experienced when her reactions contradicted her perceived identity. Overcoming Shame and Seeking Help: Despite feelings of shame and embarrassment, Amanda reached a turning point when she recognized the need to prioritize her mental health and seek support for herself and her children. Discovering Support and Resources: Amanda discusses her journey of finding support through programs like Conquer and Walking in Core Strength, which provided her with valuable tools and biblical guidance to navigate through her challenges. Facing Reality and Acceptance: Amanda bravely confronts the reality of her marital situation, acknowledging persistent behavior patterns. Despite the challenges, she maintains hope and resilience, prioritizing personal growth and the well-being of herself and her children. RESOURCES:  Join Walking in Core Strength: www.leslievernick.com/strength

  The Danger of Pornography: It's not just a biblical issue; studies in psychology and science show the harmful effects of pornography. Pornography can lead to sexual dysfunction, making individuals less responsive to a normal sexual relationship with their partner. Internet addiction, including pornography, is causing societal problems, making people less connected and more self-absorbed. The Objectification and Harm of Women: Leslie points out the mistreatment, objectification, and even trafficking of women in the pornography industry. She quotes Jesus, who condemned those who harm children, linking this to the harm caused by pornography, especially when children are involved. Is Pornography Adultery?: According to the Bible, adultery is not limited to physical acts; it also includes unfaithfulness and lustful thoughts. The reluctance of some churches to equate pornography with adultery may stem from the fear of increasing divorce rates in their congregations. Addressing Pornography Addiction: It's important to learn how to say no to oneself for a higher purpose. If one can't be honest about their addiction and seeks to hide it, the lying becomes a deeper issue than the addiction itself. Masturbation: If a partner is unavailable due to injury or illness, self-care may be appropriate. However, using masturbation to avoid intimacy can be harmful to the relationship. Women and Pornography: Pornography is not solely a male issue, as more women are exploring their own sexual desires. Leslie highlights the dangers of pornography, emphasizing that it can lead to unhealthy relationships and addiction. Talking to Children About Pornography: Leslie provides advice on how to approach the topic of children watching pornography or exploring their bodies. She emphasizes not shaming children but educating them about appropriate boundaries. Hope for Recovery: Leslie offers hope for those affected by pornography addiction, emphasizing the importance of forgiveness and redemption. She encourages a path toward honesty and away from deception and addiction. Support for Spouses: Leslie advises spouses not to become consumed with fixing their partner's problem but to address their own emotions and needs. It's essential to focus on personal safety, trust, and emotional well-being while being compassionate and supportive.  

Understanding Abuse Dynamics: Andrew and Leslie delve into the multifaceted nature of abuse, encompassing emotional, psychological, and spiritual manipulation. They highlight the insidious tactics employed by abusers to exert control and maintain power over their victims, emphasizing the importance of recognizing red flags and setting boundaries. Breaking the Silence: Both hosts underscore the significance of breaking the silence surrounding abuse and fostering environments of safety and support for survivors to share their experiences. They encourage listeners to validate and honor their own narratives, while also extending empathy and understanding to those who may struggle to disclose their stories. Navigating Victimhood and Empowerment: Andrew and Leslie engage in a nuanced discussion on the concept of victim blaming, emphasizing the importance of holding perpetrators accountable while offering compassion and support to survivors. They explore the complexities of maturity and self-empowerment, challenging harmful narratives that perpetuate cycles of shame and self-blame. Spiritual Dynamics and Healing: In the context of Christian faith, Leslie addresses the challenges faced by women reconciling teachings of submission with experiences of abuse, highlighting the need for discernment and critical engagement with scripture. Andrew shares his personal journey of confronting his past actions and embracing a process of self-reflection and transformation, emphasizing the role of truth-telling, accountability, and therapeutic support in his healing journey. Practical Steps Toward Healing: Practical advice is offered for individuals experiencing abuse, including seeking support from trusted networks, consulting with professionals, and prioritizing safety and self-care. Both hosts emphasize the importance of recognizing triggers, practicing self-awareness, and advocating for healthy boundaries in relationships as crucial steps toward healing and empowerment. RESOURCES: Join Walking in Core Strength Andrew Bauman's book, How Not to Be an #ss Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma  Andrew Bauman's Website