Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

What happens when researchers analyze 238 studies spanning 51 years and 38 countries? They discover one consistent truth: autonomy support leads to thriving kids, while psychological control leads to struggling ones. Learn why guilt, shame and coercion damage child wellbeing, and discover the three practical steps to becoming a more supportive parent. Plus, understand why this holds true across all cultures and age groups. Quote of the Episode: "If you want to be a great parent, and there was one variable that mattered more than anything else, this is it. It's about autonomy support." Key Insights: Meta-analysis covered 238 studies across 51 years Research included 126,000 participants from 38 countries Results consistent across cultures and age groups Psychological control leads to maladaptive perfectionism Control linked to depression 12 months later Reducing control improves academic performance Findings apply from toddlers through adolescence Three types of control: autonomy support, psychological control, and behavioral control Resources Mentioned: Emma Bradshaw's meta-analysis study The Parenting Revolution book University of Sydney research Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Explore: Take your child's perspective and understand their viewpoint Explain: Provide clear rationales for rules and limits Empower: Work together to develop frameworks and boundaries See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New research from the National Child Health Poll reveals surprising statistics about children's sleep, including why 42% of kids have sleep problems and why parents' beliefs about teen sleep might be wrong. Learn why screen time isn't actually helping kids wind down, how caffeine affects sleep patterns, and discover the biology behind why teenagers really do struggle to wake up early. Quote of the Episode: "While we're exhausted at 8:30, teenagers are still good to go at 9:00, 9:30 - that's when melatonin starts to kick in." Key Insights: 42% of children have sleep pattern problems 47% of parents wrongly believe screens help wind down Caffeine after lunch doubles sleep difficulties Teen biology affects sleep timing Melatonin production differs between teens and adults Regular sleep patterns matter more than total hours Screen use disrupts natural sleep cycles Sleep routines remain important for all ages Resources Mentioned: National Child Health Poll Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: No Screens Before Bed Implement one-hour screen-free period Remove devices from bedrooms Establish Sleep Hygiene Consistent bedtime Regular wake time Cool, dark, quiet bedroom Create Bedtime Routines Age-appropriate wind-down activities Consistent patterns Calming environment See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is your child begging for makeup while you're desperately trying to preserve their innocence? From church on Sundays to everyday requests, the makeup debate touches deep parental fears about growing up too fast. Discover why parents really resist early makeup use, and learn a practical three-step approach to handling this delicate issue. Plus, hear how six daughters taught these parents that sometimes the biggest parenting battles aren't worth fighting after all. Quote of the Episode: "Making a big deal about makeup is perhaps a bit unnecessary - we've learned not to sweat the small stuff." Key Insights: Most parental concerns about makeup stem from fears about premature maturity Research shows resistance often comes from conservative backgrounds Parents worry about beauty standards and self-worth connections The more parents resist, the more appealing makeup becomes Force creates resistance in these situations Family rules evolve with experience and understanding The Three E's approach works well for makeup discussions Context and motivation matter more than specific age limits Resources Mentioned: Beauty Sick by Renée Engeln [affiliate link] Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey [affiliate link] Miss Connection Summit Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Explore: Get curious about your child's real motivation Explain: Share your values and concerns openly Empower: Work together on solutions that respect both perspectives See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever cringed at a recording of your own voice? Imagine watching your daily parenting played back on video. In this raw and honest episode, Dr Justin Coulson shares how a humbling surfing experience revealed the game-changing power of self-awareness in parenting. Discover why 95% of parents think they're self-aware (but only 10-15% actually are), and learn the three practical steps to close your own self-awareness gap. Warning: might involve some uncomfortable truths! Quote of the Episode: "Sometimes our most uncomfortable moments of self-awareness become our greatest opportunities for transformation." Key Insights: Only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware, despite 95% thinking they are Self-aware parents show improved emotional awareness of themselves and their children Video feedback leads to significant improvements in parenting behaviours Small, focused improvements are more effective than trying to fix everything at once Regular feedback and reflection are crucial for growth Self-awareness impacts relationship quality with children The gap between perceived and actual parenting skills often requires objective feedback Incremental improvements lead to sustainable change Resources Mentioned: Tasha Eurich's research on self-awareness Research on video feedback in parenting Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Create Your Own "Surf Video Moment" Record interactions with children Ask for specific feedback from family members Be prepared for initial discomfort Ask the "What's One Thing?" Question Seek specific, focused feedback daily Make improvements manageable Focus on one area at a time Practice Daily Reflection Spend 5 minutes journaling each evening Note one positive interaction and one area for improvement Track progress over time See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The mental load in families isn't just about remembering school events or planning meals - it's an invisible, boundaryless, and enduring form of labour that impacts relationships, careers, and wellbeing. Join Professor Leah Ruppanner from the University of Melbourne as she unpacks groundbreaking research on how mental load affects modern families, why it's not just about task-sharing, and what couples can do to create more balance. Quote of the Episode: "The mental load is the emotional thinking work that we do to keep our households functioning." Key Insights: Women carry 71% of household mental load tasks. Mental load is invisible, boundary-less, and enduring. Both partners often duplicate mental load without realising. Schools generate nearly 3,000 WhatsApp messages per child annually. Men in equitable relationships report better health, sleep, and life satisfaction. Single parents (both mums and dads) share similar mental load levels. Work structures and social norms make it difficult for men to step into care roles. Mental load cannot be eliminated but can be better understood and managed. Resources Mentioned: Fair Play cards system Goldie app for managing school communications University of Melbourne research Misperceived podcast Professor Leah Ruppanner (@ProfLeah on Instagram) Action Steps for Parents: Start conversations about mental load without blame or past baggage. Consider how technology (like AI assistants) might help manage communications. Acknowledge both partners' different but equally valid mental burdens. Practice accepting help and taking breaks without guilt. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your child walks into the room, what do they see? Drawing from Toni Morrison's profound insight and an Olympic coach's wisdom about competition, discover how subtle expressions shape our children's sense of worth and why measuring against our own progress matters more than beating others. Plus, learn why even well-intentioned critical looks might be sending the wrong message. Quote of the Episode: "When they walked in the room, I was glad to see them. It's just as small as that... That is how you learn what your value is." Key Insights: Children read facial expressions more than words. Good intentions can still show as criticism. Competition should focus on personal improvement. Our reactions shape children's sense of worth. Joy should be visible, not just felt. Even caring criticism can appear negative. Personal bests matter more than winning. Face-to-face interactions shape self-worth. Resources Mentioned: Frank Dick's coaching philosophy Toni Morrison on the Oprah Show Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Notice your facial expression when children enter the room.. Focus on personal growth rather than competitive outcomes. Show joy intentionally in daily interactions Make delight visible when greeting children. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A mum's classroom confrontation made headlines, but the full story reveals a more complex reality about school bullying. Learn why traditional approaches often fail, what evidence you need to collect, and when removing your child might be the best option. Plus, discover why building adult relationships could matter more than peer connections. Quote of the Episode: "Fundamentally our job is to keep our kids safe. When we can't control others' behaviour, sometimes removing our children is the only option." Key Insights: High emotions lead to poor decision-making. Evidence collection is crucial for intervention. Restorative practice isn't always effective.  Working within the system brings better results. Adult mentoring may be more valuable than peer relationships. System escalation requires documented evidence. Physical and psychological safety must be priorities. Traditional age-based socialisation may need rethinking.   Resources Mentioned: eSafety Commissioner website Department of Education Police reporting systems Happy Families   Action Steps for Parents: Document Everything Keep interaction records Save digital evidence Track all school communications 2.  Work Within the System Follow proper channels Escalate systematically Maintain evidence trails 3. Consider Safety Options Evaluate psychological safety Consider environment changes Build adult support networks See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Does helping around the house lead to a better love life? In this preview of Saturday's interview with Professor Leah Ruppanner, we explore the surprising truth about mental load duplication in relationships and why keeping score might be missing the point. Plus, discover why men who share the mental load don't just get 'lucky' - they get better sleep, health, and life satisfaction too. Quote of the Episode: "The load hasn't shifted, it is still as heavy as it was, but now we're shouldering it together." Key Insights: Both partners often carry duplicate worries and mental load Men frequently carry heavy but unspoken burdens Task division isn't about transactions but teamwork Mental load reduction isn't about attraction but creating space for connection Daily vs episodic tasks affect how couples share responsibilities Working as a team matters more than keeping score Sharing mental load benefits both partners' wellbeing Open communication about burdens strengthens relationships Resources Mentioned: Professor Leah Ruppanner, University of Melbourne Research on mental load and marital satisfaction Happy Families Full interview airing Saturday Action Steps for Couples: Acknowledge both partners' mental burdens without score-keeping Share loads together rather than carrying them individually Focus on team approaches rather than transactional divisions Create space for connection by sharing mental and physical tasks See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When everything's a battle with your three-year-old, understanding the developmental realities can transform your approach. Learn why emotional regulation, theory of mind, and language development explain those challenging behaviours, and discover three practical solutions that actually work. Plus, find out why your child might be an angel at daycare but struggle at home - and why that's actually a good sign. Quote of the Episode: "We expect way too much of our children emotionally and not nearly enough of them physically." Key Insights: Emotional regulation begins developing at age 3-4 Theory of Mind develops around ages 4.5-5.5 Language limitations affect behaviour management Different contexts (home vs daycare) create different behaviours Connection matters more than correction Rushing and time pressure escalate emotions The importance of autonomy for toddler cooperation Fun can transform routine tasks Resources Mentioned: Little People, Big Feelings [webinar] The Parenting Revolution [book] Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Slow Down Create margin in routines Reduce rushing Maintain calm Build Connection Focus on feeling seen, heard, and valued Prioritize emotional availability Engage in their activities Make it Fun Add playful elements to routine tasks Use music and movement Transform ordinary moments with simple games See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When kids feel they belong at school, the benefits last up to 10 years into their future. Drawing from groundbreaking Monash University research, discover why school belonging trumps academic success for long-term wellbeing, and learn the two key relationships that can transform your child's school experience. Plus, get practical strategies to help your child build stronger school connections, even if they're struggling to fit in. Quote of the Episode: "Those children who felt a strong sense of belonging in high school experienced fewer mental health challenges in their 20s." Key Insights: School belonging impacts mental health well into the mid-20s Two key factors: one supportive adult and one friend at school Strong school belonging leads to better engagement and motivation Social connections act as a resource that helps accumulate more positive relationships Belonging increases resilience and ability to cope with stress Effects persist even when controlling for academic performance Parent involvement can significantly impact school belonging The impact goes beyond immediate happiness to long-term wellbeing Resources Mentioned: Monash University research study Associate Professor Kellyanne Allen's work US research on school belonging Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Partner with the School Open communication with teachers Advocate through school counsellors Support school initiatives and volunteer when possible Nurture Connections at Home Provide emotional support Help develop social skills Create opportunities for friendship building Champion Their Interests Encourage exploration of passions Celebrate strengths Support age-appropriate autonomy See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.