Relationship Coaching School Podcast

This week I spoke with Jeff Salzman about Integral Theory (the idea that culture and consciousness have been, and will continually evolve) and how it applies to what’s shaping our world right now. If you want another frame to help you understand turbulent times, this will be helpful. Listen here for the full episode.   Useful Links: https://www.dailyevolver.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/DailyEvolver https://twitter.com/dailyevolver https://relationshipschool.com/relationshipmastery/ https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow https://www.gettingtozerobook.com

Join Ellen and I for a special ‘Ask-Me-Anything’ episode where we tackle some listener questions: What Do I try talking to my husband about something that bothers me and his first and continual reaction is anger and defensiveness? What are your thoughts on dating someone with addictions? Is it reason enough to leave, should people be given grace, Is it a big enough issue to stay away entirely?  Is there a situation where refusing to get an STD test isn’t a red flag? When kids grow up watching their parents angrily go to their rooms/leave the house which implicitly teaches them that emotions are overwhelming and/or scary. This understanding can easily translate into our kids dissociating from their emotions (retreating into screen addiction,  or other behavioral issues, and later, as adults, into emotional eating, substance abuse, porn addiction, etc.). It starts with you as a parent taking the lead and role modeling for them how to feel/process their emotions, and speak to their experience, without under/over parenting.   Useful Links:  https://relationshipschool.com/relationshipmastery/ https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow https://www.gettingtozerobook.com

Do you know the difference between neuro-diverse, neuro-divergent, and neuro-typical? Did you know 1 out of 48 people identify as neuro-divergent, and that nowadays the terms ‘aspergers’ and “high-functioning” are outdated?  Are you confident you’re using language such as ‘the spectrum’ respectfully and accurately? Join me this week while I speak to Grace Myhill, a couples coach who specializes in working with neuro-diverse clients and learn some of her tools that will help all couples (and ourselves).   Useful Links: https://www.gracemyhill.com/ https://relationshipschool.com/relationshipmastery/ https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow https://www.gettingtozerobook.com  

What do you do as a parent when your child won’t do what you want/need them to do? Are you evoking healthy boundaries as part of your parenting practice? If being honest, have you ever heard yourself pathologizing your child as a means of justifying your parenting choices (i.e. my kid is strong-willed…)? Does your kid call the shots, and you feel you need some direction on how to take the leadership reins back?  Join Ellen and I to discuss the types of challenges parents face today and pick up some tips to up your parenting game. Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/community/ https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow https://www.gettingtozerobook.com  

Have your thoughts been circling around prenups before you get married? Or, are you on the edge of a separation or divorce Want to learn a bit more about meditation, child support, spousal support, alimony, asset division and schedule collaboration? Take a listen to my recent conversation with family lawyer Evan Schein. Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/relationshipmastery/ https://relationshipschool.com/rct/ https://relationshipschool.com/community/ https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow https://www.gettingtozerobook.com

This week we celebrate our 400th episode with a special “Fam Jam” episode. Join Ellen and I as we chat with our kids, about what it’s like in our family and what they notice about other families.  Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/relationshipmastery/ https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow https://www.gettingtozerobook.com

What do you do if you and your partner don’t have a baseline (a place of ease and security to which you can return post-conflict)? Have you ever felt you’ve ‘given up everything’ for a partner? Do you and your partner have shared values? Have you made a fierce, deep commitment to one another?  Jayson and Ellen tackle some of your questions in this AMA episode, drawing on their knowledge and experiences of ups, downs, and reconnects that go hand in hand with long-term relationships.   Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/relationshipmastery/ https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow https://www.gettingtozerobook.com

Do you ever feel defensive, blamed, angry, or hurt when someone says, “you make me feel….”? Have you heard of “spiritual cock-blocking?” This week Ellen and I talk about the potent and simple “I feel” statements and how we impact one another and influence each other’s feelings and experiences by simply co-existing in the same space, both positively and negatively. Learn how to navigate these difficult conversations by sharing ‘Impact Statements’ (a communication technique that leads with empathy while advocating for your experience) instead of pointing the finger and blaming/shaming someone for making you feel a certain way or using an impact statement if you’re on the receiving end of such a statement. Try to remember that conflict is essential in any healthy relationship because it offers the opportunity to repair, to get to know each other better, to be collaborative, all key elements in building security, resilience and trust. Useful Links: Sharing Impact 2.0 Episode https://relationshipschool.com/rmasterclass/ https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow https://www.gettingtozerobook.com

Here are my thoughts on the latest school shootings. This one hit me hard. Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/masterclass/ https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow

This week my wife Ellen and I tackle a couple of your questions that got a lot of heat online. Sarah wrestles with how to realistically reassure her partner that she’s not going anywhere when she doesn’t actually know this for a fact (she’s no psychic). Linda wonders about how to reinstall trust and move forward after her partner breaks into her phone and reads a private text conversation. We discuss how our relationships are the strength that can help us deal with the unknowns of tomorrow and appropriate ways of relating in order to steer your relationship toward a secure partnership. Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/masterclass/ https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow https://www.gettingtozerobook.com https://relationshipschool.com/group/