Join Dan and Rachael as they explore the intimate relationships we have in our lives now - our spouses, children, roommates and friends - and how we can embrace grief and gratitude to engage with those closest to us.

As we prepare to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, Dan and Rachael continue their discussion on the intersection of grief and gratitude, focussing on how to engage those categories in our families of origin. In this episode, they dive into how to balance these two realities in our stories while we’re in a season of family gatherings and celebrations.

Dan and Rachael start a new series on grief and gratitude. In this episode, they outline the importance of being open to grieving in order to be open to true gratitude and the ways our bodies naturally respond in both grief and gratitude.

Dr. J. Derek McNeil, president of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology and Cathy Lorezel, Co-founder of The Allender Center join Dan and Rachael for a special anniversary episode. They share some beginning behind-the scenes stories of how The Allender Center was birthed and what drives us to stay in this work in the future.

This week, Dan and Rachael discuss how hiding keeps us from being authentic. Sometimes hiding can be an outright refusal to let others see, and other times, our hiding can be harder to notice. In the episode, Dan and Rachael talk about the ways we hide, how to let others know and see us more, and the freedom that comes with that kind of authenticity.  

This week, Dan and Rachel discuss sabotage and its connection to self contempt, which has capacity to ruin communities and lives.

This week, Dan and Rachael discuss scapegoating as a kind of rage that moves into the dehumanization of others. Stemming from contempt and judgement, the topic of scapegoating also brings up the experiences of projection and envy. As they ponder these categories, the ask the question: How do we become aware of our own propensity towards scapegoating and our use of it to escape what we don't want to have to see and own in our own hearts?

What keeps us from engaging well with one another?  For the next few weeks on the podcast, Dan and Rachael are going to be debating four categories that prevent us from connecting well, beginning with rage. In a time when people’s margins and capacity are thinner than ever, how do we differentiate between rage and anger and how we can attend to our bodies and wellbeing in the midst of someone’s rage?

When Cyndi Mesmer agreed to participate in the very first Training Certificate program in 2011 (now Certificate in Narrative Focused Trauma Care Level I), she anticipated a laid-back conference where she would gather a few insights and make small talk with other attendees.  Instead, what she and fellow facilitator Scott Gibson encountered would change the course of their lives, relationships, and therapeutic practices. So today on the podcast, as we continue to celebrate 10 years of The Allender Center, Dan and Rachael engage Cyndi and Scott in conversation about how they first came to be involved with The Allender Center and why they’ve remained, how engaging their own stories and the stories of others impact their practices and relationships, and so much more. 

Today on the podcast, Dan and Rachael finish a conversation on spiritual and sexual abuse by discussing the impact of these types of abuse and ways we can begin to find healing. They acknowledge that at times it can be difficult to distinguish between the two, determine which came first, or how they affect the other, which is to be expected—these abuses are complex and nuanced. As you listen to the episode, can you begin to wonder: How can you begin to heal, to enter your story and honor your body without causing more harm to yourself?