

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
Tony Santore
Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jul 13, 2021 • 1h 43min
Yellowstone Botany & Wyoming Rare Plants
Plants that grow on sinter (silica) and travertine (calcium carbonate) deposits of hot springs, a really bizarre central Wyoming endemic known from only two locations (Yermo xanthocephalus) whose closest relatives occur in the prairies of the Midwest, and many other topics plus the usual 90 minutes of unattenuated disjointed ranting.

Jul 5, 2021 • 1h 46min
Hiking Through The Great Basin w/ Matt Berger
In this episode we have an hour long conversation with Matt Berger about a loop "trail" (there actually was no trail save for that created by wild horses) created through the mountain ranges of the Great Basin in Central Nevada and the plans seen along the way along with information on how anybody can do these long-distance hikes (especially when everything else in life has gone to shit).Follow Matt on Instagram @sheriff_woody_pct and on Inaturalist via username Sheriff_Woody_PCT

Jun 30, 2021 • 1h 42min
Buckwheats and Bail Bonds
This episode begins with a 56 minute rant concerning the crime spree caused by the meeting of the Eriogonum Society in Elko, Nevada, followed by rants on the silica "sinter" deposits occurring throughout Nothern Nevada as a result of the intermittent series of hot springs and geothermal activity, which are in turn a result of the extensional tectonics and the fact that Reno and Salt Lake City are moving away from each other and the crust is stretching and thinning. The last seven minutes before our conversation with Ben Grady starts include a rant on illegal squatted gardens and how activists and anarchists tend to consistently be some of the cheapest people on the planet.

Jun 22, 2021 • 2h 20min
The Nitty Gritty of DNA sequencing to understand Plant Evolution
In this episode we speak with Bruce Baldwin about sequencing the DNA of plants to understand how closely we're distantly related they are and how they have evolved. At least an initial understanding, no matter how small, of how DNA is structured will help you understand this podcast but is not necessary. The first 40 minutes are just ranting anyway. Your contributions support this content. To support Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't, consider donating a few bucks to the venmo account "societyishell" or the PayPal account email crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt@gmail.com... Or consider becoming a patreon supporter @ : https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt Buy some CPBBD merch (shirts, hats, hoodies n' what the shit) available for sale at : https://www.bonfire.com/store/crime-pays-but-botany-doesnt/ To purchase stickers, venmo twelve bucks to "societyishell" and leave your address in the comments. Plants ID questions or reading list suggestions can be sent to crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt@gmail.com Thanks, GFY.

Jun 11, 2021 • 1h 30min
20 Minutes of Rambling and 60 Minutes of Melastomataceae
In this episode we speak with Darin Penneys, Ph.D about his work with an incredibly diverse plant family that few in the temperate zones are familiar with - Melastomataceae. I first fell in love with this family when seeing some of the incredible diversity that it showed in the cloud forest of the Dominican Republic, and upon further inspection became enormously enamored and fascinated with it, and you should too, you prick. From an ecological and evolutionary standpoint this family in the same order as guava and eucalyptus will blow your mind, so get into it.

Jun 1, 2021 • 1h 26min
Arrests at the Buckwheat Conference, Chicago West Side Heroin Dissuasion, Lithium Sleazebag Deli Platters
In this episode of Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't we talk with Naomi Fraga about the devastation to be imposed on 90% of a rare plant's population and the mining company sleaze bags who are trying to greenwash it. We also talk about the BLM whistleblower who first brought attention to the mining company's attempts to circumvent environmental impact reports as well as the vandalism and subsequent rodent damage that occurred at this plant's population last year. Joey also rants about the first time he saw someone shoot heroin on the west side of Chicago in 1997. Within the first 20 minutes of the podcast Joey mentions the numerous arrests that have taken place at the Eriogonum Society's meetings due to its members' penchants for violence and street-fighting. We also discuss the first time that the Eriogonum Society was banned (for life) from Tejon Ranch for raising a gripe about their planned luxury housing development for the spiritually incompetent.

May 20, 2021 • 1h 22min
Milkweeds that Dupe Insects, Greenhouse Conservation, Customer Service Hell
In this episode we talk about milkweed plants that dupe kleptoparasitic flies into pollinating them, greenhouses and conservatories as bastions of ex-situ conservation, floral mimicry and bat pollination among members of the coffee family, and why customer service is a psychological experiment in human torture.

May 5, 2021 • 2h 8min
The Evolution & Ecology of Psilocybin
In this episode we speak with Dr. Jason Slot, Associate Professor at Ohio State University, who is a mycologist currently studying the evolution of psilocybin production in Fungi. The last half hour of the conversation focuses largely on mycorrhizal fungi. Some fascinating stuff in this conversation. For more info or to read more about the evolution and genomics of entheogens, check out : www.entheome.org

Apr 22, 2021 • 2h 13min
Back Inna Bay,Volcanic Carrots of Oregon, A conversation with Damon Tighe
Psilocybin Therapy, Woody tells us about Apiaceous endemics of the high desert, Damon Tighe tells us about observing fungi and insects and sexually transmitted ladybug diseases, growing oyster mushrooms on everything, and studying weordarine organisms of Lake Merritt.

Apr 9, 2021 • 1h 54min
Baker Cypress, Research Natural Areas, & A Conversation with Julie Kierstead
In this episode we ramble about a rare Northern California Cypress species known only from twelve populations and figure out just what the hell that spot on the map that says "Research Natural Area" means, with a bit of insight from Julie Kierstead, former Forest Service Botanist for the Shasta-Trinity National Forest who has identified 5 "new" species in Northern California which were previously unknown to science.


