Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
Tony Santore
Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Jun 23, 2020 • 1h 58min
Coral Pink Sand Dunes Milkweed, Southern Utah Botany, Vertic Limestones, Shitting in Kyle's Firepit
(the intro song recording quality is horrible. Skip to 2:30 rather than leave me an obnoxious comment about it Fuckface). Coral Pink Sand Dunes Milkweed, Southern Utah Botany, Vertic Limestones, Shitting in Kyle's Firepit.Ten days studying the Floristics of the Colorado Plateau and Jurassic Sedimentary Rocks, we take a look at the genera of Fabaceae here including Pediomelum, Sophora, Peteria, etc. We also enjoy some time in Central Nevada with a milkweed named after renowned botanist Alice Eastwood (a botanical gangster if the ever was one)
Jun 12, 2020 • 1h 41min
Phantom Orchids & Sneaking to the Botanic Garden
Rants about Cephalanthera austiniae, the phantom orchid, and disjunct populations of Opuntia fragilis. Sneaking in to the Botanic garden after hours. This podcast sponsored by Eucerin.
May 17, 2020 • 1h 39min
Propagation as a Means of Refraining From Homicide
90 minutes of ranting on plant propagation, metabolism, and Chiranthodendron pentadactylon from the chocolate subfamily of the Mallow Family.
May 1, 2020 • 2h 17min
A Conversation with Matt Candeais
Matt Candeais is a botanist from Buffalo, New York, currently residing in Illinois and working on his PhD. He is the man behind the In Defense of Plants "podcast.
Apr 17, 2020 • 2h 16min
"I Was a Teenage Eco-Fascist"
A thirty minute rant mocking the "eco-fascist" chant among science-blind social theorists and leftwing bloggers (why do fellow lefties not criticize these nitwits?), Sonoran Desert Parasites, Mojave Euphoria during a pandemic, Desert Tortoises, Orocopia Sage, etc. Email crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt@gmail.com to complain or send unsolicited, un-pleasant nudes.
Apr 1, 2020 • 1h 31min
Pandemic Southwest Botany
Join us as we take a look at some limestone endemics of Death Valley and then Gypsum endemics of Nevada and Utah. Learn why the state of Arizona is akin to a "people of Walmart" calendar. Arctomecon humilis, Pediocactus sileri, Astragalus holmgreniorum, Diplacus rupicola, toilet humor and rants against cows.
Mar 11, 2020 • 1h 48min
A Conversation with Matt Ritter
A real nice conversation with Matt Ritter, an author and professor at California Polytechnic State University about botany, plant ecology, human society in which we also wax philosophical about a wide variety of topics and what the shit.
Mar 7, 2020 • 1h 55min
Coronavirus & Sunflowers
An astute comparison of adaptative radiations in Asteraceae with the novel coronavirus COVID-19. Plus, Carl Zimmer kicks Mike Pence in the cock. 90 minutes of rambling with Isaac Lichter, and why coming out of the closet drives the quality of one's art and writing to hell.
Mar 7, 2020 • 1h 55min
Coronavirus & Sunflowers
An astute comparison of adaptative radiations in Asteraceae with the novel coronavirus COVID-19. Plus, Carl Zimmer kicks Mike Pence in the cock. 90 minutes of rambling with Isaac Lichter, and why coming out of the closet drives the quality of one's art and writing to hell.
Feb 13, 2020 • 1h 35min
Parasitic conifers & Amborella(New Caledonia 2)
This is the second episode on New Caledonian botany, with continued fanatic ranting on the wonders of ultramafic geology and botany as well as musings on the futility of eating jackfruit and the pondering of what Dengue Fever must feel like.
