The Art of Charm

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How's a college kid expected to get a date without owning a sweet ride? Okay, okay. So dogs don't exactly see the world in black and white. Are the two toughest things in sobriety romance and finance? Fun fact we just made up: the average Colombian is into cocaine like the average American is into ballet. We helped a listener -- who paid attention to our networking and body language episodes -- ace his job interview! Afraid the check you want to cash from your deadbeat relative is going to bounce? Here's one strategy to make sure you get what you're owed without hassle. Do we have any tips for retaining and getting the most out of all the knowledge we drop on you almost every day? Documentary of the Week: Sour Grapes A quick shoutout to X and Y! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Full show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes// Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! The Art of Manliness is a podcast that explores all things manly -- from the serious and philosophical to the practical and fun. Check it out here! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Admiral William H. McRaven (@billmcraven) masterminded and executed the mission that brought down Osama bin Laden and is the author of Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World. "Opportunities, to me, are always the jobs that nobody else wants." -Admiral William H. McRaven The Cheat Sheet: What are the benefits to taking every day, as a Navy SEAL might say, "one evolution at a time?" What are the potential downfalls of having a 20-year plan? Why is taking advantage of opportunities more important than charting a course -- and how can we spot them? What are you proving when you're willing to take professional risks -- even when you don't succeed? What is the most important thing to understand about leadership? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/654/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it from returning for a full twelve hours per rinse. Visit SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth, scientific analysis of how SmartMouth is able to deliver such incredible results! With Business Platinum from American Express, it's not about where you are, it's about where you want to take your business next. Explore the Power of The Business Platinum Card here! Rhone makes gear for the modern man who demands modern style, comfort, and quality. Click here or go to rhone.com and enter promo code CHARM at checkout to get 20% off your first purchase! You know James Altucher -- he's been on The Art of Charm, and Jordan's been on his show. We share a lot of similar guests, but we ask different questions. Check out The James Altucher Show here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Robin Dreeke (@rdreeke) is a 28-year veteran of federal service, former head of the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program, and co-author of The Code of Trust: An American Counterintelligence Expert's Five Rules to Lead and Succeed. "You can be the most brilliant person on the face of the earth with the most amazing skills, but if you can't develop relationships and have trust, you're completely worthless." -Robin Dreeke The Cheat Sheet: Learn the Code of Trust's five principles and how they help us build rapport. Understand the difference between manipulation and trust. Discover why trustworthy people always rise to the top. Find out how to get others to open up and connect with us -- spy style. Recognize why real leaders put the needs of others before their own -- and don't keep a score card. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/653/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This Minisode Monday, we try an exercise designed to make you consider the importance of perspective and useful illusions: how does your pet see the world? The Cheat Sheet: As we've learned from conversations with David Eagleman, Isaac Lidsky, and Jason Silva, reality differs by how it is perceived. If that sounds like woo-woo nonsense, try to consider how the world with which you interact every day is experienced by others. If you were to gain the magical ability to ask a dog, a cat, and a dust mite to describe the world around them, what kind of answers would you expect? The dog sees in black and white. The cat would strongly advocate for the safety of tiny boxes and high places. The dust mite's entire world might be the inside of your mattress -- something with which you interact every day, but have probably never seen (unless you really need a new mattress). The version of the world you would describe back to them would be just as varied, biased, flawed, and seemingly inaccurate. Though biased and flawed, places where our realities -- constructed by our senses and perceptions -- overlap create a useful illusion that keeps us from constantly running into each other. Still, we need to remember that our reality is not a hundred percent of someone else's reality. Instead of rejecting someone else's reality because it doesn't match your experience, try adopting their perspective to understand their differences. Start bending your own reality instead of trying to bend the reality of others to fit your fiction. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-71-how-does-your-pet-see-the-world/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, Forbes Network, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Can a relationship between a teetotaler and someone who enjoys the company of spirits endure? How does an immigrant high schooler make friends when they're the only representative of their homeland and none of the existing cliques seem open to new membership? How do you tell your churchgoing family and friends that you're really more spiritual than religious? What can you do to alleviate that weird face you always make when someone throws you a little too much eye contact for comfort? Is there such a thing as an appropriate way to hit on customers when you're working behind a counter? How can a committed vegetarian or vegan avoid coming off as condescending or making people feel like they have to defend themselves? Documentary of the Week: Banking on Bitcoin Quick shoutouts to Amal in Djibouti and Aaron D! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/fmf132/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Talkspace makes it easy to connect with an experienced, licensed therapist who you pick based on your preferences for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy. Click here and use coupon code CHARM to get $30 off your first month! Can you work out with a pill that's safer than steroids? Check out the Ben Greenfield Fitness all-inclusive guide to gaining muscle, losing fat, and much more with SARMs (Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Daniel McGinn, a senior editor at Harvard Business Review and author of "Psyched Up," dives into the science of mental preparation. He discusses how elite athletes utilize rituals and personalized highlight reels to boost confidence and manage nerves. McGinn explains the power of reframing anxiety as excitement and emphasizes the importance of healthy routines in both sports and everyday professions. He shares insights on designing practical pre-performance rituals and how to use rivalry strategically for motivation.

Frank Sesno (@franksesno) is an award-winning journalist with more than 30 years of experience, and the author of Ask More: The Power of Questions to Open Doors, Uncover Solutions, and Spark Change. "If you want to confront a problem, you have to go looking for it -- and cannot avert your eyes when you find it." -Frank Sesno The Cheat Sheet: Knowing how to ask good questions is a springboard to understanding others and making better connections. Why we should think of our line of questioning as a diet -- and ensure that it's balanced. Which of eleven categories of questions we should ask (e.g. diagnostic, empathetic, strategic, creative, etc.) when we seek a certain outcome. How to get through to people who don't want to connect -- and build trust and rapport in the process. What it means to maintain intimate distance when questioning someone -- and how it allows us to really listen to what they're trying to tell us. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/651/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it from returning for a full twelve hours per rinse. Visit SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth, scientific analysis of how SmartMouth is able to deliver such incredible results! With Business Platinum from American Express, it's not about where you are, it's about where you want to take your business next. Explore the Power of The Business Platinum Card here! Catch season two of Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath on A&E! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. When something goes wrong in our lives, sometimes we fixate on its emotional impact -- how it makes us feel in the moment -- rather than what difference it will make in the long run (which may be minimal). Tinker Dabble Doodle Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind author Dr. Srini Pillay shows us how to control this emotional feedback with the CIRCA mnemonic. Make sure to check out his entire episode: The Power of the Unfocused Mind, and his other Minisode Monday:  Dabbling: Not Just for Dilettantes! The Cheat Sheet: When something goes wrong in your life, ask yourself: is this important, or just traumatic? We can gauge this by using the CIRCA mnemonic. C: Chunking. Break down the problem into its component parts; solve it over a period of time. I: Ignore mental chatter. Observe your thoughts; don't become your thoughts. R: Reality check. Remind yourself that "this too shall pass." C: Control check. Is the problem something you actually have a hand in, or is it something like weather or politics? A: Attention shift. Move your attention from the problem (the past) to the solution (the future). To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-70-how-to-control-emotional-feedback-with-circa/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, Attack Each Day: The Harbaughs' Podcast, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Here's an example of advertising selling only emotion because the product itself truly lacks value. Best man duties are an honor, but they can be stressful. Here's our advice for handling them with grace and...charm. Learning to run your own business doesn't have to be a sink or swim proposition if you start it as a side hustle to your main job. Do you understand the difference between complicated and complex tasks? Suffer from misophonia? There's a Facebook support group! Some listener perspectives on excusamine (as discussed in FMF 126). Would you choose to make $50,000 when your coworkers make 25,000, or $100,000 when your coworkers make $200,000? How does someone approach dating when they find themselves deviating from social norms in many ways? How long should you give a new job a chance before deciding it's not what you signed up for and move on? Documentary(ish) of the Week: Narcos Shoutouts to fighter pilot Joey Johnson in South Korea and Joey Svendsen of the Bad Christian Podcast! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/fmf131/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With an unmatched selection of audiobooks, original audio shows, news, and comedy, Audible is your best source for summertime entertainment. Art of Charm listeners: start a 30-day trial and download your first audiobook for free by going to audible.com/aoc here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

General Ann Dunwoody (@AnnDunwoody) grew up as an Army brat in a family with four generations of West Pointers, became the first female four-star general in the US, and is the author of A Higher Standard: Leadership Strategies from America's First Female Four-Star General. "Good leaders never stop learning." -General Ann Dunwoody The Cheat Sheet: Why it's important to never walk by a mistake -- unless you want to set a new, lower standard. Why keeping a higher standard is not just personally gratifying, but economically viable. Why good leaders aren't invincible -- and don't try to be. How to leverage advocates and attractors for the benefit of all. What organizations lose by ignoring the power of diversity -- and why it's not just "a PC thing." And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/650/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Talkspace makes it easy to connect with an experienced, licensed therapist who you pick based on your preferences for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy. Click here and use coupon code CHARM to get $30 off your first month! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Catch season two of Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath on A&E! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices