Navigating Mental Illness: Parents Stories

Mary describes feeling like she lives in a lighthouse, constantly needing to keep the light shining to prevent her daughter from hitting the rocks. This is a powerful analogy for the struggle of parenting a child dealing with addiction. The importance of maintaining faith, praying constantly, and trusting one's instincts as a parent is emphasized. Mary shares how she felt God intervened to prevent her from going to church on a day when her daughter nearly overdosed. Self-care is stressed as crucial, like putting on your own oxygen mask first on an airplane before helping others. Taking care of one's own mental health is key to being able to support a loved one. The value of finding community and realizing you are not alone in your struggles is highlighted. Hearing other people's stories can provide comfort and a sense of connection. Key Takeaways: Maintain hope and faith during the most challenging times Trust your parental intuition - you know your child best Prioritize your own well-being so you can better support your loved one Connect with others who understand your experience Overall, this conversation offers insight, empathy and practical advice for parents navigating the complex reality of having a child struggle with addiction. The show hosts create a safe space for an open and vulnerable discussion.

Tina always loved running. She has done half and full marathons, but with her daughter’s mental illness, she is exhausted and has no energy to start running again. As a child, her daughter scratched a derogatory statement in the kitchen countertop and blamed it on her brother. Fast forward, she has two children out of wedlock, couch surf, has had restraining orders against her and many other challenging behaviors and issues.  Tina is at a turning point in her life. Can she deal with her daughter’s behaviors and not get involved to a point that exhausts her?  This episode is for you if you struggle with setting boundaries and don’t know how to help without just giving up on your child.

Melissa’s hadn’t even babysat prior to having her daughter. When at two she fought going to bed, she thought it was pretty normal. Not until she looked, did she realize it was way more intense. Melissa turned out to be an overachiever in school and was super active outside school, but she always had issues with keeping friends. Her struggles with relationships continued and both her and her daughter were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Now Melissa has spent time away from her daughter and it has really helped her. This episode is for those that have a difficult relationship with their child and would like to live healthier lives.

Sandra and her husband thought they would be empty nesters by now. They have grandchildren, ride bikes, fish, train dogs and support a son with a mental illness. While he has improved his situation, he is still dependent on his parents. Sandra has spent the time trying to udnerstand her son's condition. For example, when he draws a house, he starts with the windows; basically he has trouble seeing the big picture. Learn from Sandra and do your research when you find out your child has a mental illness. Don’t just listen to one doctor, seek more help and services to deal with this complex situation. This episode is particularly helpful to those parents who are reaching the age that they are thinking about the rest of their lives. How will they support their child when they are too old to do it? 

Deb and her son had to wait a 1 1/2 years to see a psychiatrist in the remote area of Canada she lives. That is just one of the challenges she had to face to try and help her son. But as we have heard many times, she has stuck by him even during especially scary times when he was not stable. Like the time he called the paramedics saying she had a heart attack, even though she was fine. All of these challenges have affected her job and her life, but Deb remains very proud of her son and the work he puts into getting better. Be sure to stay tuned until the end for a special update when her son joins her. This episode is for those parents who want to be inspired to keep on loving their child even though it all seems too difficult. 

Rebecca’s son is a handful, to put out mildly. He is smart and did well in school until he started having issues and then the challenges multiplied. She has had to: change schools, have him committed, take over his medical decisions, contact politicians in Mississippi to get him transferred back to Pennsylvania and a whole lot more. Rebecca is also a therapist which goes to show that her journey has been a challenge even for her, someone with training in mental health. Her son is still delusional and has thought he is an archangel and he was committed and ended up in the state hospital.  This a great episode for those who struggle with finding a balance between support and keeping safe. Rebecca has some stories that proves you are not alone! Update: Rebecca told me her son is in a state hospital since April and is not doing that well yet. 

Kate and Scott’s son had many diagnoses starting in the 7th grade including ODD and ADHD, Cognitive Distortion, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression and Anxiety. As engaged parents, they worked hard to find services and worked with the school to advocate for him, but the challenges left them drained. They searched for answers and information on how best to parent their child, a sweet kid, but he was also had his social and emotional challenges.  Throughout their long journey, Scott and Kate felt alone and Kate promised her son and herself she would help other parents navigate the mental health inpatient and outpatient programs. Her son was even severely bullied at his school and Kate and Scott worked to change the school’s response, with little success.  They kept building their skills through work with Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and family focused therapy. Through those programs, Scott and Kate learned to speak and interact differently with not only their son with the mental illness, but their other son and one another. Now Kate can honestly say things are “downright pleasant.” She has also followed up on her promise and started a 501 (c) 3 non-profit.  to help parents like her and her husband to not only get by, but THRIVE. Kate and her co-founder, Jennifer, another Mom who has found better ways to deal with their families’ challenges, started THRIVE Parenting Project in 2023.  You can join them on a Zoom call every Tuesday at 7 pm Central Standard Time. Visit Kate and Jennifer’s website for more information www.thriveparentingproject.com Not slowing down, Kate also was elected to her local school board during COVID, no less. Her goal was to change and improve some of the school district’s policies that made her son’s situation worse rather than helping him. Overall, she’s hoping to make the school district a safer place for all of the current and future students.  If you feel alone and would like to hear how you can change your family’s dynamic, this episode is for you!

Angie’s son is violent and so bad that she has had to have a gun on her nightstand to protect her and the rest of her family. Angie’s son’s violent outbursts started in grade school and so did her journey to understand and treat his illness. By Angie’s own admission her ability to support him is running out. She has bought him and provided insurance for 8 cars, all wrecked.    She knew separation was the only way to keep healthy. She got him a trailer 20 minutes away with all the hookups and hoped that some of his schemes to be successful in a career payed off.   This episode is for those parents that aren’t sure if they can endure anymore. Angie shows that the journey to your own health is sometimes a long one, but it can be done.

Kathy son is 34 years old and living at home. Hospitalized around 15 times and does not do well on his own. However, given her macular degeneration diagnosis, she was determined to take an RV trip, knowing that her son would probably contact her.  She went and he did need her, but he managed to keep safe and she went away. Kathy has done her best to help her son, but she had hoped to have him more independent than he currently is, so she doesn’t have to put him in a facility after she is gone.  As for most parents, it is a work in progress.  This episode is especially helpful to those who have had some time since their child’s diagnosis. Kathy is experiencing facing tough decisions as she ages. Her son and her have limited options. She also provides advice on where to find support as you struggle to help your child.

Rosali’s daughter mental health challenges started at an early age. She was diagnosed with mental illness (high cyclic bipolar and borderline personality disorder) at age 13. After a suicide attempt, Rosali worked to get her counseling help.   In another hurdle for Rosali, Washington State age of consent is 12 for a parent to not receive medical information. So after not taking her meds and continuing to struggle, Rosali did her best to support her child.   After years of this roller coaster ride (including heroine addiction and two children) her son told her that the other siblings needed her too.    That was her rock bottom.    From then on, she separated herself from her daughter’s illness and drug addiction. Rosali was able to keep her marriage from collapsing (they were separated for a year) and maintain distance from her daughter’s destructive cycles.   If you struggling with mental health and suicide attempts of your child, this episode is for you. As Rosalie says, it gets better and you can have a life, even when your child may not ever become healthy.