Embracing Intensity

This week on the Embracing Intensity podcast, I’m thrilled to welcome back the always thoughtful and illuminating Brendan Mahan, founder of ADHD Essentials and creator of the Wall of Awful. In this free-flowing and deeply relatable conversation, we dive into the realities of ADHD burnout, navigating screen time, and what it really means to rest. Brendan and I both share personally about our own experiences with burnout and recovery, and how we’re learning to work with our neurodivergent brains instead of against them. About Brendan Mahan: Brendan Mahan is a speaker, coach, and host of the ADHD Essentials Podcast. He specializes in helping families, educators, and individuals better understand ADHD through metaphor, structure, and compassion. Brendan is known for his "Wall of Awful" model—a powerful visual metaphor that helps people identify and move through the emotional blocks that make motivation so hard for those with ADHD. He’s currently working on a book titled Overcoming the Wall of Awful, expected to release in 2026.     In This Episode: The difference between hard fascination and soft fascination, and why the latter is key for real rest What the Default Mode Network is and how it affects neurodivergent minds How screen time mimics rest but often leads to hard fascination and further mental exhaustion The origins of the Wall of Awful and how it helps people understand motivation challenges Tools Brendan uses to access soft fascination, from walks in the woods to weighted pressure The idea of contaminated time and how it sabotages meaningful rest Navigating professional transitions and creative burnout Letting go of transactional relationships and leaning into transformational connection Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to intentionally rebuild from burnout How embracing your values and regulating sensory input can be powerful tools for recovery Reframing burnout as a “season” and holding onto hope that things can and do change 🎧 Tune in to hear a heartfelt, relatable conversation on burnout, ADHD, and the power of slowing down with intention. Whether you're deep in burnout or on the road to recovery, this episode offers compassionate insights and practical tools to help you find your way back to balance.     Resources & Links: Brendan Mahan – ADHD Essentials The Wall of Awful on How to ADHD (YouTube) Embracing Intensity Community  

In this inspiring episode of Embracing Intensity, I’m joined by the vibrant and insightful Fizzah Zaidi, a psychotherapist based in Chicago who works with adults with ADHD, especially those navigating high-pressure environments like tech and finance. We originally connected at an ADHD conference over boots and breakfast, and I’m so excited to bring her energy and wisdom to the podcast! Fizzah shares her journey from a creative career in animation to becoming a mental health professional, her passion for social justice, and how she uses her intensity to empower her clients. Together, we explore what it means to navigate neurodivergence with curiosity, creativity, and self-compassion.     About Fizzah Zaidi: Fizzah is a psychotherapist and former animator who brings her creative flair and social justice focus into her therapeutic practice. Working primarily with high-achieving adults in the finance and tech sectors, she specializes in supporting ADHD and twice-exceptional individuals as they navigate complex challenges in both personal and professional settings. Her approach is multimodal, trauma-informed, and deeply rooted in empathy, humor, and the belief that everyone deserves someone who truly believes in them.     In This Episode: How Fizzah uses creativity and multimodal therapy to connect with clients The role of social justice in her personal and professional intensity Navigating cultural stigma around mental health and emotional expression Toning down to survive: childhood masking and fear of judgment Channeling intensity into advocacy: challenging grad school policies while pregnant Why “being kind to yourself” means embracing your human moments The power of curiosity and education in making sense of your neurodivergent brain Executive function myths: the difference between lacking skills vs. activation Building community care, challenging black-and-white thinking, and supporting clients in discovering their fire   Conclusion: Fizzah reminds us that intensity can be a powerful force for justice, healing, and growth when it’s supported and expressed authentically. Her story highlights the importance of giving ourselves permission to feel, question, and grow in our own unique ways—and supporting others as they do the same. Whether you’re navigating neurodivergence, embracing your emotional depth, or looking for ways to channel your fire, this episode will leave you feeling seen and inspired. 🎧 Tune in now and discover how you, too, can embrace your intensity and turn it into your greatest strength.   Resources & Links: Fizzah Zaidi Psychotherapy Website: fzpsychotherapy.com Connect with Fizzah via Email: Available through her website Located in Chicago? Reach out and grab coffee with Fizzah! PowerZone Toolkit Challenge (Free & Evergreen): embracingintensity.com/toolkit Join the Embracing Intensity Community: community.embracingintensity.com  

After a bit of a break from long-form content, I’m so excited to be back with a solo episode that’s deeply personal and incredibly timely. I’ve missed connecting with you more intimately through the podcast and am looking forward to bringing you more episodes like this in the coming months. Lately, I’ve been diving into the topic of neurodivergent burnout, something I’ve experienced firsthand and that I know many of you can relate to. I’ve written two blog posts on the topic and shared a companion video on YouTube—and even tested out long-form content on TikTok for the first time! This episode is a heartfelt exploration of what burnout can look like for those of us who are gifted, ADHD, autistic, or otherwise neurodivergent, and how we can begin to recover and reconnect with our energy and purpose. About My Experience of Burnout: Over the last three years, I’ve been working through the most intense burnout of my life. It started during the pandemic and lingered far beyond, as I struggled to return to the rhythms of daily life in a world that never truly went "back to normal." Like many neurodivergent individuals, I found myself caught in a cycle of urgency, executive dysfunction, emotional exhaustion, and identity loss—especially as a twice-exceptional adult who spent years masking and pushing through.   Throughout this episode, I share how I began healing by shifting my energy focus, consuming more uplifting media, and building out my self-regulation toolkit. These small but impactful steps helped me start to climb out of burnout and reconnect with my values and purpose. In This Episode: What neurodivergent burnout really is and how it differs from general burnout The impact of executive dysfunction, sensory overload, and masking The "gifted kid burnout" problem and how identity gets tangled in achievement How urgency culture creates cycles of burnout and crash Using the “circle of influence” vs. “circle of concern” to refocus energy Shifting media consumption and moving from doomscrolling to hope scrolling The importance of community care and authentic connection Building a personalized self-regulation toolkit for long-term energy balance Learning to ask for help and receive support without guilt A reminder: burnout is not a personal failure—it’s a survival response Burnout is an all-too-common challenge for neurodivergent people, and it often looks very different from what the general population might expect. For autistic people, ADHD burnout, and other forms of neurodivergent burnout, it’s not just about long hours or hard work—it’s about the constant effort of navigating a neurotypical world without adequate support. The neurodivergent mind processes sensory input, social interaction, and executive function tasks in different ways, often leading to sensory processing issues and emotional exhaustion. Many autistic adults and neurodivergent individuals experience a greater risk of burnout due to the compounding effects of chronic stress, loss of skills, and a deep lack of motivation when support systems are not in place. While neurotypical people may recover from burnout with rest alone, a neurodivergent adult often needs more nuanced strategies to heal—ones that take into account their unique neurodivergent traits, sensory experiences, and cognitive abilities. Burnout can also exacerbate mood disorders like anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Unfortunately, many family members, employers, and even mental health professionals may overlook these common causes, failing to provide the school accommodations, social support, or safe place needed for recovery. Whether it’s through personal experience, insights from advocates or participation in online communities, it’s clear that understanding the term neurodivergent and how it manifests is crucial. Supporting autistic children, ADHD individuals, and all neurodivergent people in reaching their full potential means meeting human needs, addressing sensory processing issues, and creating an ideal world where burnout is not the norm—but a sign that something deeper must be healed. If you’ve been feeling like you’re constantly pushing through exhaustion, struggling to find balance, or wondering why everything feels so hard—you are not alone. Neurodivergent burnout is real, and it’s not a reflection of your worth or capability. It’s a signal that your needs deserve more care, compassion, and community support. Let this episode be a gentle reminder that your intensity is not too much, your rest is valid, and your healing matters. I’d love to hear from you—what topics would you like me to explore further on the podcast? And if you’re ready to start building your own toolkit for energy balance and self-regulation, check out the PowerZone Toolkit Challenge, now available anytime you need it.   🎧 Listen now and take your next step toward recovery and reclaiming your energy.   Resources & Links: PowerZone Toolkit Challenge (now evergreen & free!) Join the Embracing Intensity Community Watch the video on YouTube Follow on TikTok & Instagram: @embracingintensity

In this episode of Embracing Intensity, host Aurora Remember sits down with Caroline J. Sumlin, author of We’ll All Be Free: How a Culture of White Supremacy Devalues Us and How We Can Reclaim Our True Worth. Together, they explore the intersection of intensity, self-worth, and collective liberation. Caroline shares her journey from feeling like she was “too much” to reclaiming her intensity as a gift. They dive into how societal systems—especially those rooted in white supremacy—fuel perfectionism, hustle culture, and the feeling of never being good enough. This conversation is both deeply personal and action-oriented, offering tools for doing the inner work to break free from these toxic systems and reclaim your inherent worth. About Caroline J. Sumlin: Caroline J. Sumlin is a writer, speaker, and educator whose work focuses on dismantling the toxic cultural messages rooted in white supremacy that tell us we are never enough. She empowers individuals—especially Black women and other marginalized communities—to reclaim their self-worth and reimagine a liberated, fulfilling life. Her book, We’ll All Be Free, blends personal narrative, social commentary, and actionable guidance to help readers break free from perfectionism, self-doubt, and societal pressure. In This Episode: The Never-Enough Culture – How systems of white supremacy drive perfectionism and keep us striving to prove our worth. Intensity as a Gift – Caroline’s journey from being labeled “intense” to recognizing her passion as a source of power. Masking and Cultural Expectations – The pressure on Black women to tone down their true selves and “fit in.” Self-Discovery as Liberation – Why examining how systems shape our beliefs is essential to personal and collective freedom. Finding Outlets for Intensity – How Caroline channels her energy through writing, tennis, acting, and music. The Power of Rest and Reclaiming Time – How rest can be a radical act of resistance in a culture that values productivity over well-being. Navigating ADHD and Giftedness – Caroline’s exploration into her own possible neurodivergence and her daughter’s twice-exceptionality journey. Ripple Effect Change – Why small, intentional actions can lead to lasting, collective transformation. Key Takeaways: Your worth is not tied to your productivity. Systems of oppression benefit from keeping us feeling “not enough.” Intensity is a strength when you learn to embrace and channel it. Rest is a radical act of resistance against hustle culture. Small, personal shifts can ripple outward to create collective change. Resources & Links: Caroline’s Website  Follow Caroline on Instagram & Threads: @carolinejsumlin Book: We’ll All Be Free – Support independent bookstores via Bookshop.org Embracing Intensity Community   Embracing Intensity Mastermind (Coupon Code: EARLYBIRD25) Twice-Exceptionality Stories Playlist (YouTube)

In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I’m thrilled to welcome Sheldon Gay, host of the I Must Be Buggin’ podcast. Sheldon brings his insightful perspective on navigating life as a late-identified gifted and neurodivergent individual. His podcast and work are dedicated to amplifying underrepresented voices and empowering others to embrace their unique identities. We explore the challenges and beauty of being true to oneself in a world that often misunderstands intensity, neurodivergence, and giftedness. Sheldon’s passion for self-discovery, emotional depth, and compassionate communication shines through in this powerful conversation. About Sheldon: Sheldon Gay is the host of the I Must Be Buggin’ podcast, where he delves into topics of identity, giftedness, and neurodivergence through the lens of being Black, underrepresented, and gifted. His mission is to create a space for self-awareness, acceptance, and growth, while helping others see and embrace their unique strengths. Sheldon’s background as a late-identified gifted and neurodivergent individual has fueled his passion for helping others on their journey of self-discovery. He brings a thoughtful, empathetic approach to conversations on identity, culture, and the power of authenticity. In This Episode: Navigating Identity as a Late-Identified Neurodivergent Individual – Sheldon shares his journey of discovering his giftedness and neurodivergence later in life. Ask vs. Guess Culture – A deep dive into communication styles, cultural nuances, and how self-awareness can help bridge differences. The Power of Self-Discovery – Reflections on how shadow work and embracing authenticity can lead to freedom from shame and guilt. Intensity and Emotional Depth – Exploring how Sheldon’s intellectual curiosity and emotional intensity shape his interactions and relationships. Cultural Expectations and Exceptionalism – Discussing the pressures faced by marginalized communities and how giftedness intersects with cultural identity. Truth with Compassion – The importance of sharing truth in ways that create connection and understanding rather than division. Resources & Links: Sheldon’s Website: Sheldon Gay is Buggin Listen to the I Must Be Buggin’ podcast Learn more about Sheldon’s speaking engagements Explore his neuroaffirming and anti-racist merchandise Join the Embracing Intensity Community  Connect with Aurora: Embracing Intensity Sheldon’s thoughtful reflections and passion for empowering others provide invaluable insights for anyone navigating their own journey of self-discovery and authenticity. Tune in for an engaging and inspiring conversation! Listen now and share your thoughts with us! 🎧✨

The Science of Writing to Heal with Nneka Denise In this episode of Embracing Intensity, we’re excited to share the Q&A portion of our powerful conversation with Nneka Denise, founder of the Write to Heal Project. This discussion offers timely tools and insights as we reflect on letting go of the past year and preparing for a fresh, intentional start in the new year. Nneka shares her transformative approach to healing through writing, addressing grief not only as it relates to loss but also to life transitions, personal growth, and emotional clarity. Whether you’re navigating stress, seeking emotional release, or exploring creative outlets, this episode provides practical strategies to help you move forward. About Nneka Denise Nneka Denise is the founder of the Write to Heal Project and a trained end-of-life and bereavement doula based in the Portland-Vancouver area. Through journaling, visualization, and somatic practices, Nneka helps individuals process grief, trauma, and life’s emotional challenges. She also runs the New Wellness Center in downtown Portland, a collective of holistic healing practitioners offering vibrational sound baths, Reiki, massage, and emotional wellness support. In This Episode: The Science of Writing to Heal – How writing can help process emotions, grief, and transitions in life. Practical Writing Strategies – Tips for using gratitude journaling, brain dumps, and affirmations to create a daily healing practice. Ceremonial Release – The power of burning or shredding written emotions as a symbolic act of letting go. Affirmations for Healing – How to create affirmations that feel believable and achievable, guiding you toward positive change. Navigating Writing Challenges – Nneka’s advice for those with ADHD, dyslexia, or writing apprehensions, including voice dictation and alternative methods. Resources & Links: Connect with Nneka on Instagram: @nneka_denise Contact Nneka via email: nneka.denise@gmail.com Learn about the New Wellness Center in Downtown Portland (10th & Morrison) Explore the Embracing Intensity Community and Memberships. Preorder Aurora’s workbook, Energy Balance (Kindle edition), available this Friday, December 20th. Nneka’s work offers invaluable tools for self-reflection, healing, and emotional growth through the simple yet profound act of writing. Whether you’re a lifelong journaler or just beginning your healing journey, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you process emotions and step into the new year with intention. Listen now and take the first step toward embracing your own healing process! 🎧✨

In this highly engaging episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora Remember Holtzman dives deep into the world of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) with Bob Yamtich, a seasoned practitioner with over 20 years of experience. Bob shares how NVC has shaped his approach to relationships, parenting, and self-understanding, particularly as a neurodivergent individual. This conversation is packed with practical insights and tools for those seeking to enhance their self-connection and interpersonal communication. About Bob Yamtich: Bob Yamtich is a dedicated Nonviolent Communication trainer, therapist, and engineer. His journey into NVC began after his career as an environmental engineer, driven by his desire to contribute to societal change through better communication. Bob’s unique approach integrates empathy with analytical insights, honoring the importance of neurodivergence in his work and personal growth. He is a passionate advocate for using NVC as a bridge between self-awareness and impactful communication. In This Episode: Bob’s personal journey with Nonviolent Communication and how it helped him find balance as a bipolar individual. The core principles of NVC: self-connection, empathy, and honesty. How to distinguish between needs and strategies, and why it matters in communication. The concept of holding multiple needs and strategies simultaneously for resilience and creativity. Balancing analytical insights with empathy in understanding neurodivergence. Practical exercises, including identifying three current needs and corresponding strategies. How NVC fosters community, shared power, and collaborative problem-solving. Bob’s experiences teaching NVC to diverse audiences, including children and incarcerated individuals. The shift from “battle mode” to “build mode” in creating meaningful connections. Links and Resources: Learn more about Nonviolent Communication and its principles here. Learn more about Bob on his website! Explore Aurora’s Neurodivergent Toolbox and other resources at the Embracing Intensity Shop. Get 25% off Aurora's digital products and memberships with code BIRTHDAY24 (valid until Dec 2). Whether you're new to Nonviolent Communication or a seasoned practitioner, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable strategies for enriching your connections with yourself and others. Tune in for a thought-provoking and uplifting discussion!

This episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, features a detailed conversation with Heather Borman Morris about understanding narcissistic relationships and how they uniquely affect gifted and neurodivergent individuals. Heather, a clinical social worker, shares her personal experience with narcissistic abuse, providing insights on identifying covert narcissism versus mere intense interest, particularly in neurodivergent or twice-exceptional individuals. The discussion delves into strategies for recognizing and managing toxic relationships, differentiating between narcissism and authentic behaviors, and emphasizes the need for understanding personal boundaries and fostering healthy relationships post-abuse. The episode also introduces Heather's work, including her book 'A Thousand Paper Cuts' and the podcast 'Starting Stronger'. About Heather: Heather Boorman-Morris is a renowned therapist, speaker, and author dedicated to helping individuals heal and thrive after experiencing toxic relationships. With over two decades of experience in the field, Heather specializes in trauma recovery, relationship dynamics, and neurodivergent mental health. She is the founder of Starting Stronger and the author of the acclaimed book Thousand Paper Cuts: Finding Healing in the Aftermath of a Narcissist. Heather’s compassionate approach and deep understanding of complex emotional landscapes make her a sought-after expert in the journey towards healthy, fulfilling relationships. In this episode: Heather joins the podcast to discuss navigating healthy relationships, focusing on narcissistic abuse. Heather shares her experience of being in an abusive relationship and later discovering covert narcissism. Discussion on the targeting of neurodivergent individuals by narcissists, highlighting their traits like empathy and ambition. Differences between overt and covert narcissists are outlined, including their stages of relationship: idealization, devaluation, and discard. Strategies like mirroring used by manipulators in relationships are explained. Emphasis on trusting one's body and intuition as indicators of being in a toxic relationship. Conversation on distinguishing between love bombing and genuine neurodivergent intensity. Importance of taking time to build relationships and recognizing genuine intentions. Discussion about the impact of past trauma and hyper-vigilance when forming new relationships. Resources: Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events! Embracing Intensity Memberships Starting Stronger Podcast A Thousand Papercuts Interoception Website

In this enriching episode, Aurora hosts Marc, who shares his profound insights on neurodivergent leadership. Marc introduces himself by recounting his journey with ADHD, from his early school years to receiving his diagnosis at 16. This pivotal moment spurred him to embrace and understand his unique brain function, leading to his certification as an ADHD life coach. Marc speaks proudly of founding the Men's ADHD Support Group, a 501c3 nonprofit with over 17,000 members, aiming to empower men with ADHD. He emphasizes the importance of leveraging the inherent strengths of neurodivergent individuals rather than conforming to societal norms. Marc's empathetic and mentorship-driven leadership style, rooted in his personal experiences, serves as a testament to the potential and efficacy of neurodivergent leaders. He addresses challenges such as imposter syndrome, the importance of passion in leadership, and strategies for effective communication within his organization. The discussion also touches on the nuances of the ADHD label, stressing a balanced view that acknowledges both strengths and challenges. About Marc: Marc Almodovar Jr. is a neurodiversity advocate and the founder of the ADHD Men’s Support Group, a safe space where men with ADHD can connect with others who share common experiences and challenges. Marc’s personal experience with ADHD led him to feel isolated and misunderstood, and he recognized the need for a supportive community. He believes that by fostering a sense of belonging and acceptance within the group, men with ADHD can advocate for neurodiversity awareness and acceptance within society as a whole. As a mental health advocate, Marc recognizes the stigma surrounding mental illness and strives to create a space where men with ADHD can feel safe and supported regardless of their unique ways of thinking and experiencing the world. He is passionate about raising awareness about neurodiversity and helping people understand the diverse ways in which people experience the world. With a balance of authenticity and positivity, Marc inspires others to embrace their unique strengths and connect with others within the neurodiverse community. In this episode: Marc discusses his experience with ADHD, including his diagnosis at 16 and its impact on his life. He shares how understanding his brain led him to personal development and becoming an ADHD life coach. Founding the Men's ADHD Support Group, a non-profit organization with over 17,000 members. People with ADHD often have strong leadership qualities. Leveraging strengths rather than conforming to societal norms. The importance of mentorship and leading by example. Personal and societal challenges neurodivergent leaders face, such as imposter syndrome and self-criticism. The value of self-affirmations and support systems in overcoming these challenges. Negative feedback and misconceptions about ADHD, especially related to gender. The need for safe spaces for men with ADHD and dispelling myths around the condition. Giving constructive feedback while staying authentic. Using “kind candor” and focusing on team collaboration to improve feedback delivery. Resources available for partners of men with ADHD, including support groups and public content. The debate around viewing ADHD as a gift versus a disorder. Recognizing both the strengths and challenges of ADHD without labeling it strictly as one or the other. Resources: Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events! Embracing Intensity Memberships Join the ADHD Men’s Support Group Follow the ADHD Men’s Support Group on Twitter Follow Marc on Twitter  

This week on the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora discusses the transformative power of music with guest Princess Fortier. Princess shares her personal journey of using singing to alleviate her chronic migraines, which began at the age of 13. Despite initially pursuing neuroscience to find a medical cure, she discovered that singing provided significant relief from her symptoms. Aurora and Princess delve into how music can relax, heal, and foster emotional well-being, particularly for those with neurodivergent traits like ADHD and autism. They also explore the importance of community in musical healing practices and offer practical advice for using music and singing as therapeutic tools. Tips for finding and creating musical communities are discussed, along with the benefits of engaging in sound baths and circle singing. About Princess: Princess Fortier is a dynamic musician, speaker, and advocate for mental health and neurodivergence. With a rich background in using music as a therapeutic tool, she has dedicated her career to helping others find healing and self-expression through creative outlets. Princess's work emphasizes the emotional and psychological benefits of music, drawing from her personal experiences and professional expertise to inspire and empower her audience. She is known for her engaging and heartfelt presentations, making complex topics accessible and relatable to diverse audiences. In this Episode: Princess shares how music has helped her understand and process emotions, learn about love, and find healing. Aurora introduces the "Embracing Intensity" podcast, aimed at gifted, creative, twice-exceptional individuals. Moving to a single monthly episode improved downloads. Princess discusses her journey studying neuroscience to find a cure for her migraines. Singing during a migraine attack unexpectedly relieved her symptoms. Aurora opens up Q&A, asking Princess about factors contributing to music helping with migraines. Princess explains the potential of music to relax and align with one's purpose, influencing mental and physical well-being. Community involvement in singing and music is encouraged for healing and creativity. Practical suggestions for engaging in music, such as joining choirs or attending sound bowl classes. Discussion on how specific songs and types of music can be personalized for therapeutic benefit. Auroras' philosophy: using her platform to allow others to share their voices. Princess's invitation to explore creating and experiencing music for personal therapy. Closing remarks emphasize continuing conversation and participating in the Embracing Intensity community. Aurora concludes with invitations to join the community for support and access to tools for self-regulation. Resources: Princess on Instagram Princess’ Website Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events! Embracing Intensity Memberships