Plenty with Kate Northrup

Last night I sat on my couch, cheeks still wet from tears, soaked in the bittersweet moment of feeling sad that I was closing the cover of a book I’d just finished and that I was deeply moved by. I both wanted there to be more to read and also felt so totally satisfied and changed by the experience of taking it in. We’re 3 months away from the 2020 United States Presidential Election. An election in the midst of a pandemic and racial justice awakening is an even bigger deal than your average election. And so, here we are, entering a season of even more intensity. Why am I talking about the election? Because the book I finished last night is the manual for how we can come together as humans to heal in what is the most divisive time I’ve ever lived through (though I know that historically there have been more divisive times). 4 years ago, just before the presidential election of 2016, I sat in a huge auditorium in Brooklyn holding a dear friend’s hand and weeping as we listened to the author of this book offer her son’s birth story as a metaphor for the intense time we were navigating then. She asked, “What if this darkness is not the darkness of the tomb, but the darkness of the womb? What if America is not dead, but a country that is waiting to be born?” We passed tissues up and down the aisle to people we didn’t know, yet who were not strangers. Valarie Kaur’s practice of Revolutionary Love is the blueprint we need to heal as a nation and as a world. As hate crimes, xenophobia, white nationalism, and other symptoms of fear increase, now more than ever we need a new roadmap...one guided not only by love but also by the body and joy. This week we’re sharing a new episode of The Kate & Mike Show, featuring activist, scholar, and bestselling author Valarie Kaur, and in it you’ll hear: • Why wonder is the path to true healing • What Valarie experienced at Guantanamo Bay and how it changed her • How to know when to breathe and when to push in the labor of revolutionary love • The freedom in forgiveness and how to do it even when it feels like you can’t • How to love your opponent (including how to know when it’s safe to do so and when it’s time to allow someone else to do it for you) • How to know what your role is in the transition of our country and world This was one of the most stirring conversations we’ve ever had on the podcast. Listen in, get your tissues, and prepare to pick your chin up off the floor. As we enter this pre-election season, may we all learn to practice Revolutionary Love so we can breathe, push, and birth a new world for us all. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

If you’re new here, there’s something you need to know about me and this space: I’m obsessed with the body and I talk about it a lot. I love to learn about how our bodies work and how they relate literally and metaphorically to everything, specifically our emotional lives and productivity. If you’ve been around for a while, you already knew that. So many important conversations are missing a MAJORLY important piece of the puzzle: We all live in bodies, and they impact everything in our entire lives. One important conversation that often completely skips the topic of bodies (ironically, because it’s inherently about the mistreatment of bodies) is the conversation about racism. When I heard the woman I’m about to introduce speak for the first time, my body felt different than it had ever felt before during conversations about race. My body knew the potential for healing immediately because she was one of the first people I’d ever heard talk about race and racism in the context of how it impacts our bodies and why healing racial trauma needs to start with the body, not exclusively our minds. As a facilitator, author, and speaker, Milagros Phillips has been doing racial healing work for over two decades. When she came to speak in Origin last month, I got several messages from members after to the affect of: I’m in a puddle on the floor integrating the beauty that just transpired at the hands of Milagros. WOW. Several members asked if she was taking applications for niece adoptions because we all want her to be our auntie. Her work is powerful. Her heart is huge. She’s hilarious. And brilliant. If you’re ready to heal racial trauma in your body, be it black, white, or brown, so that you can affect healing in the world, this conversation is for you. Listening to Milagros will change you in the most beautiful way. I can’t wait to hear how this one moves you (and your body). Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Reflect on your objectives as the year progresses, embracing the importance of mid-year planning amidst uncertainty. Explore personal stories and actionable strategies that foster adaptability in changing times. Delve into how environmental factors impact well-being and the significance of self-acceptance. Learn to prioritize key goals to enhance productivity and fulfillment. Discover the transformative power of reflective practices to nurture personal growth and relationships, ensuring a proactive approach to living fully in the present.

So much of the information we take in as humans is based on this idea that when we do or get x, y, or z, we’ll finally feel better and then we won’t have to feel discomfort anymore. We’ve been told that the whole point of being human is to find ways to either feel less or feel better. But what if that were not the point? What if trying to feel a different way than you feel and popping out when you feel a way you don’t like to feel is thwarting your efforts in business, marriage, parenting, and more? What if we’re making it harder than it needs to be? If there’s nothing else this pandemic has taught us, it’s that we don’t know what’s going on and that so much is out of our control. There’s a gift nestled in all of the confusion and angst, should we choose to open it. It’s an invitation to a deeper experience of being human, which offers a deeper experience of everything that being human includes. (Daunting? Yes. Awesome? For sure.) The most impactful thing that Mike and I have been practicing to allow us to unwrap this gift is expanding our capacity to be uncomfortable. The pandemic is uncomfortable (in a variety of ways, depending on who you are). Talking about race is uncomfortable for many. Not being able to plan past the next week, not knowing if kids are going back to school, or if you can go visit your grandmother, or if you can fly over a border to attend a gathering you’ve been looking forward to for more than 12 months is all uncomfortable. We’ve been sold the idea that the whole point is to learn how to avoid or get rid of discomfort as fast as possible (mainly by companies trying to profit off the promise of relief). But, at least in my life, the greater capacity I build for feeling what I’m feeling (whatever it is), the more meaningful everything becomes. This week on the podcast, we’re giving you 3 specific tips to expand your capacity to be with discomfort. If you find yourself crawling out of your skin from time to time or minute to minute, you’re going to want to listen in. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast .

There’s a pattern so many of us have been indoctrinated into that’s depleting our bodies, our relationships, our planet, our innovation, and even our productivity. What makes it so insidious is that we’re celebrated for it, and many of us spend our whole lives in a reward loop that affirms a behavior that’s not doing us any favors. The addiction? Work. Alcohol addiction, drug addiction, sex addiction, shopping addiction, gambling addiction, and more are recognized as problematic behaviors for which treatment and healing can and should be sought. Overwork, however? We just throw each other a parade for that. Today on the podcast Mike and I are talking about our collective obsession with work and how it’s killing us on multiple levels. If you suspect that your addiction to work is holding you back in more ways than one, you’re gonna want to listen in. This episode is likely going to get under your skin in a way that’s simultaneously uncomfortable and necessary. And just in case you think we’re being righteous on our “we’ve already figured this thing out” high horses, we’re not. We share our recent foibles with slipping back into overwork and how we tend to those old patterns on a daily basis so that they don’t get the better of our souls. Can’t wait to hear how this one lands with you. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

There are people called to do the work of pulling people out of the river when they’re drowning. We need these people, and I’m so grateful for them. There are also people called to do the work of going upstream to figure out why they’re falling in in the first place and seeing if something can be done to prevent that. We really need these people too, and I’m extraordinarily grateful for them as well. I recently met one of these people, and his mission is as deeply inspiring as it is practical. (The Maine girl in me loves the practical.) Anu Gupta asked the bold question: Can we live in a world where people—regardless of their identities—feel like they belong everywhere? His answer came in the form of adapting cutting-edge scientific evidence to design a science-backed, compassion-based way for people to break bias, racial or otherwise. Anu realized that at the root of the institutionalized and systemic issues that hold people of different identities back is bias. And he knew that if he could figure out a way for people to break that bias, he could make a huge dent in creating a world where everyone feels like they belong everywhere. Listen in to this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show to hear: • How bias is formed in the brain and why it’s critical that we learn to break it • How Anu’s own journey of battling other people’s assumptions and judgments about him informed the creation of his company • How he overcame being suicidal and turned toward hope and transformation • How stepping more into the spotlight has been critical for his company’s impact (as well as his own personal growth) • What the PRISM framework is and how you can use it to break your bias in a measurable way within 6-8 weeks of regular practice • How breaking bias can become a spiritual experience You’ll also hear a particularly human and hilarious moment during the episode where we got to meet Anu’s family! Press play and listen. Anu’s work around breaking bias is a HUGE part of the solution that we need right now. I’m so excited to be able to share his message (and heart) with you today. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been posting on social media primarily about anti-racism and the collective opportunity we have right now to step into racial healing and liberation. I rarely check my own Instagram stats, but I decided to take a look and found that for the first time in months, I’m losing more followers than I’m gaining each week. These two things coinciding with one another is not just a coincidence. I don’t know why each person is specifically unfollowing (and on a personal level, though it makes me sad for them and the world, I’m good with weeding out the folks who don’t want to be part of the conversation. They’re obviously not my people...at least not right now). However, what I do know is that talking about race is uncomfortable. That’s why people don’t want to do it. That’s why my family didn’t talk about it growing up. That’s why my school didn’t talk about it much. Yet, just like with anything uncomfortable, if we avoid it, it festers. Ignoring discomfort does nothing to relieve the discomfort. It simply ensures it will come out in some other, likely much worse way later. Mike and I have been on a journey of doing anti-racism work internally, within our company, and within our communities for several years, and as more and more people wake up to how necessary this conversation and work is, we thought we’d talk about it on the podcast. Disclaimer: We are in no way anti-racism teachers or experts. We are simply two people talking about what we’re doing, what we’re thinking about, who we’re learning from, what it’s been like, and how we’re navigating this work. Listen in to this week’s fresh-off-the-digital-recording-device episode to find out: • What the natural world and our bodies have to teach us about diversity and healing (yep, biomimicry applies to everything!) • The life-changing encounter I had that shifted my relationship with my privilege, especially as it relates to shame and guilt • How doing the work feels now as opposed to several years ago when we were just getting started • How we’re ensuring that our anti-racism work is sustainable, so we can show up for the long haul (i.e., forever) • Who we’re loving learning from • How to access the hope and healing available for all of us right now Press play and listen in, especially if you’d rather not. I love you. Thanks for being here with us. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Explore the challenges of planning in unpredictable times and the emotional toll of uncertainty. Discover how to embrace change and create personal comfort in chaotic environments. Learn about a unique planner designed for flexibility, prioritizing mindfulness and aligning with natural cycles. The discussion goes deeper into surrendering control, navigating personal health, and finding balance between structure and creativity. Anecdotes from sobriety and parenthood highlight resilience and growth, making it a conversation that inspires adaptive planning.

When I checked in with myself and listened to our community and the pulse of the world right now, what felt right this week was not to publish a new podcast episode, but to point your attention to one of our favorites from the past that features a black woman whose work is devoted to black liberation. In the summer of 2018 I savored every word of Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds by Adrienne Maree Brown. (She’s since published Pleasure Activism, which became a NY Times bestseller and is also incredibly powerful.) Adrienne dances the intersection between spirituality and social justice work in a way that feels really necessary right now. If you’ve noticed spiritual leaders (especially white ones) jumping directly to unity and oneness without first acknowledging the 400 years of oppression that needs repair, and it doesn’t sit well with you, listen in. If you’re feeling immobilized by the reality of the profound limitations of society and our history around race and what it means for you and your people, and you’re grappling with how it could possibly be at all connected to spirituality, listen in. Adrienne’s words, laughter, and ideas are medicine. In this episode that first came out January 1, 2019, but is no less relevant today, you’ll hear: • How Adrienne practices time bending (and how feeling good is part of it) • How she finally answered her calling to be a Doula despite being freaked out by blood • Who she writes for (and who she does not) • How to organize your life around the “YES!” • How to join your spirituality and social justice work together • How to know when to coast and why working hard all the time isn’t the way to go • And so much more! Press play and listen to her brilliance (and prepare to laugh!) Thank you for being here in this community. Over the last week it’s become ever more clear to me that not all communities are places where people feel safe to be themselves and, even more so, affirmed for all of who they are. While I will never get it perfect and I will continue to be humble and ready to fumble (quoting Erika Hines), you have my commitment that you matter to me and you are welcome here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to show up. I’ll continue to do the same. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

The world is heavy right now with the increased awareness of violence and injustice against black people that's been going on for over 400 years here in the United States. To the black people in our community, you are in my heart and prayers but most importantly, my actions. As one of my favorite writers and teachers, Adrienne Maree Brown, said: "Things are not getting worse, they're getting uncovered." I also shared the following words from writer, producer, and performer Sarah Jones on Instagram the other day: Rather than sharing a new episode of The Kate & Mike Show as we’d originally planned this week, we’re talking about anti-racism, healing, and liberation. There’s no other conversation I can imagine having right now. This week I’m directing your attention to a conversation we had two years ago almost to the day with Rachel Cargle, activist, public academic, writer, and lecturer. If you’re new to anti-racism and liberation work, welcome. Listening to Rachel is a great place to start. If you’ve been actively engaged with this work for a long time now, I’m glad you’re here. This episode is for you, too. In this conversation about Unpacking White Feminism you’ll learn: • What’s particularly important for white women to know when it comes to showing up for the movement toward racial healing and liberation • Why it’s so important to take your anti-racism work offline into your real life relationships as soon as possible and as often as possible (and how to do that) • Where capitalism started and how to navigate entrepreneurship in that context • An incredibly important yet often overlooked consideration we need to make when we’re researching who to vote for • How to find out if your child’s school is racist • And so much more Please note that this conversation was recorded 2 years ago and while the salient points are just as relevant today, some of the details about Rachel and our lives have changed. If we were to have recorded this conversation today I would have asked things differently and not said certain things, but we’re sharing anyway because perfectionism and being afraid of messing up can be a bastion of white supremacy that can silence us and can perpetuate violence in some cases.  Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.