Social Skills Coaching

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:24 Similarly, so called Barnum statements, named after famed showman and Hoaxbuster P t.00:05:56 Avoid Emotional Disconnectors and Word Trash00:13:47 Elizabeth Stoke is a professor of social interaction at Lowborough University00:16:13 Researchers at Amsterdam's Vu University 00:16:24 Lead researcher Camille Buickenboom 00:18:41 Jacob Hirsch and Jordan Peterson from the University of Toronto00:19:12 Social psychologist James W. Pennebaker and his colleagues00:29:14 Summary Hear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Use the principles of cold reading to create quick rapport and “read” nonverbal expressions to gain insight into their personalities. Observe, redirect their attention, collaborate with them, and gather information during back-and-forth conversation. Pay close attention to the details and make constantly updated predictions, maintaining warmth while you redirect from incorrect guesses.• Finally, avoid emotional disconnect caused by “trash words” such as “just,” “honestly,” “amazing,” “slay it,” or “should.”• Listen to how somebody speaks and uses language to gain insight into their mental models of the world. Notice the focus of their speech, their pronoun use, their positioning of subject and object, and how they explain neutral events. Always be curious about what this expression tells you about the person’s perspective, beliefs, worldview, and focus.#AvoidEmotionalDisconnectors #Barnum #Beukeboom #BigFive #CamielBeukeboom #ElizabethStokoe #EllenLeanse #EQ #HowWordChoiceRevealsCharacter #JacobHirsh #JamesWPennebaker #JordanPeterson #Kufner #LinguisticInquiry #LoughboroughUniversity #Nonverbal #Openmindedness #Pennebaker #PTBarnum #Shotgunning #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:00:35 The Friendship Formula is a simple framework for building and maintaining strong friendships.00:07:04 The Friendship Formula 00:09:13 Dr. Jack Schaefer, former FBI agent and author of The Like Switch, has a theory that might have the answer.00:19:04 How to Use Schaefer's formula to Your BenefitHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI • Dr. Jack Schafer’s “friendship formula” is as follows: Friendship = Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity. Friendship will develop according to the sum of all these four elements. That means that one element can be relatively weak if another compensates by being extra strong. • Building friendships is about fostering increasing closeness—i.e., proximity. Greater frequency also means a stronger chance of friendship developing. The more frequently you engage with someone, the more they feel like part of your world. Friendship takes time to build, so greater duration of time spent together means greater chance of friendship. Finally, it matters how well you’re able to satisfy another person’s needs during any social interaction. The more you can, the better the chance of striking up a friendship. • When making friends, deliberately find ways to increase proximity and the duration, frequency, and intensity of your interactions with people, in that order. Go slow!#ACTION #CignaLonelinessReport #CityIndexSurvey #DrJackSchafer #DrSchafer #FRIENDSHIPFORMULA #LonelinessProject #Schafer #SchafersFormula #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:10 In 1974, business professor Chris Argyris created a handy tool00:06:22 How to Use the Ladder in Your Own Life00:16:02 Consider the following speech made by Barack Obama at the 2004 Democratic National Convention00:18:23 George Lakoff is an author and professor of cognitive science and linguistics.Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI • Poor communication arises as a result of a mismatch of perspectives, approach, or conversational skill. People process information differently, but to avoid misunderstandings, communicate consciously and use the “ladder of inference.” It shows the unique way that people use their experiences to make meaning: observations > selected data > meanings > assumptions > conclusions > beliefs > actions. • Conflict can occur when people are on different rungs. To improve communication, see where people are and how their ladder of inference is working for them, then speak to that, in sequence, and without blame or shame. • Good communicators deliberately create their own frames during conversations and position their line of thinking by using specially chosen words, expressions, and images. Change frames and you change meaning. • Deliberately engineer your conversational frame and invite the other person in using pre-existing concepts they’re familiar with to improve the chances they’ll be receptive. Remember that reality is fixed, but the meaning of reality is dynamic and subject to change. #ACTIONS #Argyris #ASSUMPTIONS #BELIEFS #Birkin #ChrisArgyris #CONCLUSIONS #GeorgeLakoff #Hermes #MEANING #POOLOFOBSERVATIONS #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #SocialSkillsCoaching #PatrickKindConsulting #PatrickKing #HowToSpeakEffectively

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:54 Author Nick Morgan describes in his book Power Cues 00:08:34 How to Master Nonverbal Communication00:12:08 Body Language Basics00:14:37 Look for Clusters of Behavior 00:15:26 Don’t Be Afraid to Trust Your Instincts00:16:16 What to Look At00:18:50 The Art of Cold Reading00:19:50 Four Important Cold Reading Principles00:21:36 Redirection00:22:32 Collaboration00:23:19 ConversationHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Be mindful of your meta-language and make sure that your verbal and nonverbal signals are aligned. Nonverbal communication can repeat, substitute, complement, or accent our verbal communication. If it doesn’t, we risk sending mixed messages or lowering trust. Pay attention to messages sent using facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye contact, touch, use of space, and voice characteristics. • To build mindful awareness of your nonverbal communication, try to eliminate in-the-moment stress (by breathing, pausing, and connecting with your five senses) and cultivate emotional awareness (including the ability to tolerate and accept emotions as they are). • When reading body language, think holistically, dynamically, relatively, and in context. Don’t rely on single data points, but look for clusters of behavior, inconsistencies with context, and a shift from baseline. #AuthorNickMorgan #BodyLanguageBasics #Clusters #ColdReading #Collaboration #Communication #EQ #FourImportantColdReadingPrinciples #MasterNonverbalCommunication #Morgan #Observation #Posture #Redirection #Stress #Substitution #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:54 Use a Journal and Be Your Own Therapist00:06:50 How to Use AffirmationsHear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• A journal is a powerful self-help tool that slows your thoughts, keeps track of your progress, and helps you uncover patterns as well as develop your values and goals. Use writing prompts to guide self-exploration without judgment.• Recurrent themes will emerge over time, and these can be inverted to create your own affirmations. These become like useful shortcuts to guide and shape your journey to healthier boundaries, better communication, and stronger self-identity.#Affirmations #Journal #Journaling #Meditate #Peoplepleasing #Relationship #SetBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-homeHear it Here - adbl.co/3OJ4V72• Empathy is the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation, and being able to occupy their perceptual position/perspective. In NLP’s “perceptual positions” exercise, first position is your own point of view, second position is another person’s, and third position concerns the view of you both from a third, neutral observer perspective. • By switching between these positions, you gain more insight, understanding, and empathy, and find solutions to problems. No position is best, but wisdom comes from being able to skillfully shift between all three. • Perspective-taking is an act of social imagination where you temporarily set aside your own frame of reference and entertain another, possibly very different one. Self-awareness and awareness of others means we can develop theory of mind and a certain mental flexibility.• Build this capacity by looking at pictures of people and trying the “step inside” activity, the “step in, step out, and step back” activity, or the “context” exercise. These will help you strengthen your ability to consider the world through other people’s eyes. • One of the biggest obstacles to genuine empathy and emotional intelligence is ego—our own and others’. When dealing with people who are constantly self-referential, uninterested in things that don’t benefit them, lacking in personal accountability and empathy, and have a heightened opinion of themselves, try to avoid getting into a battle of the egos. Lower expectations, stay firm in your boundaries, and maintain distance. • Watch for narcissism in yourself, too: Don’t assume you’re immune to self-absorption, work on your self-esteem, and consciously mix with those who don’t always confirm your worldview. #DrDurvasula #DSM #Durvasula #Egotist #EgotisticalPeople #Empathy #Entitlement #EQ #Incivility #RamaniSDurvasula #Narcissism #NLP #Perspectivetaking #Ramani #StepInsideExercise #StepOutStepBackExercise #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofEQ

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:02:32 You’ll Know That Codependency Is Part Of Your Need To People-Please If:00:05:00 Make Yourself Your New Rescue Project00:08:42 Gradually Separate Yourself.00:09:23 Become Curious Where Your Bad Feelings Come From.00:10:54 Stop Making Excuses.00:12:30 Use A Journal to discover the roots of your behavior.Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• People-pleasers can sometimes fall into codependent relationships, where one person is reliant on another, whether that’s physically, emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually. These toxic dynamics can only be broken when the person is able to re-prioritize themselves as their own “rescue project” and rewrite the core belief that they are only good people if they are needed. This requires understanding the roots of behavior and refusing to make excuses anymore.#Addiction #Codependency #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #&StopPleasingOthers

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:03:40 In Aristotle's time, Oration was an honored art and tradition00:04:00 Ethos00:06:26 Pathos00:12:25 Cairos 00:20:29 Workplace Communication Etiquette00:32:16 The Seven C's of Effective Workplace Communication00:38:16 SummaryHear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag• Persuasion is about trying to change or influence someone’s mind, and it rests on knowing what that person’s values, perspectives, and needs are so you can address them directly. • According to Aristotle, the four main modes of persuasion are ethos (appeal to authority), pathos (appeal to emotion), logos (appeal to reason), and kairos (making an argument at the right time and place). Good oration and rhetoric are not about which mode fits you or your message best, but knowing how to put your message in a form that the audience is most likely to hear.• To speak to pathos, be vulnerable or share a personal experience or even a secret. To speak to logos, use hard data and evidence or a deductive or inductive argument. To speak to ethos, share genuine and relevant credentials. In all cases, try to understand your audience’s emotional state, their perspective, and their most pressing need, then present your message in terms that will appeal to them most. • Workplace communication runs on all the same communication rules, but we have to consider the bigger role that written and electronic communication plays, too. Professional communication is more about appropriateness, politeness, custom, convention, and formality. • We need to consider the goal, content, and medium to the message, as well as the audience. First, clarify the reason for communication and let that decide the most appropriate medium. Factor in your company’s unique communication culture and be mindful of your tone. • Professional communication should follow the seven Cs: It should be clear, concise, correct, concrete, considerate, complete, and courteous.

Learn about the importance of emotional intelligence and empathic listening. Practice offering constructive responses and avoiding conversational narcissism. Discover tips on cultivating conversational intelligence and showing genuine interest in others.

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home00:01:42 Pleasing others becomes a transaction or a deal 00:02:44 Mindfulness Meditation for People-Pleasers 00:06:09 1. Sit somewhere comfortably, slow your breathing, and relax. 00:06:16 2. If worries, concerns, and anxious thoughts pop up, say hello to them but set them aside. 00:06:26 3. Focus calmly on your breathing 00:06:37 4. When distracting thoughts pop up again, set them aside again and come back to your breath.00:09:02 Loving-Kindness Meditation for People-PleasersHear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu• Kindness and compassion are wonderful if they are genuine. People-pleasers need to learn to develop the skill of genuine kindness rather than acting out of fear, obligation, or a sense of transaction. Mindfulness and loving-kindness practice are two ways to help rescue genuine compassion from the need to please.• Mindfulness meditation is about presence and being aware of the present moment without judgment or grasping. Go calm and quiet within, setting aside thoughts as they arrive and accepting what is without trying too hard to achieve any particular end.• Loving-kindness meditation practices generating warm, accepting, and loving attention and extending it to others as well as to yourself. Visualize kindness flowing to the people you love, then progressively to others, and finally to yourself. Compassion does not mean agreement or forgiveness, only that we can acknowledge that as human beings, we all have worth since we are part of what is.#Boundary #Compassion #Lovingkindness #LovingKindnessMeditation #Meditation #Mindfulness #MindfulnessMeditation #Peoplepleasers #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers