Transforming Trauma

“You don’t have to build up the muscle of compassion, because if you just get the constraints to your natural compassion to relax, then you have plenty of compassion.” - Dr. Dick Schwartz We have another opportunity to listen to a conversation between authors and therapeutic pioneers Drs. Dick Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Laurence Heller, founder of the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM). Joined by our host, Sarah, the two authors come together for a second time to continue their rich conversation on the similarities and differences between the two modalities they’ve created, and to take a more specific look at how both of their works have drawn from the spiritual elements of the human experience.  While IFS and NARM are both known as being exciting, emerging models for healing complex trauma, this episode highlights that Drs. Schwartz and Heller acknowledge that the deeper focus in both approaches is on the Self, that internal place within us all that provides the foundation for our lives despite the complexity of wounding and traumas that one has experienced. They reflect on this beginning of a meaningful, powerful relationship between two very important therapeutic models. What might the future hold for IFS and NARM working together to bring healing into our world?   Dick’s bio: Richard Schwartz began his career as a family therapist and an academic at the University of Illinois at Chicago. There he discovered that family therapy alone did not achieve full symptom relief and in asking patients why, he learned that they were plagued by what they called “parts.” These patients became his teachers as they described how their parts formed networks of inner relationship that resembled the families he had been working with. He also found that as they focused on and, thereby, separated from their parts, they would shift into a state characterized by qualities like curiosity, calm, confidence and compassion. He called that inner essence the Self and was amazed to find it even in severely diagnosed and traumatized patients. From these explorations the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model was born in the early 1980s.  IFS is now evidence-based and has become a widely-used form of psychotherapy, particularly with trauma. It provides a non-pathologizing, optimistic, and empowering perspective and a practical and effective set of techniques for working with individuals, couples, families, and more recently, corporations and classrooms.  In 2013 Schwartz left the Chicago area and now lives in Brookline, MA where is on the faculty of the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. To read the full show notes and discover more resources visit http://www.narmtraining.com/podcast *** NARM Training Institute http://www.NARMtraining.com *** The NARM Training Institute provides tools for transforming complex trauma through: in-person and online trainings for mental health care professionals; in-person and online workshops on complex trauma and how it interplays with areas like addiction, parenting, and cultural trauma; an online self-paced learning program, the NARM Inner Circle; and other trauma-informed learning resources.   *** We want to connect with you! Facebook @NARMtraining Twitter @NARMtraining YouTube Instagram @thenarmtraininginstitute

"This is what makes NARM different...than any other modality I've encountered, is that we're exploring or inquiring not to get anywhere, just for curiosity sake. And...that's one of the missing ingredients of healthy attachment.” ~Deirdre Stewart Our host Sarah Buino interviews Deirdre Stewart, the Vice President of Trauma Resolution Services for Meadows Behavioral Healthcare in Wickenburg, Arizona. The Meadows is a well-known, cutting-edge treatment facility providing a full continuum of care, specializing in trauma and addiction. In addition to being a NARM Therapist, Deirdre is trained in Neurofeedback, Somatic Attachment Focused EMDR, and Somatic Experiencing.  Sarah and Deirdre share their reflections on what the NARM training has brought to them in their professional and personal lives, and the deep sense of hope that healing from trauma does exist-- that joy and freedom are possible.  Deirdre shares that she has seen a sharp increase in the complexity and disorganization of patients more recently at The Meadows. When she was introduced to the NARM approach for working with Complex Trauma, she found hope in helping clients who are suffering from such disorganization and trauma. Specifically, Deirdre shares about the fundamental shifts that she sees through how NARM supports therapeutic consent.  Sarah asks Deirdre what she would do if she could wave a magic wand to change current trauma treatment systems. Deirdre emphasizes the need for trauma-informed education, specifically as our understanding of trauma shifts from shock or event trauma (PTSD) to greater recognition of complex trauma (C-PTSD). Deirdre finds that the way NARM operates through both a “top-down” and “bottom-up” perspective simultaneously, working with both the mind and the body, helps work more effectively with complexity and disorganization. She has learned that therapeutic models that support behavioral change only go so far, and that models that support self-regulation can be very helpful for many conditions, but as they say in NARM, “you can’t regulate Self-Hatred away.”  Sarah and Deirdre discuss how going through the NARM Therapist Training has impacted them both professionally and personally. They reflect on the experience of heartfulness in NARM, and how this resonates among the training participants. Deirdre shares her personal experience of shifting old patterns in an environment of heartful support. The interview concludes with the pair reflecting on the transformation that happens within the therapist as they deepen into the principles and understanding of NARM. They both express the gratitude and inspiration they have experienced in learning to relate to themselves in a new way, and how this supports them to stay open, receptive and curious with their clients.  About Deirdre: Deirdre Stewart, LPC, SEP, BCN  is the Vice President of Trauma Resolution Services for Meadow’s Behavioral Healthcare. She’s been with The Meadows nearly 12 years - The Meadows provides a full continuum of care, specializing in trauma & addiction.  Deirdre is a  licensed professional in the state of Arizona, board certified in Neurofeedback, trained in Somatic Attachment Focused EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, and the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM).   To read the full show notes and discover more resources visit http://www.narmtraining.com/podcast *** NARM Training Institute http://www.NARMtraining.com *** The NARM Training Institute provides tools for transforming complex trauma through: in-person and online trainings for mental health care professionals; in-person and online workshops on complex trauma and how it interplays with areas like addiction, parenting, and cultural trauma; an online self-paced learning program, the NARM Inner Circle; and other trauma-informed learning resources.   *** We want to connect with you! Facebook @NARMtraining Twitter @NARMtraining YouTube Instagram @thenarmtraininginstitute

Host Sarah Buino facilitates an important discussion between NARM creator Dr. Laurence Heller and Dr. Christina Bethell, researcher, author, policy advocate, and professor at Johns Hopkins University and the Bloomberg School of Public Health.  Dr. Bethell is on the Board of Directors for the Campaign for Trauma-Informed Policy and Practice (CTIPP) and is part of a team of trauma-informed advocates who developed the brief: A Trauma-Informed Agenda for the First 100 Days of the Biden-Harris Administration. Dr. Bethell is leading an effort to promote an agenda of healing and prevention through safe, stable, nurturing relationships, in policy and practice. She is currently involved in multiple research projects focusing on trauma healing, including an article with Dr. Heller, and how to scale trauma-informed trainings for health care professionals on a national level.   Dr. Bethell’s work has centered on creating the research base to “promote family resilience and parent-child connection, and looking at social determinants [for health] like alcoholism and mental health problems, emotional neglect, or emotional abuse.” Drs. Bethell and Heller both agree the NARM Training Institute is at the forefront of what this trauma-informed training could look like for helping professionals from various fields. Dr. Bethell ends the episode with encouragement and a ‘call to arms’ for all NARM-trained, and other trauma-informed professionals, to step into places of leadership and bring their perspective and skills to healthcare, mental health, education and other social systems. As she describes, “[These systems are] aching for support and help on how to ground the concepts of healing, recognizing… developmental trauma, and doing something about it.” To read the full show notes and discover more resources visit http://www.narmtraining.com/podcast *** NARM Training Institute http://www.NARMtraining.com *** The NARM Training Institute provides tools for transforming complex trauma through: in-person and online trainings for mental health care professionals; in-person and online workshops on complex trauma and how it interplays with areas like addiction, parenting, and cultural trauma; an online self-paced learning program, the NARM Inner Circle; and other trauma-informed learning resources.   *** We want to connect with you! Facebook @NARMtraining Twitter @NARMtraining YouTube Instagram @thenarmtraininginstitute

“I remember asking my therapist, what does self-love even feel like? And I'd had fleeting moments of experiencing it. Now it just is. It's just there. And that's beyond any expectation that I ever thought I would have. And that's what I think of when I think of “transforming trauma.”” - Sarah Buino In this special year-end episode celebrating the first year anniversary of the Transforming Trauma podcast, our host Sarah Buino and NARM Senior Trainer Brad Kammer reflect on this first year of Transforming Trauma!  Brad shares that when the NARM Training Institute was founded in 2018, the intention was “to do our part in bringing trauma-informed work to so many individuals, families and communities that are dealing with the effects of complex trauma.”  While the NARM Training Institute has been mainly focused on training mental health and other helping professionals in the NARM approach, they have also been committed to making NARM more accessible to those in need. During a NARM Training in Chicago, Brad had the idea to create a podcast that would be widely available, free, and bring important messages about complex trauma to listeners everywhere.  He invited Sarah and together they worked toward creating a podcast that would capture the magic in the work to share with the world – and thus began Transforming Trauma! Since January 2020, Transforming Trauma has had over 50,000 downloads in more than eighty countries, listenership has grown over 300%, and it has been ranked in the top 10 mental health podcasts on Apple Podcasts.  As Sarah and Brad celebrate their first year of the Transforming Trauma podcast, they express how moved and inspired they feel to know that in their very first year, Transforming Trauma has made such an impact on people’s lives.  With humility and excitement, they commit to continuing to use this platform to promote and support personal and collective healing of complex trauma. To read the full show notes and discover more resources visit http://www.narmtraining.com/podcast *** NARM Level 2 Online Training begins January 2021. REGISTER NOW: https://narmtraining.com/transformingtrauma/level2/ *** NARM Training Institute http://www.NARMtraining.com *** The NARM Training Institute provides tools for transforming complex trauma through: in-person and online trainings for mental health care professionals; in-person and online workshops on complex trauma and how it interplays with areas like addiction, parenting, and cultural trauma; an online self-paced learning program, the NARM Inner Circle; and other trauma-informed learning resources.   *** We want to connect with you! Facebook @NARMtraining Twitter @NARMtraining YouTube Instagram @thenarmtraininginstitute

An end-of-the-year gift to listeners from the NARM Training Institute! We are sharing a special topic webinar from the NARM Inner Circle online program. This webinar provides a window into the Inner Circle learning community where helping professionals from around the world are coming together to learn more about the NARM approach to resolving Complex Trauma.   In this session, NARM and Working in the Present Moment, NARM creator, Dr. Laurence Heller, and NARM Senior Faculty Brad Kammer, explore how NARM uses a phenomenological approach, which relates to working in the here and now to resolve the psychobiological patterns of developmental trauma. Laurence and Brad touch on such areas as:  how childhood trauma patterns show up in the here and now  working in the present moment with personal history and traumatic memories how to avoid trauma re-enactments and support trauma healing within the therapeutic relationship  the spiritual dimensions of the NARM approach in supporting post-traumatic growth If you enjoy this episode, we invite you to check out the NARM Inner Circle, where we host NARM Topic Webinars like this one every month. Some topics that we cover are: Differentiating Shock and Developmental Trauma; Working with Shame, Self-Hatred and Self-Sabotage; Complex Trauma and Addictions; Relational Trauma, Intimacy and Sexuality; Addressing Burnout in Helping Professionals; and the NARM Approach for Supporting Personal and Spiritual Growth.  To learn more about the Inner Circle and to sign up for a free two-week trial, please visit: www.narmtraining.com/freetrial To read the full show notes and discover more resources visit http://www.narmtraining.com/podcast *** NARM Level 2 Online Training begins January 2021. REGISTER NOW: https://narmtraining.com/transformingtrauma/level2/ *** NARM Training Institute http://www.NARMtraining.com *** The NARM Training Institute provides tools for transforming complex trauma through: in-person and online trainings for mental health care professionals; in-person and online workshops on complex trauma and how it interplays with areas like addiction, parenting, and cultural trauma; an online self-paced learning program, the NARM Inner Circle; and other trauma-informed learning resources.   *** We want to connect with you! Facebook @NARMtraining Twitter @NARMtraining YouTube Instagram @thenarmtraininginstitute

NARM Practitioner and coach Iris McAlpin specializes in eating disorder recovery, complex trauma, and self-sabotage. Iris also hosts a podcast called Pure Curiosity which seeks to facilitate nuanced conversations about the human experience and de-stigmatize mental health challenges. Iris shares that NARM has changed her life in being able to notice the ways that she puts pressure on herself and the ways that she tells herself that she ‘should’ be showing up in the world. Her intention for this episode is for listeners to also notice and be able to soften around the pressure that they place on themselves.  Sarah and Iris dive into how Iris began her work in eating disorder recovery, which began with her own healing and recovery from bulimia. Iris found that as she progressed in her recovery and was able to get control of the behaviors of her eating disorder, she began to turn her attention to her unresolved trauma, which was mostly relational in nature, that was at the root of the behaviors. NARM helped her to see this theme in a new way, as she came to understand that not only binging and purging, but “many other behaviors that we... throw under the umbrella of self-sabotage are really just coping tools,” for unhealed relational and attachment traumas. Iris takes listeners through a deeper look at the trauma of diet culture, in which clients deal with intense self loathing and self hatred, shame of their bodies and body image, and obsessive thinking about food. Iris acknowledges that doing this deeper level of work can feel really scary at times. She shares about her own experience of confronting her triggers, and how NARM has taught her to work with her fear by using curiosity to guide her. “I really see those triggers as an invitation to open.” This ability to see that nothing is ‘wrong’ with our survival styles, and instead look at our growing awareness of ourselves as an opportunity to learn and make different choices is central to the NARM process.    Contact: https://irismcalpin.com Instagram: @irismcalpin  Twitter: @irismcalpin    Bio: Iris McAlpin is a NARM Practitioner and coach specializing in eating disorder recovery, complex trauma and self-sabotage. She has both a private and group practice, and works with clients all over the world. Iris also has a podcast called Pure Curiosity, which seeks to facilitate nuanced conversations about the human experience and to destigmatize mental health challenges. To read the full show notes and discover more resources visit http://www.narmtraining.com/podcast *** NARM Level 2 Online Training begins January 2021. REGISTER NOW: https://narmtraining.com/transformingtrauma/level2/ *** NARM Training Institute http://www.NARMtraining.com *** The NARM Training Institute provides tools for transforming complex trauma through: in-person and online trainings for mental health care professionals; in-person and online workshops on complex trauma and how it interplays with areas like addiction, parenting, and cultural trauma; an online self-paced learning program, the NARM Inner Circle; and other trauma-informed learning resources.   *** We want to connect with you! Facebook @NARMtraining Twitter @NARMtraining YouTube Instagram @thenarmtraininginstitute

Heidi Winn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with a private practice in Fairfield, Iowa, who learned about NARM as she was grieving the loss of her teenage son, Finn, to suicide. In sharing this deeply personal story of loss, Heidi hopes listeners will feel a sense of hope and connection with themselves in their learning process, and be able to “experience a sense of the effulgence; the richness that I have had from this learning.”  Heidi uses the words “then-daughter” to refer to her son before he transitioned to describe the evolution of identity that took place. Heidi’s journey with her then-daughter began roughly five years ago, when she began harming herself, and eventually attempted suicide four times in one year and spent over three months in a hospital for her own safety. Heidi shares that it was during the hospital stay that her then-daughter finally opened up both to himself as well as to his family about what was going on inside, and reported to Heidi, “I had a moment of clarity last night. I'm a boy inside and I want to be called Finn.” This clarity had a profound effect on his suicidality, which dropped overnight from a seven on the hospital assessment scale (the highest intentionality and suicidal thoughts) to zero.  As a NARM Therapist, Heidi reflects back on this time with insight and self-compassion, recognizing how she was at times misattuned to her son and the ways that she unconsciously saw her children as extensions of her own identity. What has been described as parental narcissism, NARM helped Heidi to understand these dynamics within their relationship, and most importantly, to have “compassion for who we are, and where we were, and what we did, and that we did the best [we could].” To their devastation, Finn did commit suicide in his 8th grade year, while the family was dealing with financial barriers to purchasing the hormonal treatments that were helping him navigate his body’s maturation and menstrual cycle. Heidi shares the profound learning that she went through in grieving and integrating Finn’s death, including the ways that she has learned to navigate her grief through staying in touch with the complexity of her love and sadness. The ability to be with the complexity of her emotion and experience after losing Finn, is what is described in NARM as her psychobiological capacity to be with her own inner experience. With support from her community and family, Heidi describes the ways that she used her agency to direct her own experience and manage when she was overwhelmed by fear and despair.  Heidi closes the podcast reflecting on the ways that her relationship to her living daughter has changed, in that she has let go of trying to know what her daughter’s truth is or control her in the same ways that she might have before. Not only has NARM helped Heidi to be with the complexity of her own inner experience, its influence has also supported her to continue to allow others to be complicated and unfolding in their lives as well. When she supports other parents of transgender people, she notices that she has a bigger capacity to “be with the not knowing,” of who they are and who they will become. This depth has brought big changes to her practice as a psychotherapist, as she gives more space to her clients to learn who they are and what they want for themselves. As Sarah so beautifully reflects, it’s “a spiritual experience to sit with somebody who is becoming fully themselves.” *** About Heidi Heidi Winn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who has a private practice in Fairfield, Iowa. She has worked in the mental health field for over 30 years and has incorporated modalities stemming from Jungian Depth psychology, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, and EMDR. Heidi is now a NARM therapist, working to support clients with developmental and complex trauma to sit with and uncover barriers to their aliveness and truth. To read the full show notes and discover more resources visit http://www.narmtraining.com/podcast *** NARM Level 2 Online Training begins January 2021. REGISTER NOW: https://narmtraining.com/transformingtrauma/level2/ *** NARM Training Institute http://www.NARMtraining.com *** The NARM Training Institute provides tools for transforming complex trauma through: in-person and online trainings for mental health care professionals; in-person and online workshops on complex trauma and how it interplays with areas like addiction, parenting, and cultural trauma; an online self-paced learning program, the NARM Inner Circle; and other trauma-informed learning resources.   *** We want to connect with you! Facebook @NARMtraining Twitter @NARMtraining YouTube Instagram @thenarmtraininginstitute

Our need to understand and heal complex trauma has never been greater, and accessing the NARM Training Institute’s Level 2 NARM Therapist Training has never been easier! In this bonus clip, Transforming Trauma host Sarah Buino shares about a brand new offering from the NARM Training Institute, an online Level 2 NARM Therapist Training, including practical course details and registration information.  The NARM Therapist Training is an advanced clinical training for the healing of complex trauma. Enrollment is open to psychotherapists, counselors, social workers & other mental health professionals who work with trauma. The first online Level 2 NARM Therapist training begins in January 2021. If you're interested in learning more and to register, please visit: www.narmtraining.com/trainings/bay-area

Our host Sarah Buino is joined by therapist, social worker, and author Daniel Shaw to discuss his seminal book Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation. Daniel explores the theme of traumatic narcissism from a developmental and trauma-informed perspective. In his work, he connects the challenging symptoms and behaviors of clients diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder to the deeper understanding that they were raised in a highly traumatic environment by narcissistic caregivers. His underlying message for listeners is that, “It's important to understand what's going on in the mind of the narcissistic traumatizer in order to help patients free themselves from those relationships, in order for therapists to help the patient, and in order for the patients to help themselves.” Sarah and Daniel discuss the common thread in Daniel’s work and NARM. Much like in NARM, in which the therapists support clients to reconnect with their own agency, Daniel’s intention in working with people that have experienced narcissistic abuse is to help them “retrieve a faith in themselves that has been taken from them by the narcissistic abuser.” Sarah and Daniel close by discussing the role of the therapist, and how therapists can support the client in this process of self-reflection through being fully attuned and letting them know that we are “in their corner.” If the therapist is able to do this, the therapeutic relationship then becomes a place where the client can begin to feel this unconditional, fully present relationship from another, so that they can begin to feel it for themselves.  About Daniel:  www.danielshawlcsw.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/DanielShawLCSW Twitter: @NyackDanShaw Daniel Shaw is the author of Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation. He is faculty and supervisor in New York City at the National Institute for the Psychotherapies. He maintains his private psychotherapy practice In New York City and in Nyack, NY.   To read the full show notes and discover more resources visit http://www.narmtraining.com/podcast *** NARM Level 2 Online Training begins January 2021. REGISTER NOW: https://narmtraining.com/transformingtrauma/level2/ *** NARM Training Institute http://www.NARMtraining.com *** The NARM Training Institute provides tools for transforming complex trauma through: in-person and online trainings for mental health care professionals; in-person and online workshops on complex trauma and how it interplays with areas like addiction, parenting, and cultural trauma; an online self-paced learning program, the NARM Inner Circle; and other trauma-informed learning resources.   *** We want to connect with you! Facebook @NARMtraining Twitter @NARMtraining YouTube Instagram @thenarmtraininginstitute

"Consent is where it’s at… How do I offer that? How do I ask for it? How does it inform who I am to myself in the world?” ~Colleen Millen Our host Sarah Buino welcomes NARM Therapist and Accessible Yoga instructor Colleen Millen to dive into and discuss the theme of consent.  Colleen shares how her understanding of what consent means has deepened through her relationship with yoga and through her ongoing study of the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM).  Colleen shares honestly that at first she was reticent to join the NARM training because of a traumatic experience that she had in a previous training community. She shares that she had been part of a yoga healing community where consent was not represented, and where “there were some cultic dynamics that created power differentials that were very, very difficult and abusive.” She left that yoga community and continued to work as a therapist while she continued to heal from the experience of betrayal. After decades of dedicated yoga practice, she began asking herself “Do I want to teach yoga at all?”  Through this process of self-referencing and self-healing, she discovered the deeper aspects of yoga that continued to call to her, which led her toward trauma-informed yoga, and a new branch of yoga called Accessible Yoga. She describes that Accessible Yoga is specifically designed to place the student at the center of their own relationship with their practice. About Colleen:  Colleen works with complex trauma and regulation at Discovery Counseling Center in Danville, CA, a community mental health center. Accessibility and consent are core values and interests of her work. Colleen is also an Accessible Yoga Ambassador and trauma-informed yoga teacher and trainer. Contact Colleen:  Website: www.discoveryctr.net  Colleen’s Accessible Yoga classes: https://www.tworiversyoga.com/ To read the full show notes and discover more resources visit http://www.narmtraining.com/podcast *** NARM Online Basics Training begins November 13, 2020. REGISTER NOW Online NARM Basics Training: http://www.narmtraining.com/onlinebasics *** NARM Training Institute http://www.NARMtraining.com *** The NARM Training Institute provides tools for transforming complex trauma through: in-person and online trainings for mental health care professionals; in-person and online workshops on complex trauma and how it interplays with areas like addiction, parenting, and cultural trauma; an online self-paced learning program, the NARM Inner Circle; and other trauma-informed learning resources.   *** We want to connect with you! Facebook @NARMtraining Twitter @NARMtraining YouTube Instagram @thenarmtraininginstitute