Sober Curious

When you're a professional DJ, drinking comes with the territory. In this week's episode, Ruby chats with DJ Paulette, a nightlife veteran of 27 years, about her decision to quit booze after a diabetes scare, and the impact of this on her party friendships. Now in her early 50s, and with her career still going strong, this is also a story of how Paulette learned to prioritize her own wellbeing. Having experienced mental health issues in her 20s, these reappeared after she became the chief carer for her mother after she became sick, while also battling an opioid addiction. In this episode, we also discuss: -The challenges of being sober curious as a nightlife professional. -The links between drinking and diabetes. -Navigating friendships in sobriety—and being honest about your “why” for not drinking. -The very personal choice not to medicate mental health issues. -Signs of “carer fatigue”—and why it's important to ask for help when you're a helper. -Alcohol and its effects on the menopause. -Top tools for managing your moods naturally. Visit Djpaulette.co.uk for upcoming gigs and links to Paulettes mixes and radio shows. This episode was created in partnership with Grüvi and Lyre's.

When quitting drinking is a catalyst to deep soul healing, a massive awakening, and a whole new career! In this episode, Ruby talks to tarot reader and healer Lindsay Mack about how sobriety was a gateway to the breakdown / breakthrough that helped her finally confront the ghosts of the past and step into her healing gifts. A survivor of childhood abuse, Lindsay acknowledges how she turned to medicating with alcohol as a stand-in for more profound healing modalities—and how this prevented her from moving forward. In this episode we also discuss: -What our body is telling us when we have an allergic reaction to alcohol. -Using alcohol to mask misunderstood intuitive, psychic, and empathetic healing gifts. -Being the only sober person in a family of “passionate drinkers.” -The breakdown / breakthough that led to her addressing her childhood trauma and PTSD. -Emotions and feelings as signposts for how to use our power and our gifts. -Alcohol as a way to perpetuate abuse and self-harm when it's all we know. -Using the tarot to understand addiction and as a tool for self-healing. You can learn more about Lindsay and her work at Lindsaymack.com and check out her podcast, Tarot for The Wild Soul, for more mystical wisdom. My partners for this episode are Gruvi and Lyre's, and you can check out all my upcoming events and retreats at Rubywarrington.com/events

Quitting drinking is both a personal and a political act. In this episode, Ruby talks to Club Soda UK founder Laura Willoughby about reconnecting with her activist roots through sobriety, and how drinking in the face of adversity is a sure-fire way to give away your agency and personal power. Laura shares her drinking history as a young politico who became disillusioned with the system, as well as her journey creating one of the biggest sober / sober curious communities both on and offline. In this episode we also discuss: -Living life in “high def” – and feeling all your feelings. -How alcohol changes the wiring in your brain. -The lasting impact of ladette culture and hard drinking being seen as “feminist." -Drinking dreams and what they mean. -How to create and host your own sober meetups. -Navigating the booming alcohol-free drinks industry. -Not drinking as an act of rebellion (and how to be a non-drinker and still fit in). -Embracing shades of grey when it comes to quitting. Learn more about Laura and Club Soda HERE and join the community on Facebook. You can also pre-order the Club Soda book, How To Be A Mindful Drinker (out Dec 262019) HERE. Season 2 of the Sober Curious podcast is sponsored by Grüvi. Get 20% off all online orders at www.getgruvi.com with the code Ruby20.

This week's guest is Arlan Hamilton, an entrepreneur and founder of Backstage Capital - a venture capital fund that invests exclusively in high-potential, and what Arlan calls “underestimated” founders, meaning people of color, women, and/or who identify as LGBTQ. Arlan shares her back story as a high-functioning alcoholic, including how she even managed to secure the first investor for her fund while sleeping rough on the floor of San Francisco airport and drinking every day. Her drinking history took many turns before she found the book that changed EVERYTHING (clue: it's not Sober Curious!)—while realizing her own worth has been integral to her staying sober. In this episode we also discuss: -Being a high-functioning habitual drinker. -How she justified and normalized excessive drinking. -Alcohol as a way to de-sensitize herself to over-stimulation. -A disastrous attempt to replace booze with marijuana to manage anxiety. -Learning to understand her value and getting “financial sobriety.” -Why, when it comes to inequality of society, it is time to stop live the “drunken lie.” -Why money, like alcohol, only makes you more of what you already are. You can learn more about Backstage Capital (including the 2020 tour) HERE and follow Arlan on Instagram. I partnered on this series with Grüvi—and you can get 20% off any online order at www.getgruvi.com with the code Ruby20

Is it the challenge of lifelong abstinence that keeps so many people from addressing problem drinking? In this week's episode, I talk to Dr. Adi Jaffe, author of The Abstinence Myth, about his theory that quitting doesn't always have to be forever. It's a controversial stance, and one that pivots on the fact that when you have a problem with alcohol, alcohol isn't the problem. Rather than demonize the booze, Adi's approach is to focus on addressing whatever a person is medicating (with alcohol and other drugs)—the theory being that problematic drinking will be eradicated along with these underlying problems. A former habitual drug user himself, and now "regular social drinker," in this episode Adi and I also discuss: -His personal history with drug abuse, and what led to him getting hooked -The four factors that influence the way we use substances: biology, psychology, location, and spirituality -Why only you can take responsibility for the way you are drinking -Finding your purpose as a key to sustainable “recovery” -Sitting in the discomfort to get clear about what needs to change in your life -Honesty and radical self-acceptance as the cornerstone of maintaining a healthy relationship with alcohol Follow Adi on Instagram and learn more his work at www.igntd.com. You can also hear him speak, along with over 20 leading names in the wellness space, at IGNTD Glow—a 3-day holistic recovery event in Los Angeles, October 18-20 2019. This episode was created in partnership with Grüvi—get 20% off all online orders with the code Ruby20 at www.getgruvi.com

Is addiction genetic, or an inherited coping mechanism for unhealed ancestral trauma? In this episode, Ruby talks to Dr. Jennifer Mullan, the clinical psychologist and community organizer behind Instagram account @DecolonizingTherapy, about otherness, feeling safe in our bodies, and an awakening to mental health issues as part of our evolutionary process. Jenn is on a mission to democratize access to talk therapy, and in this wide-ranging and super-enlightening conversation she and Ruby get deep into the weeds of the inequalities and core, systemic wounds that underlie so many addictions and self-soothing behaviors—and which have often be passed down from generation to generation. In this episode we also discuss: -Alcohol vs. cannabis as a coping mechanism -Feeling safe to be yourself in a world that fears the "other." -The power and importance of peer-to-peer counseling. -The cult of individualism vs. our collectivistic needs. -How to recognize and use our privilege. -How generational trauma gets passed down – along with coping mechanisms. -The danger of framing healing as “work," with a specific goal or outcome attached. -The pros and cons of the rise of Instagram therapists. You can discover more about Jenn and her work with Decolonizing Therapy HERE and follow her on Instagram. Learn about anti-racism work with The People’s Institute for Survival and Beyond HERE. This episode was created in partnership with Grüvi—get 20% off any online order with the code Ruby20 at www.getgruvi.com.

Social anxiety is one of the key drivers behind alcohol abuse—often stemming from low self-esteem. My guest in this episode is celebrated British hairdresser Adam Reed, who become one of my first Sober Curious role models when he quit drinking in 2011. I've since followed his story—and rising star—from afar, and I invited him on because I wanted to hear his whole journey from obnoxious, angry drunk, to mega successful entrepreneur and mentor. This interview is raw, and emotional, and real, and I came away from our encounter feeling like we had met properly for the first time, despite moving in the same circles for years. In this episode, we also discuss: Being bullied as a child for being gay—and the imprint it left on him. The drunk "persona" he hid behind to stop people getting close. His personal (and very public) rock bottom—and the destructive behaviors that led to it. The importance and impact of interventions from friends. The tools he has found to manage anxiety, panic attacks, and insomnia post-booze. Becoming an advocate for CBD and how to use it therapeutically. You can learn more about Adam and his work and follow him on Instagram HERE. This episode was created in partnership with Grüvi—and you can get 20% off any online order at www.getgruvi.com with the code Ruby20

How quitting or cutting back on drinking will impact your social life is the number one concern of many people when getting Sober Curious, and my guest this week has been a pioneer in de-stigmatizing sober socializing. Radha Agwaral is the founder of Daybreaker, the early morning sober dance parties that have become a global phenomenon since her first event in New York in 2015—now catering to a tribe of 500,000 booze-free hedonists all around the world! Radha is also a lifelong community-builder, and her 2018 book Belong: Find Your People, Create Community & Live a More Connected Life, is a master-class in aligning your social connections with the highest vision for your life. In this episode we discuss: -How to create sober social meet-ups, parties, and events. -Radha's definition of "sober," meaning to life a life of clarity, passion, and purpose. -The exact exercise Radha used to change up her social life when she was getting Sober Curious at age 30. -Why partying sober is a natural way to get a D.O.S.E (!) of Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. -How labels like "introvert" and "extrovert" can be limiting—as we are all "ambiverts" in the right social setting. -The true meaning of the words "community" and "belonging"—and why we need these more than ever! Learn more about Radha and her work HERE, find a Daybreaker event in a city near you, and get more of Radha's wisdom in her book, Belong. My partners for this episode are Grüvi (get 20% off with the code Ruby20 at Getgruvi.com) and Athletic Brewing Co.

The first episode of Season 2 is an interview with Rachael Welford of Welford Wellbeing, a British healer and energy worker who's only dream as a kid was "to be a raver when I grew up." Rachael shares her story of gravitating towards a work-hard-play-hard lifestyle as a way of medicating underlying mental health issues, and the breakdown that eventually led to her getting "sober curious" and quitting drinking for good. In this episode, we discuss: What people mean when they say they don't "trust" non-drinkers Why drinking is so normalized in our culture "Burnout" as a sign that an underlying mental health issue needs to be addressed Why it is time to de-stigmatize depression Healing from trauma and thriving in recovery How to create healthy new habits that support our mental and emotional wellbeing You can learn more about Rachael and her work at www.welfordwellbeing.com. Season 2 of the Sober Curious podcast is supported by Grüvi, and you can get 20% off any onLine order at www.getgruvi.com with the code RUBY20.

In the final episode of Season One, Ruby talks to long-time friend and collaborator Sah D'Simone, a meditation coach and spiritual teacher, about his own sober awakening, and how living substance-free can help us align with who we truly are. Sah begins by sharing his own history with substances and how this was interwoven with his experiences as an immigrant to the US and then career as a magazine editor in NYC. As well as his subsequent awakening and journey of self-discovery studying with spiritual masters across the globe, in this interview we also discuss: The impact of alcohol on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual level How Buddhist philosophy mirrors the Sober Curious approach Sah's experiences of dating sober on the LGBTQIA scene What it means to live in alignment with what he calls the "spiritual heart" Ways to manage anxiety and cultivate more positivity in your life. You can learn more about Sah and his work HERE and follow him on Instagram @sahdsimone. This episode was created in partnership with Athletic Brewing Co.