Mother's Quest Podcast

I’m honored to bring this special episode of the Mother’s Quest Podcast to you with mother, activist, writer, co-founder of the Trayvon Martin Foundation and an inspiration to so many, Sybrina Fulton.  The episode is the last in a series I’ve recorded for the Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative on the subject of gun safety and the intersectional impact of gun violence on our communities.  Unfortunately, Sybrina deeply knows the grief that comes in the wake of gun violence. But, after the deadly 2012 shooting of her beloved son, Trayvon Benjamin Martin, she felt compelled to rise up, literally pushing herself to get out of her bed, becoming the voice for her son and embarking on a journey to bring awareness to senseless gun violence and racial profiling.   In 2016, Sybrina rallied to the forefront at the Democratic National Convention with a group of African American trailblazing women, connected by tragedy, who became known as “Mothers of the Movement” for the “Black Lives Matter” Movement the death of their children sparked.  She didn’t stop there. In 2017, Sybrina co-authored her first book, Rest in Power, The Enduring Life of Trayvon Martin, a memoir recounting the death of her son, which became the subject of a docu-series that debuted this year, Rest in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story, produced by hip-hop mogul Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter. This intimate conversation, over a year in the making, was a unique opportunity to delve into Sybrina’s own journey, how the E.P.I.C. guideposts show up in her life and in her activism, and to hear her powerful call to action to invest in mothers, by reaching out to mothers grieving in our own communities and by contributing to her “Circle of Mothers,” a labor of love that came to her in her dreams.  I’m grateful to activist Michael Skolnik, who dedicated this episode, for connecting me to Sybrina and for inviting us to spread this conversation far and wide and direct resources to help mothers turn their grief into healing and advocacy, following Sybrina’s powerful example.  It costs $1500 to sponsor a grieving mother to attend Circle of Mothers. Michael and I have each pledged the first $3,000 to a GoFundMe campaign, each of us contributing $1500 to help a mother who otherwise wouldn’t be able to attend.  Much appreciation,  Julie Neale   P.S. Know someone who you think would appreciate this special episode? Share this conversation!   This Episode is Dedicated by: Michael Skolnik Michael Skolnik was recently profiled in the NY Times and identified as “the man you go to if you want to leverage the power of celebrity and the reach of digital media to soften the ground for social change.” But, besides all of that, he is most proud to be the father of Mateo Ali, a rambunctious five year old.  He is the co-founder and partner of The Soze Agency, a social impact agency that partners with companies, non-profits, foundations and movements to create campaigns that uplift compassion, authenticity and equity. He is a respected leader in the new social justice movement, and has helped ignite conversations around America’s relationship with race, the deaths of Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown and Eric Garner, and the Obama and Trump presidencies. He is a prolific voice on social media with more than 350,000 followers, and a regular commentator on outlets such as CNN, MSNBC and Fox News. Michael serves on the Board of Directors for Rock The Vote, The Trayvon Martin Foundation, Policy Link, The Gathering For Justice and The Young Partners Board of The Public Theater. Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Twitter The Soze Agency Learn more about Michael Skolnik: https://about.me/michaelskolnik In This Episode We Talk About: What Sybrina wishes everyone would know about approaching a conversation with a mother who has lost a child. My 14 year old son’s question to Sybrina about what it feels like when your calling and the powerful work you’re doing is sparked by a tremendous loss. Why we need systemic and cultural change, and more awareness-raising conversations, to keep young people of color safe from racial profiling. The tragic death of Chinedu Okobi, an unarmed young black man who was tasered to death by San Mateo County deputies, just 20 minutes from my own home. The importance for grieving mothers to remember the things that they used to love and what Sybrina’s joyful outlet is The Circle of Mothers and how the idea to create it came to Sybrina in a dream. Sybrina’s challenge for all of us to open our hearts and to reach out to mothers, across differences, who have lost their child to let them know we care. Why investing in mothers is the most powerful lever to impact gun control. Resources and Topics Mentioned: Trayvon Martin Foundation Circle of Mothers Rest in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story Rest in Power: The Enduring Life of Trayvon Martin Remembrance Weekend: Peace Walk on February 9th followed by the Remembrance Gala on February 10th Article from CNN about Chinedu Okobi – Facebook executive says unreleased video calls into question police account of brother’s death GoFundMe for Circle of Mothers Women Podcasters in Solidarity website Other Mother’s Quest Episodes in This Series on Gun Safety:  Ep 37: Generations Rising for Gun Safety with Gloria Pan Ep 54: Superheroes, Fighting Patriarchy, and Courageously Defeating Gun Violence with Ladd Everitt   And in Last Year’s Series on Anti-Racism and Police Accountability: Ep 27: Courageous Conversations about Race with Nicole Lee EP31: Brave Spaces and Solidarity with “Rad Women” Author Kate Schatz EP33: Beyond the Trauma: Legacy, Compassion and Change with Mothers Against Police Brutality Co-Founder Sara Mokuria This Week’s Challenge: For this week’s challenge, Sybrina asks us to reach out to a mother who has lost a child and be a support to them. Take them out, let them know you are here, organize something for a group. Let them know that they are not alone.  Learn More About Sybrina Fulton: After the death of her beloved son, Trayvon Benjamin Martin, in February 2012, Sybrina Fulton was charged with a new mission. A desire to transform family tragedy into social change allowed her to establish the Trayvon Martin Foundation in March 2012. As Fulton traverses the globe, she passionately embarks on a journey designed to bring awareness to senseless gun violence and serves as an advocate to families, the catalyst for her dream project, the “Circle of Mothers.” Winning the national support of president-elect Hillary Clinton, Fulton rallied to the forefront in 2016 at the Democratic National Convention with a cadre of African American trailblazing women known as “Mothers of the Movement.” The women, connected by tragedy, are the inspiration behind the “Black Lives Matter.” In 2017, Fulton co-authored her first book, Rest in Power, The Enduring Life of Trayvon Martin, a memoir recounting the death of her son, and the subject of a six-part docuseries, Rest in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story, produced by hip-hop mogul Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter for Paramount Network and BET (July 2018). Bestowed with many distinguished awards, Sybrina Fulton has represented the United States at the United Nations in Geneva, Switzerland, to discuss racial discrimination; the National Urban League, Black Lives Matter, Rainbow PUSH Coalition, The Triumph Awards (2016), Essence Festival & Conference (2017, 2018), and was selected as the White House’s guest of honor for the unveiling of former President Barak Obama’s initiative, “My Brother’s Keeper.” Fulton is also one of the 2018 recipients of VH1’s Trailblazer Honor Award. A Miami native and graduate of Florida Memorial University, Sybrina Fulton, along with her son, Jahvaris, are on a mission to build better, safer communities. She is a proud member of the Miami Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. and the Metropolitan Dade County Section of the National Council of Negro Women, Inc. She created the Circle of Mothers as a way to empower women. The purpose of the Circle of Mothers is to bring together mothers who have lost children or family members to senseless gun violence for the purpose of healing, empowerment, and fellowship towards the larger aim of community building.  Connect with Sybrina at: Facebook Twitter Instagram www.circleofmothers.org www.trayvonmartinfoundation.org

I wanted to bring this encore conversation with Mothers Against Police Brutality’s Sara Mokuria in a week where so many of us have been grappling with the issue of police violence and what we can do about it. I know many of us have been searching for some action we can take about this issue and I want to encourage you to listen to this conversation with Sara Mokuria, one of the co-founders of Mothers Against Police Brutality. She will give you insight and advocacy steps from her own experience losing her father. And then, make a donation to Mothers Against Police Brutality, an organization that is seeking change by addressing policy and building police accountability, beginning in Texas but with nationwide impact. As you listen, I hope you’ll consider making a donation as well and I also challenge you to identify just one person who you can share this episode and this call to action with; together we can start to take steps in the direction of police accountability. Now here is my conversation with Sara Mokuria. ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES It’s an honor and responsibility to share this Episode #33 of the Mother’s Quest Podcast with Sara Mokuria, co-founder of Mothers Against Police Brutality. It’s the third and final in a series I recorded as part of the Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative and it comes to you with a call to action to get involved with this issue today. This episode was dedicated by Collette Flanagan, the founder of Mothers Against Police Brutality, who turned her grief from the loss of her son, Clinton Allen, into fuel for change. In her dedication, Collette reminded us of our common humanity as mothers and that an insult to one mother is an insult to all mothers. It is this knowing that caused me to record this series after I saw the heart-breaking video of Diamond Reynolds and her then four year old daughter after they witnessed the killing of Philando Castile. Philando was like a father to this little girl, was unarmed and was complying with the police officer’s requests when he was shot. Seeing the trauma and heartbreak endured by this four year old girl, who was the same age as my son when I saw this video, became a catalyst to face the epidemic of police brutality in our country, and to begin taking action, however imperfect. Much like Diamond Reynold’s daughter, Sara also endured trauma and heartbreak when she watched her father get shot and killed by police at her home in Dallas when she was 10 years old. Fueled by her own experience, Sara joined Collette along with another co-founder, John Fullinwider, in creating Mother’s Against Police Brutality, as a multi-racial, multi-ethnic coalition uniting mothers nationwide to fight for civil rights, police accountability and policy reform. Sara is a mom herself to a seven year old boy.  And, in addition to her work with Mothers Against Police Brutality, she’s a sought after educator, community organizer, project manager, and facilitator, currently working as Associate Director for Leadership Initiatives with The Institute for Urban Policy Research at the University of Texas at Dallas. She has two masters degrees, has taught both high school and college at the University of Texas at Dallas and currently serves on the International Mechanism Coordinating Committee for the US Human Rights Network. She came to the conversation with an open heart she told me, and I felt her generosity and honesty throughout as she shared how police violence changed her life forever, discussed the trauma of being black in America, how the institution of policing and the prison industrial complex contributes to that trauma, and the ways in which an investment in Mothers Against Police Brutality can change policies and systems to reduce violence and create more accountability. As compelling was Sara’s exploration of the vision she has for our future… of vibrant communities where we invest in our young people, lean into and value our differences, and where each of us taps into our own unique magic to get us there. We ended our conversation with a co-created prayer, a wish for ourselves as much as for all of you listening, to move into greater responsibility for this work from wherever we are, to have the courage to go to those difficult and painful places so we can create a freer future, and to take this moment right now to support this cause. I’m doing that today by making a financial contribution to Mothers Against Police Brutality and putting my resources with the mothers, like Sara and Collette, who are closest to the problem and who can see the solution. I hope you’ll join me. Visit http://mothersagainstpolicebrutality.org/donate/ to make a donation and reference Mother’s Quest or, if contributing on November 28th, Giving Tuesday, visit the Mother’s Quest Facebook Fundraising Page  to contribute to the Giving Tuesday Campaign. This episode dedicated by Mothers Against Police Brutality founder Collette Flanagan, whose son, Clinton Allen, was shot and killed by the Dallas Police in March of 2013. Topics discussed in this episode Sara’s joyous childhood which changed forever when her father was killed by Dallas police officers when she was just 10 years old How Sara’s mother was her fiercest advocate, even as her mother grappled with the deeply traumatic effects of her husband’s killing and the lack of support as a crime victim. Disturbing facts about our current law enforcement policies, lack of accountability, the militarization of police, and budget allocations that favor the prison industrial complex over investments that would build a vibrant community The New Jim Crowe and the War on Drugs and how it has played out as a war on people of color White privilege and how to move from shame and guilt to responsibility and action How Sara teaches her son to understand injustice, the history we don’t learn in our schools, and how tenderness, love and joy can be an act of resistance What happened when Sara met with the officer who killed her father years later and how that shifted her perspective about what the problem really is How women make up half of the world’s population and how we birthed the other half, therefore we are the world. And, the power of mothers to chart the direction of our families and communities. The importance of finding your own unique magic to make a difference and why Sara keeps her heart open to welcome people to this cause when they come to it Our prayer and invitation to you the listener Resources mentioned in this episode Women Podcasters in Solidarity Mothers Against Police Brutality The Movie 13th, directed by Ava Duvernay The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander Drug Policy Alliance EP31: Brave Spaces and Solidarity with “Rad Women” Author Kate Schatz Ep 27: Courageous Conversations about Race with Nicole Lee Ep 07: Living Out Loud with Jenjii Hysten How the Irish Became White by Noel Ignatiev Dallas Woman Turns Tragedy Into Conversation About Race, an article where Sara talks about the system and not police officers being the problem Stride Toward Justice: 9 Steps to Change Policing in America – policy recommendations from Mothers Against Police Brutality The Movement for Black Lives Campaign Zero This Week’s Three-fold Challenge Have courageous conversation about these issues with your families during the holidays. Get involved and informed about these issues locally. Become an advocate in your city. Make a monetary contribution to support the mothers who are closest to the solution at Mothers Against Police Brutality. Make a donation by visiting http://mothersagainstpolicebrutality.org/donate/.  Announcement Time Sensitive Opportunity To Join Me and Nicole Lee One of those guides, Nicole Lee and I, decided we'd like to collaborate on a four-week offering to hold space for learning, growth and solidarity through weekly zoom conversations. If you’re interested in joining, email me ASAP at julie@mothersquest.com or comment on our live conversation today in the Mother’s Quest group and I can give you more details.  Click [here] to watch the Zoom conversation in the Mother's Quest Group.

SPECIAL NOTE: As part of my commitment to amplify the voices and wisdom of black women this week, I’m re-releasing key episodes on the podcast feed, including this one, that I think can light our way in our commitment toward anti-racism and racial justice. You can also find these episodes, and others that shine a light on social justice issues from myself and other podcasters, at www.womenpodcastersinsolidarity.com.   Hello and welcome to Episode #27 of the Mother’s Quest Podcast and the first of several I’ll be sharing for an initiative I’ve launched called Women Podcasters in Solidarity. The Initiative is a commitment I’ve made, alongside some other amazing women podcasters, to raise awareness and dollars to uncover and dismantle the ways racism, both conscious and unconscious, are impacting our society. I planned the Initiative after viewing the haunting video of Philando Castile’s death and of his girlfriend Diamond Reynolds and her young daughter in the back of the cop car in its aftermath. But, the events of Charlottesville since then have brought another level of urgency to this effort. I’m so grateful that I found Nicole Lee, an incredible African American woman and mother, as our first guest on this topic, to light the way for how we as mothers, and especially those of us who are white women like myself, can take steps to make a difference, beginning with our own children and our own communities. Nicole is a strategist, executive coach and public policy advocate through her diversity and inclusion consulting firm, Lee Bayard Group, LLC. And she’s a practicing human rights attorney through the Black Movement Law Project she co-founded, which provides legal and strategy assistance to Black Lives Matter protestors and organizations. Social justice and human rights have been part of her character since she was a child where she got her pioneering spirit especially from her own mother, one of the first black women to be ordained in her Christian denomination. Nicole brings her experience as a mother and advocate to training parents in how to have courageous conversations with our children about diversity, inclusion and equity. I had the opportunity to learn from Nicole on a recent webinar on the subject, an overview for a more detailed class launching in September, that was also attended by Mallory Schlabach who offers this week’s dedication. Nicole and I start the episode with shared agreements and intentions for courageous conversation, committing to one another to come to the podcast recording with an open heart, a commitment to move through discomfort and risk imperfection. I vowed not to edit anything out and we both named a shared desire to plant seeds in mothers to raise awareness for themselves and their children. We explored how we can open channels of communication with our children, holding a “growth mindset” for them in relation to diversity, allowing them to make mistakes as they share what’s on their minds and not “shushing” them when they do. Nicole also shared the importance of expressing our values to our children in ways that they understand. When I asked her where we could invest in change, she challenged us to focus on our own communities and to identify some hard conversations we’ve been putting off. She emphasized the importance of introspective work to realize what’s in our way, determine what we need to be “ready” and then go get ready and have them. As it has been for me, I hope this podcast episode, and the links and resources in the show notes, will be part of what you need to get ready to have the brave conversations with your own children and your own communities. As Nicole says at the end of our conversation, “we’ve got this.” We are not being asked to do anything that is not within our grasp. It’s not easy but we can get it done. This Week’s Challenge: Our challenge this week is to go back and process our own patterns and thinking about race, diversity and inclusion, to identify what courageous conversations we’ve been putting off, to get what we need to be ready, and then go have them. Topics discussed in this episode: How having an open heart and articulating intentions create meaningful opportunity for brave conversations about our differences Nicole’s reflection on why many black women may not want to talk with white women about racism and how to seek out spaces, and resources, to explore these issues if you’re white and have genuine intention to learn Nicole’s childhood and how she was driven at an early age to fight for social good An exploration of the E.P.I.C Guideposts in relation to the topic of diversity and inclusion The role mothers have in planting awareness and knowledge in their children that will help transform our society The importance of cultivating real friendships across differences and how color blindness and an unwillingness to have tough conversations can block authentic connection The importance of having a growth mindset in the context of race and not to “shush” our children when they share what’s really on their minds Expressing our values in a way our children will understand Ideas for investing and supporting the Movement for Black Lives and Nicole’s opinion that getting involved locally in advocacy on police relations, and having the hard conversations, in our own communities, are the most important steps we can take. Resources mentioned in this episode: Women Podcasters in Solidarity Mother on a Quest: Nicole Lee Growth Mindset in Diversity Mother’s Quest Ep 07: Living Out Loud with Jenjii Hysten Explaining Charlottesville to my 7-year-old by Nicole Lee How to Deal with the Police/Parents Explain Lee Bayard Group, LLC – Nicole’s diversity and inclusion consulting firm Black Movement Law Project – Legal and strategy assistance to Black Lives Matter protestors and organizations where Nicole is a co-founder Nicole’s Upcoming Class on Courageous Conversations With Children The Movement for Black Lives Announcements Women Podcasters in Solidarity I’m even more committed to a quest I’ve been on to understand the roots of racism and bigotry, how it still shows up today, and how I can become a better ally and advocate to fight against it. I’m raising awareness for myself, and inviting you to do the same, through this special podcast episode. I’m also pledging to donate to an organization supporting the Movement for Black Lives and to invite you to donate too leading up to Giving Tuesday in November. More on this to come soon. If you are a women podcaster yourself, I’d love for you to make a similar pledge to use the power of your platform for this cause. You can learn more and join the initiative by signing up at mothersquest.com/solidarity. Acknowledgements A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support: Mallory Schlabach – Marketing Magic for Entrepreneurs Katharine Earhart of Alesco Advisors Jessica Kupferman of She Podcasts Resistance Artist Jen Jenkins Dohner Genese Harris Tonya Rineer, founder of The Profit Party Liane Louie-Badua Cristin Downs of the Notable Woman Podcast Erin Kendall of Fit Mom Go Niko Osoteo of Bear Beat Productions Erik Newton of The Together Show Claire Fry Divya Silbermann Rachel Winter Caren and Debbie Lieberman Cameron Miranda Fran and David Lieberman Debbie and Alan Goore Jenise and Marianne of the Sustainable Living Podcast Support the Podcast If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Two of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution http://mothersquest.com/be-a-supporter/ If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com — Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life. Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C). Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/

I’m honored to share today's episode, a conversation three years in the making with Rachel Macy Stafford, that arrives during remarkably challenging times, just as we need Rachel’s wisdom most. Rachel is a writer with one goal: to help people choose love as much as humanly possible. A New York Times bestselling author, her latest book is Live Love Now: Relieve the Pressure and Find Real Connection with Our Kids. She’s also the New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Mama, Hands Free Life, and Only Love Today; a certified special education teacher with a Master’s Degree in education; an in-demand speaker featured on CNN, Good Morning America, Global News, TIME.com, FoxNews.com, as well as in hundreds of other online and print publications and a beloved blogger who inspires millions in her weekly blog posts at HandsFreeMama.com and through her supportive Facebook community, The Hands Free Revolution. Like so many of her followers, I stumbled upon Rachel’s work years ago, and her writing immediately became a light on my path to more fully live my purpose. I'm so grateful that I had this time to talk with Rachel, to explore the threads of presence and authenticity that weave through so much of her journey, to understand that facing our truths is just the beginning of unexpected invitations, and to remember what’s possible for our children to live a present-filled, purpose-filled life when we step forward to do that first.  This conversation with Rachel and her beautiful new book, which I hope you will get and savor as I have been doing, will make you want to show up for yourself and your children in profound new ways and to embody her underlying message, to Live Love Now. Much appreciation, P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.   This Episode is Dedicated by Samantha Arsenault Samantha Arsenault Livingstone is an Olympic gold medalist, high-performance consultant, mental health educator, speaker, and entrepreneur – and she’s a mother of four and recovering perfectionist. Samantha holds a master's degree in education and spent six years teaching high school science and coaching swimming. After a near-death experience with her then 12- month old daughter, Samantha knew it was time to pay forward all she's learned about achievement, emotional resilience, rising from failure, and finding happiness. In 2016, Samantha founded Livingstone High Performance in response to the mental health crisis impacting adolescents across the globe, specifically those in the athletic arena. LHP provides pillars of support to organizations, teams, and individuals to elevate mental health and improve performance, and build a more empowered village. In addition to private and group coaching, Samantha offers online courses and consults with teams and organizations on athlete wellness initiatives, leadership, strategic planning, rising skills, and developing high-performance cultures. She is a certified instructor of Mindful Sport Performance Enhancement and Mental Health First Aid. Samantha is an engaging public speaker who has more than 19 years of experience, which includes her TEDx Talk: The Weight of Gold: An Olympian’s Path to Recovery. She’s been featured as a keynote speaker, expert panelist, workshop facilitator, and seminar leader. She’s worked with high-school, collegiate, and professional athletes in a group and 1:1 setting; school districts; athletic departments; coaching organizations; women in business groups; wellness entrepreneurs; and national governing bodies, most notably, USA Swimming. Samantha and her husband, Rob, live in the Berkshires with their four girls. To learn more about her offerings, go over to www.samanthalivingstone.com. To learn more about her offerings, go over to www.samantha livingstone.com. You can join Samantha’s FREE 5-Day I AM CHALLENGE at www.samanthalivingstone.com/i-am-challenge   Facebook @slivingstonewellness Instagram @slivingstn Linkedin @sarsenaultlivingstone   In This Episode We Talk About: The way Rachel's mother gave her the gift of “presence” even when she couldn't be physically present.   Rachel's quest for purpose and the legacy she wants to leave How reflecting on the question "How do I do it all?" on a run one day became the "spark moment" that pushed Rachel to choose herself What Rachel means by her connection to her "dreamer girl" Why facing the truth is really just the beginning What it means when Rachel says to her children "I want to love you by your book."  Hands-Free Mama as a way of being The pressure and insecurity of online life and how screentime distraction becomes the biggest obstacle to living purpose-filled The 3 roles that will allow us to walk beside our kids Finding your place of refuge and helping your kids find theirs How we can "find our people" by doing the things our heart calls us to do The tear-filled pledge I made to Rachel, reading from a promise in her book on p.57  This Week's Challenge: For this week’s challenge, Rachel encourages us to think about any hurtful comments, criticism, consciously and unconsciously, that we’ve been carrying around that’s holding us back from truly fulfilling our purpose. Reflect on it and slowly turn that pain into purpose.   Learn More About Rachel Macy Stafford   Rachel Macy Stafford is the New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Mama, Hands Free Life, and Only Love Today. Her fourth book, Live Love Now, releases in April 2020. Rachel is a certified special education teacher who helps people overcome distraction and perfection to live better and love more. Rachel's work has been featured on CNN, Good Morning America, Global News, TIME.com, FoxNews.com, as well as in hundreds of other online and print publications. Her blog (www.handsfreemama.com) currently averages one million visitors a month. Rachel loves taking long walks, baking, and volunteering with homeless cats and nursing home residents. Rachel lives in the South with her husband and two daughters who inspire her daily. Follow Rachel on Social Media HandsFreeMama.com Facebook: @TheHandsFreeRevolution         Instagram: @HandsFreeRevolution Twitter: @HandsFreeMama   Resources Mentioned: Live Love Now: Relieve the Pressure and Find Real Connection with Our Kids by Rachel Macy Stafford Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! By Rachel Macy Stafford What’s Wonderful About a Phone-Conquering, Heart-Led Teen? Find Out For Yourself Being a Mess Becomes a Comfort, Not a Curse, In Just One Ask iGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids are Growing Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood by Dr. Jean M. Twenge Announcements: Honoring George Floyd By Stepping Into Empathy And Action I want to acknowledge the pain and horror so many of us are feeling at the killing of another black man by a police officer, in the death of George Floyd. Rachel’s gift is to invite us to be present and purposeful in our lives and that same presence and purpose calls us now to take that pain and turn it into deeper understanding and action. To support that, in the show notes, I’m including a link to an episode I recorded a few years ago with the co-founder of Mother’s Against Police Brutality Sara Mokuria, and to a set of Anti-Racism resources that Rachel shared in a post, she wrote today. Also in that post, Rachel offered these words from her new book Live Love Now, that I invite us to sit with, along with a few moments of silence, to honor George Floyd, and so many other men like him. "What if we responded to the injustices inflicted on human lives with empathy and action rather than defensiveness or apathy? What if we lived as if we truly believed it’s not 'your back' or 'my back,' but 'our back'?"   Resources Mentioned in the Opening Call to Action in Honor of George Floyd:  Ep33: Beyond the Trauma: Legacy, Compassion and Change with Mother’s Against Police Brutality Co-Founder Sara Mokuria Anti-Racism Resources   The Mother's Quest Manifesto Challenge is technically over, but the Reflection Journal, live videos, and reflective prompts are all still waiting for you in the Mother's Quest Facebook Group. Follow along at your own pace by registering here: www.mothersquest.com/manifestochallenge and coming on over to the private group here.    If you enjoy the Mother’s Quest Podcast, we’d love your support in sharing this or another favorite episode with a mother you think would appreciate it too!  Another way to help spread the word is to leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Instructions for leaving a review are here: How to leave a rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad On your iOS mobile device, launch Apple's Podcast app. Tap the Search tab in the lower right corner of the screen. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. ... Tap the Reviews tab, then tap “Write a Review” at the bottom of the screen.   Acknowledgments: A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support: Vickie Giambra Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel On the Move and etsuko Kubo Kate Amoo-Gottfried Nicole Lee Olivia Parr-Rud "Vince" of the While Black Podcast Sara Brannin-Mooser Lindsay Pera Julie Castro Abrams Alexia Vernon Brooke Markevicius Democracy Clothing Michael Skolnik Helgi Maki Kari Azuma Tamara Sobomehin Katie Krimitsos Carrie Caulfield Arick Rachel Rosen Chandra Brooks Jen Simon Monisha Vasa Celia Ward-Wallace Vanessa Couto Desiree Adaway Rachel Steinman Katie Hanus Denise Barreto  Sage B. Hobbs  Samantha Nolan-Smith Jody Smith Emily Cretella Collette Flanagan Titilayo Tinubu Ali  Carly Magnus Hurt Lizzy Russinko  Suzanne Brown Mara Berns Langer Mallory Schlabach  Katharine Earhart Jessica Kupferman Jen Jenkins Dohner Genese Harris Tonya Rineer Liane Louie-Badua Cristin Downs  Erin Kendall  Niko Osoteo  Erik Newton  Claire Fry Divya Silbermann Rachel Winter Caren and Debbie Lieberman Cameron Miranda Fran and David Lieberman Debbie and Alan Goore The Sustainable Living Podcast Samantha Arsenault Support the Podcast If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution. If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com --- Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life. Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C). Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/  

If you’re anything like the vast majority of the mothers I’ve been talking with, you’ve been feeling disoriented and like you’ve lost yourself during these last few months. You may be wondering how am I ever going to come back home to myself? I had been feeling this way too...overwhelmed with fear, moving through all the stages of grief, and juggling demands at home that now included supporting my children’s distance learning... on top of all the other things! In this special Mother’s Day episode, I share how the E.P.I.C. Life framework itself, words of wisdom from past guests on the podcast, and a question my teenage son Ryan asked me, started to help me reclaim myself. Listen in for special clips lighting my way from episodes I’ll be re-releasing this week as part of a special series to light the way in the midst of challenge:  Planting Seeds for Mother’s Quest – My Introductory Episode “E” engaging mindfully with our children - “Flawed” with Truth Bomb Mom Kristina Kuzmic “P” passionate and purposeful impact beyond our family - From Grief to Advocacy and a Circle of Mothers with Trayvon Martin’s Mother Sybrina Fulton “I” invested in ourselves - Choosing Gratitude and Glitter with Nancy Netherland “C” connected to a strong support network - Reclaiming Ourselves in Motherhood with Graeme Seabrook I also share about some epic plans for our third annual Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge, the one Graeme Seabrooke and I had created together in our conversation on the podcast two years ago. Taking place starting May 11th, in the free Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, it’s a 7-day journey to reclaiming ourselves, a chance to reflect together, along a new process I’m naming “CHOOSE,” and to create or refine our own manifestos for living our lives, yes even in the midst of a pandemic. Sign up here to join us.  As for me, I’ve learned on Mother’s Day, that in addition to spending time with my children, I need some time to myself. So, today I’ll be going on my favorite milestone hike, and when I reach the summit, I’ll sit down and listen to my favorite meditation, one called “Teshuvah” or “Return” in Hebrew, that brings new meaning to the idea of setting out on a journey and returning home. Of losing our center and finding it again.  So, this Mother’s Day, I invite you to find your center again as you listen to this episode, and ask yourself some of the same questions I’ve been exploring. In what ways have you been feeling trapped? When was the last time you felt connected to your purpose? And what might it take for you to open a door for yourself…to choose yourself...and to take even just one tentative step closer to your version of an E.P.I.C. life? One Possible Next Step: Join Us for the Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge The Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge is a 7-day experience that will move you through a series of reflective prompts to support you in creating or refining a "manifesto" of your own to become an anchor in your life in these years that you are raising your children. In addition to reflective prompts that I'll share live in the group each morning, I've invited a different mother to also go live, to share their journey and manifestos and also to offer a tool or practice that would support the prompt we're reflecting on.  This year, I'll be exploring a new acronym mnemonic and framework "CHOOSE" that captures the process I went through when I claimed my manifesto...a process I realized has been with me in all the other times of my life when I shifted a perspective and moved myself forward in a powerful way.  Here is what’s in store for you in the next 7 days. 5/10 Mother's Day with Graeme Seabrook - Both Graeme and I will be live in the group at some point to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day, welcome new members, share about why we co-created the challenge two years ago, and set the frame for the week.  5/11 Day 1: C with Lindsay Pera  - "Claim" the experience or opportunity in front of you that calls you to something different; sometimes these are even painful moments you would not choose for yourself. Sometimes these feel like a "sign" that calls to you in mysterious ways. What is the "spark" for you? 5/12 Day 2: H with Jadah Sellner - "Hold space for reflection" give yourself an opportunity to pause and make meaning of what is happening so you can learn from it and consciously move forward in a different way 5/13 Day 3: O with Nic Strack - "Own the perspective" that is NOT serving you. What story are you telling yourself that feels outdated? Or what way of looking at something is feeling out of alignment or holding you back? Before you can move forward, it's important to really look at where you are now.  5/14 Day 4: O with Jamie Greenwood -  "Own a more empowering perspective" explore a new way of looking at something that resonates for you and that returns a sense of power to you 5/15 Day 5: S with Amy Walsh and Elsie Escober - "Stake in the ground" put your stake in the ground and claim this new perspective by expressing it clearly (and sharing when/if you feel comfortable). This is the day when the manifesto itself comes into form. I've invited several key guests this day who will each offer a different creation method that you can utilize to help express yourself.  5/16 Day 6: E with Jessica Stong - "Explore one next step" begin to close the gap between where you are now and where you want to be by taking setting intention for one action.  5/17 Day 7: Reflection and Celebration Circle An opportunity to come together via zoom after the challenge is over to reflect on the process, lessons learned and to share our manifestos with one another.  Sign up here to get daily reminders and to download the FREE Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge Reflection Journal.

After a podcast pause, I’m back with a bite-sized reflection from living my own E.P.I.C. life. If in the midst of this global pandemic, you’re someone like me, with the privilege of sheltering in place, and find yourself swinging from gratitude and inspiration to exasperation, this reflection is for you! In this minisode, I share some of the things I’ve been reading and listening to that have supported me, and how they all weaved together one night when I sat down to write some aspirations for myself, something I’m referring to now as my “Pandemic Promise.” I hope you’ll give yourself some pause so you can listen in, hear about some of the practices and ideas that are grounding me right now, and consider writing a promise to yourself.  In this minisode you’ll hear me talk about: A powerful essay from Indian author, Arundhati Roy, suggesting ‘The pandemic is a portal’  How my conversation in Ep 59: The Healer Lies Within through Ayurveda with Avanti Kumar Singh reminds me to create daily rituals  Ep 63: A Maker’s Journey to a Good Life with Jonathan Fields, my “sparktype” and the morning practice Jonathan recommended that has me starting my day with clarity. A reminder to reconnect with the wisdom of our ancestors from Ep 50: Weaving our Ancestral Threads with Genealogist Nicka Smith The metaphor of the virus as a storm and how the three breath practice we explored in  Ep 51: Equanimity & The Calm In the Storm with Mindful Parent Michelle Gale are helping me My “Pandemic Promise” to myself   If you’d rather read than listen, you can also go straight to the blog post here. And please mark your calendar for the 3rd Annual Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge, starting on May 11th in the Facebook Group. Join here.  Follow all the conversations at www.mothersquest.com/podcast Much appreciation, Julie Neale P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.

I’m honored to share this episode, the first I’m releasing after our lives have changed in immense ways due to this global pandemic. At a time when we realize how interconnected we all are, I’m honored to bring you a conversation with Dr. Belinda Arriaga, a leader at Bay Area Border Relief, about the incredibly important work she does championing families seeking asylum at the United States Mexican border. In addition to her advocacy through Bay Area Border Relief, Belinda is Founder and Executive Director of Ayudando Latinos a Soñar, a non-profit which stands for Believing in Latinos to Dream, dedicated to working with Latino rural youth, families, farmworkers, asylum seekers, and seniors living on coastside in the San Francisco Bay Area. Bringing her training as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, she serves as an Assistant Professor at the University of San Francisco in the School of Education, as Co-Founder of the Half Moon Bay Latino Advisory, and founder of the Latino Trauma Institute. She’s beloved by those who know her as being a fierce advocate with a heart of gold.In this episode, Belinda shares about her own childhood immigration experiences journeying to America from Panama, how despite her mother’s instruction to keep her head down she learned to speak out and fight injustice, about our country’s history of honoring asylum as a human right, and now the ways in which our current immigration policies increase trauma for families fleeing violence instead of providing our protection, shelter and support. Belinda tells her firsthand accounts of the devastating conditions that families experience living in encampments on the Mexican side of the border now and also about miracles and community rising up to literally open doors.  With faith in our collective generosity and hope for more miracles, Belinda and I spoke this week about what the families at the border need now. We want to invite you to say “yes” to the challenge of writing love letters in Spanish especially to the children there and also to send along children’s masks that can provide some protection from the spread of the coronavirus if it reaches their encampment. As we are sheltering in place, Belinda, the Bay Area Border Relief team and I invite you to follow the information in the show notes to take action within your homes, to send care packages that let these families know that they are not forgotten. Much appreciation, P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.   This Episode is Dedicated by: Vickie Giambra of ABA’s Children’s Immigration Law Academy Vickie Giambra is a Senior Staff Attorney with the ABA’s Children’s Immigration Law Academy. She lives in Houston, TX with her husband and twice-exceptional daughter. She has been practicing immigration law since 2009. She began her nonprofit immigration law career when she joined Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston in January 2017.  As a Managing Attorney, she led the General Immigration Program at Catholic Charities, which encompassed family immigration matters and provided a full range of immigration services for refugees and asylees. With a B.A., cum laude, in Latin American Studies from Barnard College, Columbia University, and an M.Phil. from the University of Cambridge, Vickie began her career working in HR and recruitment for a large international law firm in New York and London.  This sparked an interest in employment and immigration law, which led Vickie to enroll in the University of Houston Law Center, graduating in May 2009. She’s also a member of the Texas Bar and is also a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach. ABA Children’s Immigration Law Academy   Connect with Vickie: LinkedIn Twitter   Vickie’s Suggested Resources:    DHS Measures on the Border to Limit the Further Spread of Coronavirus Trump administration has expelled 10,000 migrants at the border during coronavirus outbreak, leaving less than 100 in CBP custody U.S. deports 400 migrant children under new coronavirus rules Under coronavirus immigration measure, U.S. is expelling border-crossers to Mexico in an average of 96 minutes There is No Public Health Rationale for a Categorical Ban on Asylum Seekers   In This Episode We Talk About: How Belinda’s painful experience leaving her native Panama for the United States connects to the work she does now supporting immigrants.  An explanation of the Migrant Protection Protocol (MPP), a policy that stopped asylum seekers from entering the United States since November A discussion of asylum-seeking as a basic human right Belinda's firsthand experience and observations about children's suffering under our current immigration policy and the ways we can support them How Belinda finds the personal strength and faith to persevere in the challenging work she does Belinda’s belief in miracles and a powerful story about community rising up to support a family seeking asylum    This Week's Challenge: For this episode’s challenge, Belinda encourages us to write love letters to the children who are seeking asylum (especially after the government’s latest announcement to shut down all asylum efforts right now) and to support an effort to bring 1,000 children’s masks to the families at the border. With this simple act of love and care, we can empower them to have strength especially when they are scared or lonely. You can send your letters and masks to 4 Windsor Drive, Hillsborough, CA 94010 If you're interested in contributing to the larger project, you can go to https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/bayareaborderrelief to make a fully tax-deductible donation.  And/or order masks for your family & friends with proceeds supporting the campaign visit 👉 bit.ly/BABRmasks   Learn More About Belinda Arriaga Belinda Hernandez Arriaga is a Faculty Coordinator for the Masters In Counseling MFT program at USF's South Bay location. She co-founded and is part of the Latino Advisory Council in Half Moon Bay. Belinda has done extensive work on the coast working with farmworker families and their children, in her community practice her focus is on immigration trauma, u-visas, asylum and has worked with refugee children of San Mateo County. She is Founder and Chief Executive Director of Ayudando Latinos A Soñar (www.alashmb.org), a Latino cultural arts, education, and social justice program dedicated to working with rural youth and families living on the coast side. Her current research is focused on understanding the emotional, psychological, and traumatic experiences that impact undocumented and mixed-status Latino youth. Belinda’s work also focuses on understanding the cultural arts as a healing space for this community of children. Belinda is committed to social justice advocacy and multicultural practices in counseling that gives voice to underground communities and expand indigenous cultural practices in the field of counseling. She and her husband have three young daughters and live in the coastal community of Half Moon Bay. To know more about Belinda and the work that she does, you can read her full bio 👉here   Follow Belinda on Social Media Instagram Twitter Facebook LinkedIn ALAS Facebook Emails: belinda@alasdreams.com bmhernandezarriaga@usfca.edu Resources Mentioned: Bay Area Border Relief Bay Area Border Relief Facebook Group Ayudando Latinos A  Soñar Latino Trauma Institute Additional Resources featuring Belinda: TIME Magazine - ‘They’re Screaming for Help.’ See Drawings From Children Stuck in Mexico as They Seek U.S. Asylum   Announcements: There are 3000 people hoping for a chance at a better life for themselves and their families. They are also at risk of being exposed to the virus. A joint project between ALAS and Bay Area Border Relief has been launched which is a mask making effort and it'll include the families at South Texas border, all across the Rio Grande from Brownsville. Join me in my efforts to support them. If you're interested in contributing to this project, you can go to https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/bayareaborderrelief to make a fully tax-deductible donation.  And/or order masks for your family & friends. Proceeds support the campaign 👉 bit.ly/BABRmasksJoin us in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group  At the time I’m releasing this episode, during the COVID-19 global pandemic, so many of us are seeking ways to connect with one another, even while needing to stay physically apart. If you identify with being a mother on a quest and you’re not yet a member of the free private Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, I invite you to join us for opportunities to learn together, to share what we have to offer one another and where we need support, and to find ways to make meaning of all we’re going through right now. Visit www.motherquest.com/community to join and I’d be honored to welcome you in. Season Five of the Mother’s Podcast is Under Way! - Help us Spread the Word If you enjoy the Mother’s Quest Podcast, we’d love your support in sharing this or another favorite episode with a mother you think would appreciate it too!  Another way to help spread the word is to leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Instructions for leaving a review are here: How to leave a rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad On your iOS mobile device, launch Apple's Podcast app. Tap the Search tab in the lower right corner of the screen. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. ... Tap the Reviews tab, then tap “Write a Review” at the bottom of the screen.   Acknowledgments: A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support: Vickie Giambra Casey O'Rourty of Joyful Courage                                               Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel On the Move and etsuko Kubo Kate Amoo-Gottfried Nicole Lee Olivia Parr-Rud "Vince" of the While Black Podcast Sara Brannin-Mooser Lindsay Pera Julie Castro Abrams Alexia Vernon Brooke Markevicius Democracy Clothing Michael Skolnik Helgi Maki Kari Azuma Tamara Sobomehin Katie Krimitsos Carrie Caulfield Arick Rachel Rosen Chandra Brooks Jen Simon Monisha Vasa Celia Ward-Wallace Vanessa Couto Desiree Adaway Rachel Steinman Katie Hanus Denise Barreto  Sage B. Hobbs  Samantha Nolan-Smith Jody Smith Emily Cretella Collette Flanagan Titilayo Tinubu Ali  Carly Magnus Hurt Lizzy Russinko  Suzanne Brown Mara Berns Langer Mallory Schlabach  Katharine Earhart Jessica Kupferman Jen Jenkins Dohner Genese Harris Tonya Rineer Liane Louie-Badua Cristin Downs  Erin Kendall  Niko Osoteo  Erik Newton  Claire Fry Divya Silbermann Rachel Winter Caren and Debbie Lieberman Cameron Miranda Fran and David Lieberman Debbie and Alan Goore The Sustainable Living Podcast Support the Podcast If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution. If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com --- Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life. Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C). Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/

Have you ever had a “pinch me” moment when you can’t believe how things come together? With two boys in my home, and one a teen already, I’ve wanted to interview New York Times bestselling author Peggy Orenstein for the Mother's Quest Podcast since the moment I first heard about her new book, Boys & Sex. So, when Jill Daniel of Happy Women Dinners asked me if I’d like to co-produce a dinner and conversation with Peggy in the SF Bay Area, I said “yes” practically before she finished her sentence. That I would have the opportunity to interview Peggy for the debut episode of the Mother’s Quest Podcast Season Five ahead of our in-person dinner was just the most incredible bonus. Because Peggy’s work is truly transformational. Peggy is the New York Times bestselling author of Girls & Sex, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Waiting for Daisy, Flux, and Schoolgirls, an award-winning journalist, and internationally recognized speaker on gender issues, especially those related to teens, sex and relationships. She’s a contributing writer to the New York Times Magazine and has also been published in The Washington Post, Slate, The Atlantic, and The New Yorker. She’s been featured on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The Today Show, Morning Joe, NPR’s Fresh Air and The PBS News Hour. Her TED Talk, “What Young Women Believe About Their Own Sexual Pleasure,” has been viewed over 4.6 million times.  The need to engage in conversations with our children about sex, even when they make us feel uncomfortable, was one of the biggest take-aways I had from my interview with Peggy. In this episode, we explore the insights she uncovered through her interviews with 100 teen boys and young men about their conceptions of masculinity and sexuality, including the early and pervasive experiences they have with porn, their understanding of consent, and the ways in which they feel unable to fully express themselves as emotional human beings.    Where Peggy’s prior research revealed that girls are systematically disconnected from their bodies, boys she found are disconnected from their hearts. As you listen, I invite you to think about how you could use something you learn in this episode to connect with your child. Be aware that while we don’t have explicit conversations about sex, we do mention topics such as porn. Please use your discretion in whether you want to play this episode around children. With older boys, you may purposefully choose, as Peggy jokingly suggests, to play this episode in their vicinity as a conversation starter. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share this interview with you. I appreciated Peggy’s openness to sharing about her own E.P.I.C. life, to her bravery in her work, her inclusion of the perspectives of transgender and gay boys and to the impact of race in our conceptions of sexuality, and her challenge to us to have conversations with our children about sex. It’s not just “one talk,” she says, but a series of ongoing ones that our times call for today. And we have to start somewhere. Much appreciation, P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.   This Episode is Dedicated by: Casey O'Rourty of Joyful Courage to Amy Lang of Birds & Bees & KidsCasey O’Roarty, Med, is a facilitator of personal growth and development.  Her work encourages parents to discover the purpose of their journey, while also providing them with tools and a shift of mindset that allows them to deepen their relationships with themselves and their families.  As a Positive Discipline Trainer since 2007 and certified coach, Casey has led countless groups through workshops and classes that have left them feeling empowered and excited about parenting. She also offers an engaging podcast, live and online classes, and individual coaching at www.joyfulcourage.com.  Her first book, Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of YOUR Parenting Journey launched May 20th, 2019. Casey lives in the Pacific Northwest with greatest teachers – her husband, and two teenage kids. 👉 Registration for Joyful Courage: Parenting Teens Academy Joyful Courage Podcast Join the Joyful Courage Parents of Teens Facebook Group Live and Love with Joyful Courage   Casey’s Social Media: Twitter Joyful Courage - Facebook Instagram   About Amy Lang: Amy Lang is a sexual health educator for over 20 years, she helps parents of all beliefs talk with kids of any age about the birds and the bees. She’s the author of the award-winning book Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids - A Guide to Sharing Your Beliefs About Sexuality, Love, and Relationships. She started Birds & Bees & Kids with the mission to help every kid grow up to become healthy adults by helping their parents learn how they can engage and talk to their kids about their sex and sexuality. You can learn more about Amy and her work here 👉 Amy Lang’s Birds & Bees & Kids   **Special thanks to  Jill Daniel of happy-women-dinners for co-producing and hosting the event with Peggy Orenstein** Happy Women Dinners is the brainchild of food writer, gourmet cook, and publicist Jill Daniel.  As a food writer, Jill wrote about food from one coast of the country to the other. She is the owner of Dinner-Licious, she serves up delicious organic dinners to families around the San Francisco Bay Area.  With Happy Women Dinners, Jill has brought together fantastic food and speakers with a focus on women.  Happy Women Dinners events are held in intimate settings and limited to small groups of women.   Jill Daniel - LinkedInHappy Women Dinners Instagram @jillconnection Happy Women Dinners Facebook Page   In This Episode We Talk About: How our conversation coincided with the four year anniversary of Peggy’s mother's death, the impact her mother had on her, and how we carry our ancestor with us The high school journalism assignment that set Peggy on her life purpose path of telling stories.  The importance of being in conversation with our kids about sex What Peggy believes sex is really about and her ultimate end-game in all of her work What one transgender boy illuminated for Peggy about the topic of masculinity Ways that sex and gender are mediated by race and ethnicity What has changed today about pornography and the ways that shape our boys' experience of sex  How to know when to talk to our kids about sex and porn The ways in which boys feel disconnected from their emotions Talking to our boys about consent What supports Peggy in staying grounded while doing this work The importance of finding community among other parents as we navigate conversations about sex with our kids   This Week's Challenge: For this episode’s challenge, Peggy encourages us to start having conversations with our children about sex. With your older boys, consider listening to this episode together. You can also visit her website for a list of resources that can support you in having conversations with children at any developmental stage.    Learn More About Peggy Orenstein: Peggy Orenstein is the author of the New York Times best-sellers Boys & Sex, Girls & Sex, Cinderella Ate My Daughter and Waiting for Daisy as well as Don’t Call Me Princess, Flux, and the classic SchoolGirls:. A contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine and AFAR, Peggy has also written for such publications as The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, New York , The Atlantic and The New Yorker, and has contributed commentaries to NPR’s All Things Considered . She has been featured on, among other programs, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The Today Show, Morning Joe, NPR’s Fresh Air and The PBS News Hour. Her TED Talk, “What Young Women Believe About Their Own Sexual Pleasure,” has been viewed over 4.6 million times. The Columbia Journalism Review named Peggy one of its “40 women who changed the media business in the past 40 years.” She has been recognized for her “Outstanding Coverage of Family Diversity,” by the Council on Contemporary Families and received Books For A Better Life Awards for both Girls & Sex and Waiting for Daisy. Her work has also been honored by the Commonwealth Club of California, the National Women’s Political Caucus of California and Planned Parenthood Federation of America. Additionally, she has been awarded fellowships from the United States-Japan Foundation and the Asian Cultural Council and been a grateful resident at Mesa Refuge and the UCross Foundation. Peggy's Books: Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity  Girl & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between: The New and Necessary Conversations Today’s Teenagers Need to Have about Consent, Sexual Harassment, Healthy Relationships, Love, and More Connect with Peggy Peggy Orenstein Twitter: @peggyorenstein Facebook - @peggyorenstein Resources from Peggy: FRIES Consent by Planned Parenthood AMAZE - More Info. Less Weird Resources Mentioned: Ep 54: Superheroes, Fighting Patriarchy, and Courageously Defeating Gun Violence with Ladd Everitt Grown and Flown: How to Support Your Teen, Stay Close as a Family, and Raise Independent Adults by Lisa Heffernan Grown and Flown Parents Facebook Community   Announcements:   Spark Your E.P.I.C. Year Workshop Join me on one of my favorite things to facilitate, the Spark Your E.P.I.C. Year Workshop, where I will take you via zoom on a “virtual milestone hike” an opportunity for reflection and intention-setting as we officially close one chapter and begin another. At Mother’s Quest, we’ve decided that February is the new January, and truthfully it is always a good time to begin again with intention. Click the link in the show notes to join this experience live tomorrow or to request the replay and come along when the time is right for you. Hope to see you there! Join the Spark Your Epic Year Workshop by signing up here. Want More Reflection in Your Life? Book A Discovery Call Some key themes that emerge from all my conversations, is the power of reflection and the power of being seen. These are elements that I bring, not only to every podcast interview, but to my one-one-one coaching and Mother’s Quest Circle facilitation. If you’re seeking more space for pause and reflection in your life, I encourage you to reach out to me for a discovery call to learn how we might work together.  Visit mothersquest.as.me/discoverysession to schedule a time to talk. Click here to book a discovery call   Acknowledgments: A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support: Casey O'Rourty of Joyful Courage                                Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel On the Move and etsuko Kubo Kate Amoo-Gottfried Nicole Lee Olivia Parr-Rud "Vince" of the While Black Podcast Sara Brannin-Mooser Lindsay Pera Julie Castro Abrams Alexia Vernon Brooke Markevicius Democracy Clothing Michael Skolnik Helgi Maki Kari Azuma Tamara Sobomehin Katie Krimitsos Carrie Caulfield Arick Rachel Rosen Chandra Brooks Jen Simon Monisha Vasa Celia Ward-Wallace Vanessa Couto Desiree Adaway Rachel Steinman Katie Hanus Denise Barreto  Sage B. Hobbs  Samantha Nolan-Smith Jody Smith Emily Cretella Collette Flanagan Titilayo Tinubu Ali  Carly Magnus Hurt Lizzy Russinko  Suzanne Brown Mara Berns Langer Mallory Schlabach  Katharine Earhart Jessica Kupferman Jen Jenkins Dohner Genese Harris Tonya Rineer Liane Louie-Badua Cristin Downs  Erin Kendall  Niko Osoteo  Erik Newton  Claire Fry Divya Silbermann Rachel Winter Caren and Debbie Lieberman Cameron Miranda Fran and David Lieberman Debbie and Alan Goore The Sustainable Living Podcast Support the Podcast If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution. If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com --- Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life. Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C). Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/

In this pre-season MINISODE, a bite-sized reflection from my E.P.I.C. Life, I shared how my start to 2020 has been filled with both struggle and success, what it's like to share the full range of our experiences online in today's Instagramable world, and three things that have supported me on the threshold of a reset. Also, a little about what to expect in my Spark Your E.P.I.C. Year Workshop, a chance for us to begin 2020 again, because February is the new January. Three Things That Helped Me: Integrating my Emotions Finding my guides Doubling down on self-care This “A Tale of Two Narratives” by Lex Vernon put it all in perspective Join the Spark Your Epic Year Workshop by signing up here. Season 5 of the Mother's Quest Podcast will begin tomorrow. Join the conversation at www.mothersquest.com/podcast

I’m honored to bring you this Season Four finale episode of the Mother’s Quest Podcast with two special guests and dear family friends, transgender model, activist and writer Corey Rae and her talented and trailblazing mother, Judy Blank. Corey is a 26-year-old activist, consultant, model, speaker and writer who shatters stigmas surrounding the transgender community. She was born transgender in the 1990’s and started her physical transition when she was 15 years old with the unwavering support of her mother Judy. Shortly after, Corey became the world’s first openly transgender girl to be crowned Prom Queen, a story in production for a feature film titled QUEEN, which Corey is Executive Producing.As a stylist, designer and creator of hand-carved jewelry, with over 30 years of experience, Judy’s professional skills have taken her across the industries of television, music, and photography. Her intuitive detail-oriented approach to hairstyling and personal style consulting has supported hundreds of individuals to feel good about themselves and make meaningful lifestyle changes.In this episode, Corey and Judy share, for the first time together, their mother daughter account of how they blazed a trail in Corey’s transgender journey, telling stories spanning from Judy’s standing up to Corey’s kindergarten teacher, who wanted to stop her from dressing as a girl during dress-up time, to supporting Corey through her gender affirmation surgery at age 19. Corey also recounts her evolution from living “stealth” for five years after her surgery, when no one knew she was transgender, to coming out publicly in 2016 through her first blog post on her site CoreyRae.com, titled, "Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself.”  Since then, Corey has become a strong voice in helping others that struggle with gender identity, the transition process, or coming out and has actively shared her personal stories and advice on her blog, on a monthly column on StyleCaster.com, in publications like Vogue, Cosmopolitan and People magazines, and at events like the MAKERS Women's Conference. She’s currently the new campaign model for the beauty subscription brand, IPSY, and had what I call an epic snapshot moment posing with her mother in front of one of her LA billboards, a photo we used for the podcast art. This conversation had me in tears many times. I was moved by how Judy  transformed her childhood experiences of being bullied into fuel for becoming a rock solid ally for her child, how her experience raising a transgender daughter when few resources and knowledge existed, sparked a deep desire to support other families and their children so they don’t have to feel alone, and how, after years of helping Corey become her authentic self, Judy is now experiencing her own rebirth after a challenging divorce.  Recording this conversation live in a recording studio on the eve of my 48th birthday and the birthday of the Mother’s Quest Podcast, felt like the representation of everything I hoped the podcast would be when I created it three years ago: a space for transformative, inspiring conversations that invite all of us to live more fully. I hope you’ll listen to this episode with an open heart and mind and say “yes” to Judy and Corey’s challenge to “truly listen to our children,” to embrace them, and help them grow into the fullest, most authentic expression of who they are. Much appreciation, P.S. This is the last episode of Season Four and I'll be taking a break through the end of January. Come on over to the Mother's Quest Facebook Group, if you're not there yet, to stay connected until the podcast returns! Can't wait to bring you more inspiring conversations in 2020.    This Episode is Dedicated by: Kathie Moehlig of TransFamily Support Services TransFamily Support Services SAVES lives by shaping a gender-affirming and accepting community. TransFamily Support Services provides navigation for the journey. We serve transgender youth and their families all over the country and there is never a fee for our services.  We help families to understand the gender journey and assist with referrals to medical and mental health providers. We also help navigate the insurance issues as well as work with schools to be sure the youth are safe and affirmed. Kathie Moehlig, Founder of TransFamily Support Services, is a leading authority on supporting transgender and non-binary youth and their families. A tireless advocate for the LGBTQ community, she was named “Woman of the Year” by California Assemblyperson Gloria. A certified life coach, parenting instructor and motivational speaker, Kathie’s work have been featured in media nationally. She regularly crisscrossing the country to work with families, schools, healthcare, and organizations to promote understanding, inclusion, and equality. TransFamily Support Services - Navigation for the Journey If you want to support TransFamily Support Services, you can send your donations here. 👉 DONATE Connect with Kathie: LinkedIn You can learn more about Kathie and how she founded TransFamily Services here.   In This Episode We Talk About: Corey’s journey of self-identity during a time when there was much less awareness and few resources about being transgender Moments that helped Corey to realize she was transgender and that sparked her path to transition The impact of Judy’s own childhood experience grappling with learning disabilities and bullying in how that shaped how she parented The importance of listening to what your children are saying, not just in their words but also in their behavior Why you shouldn’t parent your kids from fear Deconstructing what it means to be transgender The importance for Corey of naming the ways in which she holds privilege as a white transgender woman  Educating ourselves and others on how we can de-stigmatize the transgender community Corey’s coming of age movie - Queen Asking a lot of questions of our children and then waiting for the answer The ways in which Judy is experiencing her own rebirth: including several creative projects of her own, a memoir “Back to Blank,” and a signature jewelry piece for people in transition modeled after a butterfly.   Additional Resources for Transgender Families and Allies: Amber Leventry – Queer. Nonbinary. Writer. Advocate. Jamie Bruesehoff – Award-winning writer, Speaker, Advocate, and an openly Queer woman. Raising Luminaries: Books for Littles - LGBT Gender Spectrum, located in Oakland San Mateo Pride Center on El Camino in San Mateo The Gender Creative Child by Diane Ehrensaft, PhD Meet Marvel's First Transgender Hero: 12-Year-Old 'Mighty' Rebekah   This Week's Challenge: For this week’s challenge, Judy and Corey challenge us to really listen to our children. Look at what they are really saying and don’t parent from a place of fear.  Ask your kids a lot of questions and wait for the answer. And if they don’t have the answer just let it sit, because you’re helping them think about it. Judy and Corey encourage everyone of us to love our kids for who they really are and allow them to be their authentic selves.   Learn More About Corey Rae: Corey Rae is a 26-year-old activist, consultant, model, speaker, and writer who shatters social stigmas surrounding the transgender community. Corey was born transgender and started her physical transition when she was 15 years old with the help of her mother Judy. Shortly after, she became the World’s first openly transgender girl to be crowned Prom Queen.  In 2012, Corey had gender affirmation surgery at age 19, but kept her past a secret. After five years of living stealth, she told her story publicly in 2016 through her first blog post on her site CoreyRae.com, titled, "Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself”  Corey shares personal stories of her upbringing and experiences on her blog, as well as elevates the stories of other inspiring and unique LGBTQ+ members on her site. She writes a monthly advice column on StyleCaster.com with helpful tips on dating, fashion, beauty, and destigmatizing transgender beauty standards. Corey’s high school prom victory story has been acquired and is in production for a feature film titled QUEEN, which she is Executive Producing. Corey speaks at public and private events such as LGBTQ+ marches, Universities, and even Lululemon Headquarters. She’s partnered with brands and companies such as IPSY, HBO, Lululemon, OUAI Haircare, Seventh Generation, MAKERS,  It Gets Better, Orgain, Squarespace, Tumblr, LAPRIDE, and the Los Angeles LGBT Center.  When Corey isn’t focused on her activism career, you can find her hiking Runyon Canyon, hanging out with her closest friends, or shopping with her mom Judy. Resources from Corey: Corey Rae & Sarah Kate Ellis | Public speaking at The 2019 MAKERS Conference Corey Rae’s Stylecaster Advice Column Personal website - Corey Rae Follow Corey on Social Media: Instagram: @imcoreyrae Facebook: @imcoreyrae Twitter: @imcoreyrae   Learn More About Judy Blank: Judy Blank wants to live in a world where children grow up with kindness, compassion and the ability to grow into the fullest, most authentic expression of who they are. Her own experience raising her transgender daughter Corey in the 1990’s, and blazing a path for Corey’s transition, during a time when few resources and knowledge existed, sparked a deep desire to support other families and their children so they don’t have to feel alone. As a stylist and designer with over 30 years of experience, Judy’s professional skills have taken her across the industries of television, music, and photography. Her intuitive detail-oriented approach to hairstyling and personal style consulting has supported hundreds of individuals to feel good about themselves and make meaningful lifestyle changes. In 2004, a class Judy took at the Art Center of New Jersey in wax-carving sparked an extension of Judy’s love for design that results in one-of-a-kind pieces that symbolize the change her clients seek. Using precious metals and gemstones, she creates her custom design jewelry using an intricate hand-carving technique known as Lost-wax casting. Whether working with hair, jewelry, or styling, Judy maintains her focus on the most important element, you, and believes that when it comes to living true to your most authentic self, the details count.  This fall, Judy began a new transition in her life, moving back to her native home, Los Angeles, to grow her design and styling business and to assist Corey with her growing career. She’s also writing her own story in a book “Back to Blank,” about raising a transgender child in a time when people didn’t know what it was and chronicling how she overcame her disabilities and abusive relationships to reclaim her life.  Connect with Judy: Twitter Facebook Instagram  Website Announcements: Mother’s Quest Turned Three! Help us celebrate three years, 70 episodes and 40,000 downloads of the Mother’s Quest Podcast!! In honor of this milestone, I’ll be recording a special solocast with my reflections on the past three years and I’d love to include some messages from you. Head over to mothersquest.com/podcast to use the speakpipe tool, or your own recording app of choice, to send a message with your thoughts about Mother’s Quest, your favorite episode, or a way that our community has impacted you. I’m looking forward to sharing some of your voices, alongside mine, in this celebratory recording coming to you in the new year.   Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative If you identify as a woman podcaster, I hope you’ll join us for the third season of the Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative. Our group recently committed to the topic of immigration from a social justice perspective, and we invite you to join us by committing to record an episode that can shine a light on this important issue. To take a look at past seasons and get more information visit www.womenpodcastersinsolidarity.com. Want More Reflection in Your Life? Book A Discovery Call Some key themes that emerge from all my conversations, is the power of reflection and the power of being seen. These are elements that I bring, not only to every podcast interview, but to my one-one-one coaching and Mother’s Quest Circle facilitation. If you’re seeking more space for pause and reflection in your life, I encourage you to reach out to me for a discovery call to learn how we might work together.  Visit mothersquest.as.me/discoverysession to schedule a time to talk. Click here to book a discovery call One Minute Mom Manifesto ⚡️Have you been feeling a nudge to say "yes" to create your Mother's Quest Manifesto? The official challenge and giveaway may be over, but the invitation and content is always there for you to create your #oneminutemommanifesto  Here are some easy steps you can follow... 👉 Join the Mother's Quest Facebook Group www.mothersquest.com/community to find the "unit" for the Manifesto Challenge's reflective prompts and live videos. It's all waiting for you! 👉 Follow along with the "unit" at your own pace. Share your reflections along the way in the comments. Let us cheer you on! 👉 Give yourself some quiet time to create your own #oneminutemommanifesto in whatever way feels good...writing, art, photos, song. It can be simple and quick. Don't overthink it. What matters most, as a guiding light, for how you want to live your life at this stage of raising your children? 👉 Share your #oneminutemommanifesto on social media with the hashtag. Tag me if you can to make sure I've seen it. Consider nominating a friend who would benefit. --Join us, share or tag a friend, or comment on how the #oneminutemommanifesto has helped you if you've already created yours.-- Would LOVE for more of you to join us in claiming, or reclaiming, HOW you want to live your life ✨🙌 Acknowledgments: A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support: Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel On the Move and etsuko Kubo Kate Amoo-Gottfried Nicole Lee Olivia Parr-Rud "Vince" of the While Black Podcast Sara Brannin-Mooser Lindsay Pera Julie Castro Abrams Alexia Vernon Brooke Markevicius Democracy Clothing Michael Skolnik Helgi Maki Kari Azuma Tamara Sobomehin Katie Krimitsos Carrie Caulfield Arick Rachel Rosen Chandra Brooks Jen Simon Monisha Vasa Celia Ward-Wallace Vanessa Couto Desiree Adaway Rachel Steinman Katie Hanus Denise Barreto  Sage B. Hobbs  Samantha Nolan-Smith Jody Smith Emily Cretella Collette Flanagan Titilayo Tinubu Ali  Carly Magnus Hurt Lizzy Russinko  Suzanne Brown Mara Berns Langer Mallory Schlabach  Katharine Earhart Jessica Kupferman Jen Jenkins Dohner Genese Harris Tonya Rineer Liane Louie-Badua Cristin Downs  Erin Kendall  Niko Osoteo  Erik Newton  Claire Fry Divya Silbermann Rachel Winter Caren and Debbie Lieberman Cameron Miranda Fran and David Lieberman Debbie and Alan Goore The Sustainable Living Podcast Support the Podcast If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution. If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com --- Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life. Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C). Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/