Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
Tony Santore
Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Apr 17, 2020 • 2h 16min
"I Was a Teenage Eco-Fascist"
A thirty minute rant mocking the "eco-fascist" chant among science-blind social theorists and leftwing bloggers (why do fellow lefties not criticize these nitwits?), Sonoran Desert Parasites, Mojave Euphoria during a pandemic, Desert Tortoises, Orocopia Sage, etc. Email crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt@gmail.com to complain or send unsolicited, un-pleasant nudes.
Apr 1, 2020 • 1h 31min
Pandemic Southwest Botany
Join us as we take a look at some limestone endemics of Death Valley and then Gypsum endemics of Nevada and Utah. Learn why the state of Arizona is akin to a "people of Walmart" calendar. Arctomecon humilis, Pediocactus sileri, Astragalus holmgreniorum, Diplacus rupicola, toilet humor and rants against cows.
Mar 11, 2020 • 1h 48min
A Conversation with Matt Ritter
A real nice conversation with Matt Ritter, an author and professor at California Polytechnic State University about botany, plant ecology, human society in which we also wax philosophical about a wide variety of topics and what the shit.
Mar 7, 2020 • 1h 55min
Coronavirus & Sunflowers
An astute comparison of adaptative radiations in Asteraceae with the novel coronavirus COVID-19. Plus, Carl Zimmer kicks Mike Pence in the cock. 90 minutes of rambling with Isaac Lichter, and why coming out of the closet drives the quality of one's art and writing to hell.
Mar 7, 2020 • 1h 55min
Coronavirus & Sunflowers
An astute comparison of adaptative radiations in Asteraceae with the novel coronavirus COVID-19. Plus, Carl Zimmer kicks Mike Pence in the cock. 90 minutes of rambling with Isaac Lichter, and why coming out of the closet drives the quality of one's art and writing to hell.
Feb 13, 2020 • 1h 35min
Parasitic conifers & Amborella(New Caledonia 2)
This is the second episode on New Caledonian botany, with continued fanatic ranting on the wonders of ultramafic geology and botany as well as musings on the futility of eating jackfruit and the pondering of what Dengue Fever must feel like.
Feb 2, 2020 • 1h 39min
New Caledonia, Disjointed Ranting, Conifer Dungeons, Biogeography of Southern Hemisphere Lineages, Mosquitoes
Did I contract Dengue Fever yesterday on Moo Mountain whilst hiking to a relict population of Araucaria humboldtensis? Was New Caledonia submerged for 20 million years and then recolonized by numerous ancient lineages of plants? Will I be broke after returning from my visit here?
Jan 2, 2020 • 3h 3min
Plant Breeding, Fern Sex, Dark Humor, South Africa, A Conversation with Martin Grantham
A conversation with a botanical wizard, explorer, conservationist, and plant propagator, my friend the illustrious Martin Grantham. 3 hrs long but worth a listen. We explore comedic misanthropy, a brief analysis of the human condition, our behavioral affinities with violent chimps, Fern sex and how they do it, South African flora, and the idea that one does not really know plants until they've grown them.
Dec 25, 2019 • 2h 13min
Chilean Fog Deserts, Biogeographical Islands, Nolana Diversity, Candy Diets
2 hours of pontificating on the beauty of fog deserts plus pondering how the fuck Sheriff Woody is able to hike 1,000 miles on a diet of candy and potato chips. Eriosyce recondita and cactus poachers, lomas formations, Fog islands brought to you by the Humboldt Current plus rants on shoulder surgery and the killing of street rats by Lewy.
Nov 30, 2019 • 1h 37min
Botanizing Deserts on Foot with Sheriff Woody
A conversation with an expert plant explorer in a fleabag hotel room in Arica, Chile.
