Awesome Marriage Podcast

Most couples are not going to be completely aligned with sex drive. There are a lot of factors that  can cause this, but there are also a lot of solutions! Today we want to equip you to have a productive approach to making your sex life the best it can be in marriage.  We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.    Episode highlights include:   Why is it so hard to have a productive conversation about sex?  Should the lower-drive spouse “just do it” for the spouse’s sake? Why or why not?  Why respecting your wife’s drive level helps her feel sexy  Ways to respect your spouse’s drive    *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  What would happen if you took the next 4 weeks to reframe your spouse and your marriage with a biblical approach? Learn how to have a better perspective – and a better marriage, with our Reframing Challenge Does your sex life need a reboot? Improve your sex life with our Locking Lips Kissing Game!  If your marriage has been damaged by porn, the Marriage Undefiled Online Course provides a path to rebuild trust and repair your marriage.   Click HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode!   

Do you hope to break generational patterns of pain? Are childhood hurts haunting your marriage? Today’s guest Kristen Hallinan is a writer and speaker, and today she helps you see how to identify and break generational patterns to find hope, healing and redemption. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.    Episode highlights include:    How your past trauma can affects your current reactions  What makes it so hard to break cycles  Red flags of unhealthy family dynamics  How to work with God to find his redemption  Steps to making a redemption plan for your marriage    *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!  QUOTES “It can be easy to say, ‘Why didn’t I know better?’ You didn’t know better because that’s all you knew.” - Kristen Hallinan  “The more I’ve gotten to know who God is, the more I understand who I am.”- Kristen Hallinan  “I used to believe if I just tried hard enough, I could grow up and create this perfect family.” - Kristen Hallinan  MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode  Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar  Dr. Kim recommends the book, The Body Keeps the Score  Grab Kristen’s book, Legacy Changer for more great info on the topic Follow Kristen on Instagram and check out her website

Today we are sharing the final episode with Kathy McAtee Young and her story of finding safety after decades in an abusive marriage. In this episode Kathy shares some of the barriers that prevent spouses in abusive marriages from seeking safety and help, ways to begin moving out of the abusive relationship, and the ways healing begins afterward.    Don’t miss the conclusion to Kathy’s story. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.    Episode highlights include:   Reasons that abused spouse don’t trust their own judgment Steps to get out of an abusive marriage Is it ever appropriate to intervene if you believe someone is being abused?  What the process of healing looks like after you get safe   *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!  QUOTES “One of the hallmarks of an unsafe relationship is confusion.” - Kathy McAtee Young   “God sees you. He cares. And he is faithful.” - Kathy McAtee Young  “We don’t want your pity. Compassion, yes. There is a difference.” - Kathy McAtee Young “Healing is a lifestyle, not a finish line.” - Kathy McAtee Young  “When you can name it, then you can process it.”  - Kathy McAtee Young MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline : 800-799-7233 https://www.thehotline.org/ Visit Kathy’s website to learn about the helpful resources and services she offers  Kathy can also be reached for coaching on Instagram  This previous episode explains a Biblical perspective on abuse Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser with Dr. David E Clarke | Ep. 541 

Today in Part 2 of Kathy’s story, Kathy shares the ways she sought support from the church when she realized her marriage was in trouble, the responses she received, and the effects that had on her marriage. In this episode Kathy shares why it’s not possible for the abused spouse to end the abuse, and the difference between biblical versus unbiblical advice about abuse.  We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.  Episode highlights include:    Interventions the church put in place, and why they were not successful  The wake up moment that turned things around for Kathy  What is an appropriate response to spousal abuse?  The red flags that advice or counsel about abuse is unbiblical    *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    Red flags that advice or counsel about abuse is unbiblical  They won’t call out that abuse is abuse They will not call the abuse sin The safety of the abused spouse is not top priority  There is no call for repentance  They advise you to stay, regardless  Blaming the abused for the abuse QUOTES “There is one person responsible for abuse: It is the abuser.” - Kathy McAtee Young  “The Bible definitely commands forgiveness. It does not command reconciliation.”  - Kathy McAtee Young    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline : 800-799-7233 https://www.thehotline.org/ Visit Kathy’s website to learn about the helpful resources and services she offers  Kathy can also be reached for coaching on Instagram  This previous episode explains a Biblical perspective on abuse Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser with Dr. David E Clarke | Ep. 541 

When does an unhealthy marriage become an abusive marriage? Where can you go when you need to get out? In today’s episode we hear part 1 of Kathy’s real marriage story. Kathy shares how she came to believe that divorce was the most God-honoring option in her situation, and how she found safety after 30+ years in an emotionally abusive marriage.  We are so grateful to Kathy for generously sharing her story. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.    Episode highlights include:   Dispelling myths about who falls into abuse  Why marriage counseling does not work in abusive marriages How Kathy learned her marriage was abusive Why she stayed as long as she did, and why she later divorced     *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  This previous episode defines a clear Biblical perspective on abuse: Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser with Dr. David E Clarke | Ep. 541    QUOTES “I want to debunk the myth that abused women are poorly educated, lower income, women who can easily be taken advantage of. That’s just not accurate.”  - Kathy McAtee Young  “Within the first year, I knew we had trouble…” - Kathy McAtee Young   “Marriage counseling does not work if there’s abuse involved. I know that now.” - Kathy McAtee Young  “Most people who are narcissists are really good at it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling  “You have this idea that, ‘If she could fix all these things, then I wouldn’t be this way.’ That’s the blame shifting.” - Kathy McAtee Young  “The heart of abuse is power and control. Everything else is tactics.” - Kathy McAtee Young 

Do you fight fair, or do you wish there was a referee to call a stop to the foul play when you argue with your spouse? Ground rules are an important step toward having healthy marriage conflict, so today Dr. Kim will spell out how to make sure you’re fighting fair in your marriage. We want to empower you to fight fair, and resolve issues in a kind and loving way.  If you need help to fight fair and truly resolve issues without making things worse, you will love today’s conversation.  We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.    Episode highlights include:   The DOs and DON’Ts of fighting fair  The side effects of unhealthy conflict  A healthy way to “let it all out”  Can honesty go too far?  How do you know?  Tips to the reconnection process - how to make up well    *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!  QUOTES “We both learned we needed to reconnect and apologize, but sometimes we werent’ ready to take that step at the same time. We had to learn that somebody needs to take the step. It doesn’t really matter who started the fight or who was wrong.”  “Taking responsibility is huge. Owning your part in it, even if you think you only did 10%, you still did 10%.” “What are you sorry for? Be very specific in what you did and why you're taking responsibility.” “I say it a lot: One of the best gifts you can give your marriage is to learn how to resolve conflict.”  Forgiveness and apologies need to have no strings attached. It’s just that I choose to do this.  We’re not just trying to clear a slate so our spouse stops bugging us. Have you repented before the Lord? That’s where this starts.  We are accountable to Him before being accountable to our spouse. Did I just treat my spouse in the way He would have me treat them? If not, I need to take that up with Him    QUESTIONS FOR YOU When you really think about it, how did it affect your spouse when you had this conflict?  Repentance. Learning from the mistakes made and committing to work on them together.    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar  Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is your quick guide to get marriage conflict on the right track.  If you’re ready to learn how to do conflict well, the Conflict Resolution Guide helps you diagnose the problem areas in your marriage, then learn the steps to resolve them.  TODAY is the last day for our 7 Most Popular Resource Bundle! Don’t miss the chance to get 7 of our most-loved resources for 1 donation of ANY amount in support of the ministry of Awesome Marriage! Get all the details here!    

Sick of the same old fights over and over with your spouse? Learn to de-escalate marriage fights and resolve issues in a healthy and helpful way. Conflict in marriage is inevitable, but the way you handle it is what matters most. Learning to deal with it well will benefit your marriage in so many ways! Tune in today to learn how.  We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.  Episode highlights include:   Common conflict pitfalls to avoid The problem with “winning” marriage fights  Tips to help you break the fighting cycle What to do if one spouse is not ready to reconnect  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Are you stuck in a conflict cycle? If so, work together to identify what’s triggering it.  Choose 1 tip from Dr. Kim’s list below that you will both agree to use this week.  *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!  QUOTES “When we try our best to avoid conflict, we’re not really equipping ourselves with the skills to handle it well.” - Lindsay Few  “Awareness gives you some insight that can really be useful.” Dr. Kim Kimberling  MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar  Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is your quick guide to get marriage conflict on the right track.  If you’re ready to learn how to do conflict well, the Conflict Resolution Guide helps you diagnose the problem areas in your marriage, then learn the steps to resolve them.  It’s here! Our 7 Most Popular Resource Bundle is LIVE! That means you can get 7 of our most-loved marriage building resources by making 1 donation of ANY amount to support the ministry of Awesome Marriage! The bundle is available for a limited time only. Get all the details here!    

Learn how conflict can create a deeper connection between you and your spouse. Today’s special guest, marriage coach Dana Che is very open about the struggles her marriage faced. In today’s episode she shares her marriage story, what got them through, and how you can use the conflict you face in marriage to draw you toward deeper connection.    We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.    Episode highlights include:   What we can learn from our conflict triggers How to deal with different conflict styles in marriage  Steps to break generational cycles in your marriage  The power of speaking life to our spouse and our marriage  How being emotionally unavailable tends to show up in husbands and in wives & what to do about it     *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!  QUOTES “As a wife, I knew I couldn’t change my husband … but that didn’’ keep me from trying.” Dana Che  “When you actually engage in conflict, you can start to learn more about your spouse, what’s important to them.” -Dana Che   “You’ve got to feed the right things if you want to change the wrong things.” - Dana Che  “Just like you learned that bad behavior, you can unlearn it and learn something new.” Dana Che  “True repentance is visible.” Dana Che  “What we believe, we will begin to speak. What we speak, we will begin to behave.” Dana Che QUESTIONS FOR YOU What does your most recent marriage conflict reveal about what’s most valuable to you?     MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Find more from Dana at DanaChe.com, where you can take her “Connection Check” quiz  Listen to the “Real Relationship Talk” podcast  Joining Marriage Changers now means you score a huge haul of marriage-building goods when our annual *7 Most-Popular Resource Bundle* goes live on April 2nd!   

Why do Christians need counseling? Isn’t the Gospel enough to transform us? We hear these questions fairly often. Today Dr. Kim and special guest Jason VanRuler dive deeper into these questions and the conversation about the role of therapy and counseling in a life devoted to following Jesus. Don’t miss this helpful conversation! We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.  Episode highlights include:   How often do clients have no idea that they haven’t gotten past their past?  Unexpected ways your past might be showing up & affecting your marriage today Updating the negative messages we believe about ourselves  The effect of vulnerability on our marriage connection  *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    QUOTES “Where there's a disconnect in relationships, it’s often a disconnect from the system we witnessed growing up and what we’re trying to make happen today.” - Jason VanRuler  “When we get comfortable, the old ways seep out to the surface.”  - Jason VanRuler  “Every time a client says a negative message about themselves, I ask, is that the message you think God gave you?”  - Jason VanRuler  “One of my great joys is working with people to eliminate distractions so they can focus on the truth and live the life God has called them to.”- Jason VanRuler  “If we want to feel connected and we’re not feeling connected, a lot of times that emotional intimacy and depth is the missing link.”  - Jason VanRuler  “When we get vulnerable and honest, it attracts intimacy from our partner and we have a different relationship.”  - Jason VanRuler  “The marriage we want is often on the other side of vulnerability. We just don’t often know how to get there.”- Jason VanRuler   QUESTIONS FOR YOU  Do you recognize any ways you haven’t gotten past your past?    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Get Jason’s book, Get Past Your Past  His site: https://www.jasonvr.com/ If you’re ready to heal your marriage from p*rn, join us for the “5 Steps to Healing After P*rn Betrayal” LIVE webinar. Joining Marriage Changers now means you score a huge haul of marriage-building goods when our annual *7 Most-Popular Resource Bundle* goes live on April 2nd!  

Are you a man living in the stress bubble? It’s when the years of marriage, career building and raising kids all happen at once. You’re figuring everything out, trying to be there for it all, and it. Is. Stressful. If you’re there, you want to hear from a godly dad who has been there.  We’re so happy to share this conversation with Jim Ramos. Jim’s wisdom and experience will equip and encourage you to be the husband and dad you want to be. Don’t miss this episode. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.    Episode highlights include:   Jim defines the 4 phases of fatherhood  Advice for the dad who never had a role model to guide him Common mistakes dads make in the “stress bubble” years  Types of provision that the family needs from a husband / father 3 easy things Jim did that he recommends for all couples   *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!  QUOTES “Whether we tell our kids that we’ve made mistakes or not, they’re still noticing. Especially during those teen years.” - Jim Ramos "Our families require much more than physical provision. The damage most men do has nothing to do with physical provision; it has to do with heart care and soul care.” Jim Ramos “You don’t have to be flashy. You don't have to be Superman. You just have to show up.”   - Jim Ramos  “As men we have to realize our wife is the most important person on the planet, and it’s our job to make one person feel special.”  - Jim Ramos  “You will not be remembered for what you did 9-5, you will be remembered for what you did 5-9.”  - Jim Ramos    QUESTIONS FOR YOU Jim shared 5 traits that set a “man” apart from a “male”: Protect integrity Fight apathy  Pursue God passionately Lead courageously Finish strong each day  Which one of these is God calling you to grow in today?    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Find Jim online @ https://meninthearena.org/ On instagram @themeninthearena Get the book Strong Men Dangerous Times Listen to the Men in The Arena Podcast