Plenty with Kate Northrup

The longest chapter I wrote in the first draft of Do Less was the chapter on Asking for Help. It was originally 25,000 words (one third of the contracted total word count) and it ended up becoming both the Receiving Help and Asking for Help chapters. But there’s something super important that I left out of the chapter...because I was today years old when I realized it. Yes, many of us struggle with asking for help because we think we should be able to handle everything ourselves. We struggle because we think we’re the only ones who can do it right. We struggle because we think it’s easier to do it ourselves than show someone else how to do it. We struggle because we feel like we’re inconveniencing others when we ask. But there’s another MAJOR reason that emerged as Mike and I were recording this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show, and it’s critical for us all to realize. This week’s episode about How to Ask for What You Want on Mother’s Day (or Anytime) reveals the critical block preventing so many women from getting what they want. I’ve been studying and thinking about this topic A LOT, and I didn’t even really get it until we recorded this conversation, so I have a feeling it’s going to be new for a lot of our listeners as well. Knowing what the block is may be all you need in order for it to be evaporated. Awareness is always the first step, and sometimes it’s the only step necessary! Listen in to this week’s episode to learn: • The critical block preventing so many women from getting what they want • The 3 simple steps to asking for what you want (and how to make it more likely you’ll get it) • A low-hanging-fruit method for getting more of your needs met immediately without asking anyone for anything • The difference between your needs and your desires and why both are necessary Regardless of your parental status, let this conversation be the starting point for a whole new relationship with what you want. And, if you’re a mother and you live in the USA, let this week leading up to Mother’s Day be your playground to practice a whole new way of being a woman and a mother that makes space for more of you, perhaps ALL of you. Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

When we were in the first year of doing The Kate & Mike Show, I made a list of “Podcast Unicorns” who I dreamed of having on the show. TBH, I never reached out to ask this week’s guest onto the show, but I held her name close to my heart on my dream list, trusting that the time would come and that when it did, I would know. Well, my friend, the time came, she said yes, and I’m SO thrilled to be sharing a conversation with you that meant the world to me and that I hope you’ll find as nourishing as I did. Glennon Doyle, whose new book Untamed is spectacular and has been a #1 NY Times Bestseller for the last 5 weeks, joined Mike and me for a cozy, after-the-kids-were-in-bed conversation where we talked about: • What to do when you feel like you’re going to die because you’re being publicly criticized (on whatever scale) • How to navigate wanting to tell stories about your kids publicly and the line between public and private in the land of the interwebs • The question it’s critical we ask ourselves about people in positions of authority in our lives so that we don’t lose ourselves • How to raise girls who don’t lose themselves (and/or how to help them come back when they do) • Why raising angry girls is a good thing • How to find yourself again when you’ve noticed you’re lost • And so much more! Glennon’s work has been deeply helpful to me at several critical junctures ever since I first read Carry On, Warrior in 2016, and 4 years later I couldn’t be more thrilled to be sharing this conversation with you. Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Life hands us all kinds of hard things. And when we’re going through a hard thing, we have a choice: Run, numb, or stay. Depending on the day, where I am in my cycle, and which way the wind is blowing, I choose differently. Given the intensity of the moment we’re in globally, though, and the number of hard things coming my way lately (I know you’re undoubtedly navigating your own set of hard things and I’m sending you so much love), I’ve been seeing what happens when I stay. Can I stay with myself when I’m crawling out of my skin being with my kids? Can I stay with myself when I’m feeling sensations during an intense workout? Can I stay with myself when Mike and I are in conflict about something going on within our business? Can I stay with myself when I desperately want an answer to unanswerable questions? Can I stay with myself? Staying with ourselves is not easy, and most of us were never taught how to do it. We have a million and three ways to numb or run...but developing a new neural pathway to support staying and mining the gold in the intensity is new for most of us. This week on the podcast, we’re talking about staying with ourselves when we want to numb or run. In the episode we share: • Our favorite numbing strategies and what we’re noticing about them right now during the pandemic (anyone else finding themselves staring into the snack cabinet at night hoping that something in there will fix your problems?) • About the time last week when it felt like my soul had broken out in hives and what I did about it • What birth taught us about staying • The critical difference between a feeling and a sensation and how one can set you free • The opportunity in staying that we lose when we numb or run There’s also a lot of hilarity in this episode because...well...we’re in quarantine and we have the sillies. Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

I’m writing this to you as my girls sit on the kitchen floor painting giant pieces of paper that I traced their bodies on. It’s risky, but you and your business’s (and psyche’s) ability to thrive during this time are worth all the paint I’m going to be cleaning off the floor and my babies after. Last week I found myself curious about what some of my friends who I admire in business are thinking about this unusual moment we’re in, and what they’re sharing with their communities. So, I asked them. And then I decided I’d share their answers with you because what’s mine is yours. We’ve never done anything like this before on the podcast, and we’re super excited to share the wisdom of the following incredible friends/business experts with you: • Patrice Washington, bestselling author of Real Money Answers for Every Woman and host of the Redefining Wealth Podcast • Rachel Rodgers, Esq., IP lawyer, founder of the Hello Seven Podcast and We Should All Be Millionaires: The Club • Gina Gomez, Business Strategist and Advisor aka “the Olivia Pope of the personal development industry” • Amy Porterfield, host of the top podcast Online Marketing Made Easy and creator of Digital Course Academy • James Wedmore, host of the Mind Your Business podcast and creator of Business By Design • Rha Goddess, bestselling author of The Calling, Entrepreneurial Soul Couch, and founder and CEO of Move The Crowd In this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show, you’ll hear them all answer this simple question: How are you thinking about this moment as a small business owner and what are you sharing with your community? Their answers are as diverse as their backgrounds, and in this episode you’ll learn: • The biggest opportunity to focus on right now for small businesses • The 3 areas you need to consider when making a timely pivot • 3 simple steps to navigating this moment of change to make sure your business stays solid • 2 stories of thriving businesses birthed in the 2008 recession (one of which rose from the ashes of a 7-figure business that was lost) • The paramount question to ask about your business to ensure sustainability • 4 Vital Practices to engage in to ensure you’re getting the message and gift this moment has for you specifically Listening to the wisdom that these 6 humans shared in their messages was salve to my soul. May it be the medicine you need right now, too. After you’ve listened, we’d love to know: Which piece of wisdom resonated with you the most? How are you going to implement it? Leave a comment and let us know. Being in conversation with you during this time (and always) is such a gift. I’m sending you tons of love and lots of strength for navigating this moment in your business and your life with grace, compassion, and power. Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Over here at HQ (aka our house), we’ve got a 4 ½-year-old and an almost-2-year-old and a company to run. Plus many of our team members are in the same boat at their houses. There are so many different permutations of how this moment of quarantine is affecting different households, but for those of you who find yourself with the literally impossible task of working full-time while parenting full-time and also possibly guiding homeschooling, this message is for you. (This will also be particularly useful for folks caregiving in any capacity, even if it’s not for kids.) First of all, I will say that I am by no means the world’s leading expert on working from home while parenting. No one should be. This is for the birds. Second, though, I am obsessed with the logistics of time and how our rhythms can either support or deflate our wellbeing and impact. So, when a bunch of folks in our community reached out asking how Mike and I are navigating the fact that we both work and we have no childcare right now, I figured we’d share what we’re doing behind the scenes. You can count on me for one thing always: transparency. I’ll tell you when I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’ll tell you what’s working. That’s my promise. In this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show we share: • The daily conversation we’re having that makes a world of difference in the logistics of working and parenting together during this weird moment • A critical ingredient that any ask for support needs to have during this time (and really anytime) • Mike’s excellent wisdom for those of us who are going a little nuts with no breaks from our children (🙋) Press play if you’re trying to work from home without childcare too. At the very least you’ll know you’re not alone. ;) Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

So, I’m usually someone who recommends not sharing what you’re going through publicly while smack-dab in the middle of going through it. Mostly this is because I think sharing from the messy middle is unearned intimacy and secondly because I’m someone who likes to be useful and usually I don’t have a helpful perspective to share until after a little time has passed. However, this week I went against my own advice. As a recovering achiever, I don’t love the feeling of being out of control and not having my sh*t together. And while vulnerability and I have continued to make better friends over the years, feeling lost in the murk in public feels deeply uncomfortable. But at the end of last week, we recorded our podcast right when I was in the murk of feeling lost and like there was a lot of pressure for me, as someone with a platform, to say the right thing or know how to guide people. In many ways in that moment, I felt out of my depth. When we finished recording, I had a major vulnerability hangover because I didn’t feel like I’d presented the “with it” version of myself that I prefer to be out in the world. But there it was. And Mike assured me that admitting on our podcast that I have no idea WTF is going on would be useful to folks. So, if you want to listen in on a conversation that made me super uncomfortable and witness me in the messy middle, this week’s episode is for you. Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

No matter what’s going on in your corner of the world, I want you to know that I’m sending you love. No matter how this global situation has affected you and your family, I want you to know that I’m thinking of you and our entire community. Mike and I are committed to showing up in a way that contributes to this being a healing experience for all of us. So, we recorded a new episode of The Kate & Mike Show for you where we shared: • How we’re navigating self-isolation (including some missteps and how we’re learning from them) • 5 specific tips for tending to your nervous system during this time so you can signal your body to rest, restore, and heal instead of activate fight, flight, or freeze • 6 steps to take stock of what’s happening and pivot your business in an effective, helpful way • Why giving away all of your stuff for free may or may not be the best thing to do right now as a business owner • The way we’re staying informed without freaking out • One perspective on this unprecedented time that’s bringing us a lot of peace and solace If you need some healing thoughts during this uncertain time, this episode is for you. This is weird. We’re here for you. Take really good care of yourself and each other. Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Over here in my little corner of the world in Maine, things are kind of weird and weirdly quiet. I know that’s not the case everywhere in the world, and however this odd global moment is affecting you, please know that I’m thinking of you and sending love, healing, and prayers your way. We’d already planned for March to be an exhale month, so it turns out the slowdown is in sync for the most part. Our kiddos are home with us for a minimum of 2 weeks, so Mike and I are doing a bee-bop of parenting, "homeschool Pre-K" (which basically means circle time and coloring), and running our business. I’m changing my expectations across the board, and while I wish this moment had been precipitated by different circumstances, I’m welcoming the mandate to do less. At times like this I really think it’s important for us as business owners to check in on whether our messaging is appropriate for the global temperature. We’ve gotta check in and see if what we’re promoting is relevant and helpful given the moment (while not trying to please everyone, which is ultimately impossible). The big thing we have coming up is the newly revised paperback release of Do Less with a brand-new subtitle, new stories, new data, and some reworking so that it’s now geared toward "ambitious women" instead of "busy moms." In celebration of the revised paperback edition, I’m hosting a free, virtual Do Less Book Club starting the week of April 6th for anyone who pre-orders the new edition. When I checked in with our team and myself as to whether or not it feels appropriate to move forward with our plans given the developing global health situation, I decided it does. Lots of us are home unexpectedly with kids. Lots of us are trying to work and care for loved ones simultaneously and navigating new challenges around managing our time and energy. Lots of us are in a situation where we need to continue to earn money while doing less. Turns out, I wrote a book about how to do that, and I revised it to make it even better. This week on The Kate & Mike Show we’re talking about: • Why I decided to revise Do Less less than 6 months after its release despite people being thrilled with the first version • How to navigate times when marketing wisdom doesn’t exactly align with your inner knowing • Niching down versus broadening out • How to identify your creative process and own it for peak output and joy • What the Do Less Virtual Book Club is going to be all about and how to get in on it During this bizarre time I’m taking the opportunity to simplify, be super present with the people I love the most, serve my existing customers in an even deeper way, tend to my nervous system, and savor the space. I hope you join me in whichever of those sounds useful to you. Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Whether you’re new here or have been hanging out with me for a while, it’s important to know that I don’t see any parts of our lives as separate. That’s why the conversation about balance rubs me the wrong way, as though we’re trying to create equal space for different parts of our lives rather than learn how to be fully ourselves in an integrated way-- whether we’re working or playing or doing both at the same time (my favorite). When it comes to the health of your body and the health of your business, I feel like they’re the same conversation in many ways. But so often we allow our business goals to overshadow our physical health, and instead of supporting our goals, like we assume, letting our bodies take the back seat jeopardizes our health as well as our businesses. That’s why I’m excited to share this week’s podcast with you. It’s with Elizabeth Rider who’s been a friend of ours for over 14 years. In many ways, we grew up in business together. Elizabeth is in the business of health, and we dove into the ways we can increase our wellbeing physically and financially through our businesses. Listen in to this week’s episode of the Kate & Mike Show with Elizabeth to learn: • How to ramp up your blog traffic without focusing on keywords (whaaa?) • How to make the most important aspects of your health a habit so you don’t have to waste time and energy trying to make yourself do them • Why "boundaries" is Elizabeth’s favorite word and how she uses boundaries to have thriving physical and financial health Be sure to check out Elizabeth’s book, The Health Habit: 7 Easy Steps to Reach Your Goals and Dramatically Improve Your Life, for practical, non-dogmatic health tips and gorgeous, simple recipes that even someone like me who struggles in the kitchen can make. And, as always, remember: Body first. Business second. When you do it in that order, both things get the care and attention they need. Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Two weeks ago I did something I swore I’d never do: I started talking publicly about informed consent, body autonomy, and medical freedom as it relates to immunizations. This message is not about immunizations, though. This message is about navigating speaking up about something controversial, particularly when it appears that you’re on the less popular side. I knew speaking up would mean I would lose followers. I knew speaking up would likely mean we’d lose sales. I did not know that speaking up would wreak such havoc on my nervous system, however. I did not know that 24 hours after my post went live I would want to take it back and crawl in a hole for the rest of my life. And I did not know that on the other side of the initial fallout I would feel stronger, more informed, and more myself than I’d ever felt before. I also had no idea that taking a public stand about something so polarizing would bring gifts beyond my wildest imaginings. This week on the podcast we’re sharing about the journey of speaking out about something we believe in at the risk of losing followers, money, and cache. Listen in to find out: • Why all of the risks of speaking out have been so worth it • How to think for ourselves while swimming in a cultural soup that wants us to do anything but that • How to signal safety in your nervous system so that you can keep standing up for what you believe in • The wild thing that happened on social media from my standing up that I didn’t expect Once you’ve listened in I would love to hear from you. Have you ever spoken out about something you believed in that was unpopular or controversial? What were the risks? What were the rewards? How did you navigate any potential fall-out? Leave a comment and let me know! Know this: If you feel like you can’t talk about something, especially when it questions the mainstream, it’s because someone is benefitting from your fear and silence. But they can’t benefit anymore when you speak up. And the more who speak up, the stronger our voices become. No matter what your stand is, even if I don’t agree, know that I support your right to say something about it and that I’m cheering you on for saying something even if you’re scared. Especially then. You can get your own copy of Do Less and still receive incredible bonuses at http://katenorthrup.com/book! Kate wants to hear from you, and you can post about your #DoLess experiences on Instagram, DM her (@katenorthrup) or email info@katenorthrup.com. Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.