Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

Today, McKay reflects on the curves we all experience in the road of life and discusses how we can not only cope but also thrive when life throws us a curve. He discusses how leaning into life can make all the difference.  He opens up today’s episode on an unexpected note, recounting the trials and tribulations of the world’s famous eating contest competitors.  And while McKay doesn’t expect you to become Nathan’s next hotdog eating champion, he does hope that you lean in and commit to whatever endeavors you decide to pursue in this life the way those champions do.  Give it your all - don’t just dip your toe in.  McKay goes on to urge the audience to inspire others to lean into their own lives and goals as well, especially when working in a team.  When all group members are leaning in with their own unique skill sets, the team is more likely to thrive. It’s important to remember that life will still throw you curveballs, and it can be easy just to give up.  But, just like in baseball, if you strike out, there will always be another chance to try again.  Take Clay Dyer, professional sport bass fisherman, for instance; born without an arm on his left side and half an arm on the opposite, he made it his goal to become a fisherman, despite the unlikelihood of him making it big.  But because he leaned in, he made it happen. Learn to lean into life and you can make great things happen as well.The Finer Details of This Episode: The grit in eating contestsCommitting The story of John HancockInspiring othersLeaning into the turn on a bikeCoping with curveballsClay DyerQuotes: “Now, it's not likely that you and I are going to become professional speed eaters, but you have to admire a few things about these people. They are seriously committed to what they do. They lean into it with all their appetites.”“Let's say you've decided to give an online business a try. When you only dip your toe in the water, when you only give it a balanced effort, when you never lean fully into it, you're not likely to do as well.”“When you lean into people, when you're inclined towards their potential, they often rise and they often improve, and I was reminded how much other people need us to lean into them and have faith in them.”“When you find something you love, lean in and recognize that, in the game of life, you will strike out a few times at the plate.”“When a batter goes to bat, he'll get a hit 30% of the time. Players that hit .300 get paid the most, and they feel great about their performance. And you know what? We ought to feel the same. You don't win every time, and life isn't fair.”“Whatever you lean into will make the difference. So as we end today, remember, like competitive eaters, it doesn't matter what you've chosen to do, or what you've decided to be remarkable at doing. Lean into it with all your heart, focus and effort.”“Lean in.  Give what you have. At least, you'll learn and grow, and, at most, you'll succeed beyond your expectations.”Links: Open Your Eyes With McKay Christiansen

In the episode of Open Your Eyes, McKay discusses a grip that often takes hold in our life and directs our actions.  This grip, which McKay describes at the jaws of life, often lurks just outside our view and, little by little, changes the way we think, act, and live. What are these jaws?  Habits.  These habits can change our view of reality and over time pull us in a direction we otherwise would not go.  McKay discusses how we can avoid the jaws of life and build productive habits that help us live a healthy life.This episode opens with a narration of the tragic death of young Lane Graves who lost his life to the jaws of an alligator. Like Lane, McKay says many of us are pulled in opposite directions by the jaws of life. The reason? Our habits. McKay explains the power of habits and what happens when you lose control to poor habits. He describes how the habit of complacency causes us to settle and highlights the need to avoid the habit of pulling others down. Mckay draws this important episode to a close by detailing how to form new habits through creating a keystone habit and changing the habit loops in which we often find ourselves. Listen in today and gain a better understanding of these jaws of life and how to direct your life in a positive fashion.The Finer Details of This Episode:The tragic death of Lane Graves How the jaws of life grip and affect us The power of habits What happens when your habits take control of your life? How to avoid complacency in life How habits are formed Overcoming your habits What is a keystone habit? The dangers of putting others downQuotes:“There are jaws in our life that hold our future and how we live in their grip. And like an alligator's forceful grip, these forces in our life can seize control, and pull us in one direction or another.”“Habits can grip your life and carry you in a positive or negative direction. And the difference between the positive and negative is how purposefully you approach life.”“The key question is, are you directing your life, or are your habits directing you?”“If there's a plague in our generation today, it is more ease, more time, more leisure, and more choices. And all of these things can be blessings, and curses, depending on how we use them. Use them wisely and you can craft a meaningful life, a life of purpose.  Use them unwisely and the opposite will happen.”“We are what we repeatedly do. Laziness or complacency then is not an act, but a habit.”“There's greater rest and peace in a life with purpose.”“When I have a purpose that consumes my thinking, I am much more apt to create habits to meet that purpose.”“Displacement involves taking a hostile emotion from one situation and transferring it to another.”“Starting small allows you to find success on your way to larger habit changes.”Show Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

On this episode of the Open Your Eyes podcast, McKay  introduces the audience to the practice of showing up. He opens up the conversation by sharing the resilient story of Jane Marczewski, America’s Got Talent competitor, 2-time cancer survivor, and beautiful singer. Despite all of the unfair challenges that seemed to hold her back, namely a long battle with cancer and an unexpected divorce, Jane continued to show up each and every day. McKay believes that’s the secret to success: the more we show up for ourselves and others, the more we develop healthy habits and increase our chances of being in the right place at the right time.A simple act such as going to the gym to run every morning might not seem like a life changing pursuit, but the more you show up for yourself consistently, the more content and proud of yourself you will be. 80% of the battle is showing up after all. Waking up and driving to the gym before the sun rises is the hard part. McKay draws this episode to a close by recounting the trials and tribulations of Tony Romo’s quarterback career with the Dallas Cowboys. After graduating from a lackluster football program and not being selected during the draft, Tony Romo showed up day after day, determined to improve his game. As we, and the football community, know, he went on to do just that with immense success. And here’s the thing - you can too. By showing up for yourself and others, you will start to notice yourself thriving in all aspects of your life.The Finer Details of This Episode:Jane Marczewski's story of resiliency Showing up for yourself Showing up for loved ones Developing habits Tony Romo’s fortitudeQuotes:“Here she was, 30-years old, a two-time cancer survivor, divorced, trying to survive in the up and down life of writing music, trying to keep her faith despite life letting her down every time she seemed to rise.”“It’s important that everyone knows that I am so much more than the bad things that happen to me. You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”“Team members who show up for their team find their team often shows up for them.”“I have become a better person by trying to show up for other people. My disposition is different. I feel closer to people. I am more aware and self-aware in the process.”“Just showing up at the gym or on the running path may not sound like a big deal, but each time you show up, it’s a tiny victory.”“Being in the right place at the right time is a key to success. When you show up consistently, you create more chances that you’re in the right place when opportunities appear. Whether you keep looking for the right job or finding customers for your new business, showing up will drive you to find the opportunity you want.”Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

In this episode of the Open Your Eyes podcast, McKay talks about being a light not only in your own life, but in the lives of others as well. He opens up the episode with a story which exemplifies finding a light in someone else involving a midwife named Joanna and the message she received from her dead grandmother in a hospital room. McKay then goes on to alert us to the fact that we can all be lights, but it requires a special attention to positivity and the thoughts we allow ourselves to verbalize. As a PhD student, McKay studied the power of belief windows, and he found that those who had positive, optimistic mindsets were the ones that were first in accomplishing their personal goals - and that belief is infectious. Surrounding yourself with negative thoughts, speech, or people only serves to drag you down, and that’s why it becomes all the more important to regulate your time. Ensuring that you do at least one thing that you love per day is a surefire way to bring more contentment into your life and, by extension, the lives of those around you, too. McKay draws this episode to a close by talking about the importance of being a light for others. When you find and anchor yourself to a source of light, it becomes all the more clear who you are meant to be and how to help others find themselves as well.The Finer Details of This Episode:The story of Joanna the midwife Light vs. darkness 2002 Singapore Airlines fatal takeoff Belief windows Why belief is infectious Disney’s acquisition of Pixar Verbalizing negativity Doing what you love Being a light for othersQuotes:“Her friends thought she was foolish to give away money to the homeless because they would often use it to buy alcohol. But grandma simply said that she did what God would want her to do.”“I've met people who are filled with light and I've met people who are not filled with light, and there is a distinct and discernible difference. And some of you may even be able to recall times in your life when you've been filled with more light than at other times.”“Light and darkness cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Light dispels darkness. And when light is present, darkness is vanquished and must depart.”“Your belief window is how you choose to perceive the world around you. And we perceive the world through our beliefs like colored glasses that we wear without knowing it. We approach each day guided largely by these beliefs.”“A few pros are more powerful than even dozens of cons. That's what it means to be believing, to see the good in people, in things, in life, in yourself.”“What we talk about sets our intention. You know when we vocalize our loves, for whatever reason, they stay with us, and they stay with those around us.”“You and I can exert our influence for good in the lives of those around us. Our actions, words, thoughts and light can positively affect other people.”“We all need a little light from good people around us. And like Mary, with a fresh perspective, we can leave the dark behind in our life and become more light-filled, and no longer hide our light, but share it with others.”Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

This week, McKay talks about aspects of the culture effect, including creating culture, maintaining it, and how to rescue it. He opens up with a story detailing Tonga’s devastating volcanic eruption and how the Tongan culture, which values respect and open-mindedness, helped the people weather the storm. McKay notes that, when teams or families have a strong culture, they will thrive and prosper, but, on the other hand, when culture is weak, it can destroy your team and everything you’re working for. McKay also emphasizes that, as leaders, we have the opportunity to influence and shape the culture that drives us, and goes on to share that, to do so, we must learn to value feedback. So, make sure that you are slow to speak and quick to listen when it comes to creating a culture and values. Likewise, an influential leader will lead by example, sharing and modeling the values by which they hope their team will abide. McKay draws this episode to a close with one final piece of advice: be careful who you let join your team. All it takes is one person to totally alter your culture, so protect it and you will protect your team as well.The Finer Details of This Episode:Tonga’s devastating volcanic eruption The fall of IBM Defining culture Influencing culture The importance of feedback Sharing and modeling values Why mid level managers create cultureQuotes:"Tongans look out for each other and respect others. Many Tongans may avoid outward signs of wealth or affection. They dress in modest ways, and they're highly receptive to other people's opinion and behavior.”“Culture can guide a team, lead a company to thrive and prosper, or culture can, like toxic ash, choke a team and cause companies to fail, or fall.”“Most leaders don't understand culture and they don't know how to diagnose or influence it.”“Culture can help teams be more agile, loyal and effective… Culture can also be a significant liability when it's misaligned with your strategy or values. And it doesn't matter how dysfunctional your culture may be on your team today, you can improve it with a plan and intentional effort.”“So, like the researchers in Roseto, you may have to set up camp for a while on your team, maybe even in your family - watch, listen, and observe. See if you can uncover some of the cultural behaviors and assumptions that your team members have.”“You see, some leaders stopped showing up for the small things. And the result? Their people do the same. What you do duplicates, so if you want to change the culture on your team, model the behavior.”“Hire and recruit people who exemplify what culture you're trying to create. And over time, these managers will influence your entire team. So be very selective about the people you let influence your team.”“Listen, learn, and determine where your culture is today to define the mission and values that will underpin your future culture.”Links: Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

On today's episode, McKay explores the concept of happiness, including where to find it, and how to hold on to it. To intoduce this rather expansive topic, he opens up the show by reviewing Elizabeth Smart's story - her brutal experience getting kidnapped and raped, and her journey toward happiness. McKay says that, while it's true that happiness is partially dependent upon circumstance, we can also attribute a large portion of our happiness to dedication, the people who raised us, and those with whom we surround ourselves.He goes on to introduce more conditions for happiness, noting that, when we have admirable intentions and goals in our lives, for example, we find more daily satisfaction. Even the love we share and receive plays a large role in how content we are. McKay draws this highly positive podcast episode to a close by reminding the audience to find joy in the little things, and by offering this invaluable advice: “Stay poised in tough situations—good will prevail. Exercise. Serve. Have Faith. Be humble and watch…. You will be happy.”The Finer Details of This Episode:Elizabeth Smart’s journey Happiness dependent on circumstances Set happiness Taylor Swift’s NYU speech The value of intention Love and happiness Darren’s happy landing Focusing on the little thingsQuotes:"As the days passed, she started to realize that this may be her new way of life.”“He has taken 9 months of your life that you will never get back, but the best punishment you could ever give him is to be happy.”“Happiness is a choice.”“Married people report a slightly higher happiness level than single people. In research, 25 percent of married people and 21 percent of single people say they are very happy. In short, circumstances such as wealth or marital status only impact our happiness in small ways.”“We get more from our parents than eye color and facial features. We may get a large set of our happiness from them or from others. How we grew up or who we have interacted with throughout our life, does dictate our level of happiness.”“People with aspirations have higher energy levels, stronger immune systems, stronger mental health and feelings of self-confidence and self-esteem.”“I agree with the researchers. I believe happy people see the best, even in the toughest situations. They are empowered with poise and optimism.”“Remember, that only 10 percent of happiness depends on circumstances. Fifty percent is heritable. So be a person who sees, talks about and shares the good in life. You can pass on the habit of happiness to others and be a blessing to them.”“Focusing on the small things in life that bring you joy.”Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

This week, McKay talks about how to speak so people listen. He opens up the episode with the story of Ronald Reagan’s powerful speech to D-Day veterans at Pointe du Hoc.  Great speakers, McKay says, ask questions to connect with the audience and help them feel like the message is for them. To remember and map their speech, good speakers break their speech down into manageable chunks, each with important points to get across.  By using chunks, speakers can teach instead of memorizing their lines verbatim. Most importantly though, McKay holds that the key to speaking so that people listen is knowing your strengths and weaknesses.  Then, seek to magnify your strengths.  It’s your strengths that make your speaking memorable.He goes on to note that, when we try to mimic someone else’s style by playing to their strengths instead of our own, we come off as fake. That’s why McKay says it’s so important to share personal stories; the more an audience relates to you, the more they will listen to you. McKay also shares some speech 'don’ts' - such as using too many jokes to too much focus on the speaker. He draws this episode to a close by sending a heartfelt message to his friend Austin who has recently embarked on a public speaking journey of his own and encouraging all of us to learn a bit more how to speak so people listen.

What makes a speech remarkable and memorable? McKay answers this question in today’s episode as he brings to light examples of great speeches and teaches us how to improve our speaking skills. In order to connect with your audience, McKay explains that you have to focus on your audience, prime them to think in the same mindset, use stories to carry them along, and ask questions.The episode begins with the story of Abraham’s Lincoln speech, a short speech that inspired many and continues to do so to this day. McKay explains how Lincoln makes use of repetition and constraint in his speech and how he recognized his physical surroundings and atmosphere, giving more power to his speech. Mckay gives a step-by-step approach on how to become a better speaker by connecting more fully with your audience and making your speech less about you and more about your listener.The Finer Details of This Episode:Abraham Lincoln’s speech at Gettysburg Using repetition and contrast in speeches How to become a better speaker You have to focus on your audience and connect with them The story behind “I Have A Dream” Starting your speech by priming the listeners The different examples of priming Priming with stories and jokes The power of asking your audience questionsQuotes:“Great orators, when giving a speech, seek a cadence, a feeling, by their use of words.”“Great speaking is a developed talent.”“Too often, we don't consider the place or the audience. And so many speakers come at it from their own point of view, or make it about themselves. And this gets in the way, it prevents the listeners from fully engaging.”“Pay attention to where you sit. Sit where you can easily make contact with the listeners. Eye contact makes all the difference. ”“In the beginning of a presentation, you need to prime the listeners a bit so that they can follow you more intently. Priming brings the listener’s mind into your mindset and gets everyone on the same track.”“Too often, I hear speakers tell personal stories, and they're focused on sharing the story like an overzealous friend who just returned from vacation and wants to show you their vacation pictures. And they share every single exhausting detail about themselves.”“Priming is a useful skill in all of your speaking. And when you learn to prime well, you can elevate your effectiveness.”Show Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

On today’s episode, McKay talks about how to turn the skeptics and critics in your life to supporters and partners.  He shares several principles that can help bring skeptics to your way of thinking.  First, approach everything from their frame of reference. Often the smartest person in the room tends to be the quietest one, because they first seek to understand.  He goes on to talk about the importance of speaking with authenticity.   McKay shares the experience of Nelson Mandela who used the power of helping others feel validated to prevail in one of the most significant negotiations of all time.  McKay then talks of how parents and people can use trust to influence the skeptics and critics in their life. McKay then shares the tactics of Robert Cialdini to develop more influence with people in our life. These tactics include reciprocity, explaining why, contrasting, and social proof. So, put these skills to test when dealing with the skeptics or critics in your life.  They will help you win them over to your way of thinking.The Finer Details of This Episode: Shania Twain’s vocal cords infected by ticksTicks as a metaphor for skeptics The importance of listening Using trust to win over skepticsThe power of authenticityValuing others’ opinionsNelson Mandela’s quest for equality and freedomPracticing what you preachThe rule of reciprocityQuotes: “​​Turning skeptics into believers, and critics into partners can be done. And learning the skill to do that is not only useful in sales and business, but also with kids, spouses, and a host of other people in our life.”“When I'm talking to a skeptic, I don't always know how to bring them to my side, but after listening often, that way to bring them over is revealed to me. It's in listening that you gain your inspiration of how to persuade them.”“People who ask questions are often the smartest in the room, because they have the humility to ask about what they don't know.”“Next, winning the skeptics, critics, or other ticks to your side is a matter of trust. And trust is a function of two characteristics: character and competence. You may have someone with extreme character on your team, but if they're not competent, you don't trust them to do what needs to be done.”“So answer questions directly and genuinely. And remember, rapport is not enough to bring skeptics to your side.”“You see, Mandela understood that to get the people with the guns to give up the power, he had to convince them that they would be safe after doing so.”“​​When people know why you're building a business or your children understand why there is a rule, they're much more apt to comply.”“Remember, shut up and listen. Use questions to guide the direction of the discussion but make sure the skeptics and critics feel understood. Then talk to them in their language and from their point of view.”Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

On today’s episode of Open Your Eyes, McKay talks about getting over obstacles or mistakes in your life.  More often than not, we find ourselves looking to the past and focusing on what we could have done differently or better.  McKay argues this is harmful behavior.  The only true way to overcome the past is to accept where you are, see your current circumstance as a blessing, and look towards the future. McKay illustrates the power of leaving the past behind in his story of a skydiver’s accident that rendered her less capable of walking.  He notes that Emma could go on to live her life with an immense sense of regret or she could forgive herself, acknowledge the past, and put her energy towards writing the rest of her story.  Where you put your focus in life is where you will go.  So if you’re constantly looking back, you will stay there, but if you look forward, you will move onward and upward.  It’s why McKay talks so much about the importance of healthy thought patterns.  He draws this episode to a close on an uplifting note:  when we look ahead and develop a positive mindset, we take control over our own destinies, so make peace with who you are and what you’ve done, and move on. The Finer Details of This Episode: The only way out is throughGetting over past mistakesNoel’s free falling accidentSkeleton sleddingLooking forward instead of backwardThe importance of healthy thought patternsHow Emily Blunt overcame her stutterQuotes: “Yes, she was falling. Yes, she was about to die, but she was so grateful for her life. It turned her panic to peace.”“She now views her body so much differently. It's no longer something that defines her image, but rather a tool for her to live and enjoy the world.”“You must learn to break with and from these thinking patterns, and close that chapter in your life.”“In sledding, and in life, where you look is where you'll go. You see, our lives are shaped by where we look. And if you're looking back, that's where your thought patterns go. And if you're looking forward that too is where your thoughts and your life will go.”“Aristotle famously said, ‘We are what we repeatedly do.’ Excellence then is not an act but a habit. I think the same is true of what we repeatedly think.”“So stand at the door of your mind, and only let in what is positive and helpful.”“Sometimes you have to follow a script.  You have to act a bit before the change you're trying to accomplish feels entirely natural to you.”“Close that chapter in your life, and come to know the rest of your story. If you've fallen, be grateful for what you've learned, accept where you are, and move forward.”Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen