The Couples Therapist Couch

This episode is a recording of a webinar I did recently with the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook group. We talk about the implications of this time during the coronavirus pandemic.  The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Today's Sponsor The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention.  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

In the last few days we are seeing changes in our whole society that are bigger and happening more quickly than anything else in decades. At some point in the coming weeks, most of us will have to consider seeing clients online as restrictions continue because of the Coronavirus.  This is a special episode with Clay Cockrell which specifically addresses the issue of moving your Couples Therapy practice online. It is a particularly helpful conversation for those who haven't practiced online before. Clay has a podcast called The Online Counseling Podcast and an Online Counseling Directory. These can be found at onlinecounseling.com. Clay also has a new podcast called Finding Therapy which can be found at these social media handles: https://www.facebook.com/findingtherapy https://www.instagram.com/findingtherapypodcast/ https://twitter.com/FindingTherapy (@findingtherapy) Podcast: https://www.onlinecounselling.com/finding_therapy/ The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Today's Sponsor The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention.  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

Most Couples Therapists understand the importance of bringing sex into the conversation in couples therapy. Unfortunately, most feel unprepared to know what questions to ask, how to make clients feel comfortable, and what to do with the information once it is part of the conversation. In this episode, Sex Therapist, Martha Kauppi and I talk all about how to do that. Martha Kauppi has a lifelong career in sexual health, counseling, and creative education. She has been a midwife, an artist, and is currently a certified sex therapist. She is the founder of The Institute for Relational Intimacy which is committed to competence working with a full array of sex issues, including sexual health concerns, alternative sexualities, problematic sexual behavior, and LGBTQAI+ related concerns. Check out Martha's website at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com Martha Kauppi, surveyed over a hundred therapists about their toughest cases related to sexuality. She found that the vast majority of these tough cases revolved around desire discrepancy. Guided by these responses, Martha crafted an in-depth article series designed to help therapists work with their toughest desire discrepancy cases. Now she’s sharing it, at no charge. The five-part series will show you how to: ● Untangle the relationship between menopause and desire discrepancy ● Help higher-desire partners cope, despite frustration and resentment ● Rekindle the spark in relationships gone flat ● Break the toxic cycle of internal or external pressure that further decreases desire ● Help higher-desire female partners in heterosexual relationships deal with the shame and embarrassment of not matching gender expectations Get the complimentary article series delivered direct to your inbox by signing up here. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Today's Sponsor The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention.  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

We often see clients in our offices who are struggling with things like a lack of fulfillment, a deep sense that something isn't right with me, a feeling of disconnection, and a lack of emotional intelligence. It can be hard to know how to work with these clients and help them make connections about why they might be feeling these things. In this episode, Dr. Jonice Webb sheds light on this issue and discusses how prevalent the reality of Childhood Emotional Neglect is in our society and the impact it has on people's lives and relationships.  Dr. Jonice Webb is a recognized psychologist expert with over 25 years of experience, and the author of the best-selling books Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents & Your Children. Find out more about Jonice Webb at childhoodemotionalneglect.com Take the Childhood Emotional Neglect Assessment Get your copies of Running on Empty and Running on Empty No More The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Today's Sponsor The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention.  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

How is masturbation being used in the couple--as a path of least resistance to avoid confronting sexual/relational issues or as an add-on to an otherwise good shared sex life? How can couples balance the right to self-pleasure against the right to a sexually available partner? Does masturbation use up sexual interest--or kindle it? Does it matter whether external erotic material is used (porn, erotica, etc)? Dr. Ari Tuckman discusses these, and many other topics in the latest episode of the The Couples Therapist Couch. Ari is an expert at working with ADHD, relationships and is also a sex therapist. He has written 4 books and has a podcast about ADHD called More Attention, Less Deficit. Books: ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship (August 2019) Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD: A Practical, Easy-to-Use Guide for Clinicians Find out more at adultadhdbook.com The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Today's Sponsor I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

One of the most difficult thing we do as couples therapists is to get both members of a couple to feel like we get them and we want what is best for them. In this episode, EFT trainer and supervisor, Ryan Rana, walks us through the process of attuning to a client's deepest pain or attachment dilemma. Once we show them that we "get it," they will be much more hopeful about the work in couples therapy. Ryan Rana, PhD, LMFT, LPC is an ICEEFT certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor and Therapist. He is the current President and Founder of the Arkansas EFT Center. He and his wife, Anne, founded The Joshua Center where he currently practices and acts as the Executive Director. Ryan is a sought after public speaker. Ryan also supervises and consults with clinicians and leaders in Arkansas and around the world in online platforms. In his 21 year career he has spoken to groups on over 1,000 occasions. Find out more at ryanrana.com and arkansaseft.com The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Today's Sponsor I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

When couples are unable to communicate because they get emotionally escalated, it is often a result of trauma. Dr. Janina Fisher helps people become aware of these emotions and parts of themselves in a way that they can begin to heal and grow and improve their relationships. Janina Fisher, PhD is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Instructor at the Trauma Center, an outpatient clinic and research center founded by Bessel van der Kolk. Known for her expertise as both a therapist and consultant, Dr. Fisher lectures and teaches nationally and internationally on topics related to the integration of research and treatment and how to introduce these newer trauma treatment paradigms in traditional therapeutic approaches. Find out more at janinafisher.com Get her book, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Today's Sponsor I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

Women are expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We’re bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality. In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary. (from the Amazon book description for Taking Sexy Back) Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon is a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University and a licensed clinical psychologist. She is the author of the book Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want (New Harbinger, 2017). Her second book, about sexual self-awareness, Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationship You Want, was published in February 2020. Dr. Solomon maintains a psychotherapy practice for individual adults and couples, teaches and trains marriage and family therapy graduate students, and teaches the internationally renowned undergraduate course, “Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101.” Find out more at dralexandrasolomon.com The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Today's Sponsor I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

We often have clients who are shut down emotionally and don't understand why. It is difficult for them to access their emotions. Most of the time this is due to living in a family where emotional expression either wasn't modeled or encouraged, or  where it was actively shut down. This emotional neglect is abusive and shaming to children, but most people think that it was just "normal" which can be part of what makes it so difficult to work with. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Today's Sponsor The Couples Therapist Inner Circle This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In talking about factors that destroy relationships, Dr. Pat Love speaks with such depth and wisdom about all the things that are required to have a secure, healthy relationship. She talks about emotional security, attachment, systems theory, the relational set up, being flexible and spontaneous and so much more that we often take for granted in our relationships. Dr. Pat Love is known for her warmth, humor, and practical, research-based wisdom. Her blog posts, YouTube clips, books, trainings, workshops, and online courses have made her a popular go-to relationship consultant. Her work has been featured on TV, in cyberspace, and popular magazines, but she’s also a distinguished professor, licensed marriage and family therapist, and long-standing clinical member and approved supervisor in American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Dr. Love (yes that is her real surname) has authored/co-authored six books, has written numerous professional publications, and has developed multiple training programs including Love Education™. Her work literally has taken her around the world to help people understand and improve their relationships. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Today's Sponsor The Couples Therapist Inner Circle This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.