

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
Tony Santore
Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Nov 6, 2025 • 2h 24min
Black Forager : On Connecting with the Living World
Join Alexis Nicole Nelson, also known as Black Forager, a passionate forager and ethnobotanist communicator, as she dives into the world of native plants and ecological stewardship. She shares her journey from environmental engineering to community education and emphasizes the importance of connecting with nature through foraging and native landscaping. Alexis discusses the benefits of killing lawns for biodiversity, the ethics of foraging, and how we can turn grief for the environment into actionable community projects. Plus, get insights on her upcoming book and hands-on learning experiences!

Oct 30, 2025 • 2h 19min
Paleoforaging - The Ethnobotany of Some Central Texas Plants w/ Cyrus Harp
Cyrus Harp, an ethnobiologist and author from Central Texas, dives into the world of Indigenous plant uses. He discusses the medicinal and dye-making properties of Agarita and the ceremonial history of Mescal Beans. Cyrus shares his expertise in primitive skills like flintknapping and explains the edible potential of plants like Yucca and Agave. He also reveals traditional techniques for harvesting prickly pears and making sumacade. This conversation is a fascinating blend of nature, culture, and useful skills for foragers.

6 snips
Oct 27, 2025 • 1h 44min
How to Love a Forest - with Ethan Tapper
Ethan Tapper is a passionate forester and ecologist from Vermont, known for his advocacy of ecological forestry. In this intriguing discussion, he delves into the impacts of climate change on tick populations and shares his personal experiences with Lyme disease. Tapper highlights the importance of restoring degraded landscapes, like Bear Island, and the balance between wildlife and habitat management. He argues for a shift from exploitative practices to stewardship that nurtures ecosystems, emphasizing the long-term benefits of living machine management for our forests.

Oct 23, 2025 • 1h 59min
Florida Rants
*Rants about the fire-dependent sand scrub of Central Florida, some of the rarest, most unique and underappreciated plants of the world. The plant community here occurs in nutrient-poor, fire dependent sands that were the beachfront 2 million years ago. These plants evolved in a region that gets upwards of 60 in of rain of year but has a pronounced dry season between November and May. Even more astonishing is that so many of these plants are under immediate threat of extinction due to fire suppression, land clearance and an orgy of development tied to political corruption and the coziness with which Florida developers court the politicians. The end rant consists of a ten minute assault on the city of Orlando, also known as "Satan's Anus".Ad-Free episodes of the podcast are available on the Crime Pays patreon at https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Oct 3, 2025 • 2h 7min
KYL LIVE @ the Hideout
A live show originally recorded at The Hideout in Chicago on September 13th 2025. First 4 minutes got cut off accidentally by the sound guy, who otherwise did a great job (the sd card f*cked up, it wasn't his fault). On that note, I mistakenly refer to Artemisia ludoviciana when I meant Artemisia vulgaris. full episodes of this podcast are available ad free on the Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Sep 28, 2025 • 1h 34min
KYL Tour Rants 25
Rants about KILL YOUR LAWN tour in the Midwest, River Geography, Hemp Farms in Wisconsin, Prairies, Bison, upset affluent suburban ladies in St Paul, horticultural atrocities, Lincoln vs Omaha Nebraska, Feral Paht and more.Thanks to the all the venues that put us up and thanks to everyone who came out for the shows/presentations in Milwaukee, St Paul, Omaha, Lincoln, Kansas City, Omaha, Lincoln and the Quad Cities.As Always, Ad-Free Episodes of the podcast are available on the Patrol for 5 bucks a month at : https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Sep 21, 2025 • 1h 26min
Chicago Coyotes, Prairie Psychedelia, Landscape Architects
Ad-Free episodes of the podcast are available on the Patreon at www.patreon/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Sep 5, 2025 • 43min
Trouble in the Food Forest
In this engaging discussion, Lilly Anderson-Messec, a native plant ecologist, delves into the intricacies of permaculture and invasion biology. She explores the gaps in ecological education that lead to denial of invasion science and highlights the importance of native ecosystems. Lilly criticizes the consumerist tendencies shaping plant choices and argues for a focus on local knowledge and foraging. She warns against the long-term ecological harm posed by non-natives, urging a return to cultivating native foods that have rich ethnobotanical histories.

Sep 3, 2025 • 2h 15min
"Spiritual Remedies of Nuevo León"
In this episode (after a 30 minute societal rant) we talk about Dioon edule and cycads of the foothills of the Sierra Madre, why hemiparasitic members of the paintbrush family frequently have red leaves, Mexican Oak Diversity, Tillandsia usneoides in Oak woodlands, Calochortus marcellae, Malacomeles denticulata ecotypes, why Crotalus morulus (Tamaulipan Rock Rattlesnake) possibly one of the coolest members of the genusAd-Free Episodes of the Crime Pays podcast are available on the Patreon at : https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt FLORA OF NUEVO LEON CHECKLIST PDF : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ukTNSvThl65KUlKpm0wLzUTRklvZiBc_/view?usp=drive_linkCONCRETE BOTANY (Out April 2026) PRE-ORDER : https://geni.us/ConcreteBotany

6 snips
Aug 26, 2025 • 2h
Adam Haritan from Learn Your Land
This episode is a conversation with Adam Haritan from the youtube channel Learn Your Land, which covres a diverse variety of topics related to the ecology of Eastern North American Forests - Fungi, Plants, Insects, & more. In this episode we talk about how fire suppression has caused an explosion in tick populations, along with a multitude of other factors. We also discuss medicinal mushrooms of Eastern North America, surviving stands of American Chestnuts, the importance of geology, and how Paw Paw trees might be neurotoxic. We also talk about how humans having a connection to (and knowledge of) the land that they live on is a matter of existential health, almost more so than anything else. Adam's been producing the Learn Your Land youtube channel for ten years and has an extensive library of videos about a diversity of topics, and unlike me, he doesn't curse like a madman so his videos are appropriate for all ages. Please check the youtube (especially the tick episode!) and go down a wormhole. Also check out www.learnyourland.com for more info on what he does, a link to his onlince courses, and a list of the videos he's done.All episodes of the Crime Pays But Botany Doesnt podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at :https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt


