The Leader's Journey Podcast

We know that our lives and our leadership flourish when we practice showing up in emotionally mature ways but we don’t always know what that looks like practically. After thinking together about emotional maturity for more than 20 years, we believe that it looks like practicing being both defined and connected as a way of life. In this podcast, we talk about defining ourselves, letting others define themselves, staying appropriately connected . . . and then we look at the “and” that holds them all together. It’s a little bit like patting your head and rubbing your tummy–trying to do both things at once is a challenge! We think it’s worth it, though. We hope you’ll join us to look at how the concept of being defined and connected shows up in your life and how you can use it as a framework to think through some of your stickiest problems. Subscribe | Rate & Review Conversation overview: Defining ourselves by clearly and courageously saying what is so for us Allowing (and even inviting) others to define themselves Staying appropriately connected and honoring our relationships with others even if they see things differently Connecting by listening rather than convincing Disagreeing without dehumanizing each other Looking at your patterns: Do you give up defining yourself in order to preserve the connection? Do you define yourself but let go of the connection? Examples of practice A visual representation Resources: How did Jesus deal with Conflict? Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!

After talking about each of the 8 core concepts of Bowen Family Systems Theory in previous episodes, we come back together in this episode to ask some final questions about the theory and its usefulness to us as leaders. We wonder about the relationship of the theory to our spirituality. What do we have to learn about faith from this theory? How can we approach our faith and the faith of others with curiosity and objectivity? We also look at common myths about BFST and answer common questions that people have about the theory. We hope that this series will lead you to investigate further and consider BFST as one of the theories that guide your leadership Subscribe | Rate & Review Summary: The relationship between BFST and faith Bowen’s 9th concept - the supernatural Asking questions about our faith - objective and subjective Our own stories about our faith and BFST Addressing common myths about BFST: Bowen theory is uncaring and unrelational Triangles are bad I should get everyone in my life on board with BFST Systems theory is opposed to personal responsibility For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources:  The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen’s own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.  To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!

Leadership issues as close to home as sibling position and as big-picture as societal regression -- Bowen Family Systems Theory has it all. In the 4th episode in this series, we talk about how our birth order powerfully shapes our behavior as leaders as well as the behavior of those we lead. Then we explore how anxiety shows up in our society in ways that we all recognize from today’s headlines and we consider what less-anxious leadership looks like in times of upheaval and uncertainty.  Summary: A theory about how humans actually function Even siblings grow up in a different family How sibling position shapes our behavior and functioning Sibling position in congregations and organizations How society functions like families do Anxiety in society’s attempts at problem-solving Strategies for leaders For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources:  The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen’s own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.  To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman

How did the role you played in your family shape who you became? How does it shape your leadership? How do the people in your organization express the role they learned in their families? We invite you to consider how your family helped you shape the self that you bring to your leadership as well as how these concepts show up in the organization that you lead.  This is the third in a series of conversations about Bowen Family System Theory, a theory that has deeply influenced us and our book The Leader’s Journey.  In this episode, we cover a lot of ground as we look at two of the eight concepts of Bowen theory: the family projection process and the multigenerational transmission process. Summary: Are you flying by the seat of your pants? How testing a unifying theory can integrate your leadership The impact of a family’s anxious focus Our roles shape our functioning and our leadership The magic of connecting across the generations A family diagram – a useful tool for families and organizations Resources The Leader's Journey page Jim’s Facebook page Trisha’s Facebook page Mike’s Facebook page As a guide to doing your own family of origin work, we highly recommend the book Becoming a Healthier Pastor by Ronald Richardson. We also find value in A Family Genogram Workbook by Israel Galindo. For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources:  The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen’s own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.  To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman

Can you see the triangles in your family and your organization? How do you manage yourself in them? What role does distancing and cutoff have in your relationships over time? Can you imagine a different way of showing up in these intense and anxious relationships?  This is the second in a series of conversations about Bowen Family Systems Theory, a theory that has deeply influenced us and our book The Leader’s Journey.  In this episode, we cover a lot of ground as we look at two of the eight concepts of Bowen theory: triangles and cutoff. This sets us up to talk about the rest of the theory in future episodes and to make application to leadership at every level. Summary: Triangles – the basic molecule of human relationships Triangles, anxiety and leadership Taking a healthy position in common triangles Cutoff – managing anxiety with distance Cutoff in families and faith groups What if cutoff seems to be working for us? Imagining change as a path to change Resources For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources:  The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen’s own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.  To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman

What theories do you have about leadership? How do they guide the work you do? Whether we can articulate them or not, we all have assumptions about human behavior and how people change and what good leadership looks like. When we can make them explicit and test them in our experience, we are able to be more thoughtful and intentional about how we lead.  This is the first in a series of conversations about Bowen Family Systems Theory, a theory that has deeply influenced us and our book The Leader’s Journey. You may have heard about triangling or about being a less anxious presence or about being defined and connected without knowing much about the deeper theory that underlies those popular ideas.  In this episode, we cover a lot of ground as we look at two of the eight concepts of Bowen theory: the nuclear family emotional system and differentiation of self. This sets us up to talk about the rest of the theory in future episodes and to make application to leadership at every level. Summary:  Systems thinking Anxiety and togetherness fusions Family relationship patterns Relationship patterns in congregations and organizations  The role of leadership and coaching The differentiation of self scale and levels of functioning Togetherness and autonomy Resources: For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources:  The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen’s own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.  To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman

It seems fitting that Chuck DeGroat’s new book about narcissism and the church would come out in 2020 as we’re all noticing the fault lines in our life together like never before. Chuck (psychologist, professor, pastor) reminds us that this isn’t new; that “we swim in the cultural waters of narcissism” all the time. He helps us to see how narcissism affects us, how misunderstanding it makes it worse and how we can respond to it with both grace and boundaries. We explore how healthy leaders can ask "How do you experience me?" Then listen non-defensively to the honest feedback. We hope you'll listen in. Subscribe | Rate & Review Conversation Overview Leadership principle: What a narcissistic leader looks like Two kinds of narcissism Am I a narcissist? Wounding and gaslighting Systems that support narcissistic leadership Narcissism and the Enneagram Surviving pandemic pressure--are the pastors okay?   More from Chuck: twitter @chuckdegroat https://chuckdegroat.net/ When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse Wholeheartedness: Busyness, Exhaustion, and Healing the Divided Self Falling into Goodness: Lenten Reflections Leaving Egypt: Finding God in the Wilderness Places Toughest People to Love: How to Understand, Lead, and Love the Difficult People in Your Life -- Including Yourself Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!

Being a leader means being an expert, having it all together and getting things done . . . or at least that’s what we sometimes think. Pastor and author Mandy Smith guides us into a way of thinking about leadership that is centered in vulnerability, deep reflection and slow growth. She reminds us that weakness can be a ministry resource and that all ministry begins with a gut-level cry for help to God.  We hope you’ll listen in. Subscribe | Rate & Review Conversation Overview Leadership principle: Where we are going and how we get there are the same thing Weakness as a ministry resource What must we do to be saved? Vulnerability for women and marginalized leaders Slowing down for deep reflection How vulnerable pastors create culture Resources mentioned in this podcast: Pray As You Go Reach Mandy on Twitter @UCCMandy and Instagram @UCCMandy About Mandy: Mandy Smith is the lead pastor of University Christian Church in Cincinnati, Ohio. Her most recent book is The Vulnerable Pastor: How Human Limitations Empower Our Ministry published by IVP. Originally from Australia, she is also the author of several other books, an artist, a writer, a teacher with Fuller Seminary and a regular contributor to Missio Alliance where she directs the SheLeads Summit. Her new book, set to be released in the spring of 2021 is Unfettered: Imagining a Childlike Faith Beyond the Baggage of Western Culture.  Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!

Feeling disoriented these days? Pastor and author Juanita Rasmus helps us to see that all of life is an expression of orientation, dis-orientation and re-orientation. She describes the day that her life “crashed,” eventually opening up new ways of being, ministering and leading. She shows us how to find God and our truest selves when we have nothing else to offer. As a bonus, she shares with us the ultimate question we must all answer. You will love her characteristic energy and wisdom and her practical approach to healthy leadership. We hope you’ll listen in.  Subscribe | Rate & Review Conversation Overview The “Crash” Listening to our bodies or, why prayer isn’t enough How our woundedness draws us to ministry Finding a God of love and grace at rock bottom Exchanging superficiality and ego for deep healing Finding the authentic self in suffering The ultimate question Juanita’s New Book We’re so excited about Juanita’s book: Learning to Be: Finding Your Center After the Bottom Drops Out. Other Resources: Resources mentioned in the podcast: Examen – St. Ignatius of Loyola Renovare St. John’s Church Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!

Everywhere we go, we hear stories from leaders about how a politically charged culture is poisoning relationships, splitting organizations and creating stress far above normal. Yet, our country needs leaders at all levels who can manage themselves in polarization by thinking clearly, acting out of deeply held principles and staying connected to people who see things differently. And that’s a lot easier said than done. In this episode, we discuss attitudes and practices that will help us lead effectively in these challenging times.  Subscribe | Rate & Review Conversation overview: Leaders and organizations are in crisis due to political and emotional polarization  Getting out of the echo chamber  The right to be wrong—staying connected to people who see things differently Differentiation of self in a politically anxious system Moving away from the extremes Practices for self-management in the face of difference Resources: Polarization and the Healthier Church  Disunity in Christ  Crucial Conversations Extraordinary Relationships  Colossian Forum Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!