Awesome Marriage Podcast

If you want to avoid communication breakdowns in your marriage, today’s episode is for you! Today, Dr. Kim is going to share 3 very common mistakes he sees as he counsels couples, so that you can avoid them! Whether you need a total overhaul or just a few friendly reminders, today’s episode has practical, actionable advice that will help you improve the communication in your marriage.  Are you making the same mistakes most couples make with communication? Dr. Kim has pretty much seen it all, and today he is going to help you avoid those mistakes, and build better communication instead.    We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.    Episode highlights include:    3 of the most common mistakes Dr. Kim sees over and over with couples he counsels: Blame, discounting, and distraction.  The impact each of these mistakes has on a spouse and marriage The practical steps to avoid each of these communication pitfalls    *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    QUOTES When you resolve conflict, both of you have to take responsibility for your part in it. I’ve never seen an issue where 1 person was 100% responsible. - Dr. Kim  I think it’s easy for us to rationalize, fool ourselves, and take the time to think it through.  - Dr. Kim  I’ve done it, I’ve seen it in other wives: It’s easy for us in parenting to discount our husband’s opinion. - Lindsay  Listen in a way that you can let them know you heard what they said. - Dr. Kim  As a parent with kids in the home, it’s great to have the reminder that they are benefitting from us putting boundaries that let us have an adult relationship with our spouse. As important as they are to us, we should value showing them that solid foundation and modeling marriage for them.  - Lindsay  I identify with all three of these, I’ve done them all. I’ts not something you just get right then coast, you have to stay on top of it. - Dr. Kim   QUESTIONS FOR YOU Do you use “I” statements to communicate what you need with your spouse?  For example: Instead of, “You always ignore me when I’m talking,” say, “I feel hurt when you scroll on your phone when I’m talking. I want to know that you care about what I have to say.”    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Need more communication help? Sign up here to save your spot for Dr. Kim’s FREE webinar,  “7 Common Communication Mistakes Couples Make” Questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame? Submit them anonymously HERE or DM us on Instagram. Dr. Kim will answer them in an upcoming episode  Want to reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding of your spouse, OR just strengthen your bond as a couple? Our 30-Day Communication Challenge is for you!  With Dr. Kim’s One Thing email, you’ll get one practical tip each weekday to build your marriage. The Marriage Multiplier is a quick weekly email that gives you practical ways to be intentional to grow your marriage. Sign up HERE! 

While their life appeared to be successful, fun and amazing, Andy and Sara’s marriage was at a breaking point. Their life was at a high point, but their relationship had reached a low. In today’s episode they share how their marriage recovered. Can a marriage survive the damage of gaslighting and blame? Today’s episode is proof it can. Dr. Kim got to witness a complete transformation in Andy and Sara’s marriage. Their story is full of grace and hope, and we are so thankful to them for sharing it with us today. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.  Episode highlights include:   How did things look good from the outside for as long as they did? How Sara used waiting to grow closer to God  The turning point that allowed Andy to start to change The specific process that changed Andy from the inside out  *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    QUOTES “We lived this big, giant, amazing life. The problem was, I was getting wrapped more and more into my success, thinking I was this great gift to humanity.” - Andy   “I felt like he didn’t know me. He didn’t know my heart.” - Sara “I was searching for the world to fill that void in my chest that only God can fill.” - Andy   “You need to meditate and delight in the word of God to change the trajectory of your life.” Pastor Mike (via Andy)  “The Lord didn’t care about all my success. He wanted me broken at the foot of the cross.” - Andy    QUESTIONS FOR YOU How have you seen God show up in the midst of difficult times?  What are the little things your spouse does that make you feel loved?    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Questions about gaslighting and blame? Submit them anonymously HERE or over on Instagram for Dr. Kim to answer in an upcoming episode  Want to reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding of your spouse, OR just strengthen your bond as a couple? Our 30-Day Communication Challenge is for you!   

Your faith is a foundation for every aspect of life. So when you’re not on the same page with your spouse spiritually, it can make marriage more complicated. Dr. Kim has helped couples deal with this situation time and time again, and in today’s episode he shares valuable insight into how you can deal with spiritual disunity in your marriage.  Episode highlights include:   Practical ways to pursue unity when you’re not unified on faith The common mistakes Dr. Kim sees spouses make in this situation  The major shift your marriage needs to start thriving How to change your focus in order to enjoy your marriage   We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.  *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    QUOTES “God loves them, and knows them so much better than you do, and He knows what works and doesn’t work for that person.” Dr. Kim Kimberling “Just accepting your spouse and not trying to change them is essential. You can’t really have a thriving marriage until you make that shift.” - Lindsay Few  “Growth hurts, but I’m glad I’m not the same as I was.” - Lindsay Few  “My life is so much different and better because I married Nancy, even though some of it was so hard for both of us.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling    QUESTIONS FOR YOU Have you let go of trying to change your spouse, and let God take over that job?  Pray and ask God: How can I love my spouse well today?    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  When your marriage is struggling, everything feels more overwhelming. We created  21 Prayers for Struggling Marriage to help make praying for your marriage less challenging. God is the one who can change your hearts and your marriage for the better, so inviting him to do those things is the best thing you can do for your marriage. Do you want to reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding & connection with your spouse, or strengthen your bond as a couple? If you do, then our 30-Day Communication Challenge is for you!   

No one loves talking finances, but we do think you’ll love today’s conversation with Julie Baumgardner! Julie shares how to get curious about what money means to your spouse, how two spouses’ separate financial backgrounds and “money stories” can stop being a source of tension, and start becoming a shared value.  Listen to this episode if you’re ready to get on the same page with your spouse about finances this season - without fighting about them!    Episode highlights include:    Questions to start a productive conversation about finances with your spouse How to uncover the hidden money lessons you learned growing up, then to get on the same page with your spouse.  What recent research says about the connection of money and marital happiness  How to learn more about your spouse’s perspective about money  Ways to work together toward shared values around money in your marriage *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    QUOTES: “You have different perspectives about money. You don’t necessarily talk about what it means to you, how you think about it, therefore you argue about it.” - Julie Baumgardner   “You can have conversations about money without having to be methodical about every single penny.” - Julie Baumgardner  “If you can’t figure out how to live within your means with a little, it will be very complicated to figure out how to live within your means with a lot.” - Julie Baumgardner  “It isn’t ‘You’re right, I’m wrong,’ you’re being curious. And in being curious, you’re learning.” - Julie Baumgardner  “If you can tell that money is creating stress, what is it about money that’s stressful?” - Julie Baumgardner  “Keep your eyes wide open for where God is calling you to join Him in his work. Be aware, and where you see a need, be a Kingdom builder. ” - Julie Baumgardner    QUESTIONS FOR YOU: What matters most to the two of you when it comes to money? It’s never too late to define your core values around money in your marriage.  What is it about money that’s stressful?  If it’s “what ifs," then name the what-ifs and talk through them.    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  We found Julie’s article on this topic SO helpful: Do finances in childhood impact your marriage? Research says yes Winshape Marriage online and on Instagram Find the Money Habitudes game online  🎉 Giveaway time! We are giving away a bundle of our TOP 3 RESOURCES of 2023: 44 Tips to Better Sex in Marriage, 21 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and 21 Day Wife Appreciation Challenge! To enter just leave an honest review of the podcast wherever you listen, screenshot it, send in to info@awesomemarriage.com. Giveaway ends 12/15 10am CST. Dr. Kim’s newest book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half is now available as an eBook! Grab your copy here! We want to help you make 2024 your best married year yet with 12 Marriage Resolutions for the New Year! Click though for all the details of this uplifting resource! 

Is it possible to parent without fear of the teen years? We say yes! So does today’s guest, Kristen Hatton. We are delighted to have Kristen on the podcast today to share how to prepare for some of the aspects of parenting teens that many parents find daunting.    Episode highlights include:   Kristen shares ways to know if your fears are becoming idols in parenting  Proactive VS reactive parenting: Which one are you?  The difference between overparenting and underparenting and how they affect your kids    *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    QUOTES  “Frequently parents are living in “reactive” mode, and often it’s because we’re just so busy.”  - Kristen Hatton  “If I always say yes to my kids going in different directions with their friends, or being on a travel team, and we’re always just so busy, then all the sudden, church goes by the wayside. Family time goes by the wayside." - Kristen Hatton   “Often, what children experience from their parents is how they view God. So I want them to know my unconditional love and acceptance, so that they see that that’s how God is too.” - Kristen Hatton  QUESTIONS:  To evaluate if something you love has become an idol: Are you holding it with an open palm, or a clenched fist? Can you be OK without it?  Evaluate your emotions to help you see your idols. Ask: Why am I so angry? Why am I so irritable? Is something controlling me? What occupies my time, habits, thoughts, money, and conversations? Talk with your spouse to decide:  What do we want most for our family? How are we doing to get there? What do we want to impart to our kids?  What will we allow? What won’t we allow?  MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Learn more from Kristen:  Follow her @RedemptiveParenting on Instagram Find all of her books and resources at KristenHatton.com  Get Biblical wisdom for parenting teens in her book Parenting Ahead  Our FREE 16 Ways To Navigate the Teenage Years as a Team will help you keep your marriage strong during this season. GIVEAWAY TIME! We are giving away a bundle of our TOP 3 RESOURCES of 2023: 44 Tips to Better Sex in Marriage, 21 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and 21 Day Wife Appreciation Challenge! To enter just leave an honest review of the podcast wherever you listen, screenshot it, send in to info@awesomemarriage.com. Giveaway ends 12/15 10am CST.  Dr. Kim’s newest book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half is now available as an eBook! Grab your copy here!  We want to help you make 2024 your best married year yet with 12 Marriage Resolutions for the New Year! Click though for all the details of this uplifting resource! 

Holiday season is upon us, and with it all things festive! I’m guessing your schedule didn’t have much extra space to begin with, so now there’s a risk of becoming truly overbooked. How can your marriage be a priority, even with so much going on?  Today Dr. Kim is sharing several of his best tips for prioritizing your marriage, even in this busy season.  We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.  Episode highlights include:  Ways to share the load of holiday tasks & preparation better  How prioritizing your marriage this season can decrease your stress  Dr. Kim’s 5 ways to prioritize your marriage this season  How to implement this if you aren’t on the same page right now Tips to de-stress your holiday gatherings and enjoy them more  *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!  QUOTES:  “It doesn’t have to be a whole evening, it doesn’t even have to be a whole hour. It can be just 15 minutes, but you protect that time.”  - Dr. Kim Kimberling   “I think quality time is one of the most important things we do in a marriage, and it also seems to be one of the easiest to bump.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling  “Make sure you're on the same page together, then enjoy it together.”  - Dr. Kim Kimberling  “There’s so much unnecessary tension you can eliminate if you can start to use team language and work together.” - Lindsay Few     QUESTIONS  What is one favorite Christmas tradition you and your spouse have, just for the two of you?    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  GIVEAWAY TIME! We are giving away a bundle of our Top 3 Resources of 2023: Our 44 Tips to Better Sex in Marriage, 21 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and 21 Day Wife Appreciation Challenge! To enter just leave an honest review of the podcast wherever you listen, screenshot it, send in to info@awesomemarriage.com. Giveaway ends 12/15 10am EST.  Dr. Kim’s newest book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half is now available as an eBook! Grab your copy here!  Related episode: “What is team Language? Ep. 501”  

You can reduce the stress and conflict in your marriage simply by creating margin. Today’s episode unpacks several practical ways to create margin in your marriage. Scripture demonstrates how essential a healthy mindset is, so all month we’re getting practical about how to cultivate a healthy mindset and a healthy marriage. Tune into today’s episode to learn how to create margin in your marriage.   We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage!    Episode highlights include:  The practice Dr. Kim recommends to help you build margin into your marriage and the free resource we offer to make this simple to do Mindset shifts to help you find margin Practical ways to prioritize your marriage    *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    QUOTES “It’s not just carving out more time for each other, it’s how you use that time.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling “We talk about your home and marriage being a refuge. You want to create that.”  - Dr. Kim Kimberling “It’s worth the effort to get intentional about this and get on the same page, so you can tackle it as a team.” Lindsay Few  “Learning to really listen makes a big difference. There’s so much value to feeling heard, and knowing that your spouse cares to really listen.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling “One thing that really helped us is when we realized we were not each other’s enemy.”   - Dr. Kim Kimberling “Be ok with being counter cultural if that’s what’s best for your family and your marriage.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling QUESTIONS:  How can you and your spouse work together to create more margin in your marriage?  How can you work together to create a culture of grace in your marriage?  What do you really want for your marriage? What do you need to say no to in this season to make that happen?    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Contentment doesn’t come easily, but is more than worth the effort. Take the steps to grow your contentment with our 15-Day Contentment Challenge! It’s yours for a donation of ANY amount to the ministry of Awesome Marriage this Giving Tuesday!  Dr. Kim highly recommends a Weekly Check In for every couple  – so to make this simple for you, we have created a Weekly Marriage Check In Guide. You can snag this resource for free when you sign up for the One Thing to Grow Your Marriage email series! We really enjoyed the book “Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” mentioned in today’s episode

Cut the stress out of gift giving this Christmas. If shopping for your spouse (and anyone else on your list) feels daunting, this episode is for you. In this episode Patrick Kucharson, the Better Gift Coach, shares how to give gifts that will resonate with their recipients, strategies to become a better gift-giver, and great gift tips for any budget (including free!). Tune in to learn more!    Episode highlights include:  Simple strategies to know what they really want  Why you need to make brainstorming gift ideas a team sport - and who to recruit to your team The categories of not-so-good gifts you do not want to fall into this Christmas!  Patrick’s Golden Rule of Gift-Giving   *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    QUOTES “How much thought you put into a gift doesn’t necessarily translate into the value the gift recipient will assign to it.” - Patrick Kucharson  “Give gifts that you know they want to receive, over gifts that you want to give.” - Patrick Kucharson  “It’s showing that you appreciate them. You’re listening.”  - Patrick Kucharson  “A shortcut for gift-giving: Look around, take note of the negatives, and try to give gifts that will remove them.” - Patrick Kucharson  QUESTIONS:  What’s your favorite gift you’ve given your spouse, and what made it great?  Who can you recruit to your “gift brainstorming team” this season?    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Patrick’s Better Gift Coach free weekly email is every bit as entertaining and insightful Patrick was on today’s podcast! Sign up HERE!  You can also find him on Instagram In the midst of all the gift talk, take time to look for something only God can give: Contentment. Grad our 15-Day Contentment Challenge with your donation of ANY amount and pursue true contentment.

Gratitude is a powerful mindset – it affects our mind, our marriage, even our physical health!  Scripture is clear that our mindset is very important, so this month we’re digging into how to cultivate a healthy mindset and a healthy marriage. Today we’re talking about the power of gratitude. What makes this trait so important, and how can we cultivate it? Tune in for all the details!  Episode highlights include:  Dr. Kim and Lindsay share how gratitude helped them each deal with depression The way gratitude helps your marriage and your outlook on life Why growing in gratitude actually ends up leading to – more gratitude! Practical ways to cultivate gratitude in every day  *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    QUOTES “I think we’re wired to give thanks and be grateful to God.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling  “When we acknowledge on a regular basis what we’re thankful for, we tend to be happier and less depressed.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling  “It’s looking at what’s actually happening in my life. What is God doing? What is here today? It brings you back into the present.”-  Lindsay Few  “I think the more we acknowledge who He is in our lives and worship him for that, that goes a long way to changing our gratitude.”  - Dr. Kim Kimberling  “I don't think God put us together to grumble for 50 years. I think He put us together to grow, to learn, and to be grateful.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling   “I think it helps us to serve our spouse and serve our God better when our frame of mind is healthier. And I think gratitude makes it healthier.” -  Dr. Kim Kimberling   QUESTIONS So many things in the world are out of our control, but God IS in control. What is 1 reason you are thankful that He is in control today?  When you think something good about your spouse, say it! What do you appreciate about your spouse?  What is 1 thing you can do to be more present with your spouse today?   MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Contentment doesn’t come easily, but is more than worth the effort! Grab our 15-Day Contentment Challenge with a donation of ANY amount to the ministry of Awesome Marriage this Giving Tuesday! LEARN MORE HERE! The 27 Scripture Prayer Cards resource is a beautiful way to remember scripture and to bring the power of prayer into your marriage each day! It’s the perfect time to sign up for Dr. Kim’s daily One Thing to Grow Your Marriage email series, since this week’s emails give you simple ways to practice gratitude with your spouse

Has blame crept into your marriage? If so, your marriage is certainly suffering its effects. But it does not have to stay that way! Today Dr. Kim helps you discover how to identify and remove this damaging habit from your marriage.   Scripture is clear that our mindset matters, and that we have the ability to change our minds! So this month we’re digging into how to cultivate a healthy mindset and a healthy marriage. Dig in today to start dismantling the blame. Episode highlights include:  How to identify - and break - subtle blame patterns  Why expecting each spouse to give their 50% share to the marriage just doesn’t add up  Dr. Kim and Lindsay get real about how blame has impacted their marriages  How to remove blame from our efforts to show our spouse love How to address the issue healthily instead  *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Dr. Kim mentioned this article from Harvard Health in the episode Contentment doesn’t come easily, but it’s SO worth the work! Get our 15-Day Contentment Challenge with a donation of ANY amount to the ministry of Awesome Marriage this Giving Tuesday! Learn more here!  15 Daily Prayers Bundle  More mindset resources:  Dr. Kim’s Mind Craft Plan Switch On Your Brain by Dr. Leaf (includes the “21-Day Brain Detox”)