Sound Mind Set

In the Book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon in all his wisdom worked hard to figure out why life is completely out of his control, even as a powerful king. In his writings, he was frustrated and angry and cynical and flippant and sarcastic. Does that sound familiar at all? Thank God that He gave us such a wide variety of people and circumstances in His Word to show us the collision between the divine and the human.Listen to Ecclesiastes 8:7-9 in The Message … Yes, there’s a right time and way for everything, even though, unfortunately, we miss it for the most part. It’s true that no one knows what’s going to happen, or when. Who’s around to tell us? No one can control the wind or lock it in a box. No one has any say-so regarding the day of death. No one can stop a battle in its tracks. No one who does evil can be saved by evil. All this I observed as I tried my best to understand all that’s going on in this world. As long as men and women have the power to hurt each other, this is the way it is.Can you relate to any of Solomon’s words?When we can’t actually control anything about life but we want to, we usually end up hurting one another, trying to control each other. And we have to be so careful that we don’t end up trying too hard to control our kids. Control is never the point of parenting.Let’s fast-forward to the end of Ecclesiastes where Solomon finally resolves his search for truth.The words of the wise prod us to live well. They’re like nails hammered home, holding life together. They are given by God, the one Shepherd. But regarding anything beyond this, dear friend, go easy. There’s no end to the publishing of books, and constant study wears you out so you’re no good for anything else. The last and final word is this: Fear God. Do what he tells you. And that’s it. (Ecclesiastes 12:11-14 MSG) So, evidently it’s okay to run through all of our crazy, mixed-up emotions and express our cynical and sarcastic opinions of how life treats us. Because what matters most after the process is where we end up. Better, not bitter. Realizing we will never be God and He always will be. And that will always be a great place to land.Let’s pray together: “Heavenly Father, please help me to realize I can vent with You as my Father. I can tell you exactly what I think. You already know what I’m thinking so I may as well just voice it. But remind me in those moments that all I am saying is that You have to be in control—and to thank You that I’m not. As above, so below.”

One of the toughest things we have to deal with in life is when something we care about is taken completely out of our control. Then anytime it involves our kids, that adds a heightened level of emotions. And if you add issues like hurt, distrust, betrayal, and being unfair, all of life can quickly seem unbearable and confusing.Fortunately, the Bible has a lot to say about these very human dynamics because we all deal with them, more than we ever want to. For that reason alone, we have to learn where to go for help.In chapter 30 in the Book of Proverbs, King Solomon gets very real about life while talking to God … I am weary, O God; I am weary and worn out, O God. I am too stupid to be human, and I lack common sense. I have not mastered human wisdom, nor do I know the Holy One. Who but God goes up to heaven and comes back down? Who holds the wind in his fists? Who wraps up the oceans in his cloak? Who has created the whole wide world? What is his name—and his son’s name? Tell me if you know! Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to him for protection. (1-5 NLT) Bottom line here … When life wears you out, just admit you are fragile, you don’t know everything, don’t know what to do, don’t know what God is up to, but also … if He has created everything and is control of all you see, then He knows what to do with your life and will protect you … even, yes even, when it does not feel like it.This passage is not to be taken as someone speaking from a poor self-image, but how we feel when life gets out of our control. All to remind ourselves who we are not and who God is.Listen once again:I am weary, O God; I am weary and worn out, O God. I am too stupid to be human, and I lack common sense. I have not mastered human wisdom, nor do I know the Holy One. Who but God goes up to heaven and comes back down? Who holds the wind in his fists? Who wraps up the oceans in his cloak? Who has created the whole wide world? What is his name—and his son’s name? Tell me if you know! Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to him for protection. (30:1-5 NLT) What feels totally out of control in your life right now?Here’s the odd, yet good news … if you can admit it’s out of your control, then maybe it’s totally in God’s control? Why don’t you take a minute and invite Him to take over anything you are struggling with? Right now.Let’s pray together: “Heavenly Father, I guess feeling like I’m in control of anything is just an illusion, huh? Would you take over everything right now—the things I think I’m controlling and the things I know are completely out of my control? … As above, so below.”

The toughest thing about trying to live as a Christ-follower is being beat down by the world, all the while knowing Heaven is a reality waiting for us one day. But it’s hard to see Heaven when we feel like Hell is constantly on our doorstep, isn’t it?We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus, will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you. All of this is for your benefit. … That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. (NLT) When things are tough, especially inside your own family and dealing with your kids, try and remember this life is temporary … in several ways … one, your children are growing up and there will be a day when they will leave home, and two, there will be a day that Heaven will move from a someday thing to a reality. So hold onto it all loosely and maybe a little less intensly.Listen to today’s passage in the Message Bible … And what we believe is that the One who raised up the Master Jesus will just as certainly raise us up with you, alive. Every detail works to your advantage and to God’s glory … So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.What problem are you holding onto just a bit too tightly right now?What issue should you take a little less seriously right now?What do you need to change your perspective on to see it as temporary? Because it is.Let’s pray together: “Heavenly Father, please help me to stand up when I feel like giving up. Help me to release my grip when I feel like taking control. Help me to hand over to You everything I hold on to. As above, so below.”

From a teenage boy in the fields alone with the sheep to a king in the palace, David’s life knew trouble … trouble he made for himself, trouble from others, and a lot of trouble with his kids.Despite his issues, David constantly showed us how to turn to the Lord with anything and everything.Listen to Psalm 18:1-6 …I love you, Lord; you are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.  I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies. The ropes of death entangled me; floods of destruction swept over me. The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path. But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears. (NLT) If you were to composed a psalm of your own, what would you say to God? What would you say about God?You know what enemies, threats, floods, and distress feel like, don’t you? Do you know the other side David speaks about? To allow God to rescue you? To cry out to Him for help?Listen to part of this passage again in The New Life Bible … I love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, and my safe place, and the One Who takes me out of trouble. My God is my rock, in Whom I am safe. He is my safe-covering, my saving strength, and my strong tower. I call to the Lord, Who has the right to be praised. And I am saved from those who hate me. The ropes of death were all around me. The floods of death make me afraid. The ropes of the grave were all around me. The traps of death were set for me. I called to the Lord in my trouble. I cried to God for help. He heard my voice from His holy house. My cry for help came into His ears.Let’s take a few moments to list some of the major troubles you have experienced … maybe something you are walking through right now?Now list what God has done or what You want to see Him do?Listing, even writing out your prayers is a great exercise … one you might try doing with your kids too.Let’s pray together: “Heavenly Father, You are my strength, my Rock, my Safe Place, my Covering, my Strong Tower. Thank You for hearing me when I cry out to You. Thank You for answering, not always on my time, but on Yours. As above, so below.”

When we face tough times, when we don’t know what to do as a parent, when disappointment and heartache comes, we have to remember Jesus came and experienced all these same hurts and emotions and so He understands how we feel. Listen to Hebrews 4:14-16 … So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. (NLT) How often have you been in a dark moment and thought, “I just wish someone could understand what I’m going through right now. How I feel.”? How amazing is it that God tells us when we are weak and failing the test, that actually is the best time to come boldly before Him … to receive mercy and find grace. … Help when we need it most.Listen to this passage again in The Message Bible … Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.What part of this passage stood out to you? Spoke to you?How great is it that we are told to … walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help?Knowing that God has experienced what you are feeling and is ready, waiting to give you the mercy and strength you need. Can I do that now? Imagine in your mind your Father is with you now, He knows the struggle already, can you boldly walk to him and ask for what He promises He is ready to give? Ask for mercy and then ask for help.What if you wrote that message across your bathroom mirror? To see it first thing every morning and the last thing at night? Take the mercy, accept the help. … amen.Let’s pray together: “Heavenly Father, when I’m weak, when I’m being tested by my kids, when I have no idea what to do, remind me to “take the mercy and accept the help.” As above, so below.”

Parenting is a long-haul job. A job we don’t get days off from and we cannot quit. We all need constant emotional, mental, and spiritual fuel to keep on keeping on in raising our kids.Listen to Romans 5:2-5 …Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (NLT) Confidence. Joy. Help for problems and trials. Endurance. Character. Strength. Hope that does not disappoint. Our hearts filled with love. Who else could possibly offer that kind of guarantee but God?Listen to verses 3-5 in The Message …There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!Do you believe your current troubles can develop passionate patience in you? Something we all desperately need as parents in today’s culture, right?The next time you feel hemmed in by trouble, know that you aren’t being short-changed, but God will provide a way out and, then on the other side, you can experience the “tempered steel of virtue.”Let’s pray together: “Heavenly Father, when trouble comes, especially with my kids, help me to look for You in the midst of the mess. Teach me to anticipate what You are going to do on the other side. As above, so below.”

Galatians 5:22 and 23 offers us a list of qualities and characteristics that God will give us. Then, as parents, can become a blessing to our children.But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (NLT) Picture a fruit tree … whatever fruit is your favorite … when that tree begins to show the fruit it grows on its branches, does it then use that for its own food? Of course not. The fruit of the tree is not for the tree, but for those who can take part in its maturity and enjoy its blessing. Does picking the fruit to eat hurt the tree? No. Two reasons why … that’s the purpose of the tree and it can grow more.The same concept is what God’s fruit produces and provides in us—our maturity and growth that blesses others, but most especially our own kids.Listen to The Message Bible’s take on this same passage:But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.So, are you strong in kindness but struggle in self-control? Good at expressing love but battle being at peace within your heart? Take a few minutes to do a fruit inspection with God. Let Him show you anywhere you need to submit to Him. Keep in mind, none of us can produce this fruit on our own.Let’s pray together: “Heavenly Father, help me to love, to find joy, to allow peace, to be patient, be kind, show goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and please help me to have self-control by giving control of everything to You. As above, so below.”

“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love.  When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. … Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. This is my command: Love each other. (John 15:9-13, 15-17 NLT) Did you notice how many times Jesus used the word “love”? And did you also notice He called us “friends”? There is such an incredible intimacy in this passage. Jesus literally commanded us to love with our very lives. A love that impacts eternity, our families, and what our families do and take part in as believers.Today’s passage in the Message Bible …“I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love. “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. … I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father. “You didn’t choose me, remember; I chose you, and put you in the world to bear fruit, fruit that won’t spoil. As fruit bearers, whatever you ask the Father in relation to me, he gives you. “But remember the root command: Love one another.How can you grow in your love for your kids … the kind of love Jesus talked about here?How can you love one another better inside your own home?How can you lead your kids to love people … not just certain people or people that look like them but everyone?The answers to these questions are what your faith is all about.Let’s pray together: “Heavenly Father, I need to grow in love… my love for You, myself, my kids, and others. Help me to teach my kids how to love … love like You. As above, so below.”

One of the most telling and incredible passages in the New Testament is where Jesus talks about the difference in those who follow Him and those who don’t, and how you can tell them apart here on earth. What is also fascinating here is the things He cares about the most in what we do with our lives.“But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left. “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ (Matthew 25:31-40 NLT) So what does it appear God cares a lot about? Did you catch it? Feeding the hungry. Providing for those who have no water or no clean water. The homeless. The naked. The poor. The sick. Those in prison.Why do you think the righteous responded by asking Jesus…..”when did we see you among those we ministered to”? … Notice they knew they did those things, they were just asking Jesus where He was?What if once a week, you found some way for you and your kids to do just one of these things? It doesn’t have to take a lot of money … it can just take a little time and energy. Maybe sponsor a child with one of the many aid and education organizations and let your kids write a letter to the child? Let them choose the country and the child. Or you could take a few canned goods to a local food pantry and ask for a tour of what they do? Write a letter to an inmate in prison through one of the many great prison ministry organizations?And remember and remind your kids—when you do it for someone like this, you are actually doing it for Jesus. He said so.Let’s pray together: “Heavenly Father, I confess I get overwhelmed with the problems of the world and end up doing nothing. Help me to take this passage and focus on just one simple act to get started on what your sheep do.  I certainly know what it looks like to be over looked and ignored, so let’s help those who live that way every day.  As above so below.”

Billy Graham once said, “The true test of who we really are is found inside our own families.” And let’s be honest, we see the very best of one another and then the very worst. Watching video from our homes, someone might accuse any of us of being Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, right? But God knows that … it’s called flesh and spirit.The apostle Paul was a brilliant and articulate man. But a man with a horrible past. Before he met Christ, he went after Christians to imprison or execute them. He oversaw the stoning of Stephen, approving of a brutal death. So he understood so well how evil we can be, even while thinking we are doing something right in our own eyes. Listen to his words in Romans 7 … listen close, because this is quite a passage to take in … And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.  I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong.  I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.  (Romans 7:18-25 NLT) How would really understanding these verses allow you to change your understanding of your own behavior? Your kids’ behavior? How might this change your parenting … not meaning you cut slack as much as you better understand your kids’ hearts?We get Paul’s frustration, don’t we? This makes a lot of sense. We watch it in our kids literally every day.How can you take in these words and allow the truth here to impact your parenting, your response to your own behavior, that of your kids, and the dynamics inside your home? Remember this: The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ … acted to set things right in this life of contradictions … Let’s pray together: “Heavenly Father, I get it. The very thing I don’t want to do, I do. And the very thing I want to do, I don’t do. Thank You that You understand this daily battle within me, within my family. Help me to apply Your truth and Your answers in my heart and in my home. As above, so below.”