Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Part 2 of a conversation on perfectionism with Professor Thomas Curran from the London School of Economics. Rather than expecting perfection from your child try modelling making mistakes - embrace failure and setbacks when they arise. This (not perfectionism) is what leads to success! Topics in this episode: Feeling that you are not enough The rise of perfectionism – and the harm it’s doing us all | Mental health | The Guardian Link between perfectionism and psychological distress Parental/societal expectations Increased competition and excessive pressure "Doing your best" - is this helpful? Self-sabotage, procrastination and avoidance of failure  What is success? The Perfection Trap Thomas Curran's new book   Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Professor Thomas Curran is (among many impressive titles) a 'perfectionist expert'. He unpacks the 'what, why, where, who, and how' of perfectionism in part 1 of this compelling discussion with Dr Justin Coulson. Part 2 of this conversation can be found here. Today's conversation covers: What is perfectionism? The link between mental health challenges and perfectionism Perfectionism in children - genetics or environmental? The 3 types of perfectionism Intergenerational transmission of perfectionistic tendencies The challenging cycle of self-defeat The Perfection Trap Thomas Curran's new book TEDMED - Our dangerous obsession with perfectionism is getting worse   Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There are some simple yet profound ways to let your family know that they are loved, irreversibly and unconditionally.  "How do you feel loved?" Being together as a family The power of names Joy and gratitude Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

*Content warning: mature themes - listener discretion advised* How do you talk to your kids when they are touched by the profound loss of a loved one through a suicide? These hard conversations must be had openly with your children - with kindness, compassion, and empathy. Your job is NOT to tell them everything, but to answer their questions honestly, in an age-appropriate way.  Topics in this episode: Protecting children from pain Limited evidence for how to have these conversations Keep your reactions level National Centre for Childhood Grief Keep the conversation age/developmentally appropriate Young Children and Middle Childhood: Keep it simple Operate on the principle of 'the fire hose' Answer questions honestly (to the degree with which they are curious) - the more general you can be, the more protected your child will be Offer empathy Talking helps to dispel misinformation and stigma and creates a safe space to ask questions Encourage questions about anything, and at any time Ensure they understand what "dead" means. Give concrete answers, not idioms or euphemisms Expect and accept a range of emotions (and behaviours!) from your child, which will change daily. Let them feel safe to let it all out Picture Books for Helping Children Navigate Grief Elergy for an Elephant by Ryan Abramowitz Death Is Stupid by Anastasia Higginbotham Luna's Red Hat by Emmi Smid Red Chocolate Elephants by Diana C. Sands Forever Connected by Jessica Correnti For help: Lifeline: 13 11 14 Suicide Callback Service: 1300 659 467 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 987 Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 Standby - Support After Suicide 1300 727 247 In Memory of Logan - Happy Families Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

*Content warning: mature themes - listener discretion advised* When someone is grieving the death of a loved one, it can be difficult to know how to approach them and what to say. How do you convey your compassion, your awareness of their enormous loss? What words and actions are helpful to the person grieving, and what is unhelpful or perhaps even harmful? Colin Campbell, author of 'Finding the words', shares a practical and helpful approach to supporting someone in their grief, how to move through sorrow and profound loss with hope and purpose, and why there is a vital need for community during the grieving process. Topics in this episode: The loss of a child Suicide How to support someone in their deep sorrow - what to say, what not to say "I have no words" ends any chance of a dialogue about grief. Find the words. The evolution of grief, and of the grieving person's identity within that sorrow The importance of engaging with and accepting grief, rather than avoiding it Grief as a sensitive, taboo subject further isolates those in mourning Why trying to comfort a grieving person is not helpful Different societal/religious responses to grief, traditional mourning processes, and cultural tools and rules for managing grief in community. Of particular note:   Jewish mourning traditions: Mourning Kaddish, Shiva ,and Ending Shiva Māori mourning ceremony - Tangihanga What Losing My Two Children Taught Me About Grief - The Atlantic  Viktor Frankl 'Mans Search for Meaning' Adoption (and the trauma and grief that can accompany it) In Memory of Logan For help: Lifeline: 13 11 14 Suicide Callback Service: 1300 659 467 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 987 Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 Standby - Support After Suicide 1300 727 247   Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As many of you would be aware, Justin's nephew Logan died at the age of 20 after taking his own life. Craig Bruce is the executive producer of the Happy Families Podcast, and provides a quick update on Justin and Kylie and what the podcast will look like over the next few days. Justin and Kylie will be taking a break to spend time with family, before we return on Wednesday, November 15th with a timely conversation with Colin Campbell. After the death of his two teenage children in a car accident, Colin wrote the book 'Finding the Words', a powerful account of how he navigated through unimaginable grief. From everyone at Happy Families, thank you so much for all of your comments, thoughts and messages at this difficult time, If you or anyone you know needs help, reach out to the following services: Lifeline on 13 11 14, Suicide Callback Service on 1300 659 467, Mensline Australia on 1300 789 987or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

*Content warning - parental discretion advised* Detective Superintendent Jayne Crossling from ACCCE outlines the critical role parents and carers play in keeping children safe online. Learn how to have important conversations with your children - education is the key to prevention!  Topics in this episode: What is capping? The work of ACCCE  Teenagers at risk How in-game chat functions move to encrypted environments or video chat Red flags that are often missed The role of parents and carers in keeping children safe online Supervision and rules for screens Teaching children how to respond  Laws regarding child self-generated material Advice for parents   Some previous interviews with Detective Superintendent Jayne Crossling from ACCCE: #699 Jayne Crossling on Safe Photo Sharing #731 Kids and Grooming - What You Need to Know #748 Are Paedophiles Really Looking at Your Kids Online? Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode Justin speaks to Paul Dillon from Drug and Alcohol Research Training Australia about getting ready for the schoolies season. Find out more about Paul Dillon at the Drug and Alcohol Research Training Australia website. Topics discussed in this episode: The cons of letting your kids celebrate schoolies abroad How safe are organised schoolies events? Why schoolies is the last opportunity for parents to talk safety with their kids before they are legally adults   Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

With the silly season just around the corner we share some simple tips to help navigate (or avoid entirely!) a meaty "Christmas Conundrum" - when disappointed children and disgruntled gift-givers collide.  Topics in this episode: Justin's history of dodgy gift giving Being disappointed AND grateful The thought is important Having conversations before Christmas events How to do difficult conversations with extended family Forewarned is forearmed    If you have a Christmas Conundrum you would like Justin and Kylie to solve, you can email your question to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Worms, scooters and buckets, oh my! Today we share some personal stories of "nailing it and failing it" to help you be more intentional with your family.  Topics in this episode: Connection before direction Flexible intention Homeschooling Worm farming Justin has a no good, very bad, terrible day and gets HANGRY Filling relationship buckets "People matter, things don't"   Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.