HeightsCast: Forming Men Fully Alive

In this week's episode, we talk with headmaster Alavaro de Vicente about a central theme from our faculty workshop: self-mastery. As Alvaro explains, self-mastery is a certain integration of action, words, thoughts, and desires that gives one the interior freedom to not only do the good but to want to do the good. What does this self-mastery look like for teachers, for students, and for parents? How do we help our boys develop self-mastery? What is the role of a school in assisting parents with this great endeavor? As man is not made virtuous in a day, Mr. de Vicente encourages us to think long term. At the same, he reminds us to focus on the little things, those small, daily realities where aspiration becomes actuality. In particular, he suggests dress code, punctuality, and language as three battlefields on which we can wage war alongside our sons—not against them—as they grow in interior freedom. Self-mastery, Alvaro explains, is not about mastering the world or others. It is rather about mastery of oneself so as to be able to steward the little piece of creation which the Creator has given us. For some, this may be a team. For others, it could be a whole company or even a country. For most, this will be a family, for whom the father has a special kind of care—a care which is best lived out when he recognizes that he is both a father and the Father's son. Chapters 0:57 What is self-mastery? 2:30 The role of the school in developing self-mastery of students 5:00 Practical advice for developing self-mastery in students 6:23 Dress code 9:35 Punctuality 10:30 Language 13:12 School tone and self-mastery 14:54 Advice for teachers 15:45 Armando Valladares and interior freedom 19:20 Trusting our students 22:52 John Henry Cardinal Newman and the education of boys 23:30 Two applications of Newman's educational philosophy 26:45 Self-mastery and the order of creation 30:00 Living life to the fullest: how self-mastery can help us enjoy life more 31:15 Advice for parents 35:20 Implementing change in the home 39:38 Stories from Alvaro's upbringing 42:20 Recommended reading 43:50 A question to spark discussion Also on The Forum Respectful Dominion: Colin Gleason on Discipline with Colin Gleason Learn to Turn: Tom Royals on Parental Prudence with Tom Royals Manners: The Art of Happiness by Robert Greving Why My Computer Science Students Should Master the Guitar by George Martin Training the Hand to Train the Mind by Robert Greving Additional Resources A Catholic Eton? Newman's Oratory School by Paul Shrimpton Against All Hope: A Memoir of Life in Castro's Gulag by Armando Valladares

In this week's episode we discuss fights. Most boys, especially at a young age, have a beautiful need for rough and tumble physical play. But what happens when it's not play? What happens when egos are insulted and the fists go up? Or when there's an unjust aggression? At what point is a young lad–or an older one–justified in puttin' up his dukes? Teacher and Coach, Kyle Blackmer, gives us some points for consideration as we coach our sons on the use of physical force. In the end, this is another one of those areas where parents–most often, but not always, dad–are the primary educators of boys learning the proper employment of one of God's great gifts: their strength.

In many quarters of contemporary society, busy-ness has become a sort of cliche greeting. To the question "How are you?", the response, "So busy," is often automatic. To borrow the words of Dr. R.J. Snell, many of us are conspicuously busy; and we wear our busy-ness as a sort of badge of honor, rooting our worth in our work. In last week's episode, we talked with Dr. Snell about work and acedia. This week, we round out that episode with a discussion of what is ultimately the point of work, namely leisure. While we may often think of leisure as ordered toward work—we rest so that we may work more—Dr. Snell explains how the reverse is nearer the truth, not only etymologically but also metaphysically. Work is for the sake of leisure, as instrumental goods are for the sake of intrinsic goods. As you'll hear, if we take the Eucharistic feast seriously on Sunday, then the rest of our days will be caught up into that Eucharastic feast. Monday will be different, for though we may be just as busy as before, our activity will no longer be so frenetic. It may even take on the mysterious rhythm of a divine dance. 0:20 Relationship between leisure and acedia 0:35 Acedia as frenetic busy-ness 1:05 Total work and workaholism 1:44 School as leisure 2:30 Leisure is not an absence of activity 3:02 Sabbath work and goods for their own sake 5:04 Modern education and its discontents 5:52 Education as the feast 6:35 Mistake 1: Not respecting students as sovereign knowers 7:56 Mistake 2: Olympian vision of education 10:55 Overscheduling as a form of acedia 12:05 Conspicuous busy-ness 12:45 A culture of having and doing, rather than being 13:35 Sin as loving a lower good at the expense of a higher good 14:40 Sloth as a flattening of the Sabbath 14:56 Where do we begin? 15:40 Suggestions for the Sabbath 17:00 Sabbath overflowing into the work week 17:30 A Eucharistic life 18:25 Another sort of leisure 18:50 Leisure and contemplation in the work-a-day world 19:20 Living in and approving of the good 20:11 Dance as contemplation 21:53 Backyard sports as contemplation 23:50 A good question for conversation 24:10 What can we do to enjoy our time with each other more? 24:25 Catching the little foxes Also on The Forum Work and Acedia: R.J. Snell on Our Original Vocation with R.J. Snell OptimalWork series with Kevin Majeres What Is the Difference between Free Time and Leisure? by Joe Bissex Additional Resources Leisure: The Basis of Culture by Josef Pieper In Tune with the World by Josef Pieper Portsmouth Institute Family, Leisure, and the Restoration of Culture by R.J. Snell Acedia and Its Discontents: Metaphysical Boredom in an Empire of Desire by R.J. Snell Summa Theologiae, II.2.35: Sloth by St. Thomas Aquinas

A certain distinguished school leader, when asked when he would retire from his work, replied, "the day that I wake up and do not want to go to work." A reply such as this perhaps strikes the modern ear as senseless. For many of us, work fills the greater portion of our daily lives, but do we feel ourselves thereby fulfilled? Especially today, we may often feel trapped in what seem like unspectacular sisyphean cycles. This week, R. J. Snell, editor-in-chief of Public Discourse and director of the Center on the University and Intellectual Life at the Witherspoon Institute in Princeton, New Jersey, talks to HeightsCast about the virtues of work and its opposing vice, acedia. Drawing on insights from his book, Acedia and Its Discontents, R. J. helps us think through how these concepts are realized in the context of family life and life on campus. As we will hear, our everyday work is the ordinary means by which we participate not only in the perfection of God's creation but also in the perfection of our very selves. Our work is where the rubber meets the road; it is where mere aspiration is turned into actual reality. Ultimately, work is where heaven and earth merge. In realizing this often hidden truth, we may thereby discover that divine drama which is not a sisyphean cycle, but a spiral staircase. Chapters 1:17 Work as a gift 2:22 Error of thinking that work is a result of the Fall 3:23 Garden of Eden as in a state of potency: Adam and Eve are called to fill it 5:30 Work as part of being made in the image of God 7:15 How work fulfills us 7:35 Husbandry of the self 8:25 God's rule through our own self rule: participated theonomy 10:08 Work as the primary way of exercising self-governance 12:50 Cultivating the soil: on the way to beauty 14:25 The friendly universe 15:50 Grace perfects nature 16:41 The three tests of good work 18:45 The integrity of work and the worker's integrity 19:30 Bright-eyed children 21:25 Work as furnishing God's house 24:03 Education as cooperating with Grace 26:07 Acedia: a hatred of reality 27:05 Judge Holden and the desire for radical self-autonomy 30:00 Desert Fathers on acedia and the refusal of God's friendship 31:00 Sloth as the vice of our age 31:36 Natural history as the counter to acedia and reductionism 35:03 The little foxes: recognizing acedia creeping in 35:55 What you are doing now is where God is calling you 37:40 The divine drama of the most mundane things 38:50 Sabbath and rest Also on The Forum OptimalWork series with Kevin Majeres Why We Need Exposure to Nature by Eric Heil What Is the Difference between Free Time and Leisure? by Joe Bissex Additional Resources Portsmouth Institute Family, Leisure, and the Restoration of Culture by R. J. Snell Acedia and Its Discontents: Metaphysical Boredom in an Empire of Desire by R. J. Snell Summa Theologiae, II.2.35: Sloth by St. Thomas Aquinas

This episode features Mr. Michael Moynihan's lecture at last year's Teaching Vocation Conference. Our Upper School Head shares why a liberal arts education is needed more today than in times past. And the reasons are not simply that classics majors can code too. To the contrary, an authentic liberal education gives us not only truth, but also a ground upon which to stand. Many of our current social crises are rooted precisely in such a poverty: we mistrust much of our ability to know, and consequently we don't know much of what gives life purpose and meaning. Michael goes on to share four characteristics of a good liberal arts education. According to our Upper School Head, such an education: Teaches the right use of reason (grounding empirical sciences in realism at the bottom, and opening them to philosophy and transcendence at the top. In this vein, Michael challenges the current trends that simply limit the liberal arts to the humanities); Conveys meaning through a narrative approach, and in particular, meanings that offer a foundation resistant to materialism; Connects us to our tradition in such a way that facilitates authentic freedom; and Is firmly rooted in a realism that allows students to engage the real in a meaningful way. More on the Forum: "Fact or Opinion?": Roots of Relativism in an Ethical Dilemma Freedom in Quarantine: Daniel Bernardus on Leonardo Polo

In last week's episode, we considered how beauty is a special combination of order and surprise. To behold beauty, we learned, is to contemplate the dynamism of a being on the way to its perfection. It is to see the rose emerging from its seed. This week we talk with assistant headmaster, Tom Royals, about learning to see the beauty—albeit often messy beauty—of our own growing children. To be sure, in this adventure, we may find more surprise than order. Nevertheless, in learning to see our children with loving eyes, we learn to better understand them. And in better understanding them, we are better able to accompany them along their paths, each of which has its own peculiar order. In this episode, Tom encourages us to avoid thinking of our children as projects and instead to learn to contemplate them as free persons. For it is only in becoming contemplatives of our children that they will know themselves to be understood and loved, as they are. This knowledge, more than anything, will become the basis of their growth. Like Chesterton said of Rome, they are not loved because they were first great; they will become great because they have first been loved. Chapters 4:00 Not projects, but persons 5:43 To be seen and known 6:25 To be accompanied, not managed 7:20 To be contemplated 7:45 Charity as seeking to understand 9:30 Only the beloved sings 10:30 Accompanying as flowing from contemplating 11:50 The importance of knowing our stress points 13:08 ​​We are always teaching 15:30 Why we should "waste time" with our children 16:35 The importance of being available 19:15 The need for simplicity when attending to our children 21:00 The dangers of "search and destroy" mode 25:00 Why we should welcome guests into our homes 26:20 Storytelling around the dinner table 27:05 Limiting corrections at the dinner table 28:20 Parents and teachers are always learning 28:55 The long view in parenting and education 29:30 Loving your children as a manifestation of loving your spouse 31:12 Parenting and teaching: overflows of the interior life Also on The Forum 20 Ways to Improve the Family Dinner by Rich Moss Against Indifference by Tom Longano Ways to Foster a Family Culture by Alvaro de Vicente On Home as Social Hub: The Importance of Hosting Our Sons and Their Friends with Tom Royals Learn to Turn: Tom Royals on Parental Prudence with Tom Royals Cultivating Friendship in the Classroom by Austin Hatch Our Little Protectors: How Do WE See Our Boys? with Alvaro de Vicente

It sounds nice to say, using Dostoevsky's words, that beauty will save the world. But is this claim true? If so, in what sense is it true? What even is beauty? And what would it mean for it to save the world? This week, we welcome Dr. Lionel Yaceczko back to HeightsCast to discuss beauty: what it is and what the Western tradition can tell us about it. Today's episode is rooted in a previous discussion we had with Dr. Yaceczko, in which he spoke with us about Western civilization. In that episode, we considered what Western civilization is and why it is still worth studying today. This week, we look at one reason why the study of the West is a fruitful endeavor: it can help us better appreciate beauty. As we hear from Dr. Yaceczko, beauty consists in the marriage of order and surprise. It is the fruit of keeping the commandments and breaking the conventions. As such, seeing part of a beautiful work of art first invites our prediction—there is order and we can discern it—and then astounds our expectation—but that order is not mere slavish repetition. Whenever we find beauty in this world, we glimpse eternity. Each glimpse spurs us on to find the fullness of that beauty, which is our perfection and which will surpass all predictions: eye has not seen, nor ear heard what has been prepared for those who truly love. And when, God-willing, we find that Beauty—or perhaps, better yet, when He finds us— we will finally be at home. And yet, if our intuition about beauty here is on track, then we will forever be astonished with Whom we find. Chapters 2:33 What is the classical style? 2:53 From the web 2:43 Neoclassical architecture in D.C. 6:33 Balance and classical architecture 8:15 What is beauty? 11:44 On forms and the form 13:18 Can we have a common conception of beauty? 14:07 Subjective aspects of beauty 15:00 Beauty as movement toward the final cause 16:10 Use and abuse 17:28 Personal taste and beauty 19:17 What is nature? 20:18 Ancient philosophers against nature 21:38 Beyond mere accidental arrangement: objective nature 23:08 Beauty: the balance of order and surprise 24:05 Chesterton's Manalive 27:03 How does beauty relate to happiness? 28:11 The philosopher as teacher of happiness 29:38 The spontaneity of beauty 31:00 Lessons from Classical sculpture: a brief introduction 32:14 Contrapposto and the movement toward perfection 34:23 Verism 35:03 Architecture 38:43 Beauty and the liberal arts Also on The Forum A Study for All Seasons: Lionel Yaceczko on the Western Tradition with Dr. Lionel Yaceczko What Is the Difference between Free Time and Leisure? by Joe Bissex Five Fruits of a Poetic Education by Nate Gadiano The Way of Encounter by Joe Breslin Matter and Form, Substance and Accidents by Michael Moynihan Additional Resources The Making of Europe: An Introduction to the History of European Unity by Christopher Dawson Beauty: What It Is and Why It Matters by John-Mark L. Miravalle The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky Manalive by G. K. Chesterton

In this week's episode, we continue our conversation with Dr. Kevin Majeres, turning our attention to the importance of setting challenges and the way actions shape emotions. Drawing on these two topics, Dr. Majeres helps us think through how parents can best help a son that is struggling with an addiction of any sort. In particular, Dr. Majeres responds to the following questions: What is addiction? What is the neuroscience behind addiction? How does the particular addiction of pornography tie into this general understanding of addiction? How can we—or our sons—set challenges? How is flow the ultimate in self-mastery? For the adolescent boy struggling with addiction, what sorts of challenges are we trying to help him craft? How do we help him frame out the sort of challenge that will free him? As we hear from Dr. Majeres, true freedom consists in the ability to form a deep bond and faithfully maintain it over time. Rather than a mere negation—a freedom from some outside force—the deepest freedom lies in a freedom for, the ability to give of oneself to another. We might well say, then, that there is no greater freedom than the freedom of friendship, and that the greatest of friends is He who leads us in libertatem gloriae filiorum Dei: into the glorious freedom of the sons of God. Chapters 3:22 Defining Addiction 5:40 The Neuroscience of Addiction and the Divided Brain 8:12 When the Left Hemisphere Takes Over 9:15 Neuroscience and The Virtues 10:11 Addiction to Pornography 11:35 The Danger of Responding with Mere Rules 12:30 Freedom as the Ability to Form Faithful Bond 13:10 Growing Up Brave 14:27 How Goods are Communicated through Bonds 16:18 Parenting and Growth 17:18 Controlling the Controllable 18:54 The Physiology of Bonding 19:10 The Neuroscience of Ends and Means 19:55 Order in the Home 20:37 Focus on the Bond: People are not Projects 21:52 Growth in Mastery: Endless Dopamine 25:30 Types of Challenges and the Divided Brain 26:25 Quality Challenges 28:04 Left Brain and Addictions 30:12 Flow as the Ultimate in Self-Mastery 30:48 Love as a Form of Flow 31:20 Contemplation as a Form of Flow 32:25 Contemplation and Work 33:40 Helping Our Sons Craft Challenges 34:20 The Importance of Deep Listening 35:50 The Danger of Problem Solving for Our Sons 38:34 How Should Parents Approach Challenges? 39:23 Outcomes vs. Growth 41:10 Classical Virtue Theory and Neuroscience 48:05 OptimalWork Resources Additional Resources The Master and His Emissary by Iain McGilchrist Growing Up Brave by Donna Pincus OptimalWork on YouTube OptimalWork MasterClass Also on The Forum On Freedom and Phones with Alvaro de Vicente Why Boys Need to Be Given Freedom by Andrew Reed Freedom in the Upper School by Rich Moss

We have all experienced moments in which we are so immersed in a task that we lose track of time and performance feels effortless. For some, this may occur on the sports field; for others, in the classroom; and still, for others, in the performance hall. Yet, we have likely also experienced the opposite. For many children, the struggle for concentration is probably more prevalent. Last week, we began a three-part series with Dr. Kevin Majeres. We discussed what anxiety is and how parents can help their sons—and themselves—turn occasions of anxiety into opportunities for growth. This week, we are back with Dr. Majeres to discuss attention and mindfulness. In the episode, Dr. Majeres helps us begin to answer the following questions: Although we all may know the symptoms, what really is at the heart of attentional issues? What is a distraction? How does it differ from an interruption? What is occurring physiologically when boys experience attentional difficulties? What are ways to develop the muscles of attention? What are common practices that cause attention to atrophy? Is medicating a good way to approach attentional issues? What is mindfulness? What are ways for younger children to practice mindfulness? How does freedom relate to mindfulness? In the end, mindfulness offers us a doorway into two aspects of freedom that are at the heart of human flourishing. Learning to attend to our work at school helps us to attend to others in society. And, in both instances, learning to attend well is a pathway to love; for what we love captures our attention — what lover does not often find his mind turning to his beloved? — and that to which we attend, we can begin to love. If education is the turning of a mind, as we hear in the Republic, then mindfulness may well be fundamental to its success. For when one turns toward the truth, he will thereby be ready not only to recognize it but, even more, he will be prepared to fall in love with it. Chapters 2:05 Introduction and Review of Episode 1 3:55 What is ADD and ADHD? 4:38 The Two Halves of Attention 6:28 Training the Default Mode Network 7:28 The Neuroscience of Attentional Difficulties 7:53 Theta Waves and the Muscle of Attention 9:05 The Three Movements of Attentional Training 9:55 Medication and the Gray Matter 11:13 Are Attentional Difficulties a Fixed Trait? 12:02 What Weakens the Attention 12:45 Video Games 13:25 How Music, Reading, and Work are not like Video Games 14:53 Passive Attention 15:30 Memory and Attention 16:35 The Importance of Imagination 18:01 Strengthening Attention 19:15 Slowing Down and Mindfulness 20:08 The Importance of Order and Predictability 22:15 Silence and Work 22:50 How distractions differ from Interruptions 26:00 Mindfulness for Young Children 30:18 The Golden Hour 31:33 Strategies for a Helping a Reluctant Boy 33:16 Forming the Perimeter 37:33 Mindfulness and Interior Freedom 38:50 The Freedom for Personal Bonds Additional Resources What is a Golden Hour? with Dr. Kevin Majeres and Sharif Younes Back to the Basics: An Intro to OptimalWork with Dr. Kevin Majeres OptimalWork on YouTube Reflections on the Right Use of School Studies by Simone Weil Also on The Forum From Anxiety to Adventure with Dr. Kevin Majeres Why We Need Exposure to Nature by Eric Heil Training the Hand to Train the Mind by Robert Grieving Three Guiding Principles for Homework by Rich Moss

Adorning our school's main hallway is a sort of charter for the Heights graduate which designates him as a man who is "optimistic toward life's challenges," as one who "sees freedom as an opportunity to choose the good." Fostering these ideals in each student is a central aspect of the school's mission. But, in a world that is increasingly filled with children suffering from anxiety, how—in very practical terms—can we help our students develop such an outlook on life? Last month, we heard from Mr. Alex Berthé on how parents can find peace in an anxiety ridden world. This week on HeightsCast, we begin a series of discussions with Dr. Kevin Majeres, lecturer at Harvard Medical School and Founder of OptimalWork. In this three-part series, we take a deep dive into three sets of challenges which are becoming increasingly prevalent in today's youth, and three mindsets or skills that can help us as parents and teachers to help our boys help themselves: Anxiety Attention Addiction Our first discussion with Dr. Majeres focuses on anxiety. Combining years of experience as a psychiatrist and drawing on research in cognitive behavioral therapy, Dr. Majeres teaches us both what anxiety is and what we can do about it. In the episode, we learn: The Foundation of Growth The importance of having a growth mindset—seeing yourself as capable of real improvement. Learning to reframe out of a fixed mindset. Anxiety Anxiety is adrenaline with a negative frame. Adrenaline is a performance-enhancing hormone, which is meant to improve one's capacities, whether physical or cognitive. All anxiety disorders come from seeing anxiety as a disorder; they are the fruit of seeing the effects of adrenaline as a problem. Children's preferences are often manifestations of anxiety coupled with avoidance; it is crucial to help people from a young age to stay with a challenge and not flee from anxiety. Reframing Reframing is deliberately finding the opportunity for growth in a challenge that one had previously viewed negatively. The way the body utilizes hormones depends on how we frame them; reframing is not mere wishful thinking. Start small; don't tackle the biggest challenge first. Cheerfulness Cheerfulness is often synonymous with courage. The family is where we first learn to see challenges as opportunities. If parents foster a smiling approach to challenges, then even a quick thought of them can become a reframe for their children. An essential component of The Heights School's mission is to help students discover the adventure hidden in every challenge they face. Having spoken with Dr. Majeres, we might phrase this skill as the ability to turn the adrenaline of anxiety into the adventure of everyday life. Chapters 2:35 Introduction to Possible Solutions 3:55 A Snapshot of Mindfulness 5:08 A Snapshot of Addictions 6:45 A Quick Biography of Dr. Majeres 9:55 What is Anxiety? 13:34 Helping Young People with Anxiety 16:58 Parents as Savvy Exposure Therapy Coaches 19:12 The "A" Word: Should We Name It? 20:06 Safety Training 23:23 Reframing from a Parent's Perspective 25:21 What is Reframing? 26:28 Game Theory 28:13 Double Exposure, Double Mastery 30:01 Breaking a Fixed Mindset 34:18 The Importance of Being Cheerful 36:50 Why Not to Complain 38:23 Learning to See Challenges as Opportunities 39:10 The Importance of Role Models 42: 55 Reframing Parental Anxiety Additional Resources The Golden Hour with Dr. Kevin Majeres Turning the Knots in Your Stomach into Bows by Jeremy Jamieson, et al. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck Also on The Forum "Learn to Turn": Tom Royals on Parental Prudence Parenting: Patience or Optimism with Andrew Reed The Stressed Son: The Causes of Adolescent Anxiety with Alvaro de Vicente Be the Rock: Fatherhood During Times of Crisis by Kyle Blackmer Toughness for the Adolescent Boy by Kyle Blackmer