The Living Truth Podcast - Freedom From Unwanted Sexual Behavior, Hope & Healing For the Betrayed

In part two of our conversation on betrayal trauma anger, Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck walks us through her seven-phase CALM model, developed from years of working with betrayed partners.   In this episode we cover: The crisis phase, where anger feels uncontrollable and out of character The awareness and leveling phases, where shame surfaces and self-care becomes essential The management and intuition phases, where deeper healing work and self-trust rebuild The normalization and grief phases, where anger settles into its place inside a larger story How the story of Job frames post-traumatic growth as evidence of restoration, not just endurance   Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, sex therapy, and trauma recovery, and the author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You're Not Crazy, You're Angry, and You Should Be.   Learn more about our programs: Living-truthLiving Truth, Women in the Battle, Men in the Battle | sex addiction   The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal.   #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth

Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck & Kristin discuss anger after sexual betrayal -- what it actually is, why it shows up the way it does, and what both partners can do with it.   In this episode we cover: A clear definition of betrayal trauma anger and why it is immediate and ongoing, not a one-time reaction Survey findings on self-blame, anger at God, and the physical toll unprocessed anger takes on the body How Ephesians 4:26 -- 'be angry and do not sin' -- reframes anger as something to process, not eliminate Concrete ways a betrayer can sit with a partner's anger instead of reacting to it The difference between reactive abuse and abuse, and why that distinction matters Why suppressing anger is just as harmful as exploding with it   Crystal is a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, sex therapy, and trauma recovery, and the author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You're Not Crazy, You're Angry, and You Should Be.   Learn more about our programs: Living-truthLiving Truth, Women in the Battle, Men in the Battle | sex addiction   The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal.   #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth

We often assume our children don't notice what's happening in our marriage during a season of betrayal. Most of the time, they already know more than we think. In this episode with Elia Marcum, certified coach who specializes in walking families through supporting their children and teens through family rupture without placing adult burdens on them. We cover: What kids and teens actually pick up on, even when we think we've hidden it well Age-appropriate language for young children, middle years, and teenagers Why some kids quietly become "the easy one" — and what that survival pattern costs them How to open the door for a child to share what they're carrying, without forcing disclosure What real repair sounds like once a child's trust has been broken Healing in a family doesn't stop at the marriage. It reaches every relationship in the home — and it can begin again at any age.   Grab the free resource Ellia mentions in this episode here Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org Connect with Elia at Moodwell Coaching: https://moodwellcoaching.com Get a free Turning to Peace mini magazine here: https://ttpmagazine.gumroad.com/   The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal.   #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth

We are inundated with negative, objectifying messaging about our bodies in the church and by our culture. As a result, most of us live disconnected from our bodies. When we struggle with pornography, sex addiction, or experience sexual betrayal , many of us experience even more disconnection from our physical bodies and maybe even a load of shame about this vital part of who we are.   Dr. Dave Janvier is a licensed therapist, certified sex therapist, and spiritual director who works at the intersection of faith, neuroscience, psychology, and spiritual formation. What he brings to this episode may reframe almost everything you have been taught about your body, desire, and what God actually intended sexuality to be.   Kristin and Dr. Dave explore: What it means to be embodied — and why most of us, men and women both, are profoundly disconnected from our bodies How the church's legacy of body-shame and flesh-as-sinful thinking has deepened the very wounds it was trying to prevent The healing power of the ancient Hebraic understanding of a unified, integrated self Why sex addiction is, at its root, an intimacy disorder — and why acting out doesn't mean someone is too into their body; it means they're not embodied enough How betrayal trauma fragments the nervous system in specific, predictable ways — and what integration actually requires What scripture reveals about what God's design for sexuality and why sexuality and spirituality cannot be separated A live grounding practice you can use today, in your body, right now Your body is not the enemy. It never was. And the path back to wholeness is more integrated, spiritual, and grounded in hope than you may have been told.   Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org   The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal. #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth 📖 Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org   Connect with Dr. Dave Janvier :https://www.siimdasoulcare.com/ https://siimdasoulcarecourses.thinkific.com/ https://drdavejanvier.substack.com/

Sometimes when the betrayer reaches for the spouse they betrayed it feels like pressure, not comfort. When she pulls away and he hears that as rejection, it can set off a cycle that pulls both further apart -- him bracing against the fear that he's losing her, her bracing against a nervous system that no longer feels safe near him.   In part one of this podcast series, we talked about why it is a normal reaction to the trauma of sexual betrayal for the betrayed partner to want closeness one moment and need distance the next.   In this episode, we go deeper into what that means for both partners, and what it actually looks like to take radical responsibility for our healing.   In this personal conversation about attachment and self-protection we share: How a betrayer's fear of their spouse's distance activates much younger places inside him How noticing a self-protective part in the middle of a hard conversation can change the trajectory of the conflict. Why curiosity and compassion, not explanation or defense, are what actually de-escalate conflict How to care for each other's young, tender places without taking responsibility for healing each other What it looks like when one spouse doing his or her own work creates enough safety for the other to do hers   This is a continuation of part one, but stands on its own if you're joining us here first. Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org   The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal. #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth

You want him close. Then you can't stand to have him near you. You want to fix it. You reach for her — and she disappears. Same day. Sometimes the same hour. That's not confusion or immaturity. It's two nervous systems trying to find safety in a marriage that no longer feels safe — and it's one of the most common, least talked-about dynamics after sexual betrayal. Betrayal doesn't just wound the relationship. It activates attachment patterns and self-protection that trace back long before the marriage began — in both of you. In this episode, we share our personal experience and professional insight into: Why a betrayed partner can want closeness one moment and need distance the next — and why that isn't inconsistency, it's a nervous system doing exactly what nervous systems do What happens inside the betrayer when his spouse pulls away — and why the instinct to push harder or shut down entirely can make things worse How childhood wounds and old self-protective patterns shape both partners' reactions to conflict and distance The difference between coming to your spouse with a genuine, vulnerable need and coming with a demand — and how to tell which one you're doing Why forcing closeness after betrayal can make a betrayed partner feel less safe, not more This conversation is for both of you — the betrayed partner still learning the language of her own attachment, and the betraying partner working to understand what his self-protection is trying to do and why it keeps getting in the way.   Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org   The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal.   #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth

Whether you're a betrayed partner trying to make sense of the chaos inside you, or a man who can't seem to stop behavior he hates — this episode is for you.   Kristin sits down with Jenna Riemersma, LPC - certified IFS therapist, CSAT supervisor, and bestselling author of Altogether You and her newest book Move Toward — to explore what happens when we stop fighting the parts of ourselves we don't like and start moving toward them instead.   Jenna unpacks: Why IFS (Internal Family Systems) is deeply rooted in scripture — and why the image of God inside you is the key to transformation without shame What it actually means to have "parts" — and why feeling torn, contradictory, or out of control doesn't mean something is wrong with you The three-step tool (Notice, Know, Need) you can use in your most triggered moments — no therapist required Why compassion unlocks what control never could, for both the betrayed partner and the person with unwanted sexual behavior How to speak for your parts instead of from them — and why that changes everything in conflict and in healing   This is not a shortcut. It's a different road entirely. Move Toward is available now wherever books are sold. Free resources, guided videos, and downloadable worksheets are available at movetoward.com.   Learn more about our programs:   The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal. #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth #IFS

You thought leaving would be the hard part. You didn't know the hard part was what comes after.   In part two of her conversation with Sarah McDugal, Kristin goes deeper into what happens when a woman decides to end a destructive marriage — and the patterns she's been living with follow her directly into family court. What she thought would be a place of vindication often becomes one more arena where the truth doesn't land the way she expects.   Sarah and Kristin cover: Why family court is not designed for justice — and what it actually is designed to do The single most dangerous misconception conservative Christian women bring into the courtroom Why the betrayed parent often looks like the less stable parent — and what to do about it What "high conflict" really means in court, and why courts misread it almost every time The three-role team every high-risk custody case needs (and why your lawyer and therapist alone aren't enough) The High Conflict Court Case Risk Index — how to assess your risk level before you start Why how you begin the process can save or cost you tens of thousands of dollars A compassionate word about the fear of leaving your children part of the time — and data that may surprise you   This is hard, important, necessary listening. Both Kristin and Sarah have lived this story. You are not alone in it.   If you're a man who caused this harm and she is now leaving: this episode will show you what she is up against. That matters.   For pastors, counselors, and coaches: This episode includes a segment specifically for people helpers who work with women when reconciliation is no longer possible. Sarah's provider toolkit is linked in the show notes.   Be gentle with yourself as you listen. Pause when you need to. Take a walk.   Learn more about our programs: Living-truthLiving Truth, Women in the Battle, Men in the Battle | sex addiction The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal. #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth     Sarah McDugal Resources: 🔗 Freedom Navigator / Wilderness to Wild 🔗 Exposing the Playbook eBook to discover: The three biggest myths that can sabotage your case before it even starts. The 3-step strategy to anticipate their next move before they even make it. The exact tactics abusers use to manipulate the system—and how to fight back. Insider tips to protect your sanity and self-care while navigating family court. 🔗 High-Conflict Court Case Risk Index 🔗 Emotional Armor for Court and Co-parenting 🔗 Provider/Helper Toolkit — for pastors, coaches, and clinicians working with women when reconciliation is no longer possible 🔗 Free 15-min case consult for any protective parent - Click on services, then scroll down to book your call 🔗 Family Court Compass — Ultimate Strategy Guide 🔗 Finding a Lawyer Who Fights eBook 🔗 The Binder — Complete Evidence Organization System 🔗 Inside the Custody Evaluator's Playbook Workshop 🔗 Instant Stress Reset — Body-to-Brain Solution 🔗 Empower Your Child Workshop  

You didn't go into your marriage looking for this conversation. But if you're here, something brought you. Maybe it's a feeling you can't quite name. Maybe it's a pattern you've been explaining away. Maybe you already know — and you just need someone to say it clearly.   In this episode, Kristin sits down with Sarah McDugal — clarity coach, founder of Freedom Navigator and Wilderness to Wild, and a woman who has lived this story herself — to talk about what healthy actually looks like in a marriage, and how to recognize when what you're living in falls short of that.   Sarah and Kristin cover: The three markers of a healthy relationship — being fearless, free, and uncontrollable — and what it means when those are missing A clear, workable definition of abuse that avoids both over-defining and under-defining it Why "is it bad enough?" is the wrong question — and what to ask instead How entrenched patterns of behavior become visible when you zoom out from the individual moments What it looks like to move from survival mode toward a more grounded, strategic approach A word for the men listening — why doing your own work (not controlling her response) is the only thing that transforms a marriage This episode is part one of a two-part conversation. Part two covers navigating family court when reconciliation is no longer possible.   If you're a pastor, counselor, coach, or people helper: Sarah also has a provider toolkit with resources for the gap no one talks about — what to do when reconciliation is off the table. Link in the show notes.   Take care of your nervous system as you listen. This is heavy. Walking while you listen is a good idea.   Sarah McDugal Resources: 🔗 Freedom Navigator / Wilderness to Wild   🔗 Exposing the Playbook eBook to discover: The three biggest myths that can sabotage your case before it even starts. The 3-step strategy to anticipate their next move before they even make it. The exact tactics abusers use to manipulate the system—and how to fight back. Insider tips to protect your sanity and self-care while navigating family court. 🔗 High-Conflict Court Case Risk Index 🔗 Emotional Armor for Court and Co-parenting 🔗 Provider/Helper Toolkit — for pastors, coaches, and clinicians working with women when reconciliation is no longer possible 🔗 Co-Parent Behavior Profile Wizard 🔗 Free 15-min case consult for any protective parent - Click on services, then scroll down to book your call 🔗 Red Flags Videos     Learn more about our programs: Living-truthLiving Truth, Women in the Battle, Men in the Battle | sex addiction   The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal. #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth  

What if your relationship with God doesn’t have to feel like a performance review? In this rich conversation, Michael Cary sits down with author and counselor Michael John Cusick — author of Surfing for God and his newest book Sacred Attachment — to explore one of the most liberating ideas in spiritual life: that your connection to God is unbreakable, and you don’t have to earn it. We explore: • What “sacred attachment” actually means and why it changes everything about how we relate to God • How attachment theory (seen, soothed, safe, secure) shapes not just our human relationships but our relationship with God • Why “trust and obey” and “know more, do better” Christianity leaves so many of us exhausted and stuck • The root connection between early attachment wounds and addiction • Michael Cusick’s powerful “Five W’s” framework: wretchedness, weakness, woundedness, warfare, and wiring • The “delta” — the gap between what we know to be true (no condemnation!) and what we actually feel — and why information alone doesn’t close it • What freedom actually is: not the absence of sin, but the presence of your deepest desire • Why transformation doesn’t happen through information — and what actually moves the needle You’ll walk away with: A fresh, grace-soaked understanding of who God is toward you — even on your worst days. Whether you’re in recovery or just weary from trying harder, this episode will help you exhale and come home. Sacred Attachment is not just for people in addiction recovery — it’s for anyone who has ever felt like they’re failing at the Christian life. You can find more resources from Michael Cusick at: https://restoringthesoul.com https://michaeljohncusick.com   Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org   The Living Truth Podcast; Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal. #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth