Simply Convivial: Biblical Homemaking, Homeschooling & Mom Life—Without Burnout

Get The Convivial Homeschool book: https://amzn.to/3reVougWhen homeschool days go bad, we wonder if we are missing something or if there are better ways out there we’re missing. We want a lovely homeschool lifestyle, full of laughter and joy and definitely lots of learning – without tears. How’s a homeschool mom to make that happen?These techniques are how I work toward a better homeschool every day.Best Homeschool Technique #1 – Manage ExpectationsBest Homeschool Technique #2 – Pay AttentionBest Homeschool Technique #3 – Repent Always

See how your homeschool is doing with the REAL homeschool quiz: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/homeschoolI don’t know about you, but I always start off the year thinking that this year will be more awesome than last because this year I’m committed to really being, well, awesome.This school year will be different because I will be different.So, a decade into homeschooling and having rounded the bend of my thirties, maybe that idealism and optimism is tempered a bit, but I still feel it even if I try to suppress it.Maybe we won’t wake up whole new people on Monday morning, transformed into mothers who do the right thing every time, yet each year – depending on the year – we should try to take the next step in growing, maturing, and increasing.Rather than start the school year with strong but unrealistic goals to be 100% consistent, to never yell, or to always follow the plan, we should go into the year with concrete strategies for exactly how we will improve our teaching and leading skills this year.Be a better homeschool teacher by controlling our toneHaving taught classes to homeschool kids before teaching my own, it didn’t take me long into teaching my own to notice that for a class of other children, my tone immediately changes and I go into “teacher mode.” With my own children, I just stay in “me mode” which seems like it should be better, but isn’t. Maybe it’s “authentic” but it isn’t as helpful.I admit that one reason I still teach classes with other students mixed in with my own is to make it easier for me to enter “teacher zone” and give my kids the benefit of more conscious, purposeful, self-controlled teaching style.Mom’s tone matters. We don’t want our children to feel alone in their troubles and challenges even while they’re sitting next to us. To accomplish that, we can take a positive step and a negative step.Be a better homeschool teacher by controlling our wordsThis could be counted as controlling our tone, but I’m thinking of a more specific situation. In a homeschool day, we have to communicate many things to several people. Have you ever felt frustratingly incapable of that? Have you ever blamed the child for your lack of ability to communicate with him? I know I have (and do).Maybe I’m right and maybe I’m blame-shifting, but what I need is a strategy of communication that lets me cut through the blame and move our day forward.Classical education to the rescue. There’s this thing called Socratic teaching, and it applies in helping with math as much as it applies in literary discussions.Steven Covey made it a principle, a habit, of highly effective people, and highly effective people is exactly what we’re trying to be. He wrote:Seek first to understand, then to be understood.Usually I’m seeking to be finished. That’s where the trouble arises.Be a better homeschool teacher by controlling our thoughtsOur words and our tone are merely overflows of our heart, and we are commanded to take every thought captive. That means it’s possible.We might need to understand and direct our kids’ thought-trains, but we also need to be aware of our own and redirect our own as needed as well.Our thoughts are not inevitable, but our words and tone will flow inevitably from them.So if we want to control our tone and control our words, we need to also control our thoughts.

3 ways to handle perfectionism and get rid of perfectionist tendencies

SNAP into organization QUIZ: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/quizI had put dinner on the table.Wasn’t that enough for one day?To get up and then face the collection of plates, cups, pans, utensils, pots – not to mention the counters themselves.Ugh.Soaking seemed to be the best solution.If the dishes wait, no harm is done.Really, I was being a better housekeeper for putting it all off until the morning.It would take me so much less time, I told myself, to wait until the morning. The dishes would have soaked. I would have coffee. I could knock it out in no time – in the morning.For now, I’ll just go read and forget about this room. I’ve always been good at justifying my procrastination.And so for quite some time I always spent the first part of my day cleaning up from the day before. I refused to feel bad about it. I had made it my deliberate choice and strategy. It wasn’t the worst choice I’ve made in my life, but it didn’t help me, despite my protestations that it did.The idea that helped me break out of this procrastination rut was “clearing to neutral.”If the dishes wait, procrastination wins. Here's one cleaning strategy to beat procrastination.What’s the point?I used to think like this:“What is the point of making my bed? I’ll only sleep in it again.”“What is the point of cleaning the island? I’ll only cook on it again.”“What is the point of washing the dishes? We’ll only use them again.”The dishes can wait because we don’t need them again this instant. Why do them now?But the change started with the dishes. Then I realized it applied to the island. Finally, I even started making my bed due to the same reasoning.We wash the dishes because we’ll use them again.I need to clean the island so that it’s ready to cook on again.Actually, the reason I need to make my bed is so that we can sleep in it again, welcomed to our rest like decent and orderly people rather than collapsing in a mess like slobs.The story we tell ourselves matters.Clearing to neutral is a concept to save us both from perfectionism on the one hand and sloppiness on the other.Perfectionism thinks the point of a kitchen is to be a pristine showpiece. If it is anything other than perfect, it is not acceptable. This can make us either strive ceaselessly to make our kitchen look like no one lives in the house or, on the other hand, give up all attempts to make it look nice because we will never reach our too-high expectations.Sloppiness thinks the point of a kitchen is merely to hold things and to perform certain tasks in. Its state does not matter.Elisabeth Elliot once wrote:The way you keep your house, the way you organize your time, the care you take in your personal appearance, the things you spend your money on, all speak loudly about what you believe. The beauty of Thy peace shines forth in an ordered life. A disordered life speaks loudly of disorder in the soul.Our homes are tools to be used for the building up of people. Tools must be cared for, or they aren’t going to last long or be as effective. But the point is never to have a perfectly organized wall of tools that are never used. The use is the important part, but caring for them is essential to their being able to be used.

Are you a perfectionist? Is the reason for your chaos actually perfectionism?Show notes: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/blog/slob-perfectionist/Those who want all or nothing generally get nothing. I used to think I was not a perfectionist, because nothing I did was perfect. I was a slob, so how could I be a perfectionist?If all-or-nothing perfectionism is our tendency, then we shouldn’t be surprised when we can’t get up off the couch. Why start when we know we won’t accomplish what we’d like?Such perfectionism is debilitating, and it’s that debilitation that causes us to end up in chaos and discouragement that we can’t pull up out of.So how do we, then, pull up out of it? How can we pull up out of ourselves?Recover from perfectionism by practicing baby steps.Perfectionism is the mother of boom and bust cycles: a spurt of energy and enthusiasm propels us forward, but goals give way to reality and, because we didn’t meet the unrealistic goals, we sputter to a halt and give up.Baby steps are not glamorous, they don’t seem significant, but they lead to real, noticeable, tangible progress when we are content to stick with them.When we feel resistance to doing what needs to be done, instead of either trying to grit our teeth and power through, we can make it simpler to start by reducing what we’re expecting from ourselves.Perfectionism is false expectation. We envision the end we want, and if we know it won’t happen, we don’t begin. The best way out is to change what we envision, to take a humbler view of ourselves and our efforts, and submit to imperfect yet faithful next steps.

Find out about our community: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/membershipHear from a number of women about personalizing and customizing a planner to make it work for your life and needs.Planners don't have to be one-size-fits-all and they don't have to be confining or busy work.Keeping a weekly dashboard - in any format - will help you keep your plates spinning when life is hectic and busy.

Take the "get organized" quiz: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/quizHow to set up and organize any planner so that it works for you. Planner organization can seem complicated, but it really doesn't need to be.We can waste a lot of time setting up our planners. Here's the brass tacks of planner set-up:List current projects.Update your calendar so it's complete and correct, with the next 3 months visible.Have a set of lists for your weekHave a list of your daily top 3Have a space for taking notes and keeping running lists and thoughts.

Work Your Plan: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm A functional planner depends more on the user than the page templates and formats. You are the secret to your own functional planner, no matter what system you use. Three Rules to a Working Planner: It has a place for projects, notes, and a daily top three You carry it around with you and look at it throughout the day You update it every day, every week, and every quarter It's not the pages, but the process that makes a planner effective and functional.

Stop getting distracted and find the motivation you need to get momentum, find focus, make progress.Moms need to know how to stop getting distracted, because it's too easy to lose track of what's important and what needs to be done. We don't want to waste our time.To stop wasting time, we need better time management skills. Those skills include the simple practice of writing things down.We wonder how to stay focused, but it's as simple as writing things down, as brain dumping, to know what's actually on our plate.SHOW LESS

Download the free guide: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/braindumpWe all know the feeling. You can't focus, you can't think straight. You can't get a handle on life.The truth is that your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.Clear the clutter to free up your creative energy.Three steps:Spend 10-15 minutes everyday writing down the 1. thoughts that make you anxious, 2. the thoughts that repeat themselves, 3. the nagging questions and tasksWhen your mind is uncluttered, you come up with out of the box solutions you'd never have been able to think about when your mind was full of junk.