Heavy Bored

The final part of the Twilight Saga has Sophie becoming pro child brides while Andrew mansplains vampire pregnancy. Both become pro-life and consider converting to the Mormon faith. All while speculating about vampire erections–size, girth, temperature, texture. Topics include Book vs Movie, the structure of romance, bad endings, vampire sex, CGI babies, and more. *LINKS* Watch the Movie: https://amzn.to/3JhNpHU*Buy the Books* Twilight by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/45UztMINew Moon by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/4lwHxYGEclipse by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/3JkxIQbBreaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/4oFLflvMore Books by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/3UwMjKEJoin Patreon or Substack to get FULL access to Heavy Bored!Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored Substack: https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Sign up for Andrew’s Newsletter for FREE! https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Contact us: heavyboredpodcast@gmail.comLeave a 5-Star Review on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heavy-bored/id1617156706Follow Us!Twitter: @heavyboredpod https://x.com/HeavyBoredPod@AndrewWittstadt https://x.com/AndrewWittstadtInstagram:@heavybored https://www.instagram.com/heavybored/TikTok:@heavyboredpodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@heavyboredpodcastYouTube:@heavybored https://www.youtube.com/@heavybored@heavyboredclips https://www.youtube.com/@heavyboredclips*when available, we use affiliate links*

Part 3 of the continuing Twilight Saga kicks off with Andrew wanting it to be over because he’s a man, while Sophie is seduced by some hot, wet talking. Both become sympathetic to rigorous Mormon-style abstinence-only sex education while reading about sexual assault from werewolves and vampires. Topics include emo culture, high school, men vs women, why scholarship is in the toilet, and more.*LINKS* Watch the Movie: https://amzn.to/3UxdHZa*Buy the Books* Twilight by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/45UztMINew Moon by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/4lwHxYGEclipse by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/3JkxIQbBreaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/4oFLflvMore Books by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/3UwMjKEJoin Patreon or Substack to get FULL access to Heavy Bored!Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored Substack: https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Sign up for Andrew’s Newsletter for FREE! https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Contact us: heavyboredpodcast@gmail.comLeave a 5-Star Review on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heavy-bored/id1617156706Follow Us!Twitter: @heavyboredpod https://x.com/HeavyBoredPod@AndrewWittstadt https://x.com/AndrewWittstadtInstagram:@heavybored https://www.instagram.com/heavybored/TikTok:@heavyboredpodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@heavyboredpodcastYouTube:@heavybored https://www.youtube.com/@heavybored@heavyboredclips https://www.youtube.com/@heavyboredclips*when available, we use affiliate links*

Andrew and Sophie get a bad case of Twilight Fever while being nostalgic for the emo era in Part 2 of the continuing Twilight Saga. Sophie gets in touch with her Mormon side while Andrew becomes homoerotically fixated on Taylor Lautner’s physique. Topics include the emo era, performative self-harm, Romeo and Juliet, the problems with film adaptations, Pauline Kael’s theories on “Trash Art” and why they’re correct, and more.*LINKS* Watch the Movie: https://amzn.to/4mEtu4i*Buy the Books* Twilight by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/45UztMINew Moon by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/4lwHxYGEclipse by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/3JkxIQbBreaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/4oFLflvMore Books by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/3UwMjKEJoin Patreon or Substack to get FULL access to Heavy Bored!Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored Substack: https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Sign up for Andrew’s Newsletter for FREE! https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Contact us: heavyboredpodcast@gmail.comLeave a 5-Star Review on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heavy-bored/id1617156706Follow Us!Twitter: @heavyboredpod https://x.com/HeavyBoredPod@AndrewWittstadt https://x.com/AndrewWittstadtInstagram:@heavybored https://www.instagram.com/heavybored/TikTok:@heavyboredpodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@heavyboredpodcastYouTube:@heavybored https://www.youtube.com/@heavybored@heavyboredclips https://www.youtube.com/@heavyboredclips*when available, we use affiliate links*

The Twilight Saga gets the Heavy Bored treatment Part 1. We go through the first novel in the series while discussing why pop fiction sells more copies, book vs movie, the issues with young adult genre books, and what makes a romance book a romance book?*LINKS* Watch the Movie: https://amzn.to/4mQz7MV*Buy the Books* Twilight by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/45UztMINew Moon by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/4lwHxYGEclipse by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/3JkxIQbBreaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/4oFLflvMore Books by Stephenie Meyer: https://amzn.to/3UwMjKEJoin Patreon or Substack to get FULL access to Heavy Bored!Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored Substack: https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Sign up for Andrew’s Newsletter for FREE! https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Contact us: heavyboredpodcast@gmail.comLeave a 5-Star Review on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heavy-bored/id1617156706Follow Us!Twitter: @heavyboredpod https://x.com/HeavyBoredPod@AndrewWittstadt https://x.com/AndrewWittstadtInstagram:@heavybored https://www.instagram.com/heavybored/TikTok:@heavyboredpodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@heavyboredpodcastYouTube:@heavybored https://www.youtube.com/@heavybored@heavyboredclips https://www.youtube.com/@heavyboredclips*when available, we use affiliate links*

Merwin’s long career is discussed along with his fuckability, his tendency to be vague, line breaks, overpraising famous writers' more mediocre works and the existential questions–what is the point in composing a poem or harsh literary criticism? *LINKS* *Buy the Books*The Essential W.S. Merwin: https://amzn.to/45okkDaSummer Doorways: A Memoir by W. S. Merwin: https://amzn.to/4oDUTVRMore Books by W. S. Merwin: https://amzn.to/4oDUUsTJoin Patreon or Substack to get FULL access to Heavy Bored!Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored Substack: https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Sign up for Andrew’s Newsletter for FREE! https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Contact us: heavyboredpodcast@gmail.comLeave a 5-Star Review on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heavy-bored/id1617156706Follow Us!Twitter: @heavyboredpod https://x.com/HeavyBoredPod@AndrewWittstadt https://x.com/AndrewWittstadtInstagram:@heavybored https://www.instagram.com/heavybored/TikTok:@heavyboredpodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@heavyboredpodcastYouTube:@heavybored https://www.youtube.com/@heavybored@heavyboredclips https://www.youtube.com/@heavyboredclips*when available, we use affiliate links*

The famous novel about the great depression in New York and the infamous character Gloria Wanderous is discussed while going into what a reputation does for a book, the dramatic devices at work in the text, and the praising of books leading to them being overblown. This is a free preview of an episode for subscribers only. Join Patreon to get FULL access to Heavy Bored! https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored *LINKS* *Buy the Books* BUtterfield 8 by John O’Hara (Library of America edition): https://amzn.to/4fJ5D12BUtterfield 8 by John O’Hara (Vintage edition): https://amzn.to/45jEiz0Ten North Frederick by John O’Hara: https://amzn.to/45p0DeEMore Books by John O’Hara: https://amzn.to/3HyqU0PJoin Patreon or Substack to get FULL access to Heavy Bored!Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored Substack: https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Sign up for Andrew’s Newsletter for FREE! https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Contact us: heavyboredpodcast@gmail.comLeave a 5-Star Review on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heavy-bored/id1617156706Follow Us!Twitter: @heavyboredpod https://x.com/HeavyBoredPod@AndrewWittstadt https://x.com/AndrewWittstadtInstagram:@heavybored https://www.instagram.com/heavybored/TikTok:@heavyboredpodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@heavyboredpodcastYouTube:@heavybored https://www.youtube.com/@heavybored@heavyboredclips https://www.youtube.com/@heavyboredclips*when available, we use affiliate links*

Sophie and Andrew get terribly bored reading this classic American masterpiece. Topics include transcendentalism, free verse, the limits of the line and page, Whitman and his impact, and more!*LINKS**Buy the Books* Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman (1855 edition): https://amzn.to/4fG9yM8Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman (Deathbed edition): https://amzn.to/3HdGCyoMore Books of Walt Whitman: https://amzn.to/45EuBKvJoin Patreon or Substack to get FULL access to Heavy Bored!Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored Substack: https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Sign up for Andrew’s Newsletter for FREE! https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Contact us: heavyboredpodcast@gmail.comLeave a 5-Star Review on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heavy-bored/id1617156706Follow Us!Twitter: @heavyboredpod https://x.com/HeavyBoredPod@AndrewWittstadt https://x.com/AndrewWittstadtInstagram:@heavybored https://www.instagram.com/heavybored/TikTok:@heavyboredpodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@heavyboredpodcastYouTube:@heavybored https://www.youtube.com/@heavybored@heavyboredclips https://www.youtube.com/@heavyboredclips*when available, we use affiliate links*

The iconic autobiographical novel is discussed with its many vivid depictions of pimp life in the early 20th century and its raw descriptions of sex, drugs, and jail. This is a free preview of an episode for subscribers only. Join Patreon to get FULL access to Heavy Bored! https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored *LINKS* *Buy the Books*Pimp by Iceberg Slim: https://amzn.to/45yCcKoTrick Baby by Iceberg Slim: https://amzn.to/45DvCSOLong White Con by Iceberg Slim: https://amzn.to/3HpiN6JMore Books by Iceberg Slim: https://amzn.to/45zHN38Join Patreon or Substack to get FULL access to Heavy Bored!Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored Substack: https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Sign up for Andrew’s Newsletter for FREE! https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Contact us: heavyboredpodcast@gmail.comLeave a 5-Star Review on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heavy-bored/id1617156706Follow Us!Twitter: @heavyboredpod https://x.com/HeavyBoredPod@AndrewWittstadt https://x.com/AndrewWittstadtInstagram:@heavybored https://www.instagram.com/heavybored/TikTok:@heavyboredpodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@heavyboredpodcastYouTube:@heavybored https://www.youtube.com/@heavybored@heavyboredclips https://www.youtube.com/@heavyboredclips*when available, we use affiliate links*

A long and winding breakdown of Lerner’s personal essay and reflection on the craft of poetry. Strap in for this one, as we go over every bit of space in this essay and tell you why it’s wrong. This is a free preview of an episode for subscribers only. Join Patreon to get FULL access to Heavy Bored! https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored *LINKS**Buy the Books* The Hatred of Poetry by Ben Lerner: https://amzn.to/45zHPYOThe Topeka School by Ben Lerner: https://amzn.to/475ztuxLeaving the Atocha Station by Ben Lerner: https://amzn.to/45Ct4Vg10:04 by Ben Lerner: https://amzn.to/45xJlKVMore Books by Ben Lerner: https://amzn.to/47EisYi“Lerner and His Firefly” by Mark Halliday: https://pleiadesmag.com/sneak-preview-mark-halliday-on-ben-lerners-the-hatred-of-poetry/Join Patreon or Substack to get FULL access to Heavy Bored!Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored Substack: https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Sign up for Andrew’s Newsletter for FREE! https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Contact us: heavyboredpodcast@gmail.comLeave a 5-Star Review on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heavy-bored/id1617156706Follow Us!Twitter: @heavyboredpod https://x.com/HeavyBoredPod@AndrewWittstadt https://x.com/AndrewWittstadtInstagram:@heavybored https://www.instagram.com/heavybored/TikTok:@heavyboredpodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@heavyboredpodcastYouTube:@heavybored https://www.youtube.com/@heavybored@heavyboredclips https://www.youtube.com/@heavyboredclips*when available, we use affiliate links*

Andrew and Sophie discuss one of the greatest novels ever written while discussing technique, the limits of plot, the beauty of Woolf’s prose, and more.*LINKS**Buy the Books* To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf (Wordsworth edition): https://amzn.to/3V1BIYmTo the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf (unabridged edition): https://amzn.to/3V8VPUoA Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf: https://amzn.to/475zyhPMrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf: https://amzn.to/3UwMuFOMore Books by Virginia Woolf: https://amzn.to/3JcC5NgJoin Patreon or Substack to get FULL access to Heavy Bored!Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HeavyBored Substack: https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Sign up for Andrew’s Newsletter for FREE! https://andrewwittstadt.substack.com/Contact us: heavyboredpodcast@gmail.comLeave a 5-Star Review on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heavy-bored/id1617156706Follow Us!Twitter: @heavyboredpod https://x.com/HeavyBoredPod@AndrewWittstadt https://x.com/AndrewWittstadtInstagram:@heavybored https://www.instagram.com/heavybored/TikTok:@heavyboredpodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@heavyboredpodcastYouTube:@heavybored https://www.youtube.com/@heavybored@heavyboredclips https://www.youtube.com/@heavyboredclips*when available, we use affiliate links*