

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
Tony Santore
Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jun 23, 2023 • 1h 35min
Geologic German Chocolate Summer Bash & Basalt Flows with Nick Zentner
Intro ends at 6:30Nick Zentner is a professor of geology at Central Washington University and host of a in-the-field geology YouTube Channel. He has numerous lectures available online at www.NickZentner.com and is based out of Ellensberg Washington.

Jun 21, 2023 • 1h 41min
Some Notable Remarks On New Zealand's Flora
This episode is basically a 90 minute rambling rant about New Zealand plants & plant ecology, where by a repeated fascination and fixation is expressed with the evolutionary selection pressures produced by a flora that co-evolved with 9 species of giant, flightless now-extinct birds called Moas. We also touch on new Zealand's tectonic forces, the predominant habitat type (Podocarp - Broadleaf Temperate Rainforest) as well as a bit of the volcanic alpine plants like Raoulia. We talk about Psilocybe diversity, the secotioid mushroom habit,and other fungal diversity to be found in these forests.

Jun 19, 2023 • 1h 12min
A Conversation About New Zealand Fungi
A conversation with my mycologist friend Alan Rockefeller about fungal diversity in New Zealand/Aotearoa, fungi with caps that don't open (which may be an adaptation to bird dispersal) and some of the weird complexity in the genus Psilocybe.

Jun 13, 2023 • 2h 13min
Heteroblasty Anonymous - A Conversation About New Zealand Plants
In this episode we have a 3 person conversation about the Flora of New Zealand, touching on such notable ecological and evolutionary characteristics among the plants here like leaf heteroblasty, leaf divarication, co-evolution with the now-extinct Moas, plate tectonics and vulcanism, how tropical plants have evolved for a chilly temperate rainforest, Jurassic lineages of conifers, the genus Pseudopanax, and all kind of other wild, cool sh*t.An interesting paper to read about heteroblasty and divaricating branch patterns : Howard, Jarden. "New Zealand divaricate plant species: Tensile strength and Remote Island occurrence." Journal of Austral Ecology. 2022

May 26, 2023 • 1h 54min
The Future of Peyote Conservation in South Texas
Intro ends at 15:03In this episode we interview Benny Villareal about his work with Peyote Conservation in South Texas and his history with the Native American Church, touching on the topics of Peyoteros, Land Clearance, Habitat Destruction as a result of sprawl, and obstacles conserving what is becoming a rapidly diminishing cactus species in the only place in the United States where it grows - the state of Texas.

May 14, 2023 • 1h 7min
Chonkosaurus & Chicago River Botanical Survey
Rants about Chonkosaurus, the Chicago River getting cleaned up, the bio-swales that UrbanRivers.org created along the river, Rooftop Graffiti Appreciation Committee, Redundant Praise for the Field Museum and the Plant Systematics Dungeon/Welwitschia mirabilis, How the smell of Cigarettes replaced the smell of piss in the Jackson St. CTA tunnel, etc.To purchase Chonkosaurus shirts go to www.crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt.myshopify.com

24 snips
Apr 27, 2023 • 1h 35min
90 minutes of Aroids with Tom Croat
In this episode we talk with Tom Croat of Missouri Botanical Garden, a world expert on Aroids and the family Araceae. Tom has been to over 130 countries studying this family and the immense amount of diversity in it, including their evolution, ecology, and pollination. We talk on all things Aroids, especially in the neotropics. The video accompanying this is available on the Patreon, www.Patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Apr 26, 2023 • 1h 12min
Kill Your Lawn Release, Sweat Ceremony, Chicago Museum Scam, etc
Rants about overpriced museums, crook county, kill your lawn release, Missouri Botanical Garden Aroid Dungeon, getting banned from places of prestige, sweat ceremony, sand endemics of Florida, pissing off prestigious turds in academia, etc.

Apr 18, 2023 • 1h 7min
Talking Florida Panhandle Plants in a Longleaf Pine Forest
Lillium Byrd is a Botanist with the Florida Native Plant Society. This conversation took place in a Longleaf Pine Forest while watching fireflies light up the canopy of the trees.

Apr 5, 2023 • 45min
A Conversation with Margaret Behan
Margaret Behan is an Arapahoe/Cheyenne member of the Native American Church, as well as one of the "13 Indigenous Grandmothers". In this episode we talk about Peyote Religion, people wanting a connection to plants and to the land they live on, hope for the young generations & the future of Lophophora williamsii and its connection to the Native people of North America.


