Social Skills Coaching

The last way we must struggle to keep an open mind and clarity of thought is concerning our social influences. The people around us can determine what we think and do, no matter how hard we try. This was proved in the Asch Conformity Test and the Milgram Shock Experiment. It doesn’t matter how open-minded you are; your environment can push you strongly in one way despite your best intentions.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Asch #AschConformityExperiment #ConfirmationBias #Conformity #Milgram #SolomonAsch #StanleyMilgrams #SwarthmoreCollege #YaleUniversity #BattleSocialInfluence #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

Next, we move to the pyramid of needs, otherwise known as Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It states that we are all seeking various types of needs in various points in our lives; when you can observe which level other people are in, you can understand what they are seeking out and motivated by. The levels of the hierarchy are as follows: physiological fulfillment, safety, love and belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization. Of course, this model, as well as the next one, also functions based on the pleasure principle.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AbrahamMaslow #InterpersonalRelationships #Maslow #PhysicalSafety #PhysiologicalFulfillment #Selfactualization #ThePyramidOfNeeds #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

Despite our own internal confusions, there are certain scientifically proven traits we do seek in mates that are more related to biological imperatives. We are subconsciously drawn to excitement and arousal, fulfilling gender-specific arousal triggers, a sense of humor, and masculine and feminine voices. Research shows that while smiling and expressing happiness can make people like and trust you, when it comes to relationships and dating, this is not always the case: men find smiling, happy women most sexually attractive, but women tend to rate as more attractive those men who express pride (i.e., competence and self-assuredness) and shame (lowered gaze and awareness of social norms). At least initially, expressing happiness is theorized to convey a lack of status or dominance. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AlecBeall #Beall #EmotionalMaturity #Selflessness #SelflessnessIsSexy #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

The four principles of Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent communication are: observations, feelings, needs, and requests, in that order. First make neutral observations instead of judgmental evaluations. Next, seek to explore feelings and not opinions. Be careful about using “you” statements or attributing blame, and instead take responsibility for your own experience. Next, connect your feelings with any unmet needs with the format: “I feel X because I need Y.” Finally, end with a respectful and reasonable request focused on your needs. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Communicate #Communication #ConflictResolutions #EffectiveCommunication #Listening #MarshallRosenbergs #NonviolentCommunication #NonviolentCommunicationFramework #ListeningAndNonviolentCommunication #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

Any discussion on motivation must begin with the pleasure principle, which generally states that we move toward pleasure and move away from pain. If you think about it, this is omnipresent in our daily lives in both minuscule and huge ways. As such, this actually makes people more predictable to understand. What is the pleasure people are seeking, and what is the pain they are avoiding? It’s always there in some way.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Motivation #PleasurePainPrinciple #PleasurePrinciple #OurInnerChildStillLives #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

Despite our own internal confusions, there are certain scientifically proven traits we do seek in mates that are more related to biological imperatives. We are subconsciously drawn to excitement and arousal, fulfilling gender-specific arousal triggers, a sense of humor, and masculine and feminine voices. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#AlbrightCollege #Arousal #ArthurAron #Attraction #AttractiveFemale #BiologicalDifferences #DesirableTraits #DonaldDutton #EmilyNagoski #FemaleSexualArousal #GenderDifference #PhysicalArousal #ResponsiveSexualArousal #SexualArousal #DrSusanHughes #TriggersForAttractionAndArousal #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction

Immersing yourself in someone else’s equally valid reality is harder than it looks, and so we need to routinely test our own assumptions. We need to ask people questions and challenge our own assumptions about what they think or feel or how we attribute their actions. Psychologizing people is a way we can believe we’re listening compassionately, but actually we’re forcing our interpretation or worldview onto another person instead of genuinely listening to their experience. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CompassionateConcern #ConstructiveFeedback #GoodListener #HarmfulAssumptions #IntentionalCommunication #MentalModels #QuestionYourself.QuestionOthers. #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication

Confirmation bias is also the most prominent way that we fail to simply follow the evidence. If we perform research and keep an open mind, our task is simple: just follow the arrows where they point. But all too often, we are seduced into following the wrong arrows. These include the cognitive distortions of focusing on “must” and “should”, black-and-white thinking, the Dunning-Kruger Effect, and labeling. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fzShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#ConfirmationBias #DavidDunning #DunningKrugerEffect #IndependentThinker #InterpersonalCommunications #JustinKruger #Kruger #It’SOkayToBeUncertain #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker

We’ve talked about analyzing and predicting behavior based on people’s emotions and values, but what about motivation? It turns out there are a few prominent and fairly universal models of motivation that can give you a helpful framework to understand people with. When you can pinpoint what people are motivated by, you can see how everything leads back to it either directly or indirectly.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#CarlJung #CompassionateUnderstanding #Jungian #PsychologicalDiscomfort #ShadowModel #WhyBotherToUnderstandPeopleAtAll #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook

Finally, we become great people-readers when we understand ourselves. We need to know what biases, expectations, values, and unconscious drives we bring to the table so we are able to see things as neutrally and objectively as possible. We must refrain from letting pessimism cloud our judgments because its often easier to arrive at the more negative conclusion when an alternate, more positive one is equally likely. To gain better insight into the progress you make as you read through this book, you need to know your proficiency at analyzing people as you start out. Simon Baron Cohen has come up with a test available on http://socialintelligence.labinthewild.org/ that’ll help you gauge how good you are at reading people’s emotions right now. It is also a good way to come to the realization that we are perhaps not as good at reading people as we think we are.Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeoplekingShow notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotesLearn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting#Cohen #NonverbalCues #SaschaBaronCohen #SimonBaronCohen #SocialIntelligence #TheProblemOfObjectivity #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook