

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
Tony Santore
Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jan 28, 2026 • 1h 31min
Rants about the Texas Caper, Abuelitas Hating Nature, Asphalt Heat Islands, etc
Ad-free episodes of the CPBBD podcast can be heard at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntIn this episode we talk about South Texas Development, remnant thorn forests surrounded by McMansions, the Asphalt Heat Island, the South Texas Caper (Quadrella incana, Caper Family - Capparaceae, Mustard Order - Brassicales), grannies that hate street trees Crime Pays fan appreciation, Fighting City Hall for native scapes, general societal ignorance regarding the living world, Jack faking his own death in order to eat more hot dogs and more.

Jan 20, 2026 • 1h 25min
Rants about Tree Planting, the Urban Heat Island, Etc
Ad-free episodes of the podcast can be enjoyed on the crime pays Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntOpening song is about Jerry Falwell.

Dec 13, 2025 • 1h 17min
Estado de Hidalgo Rants
Rants about the plant life of the state of Hidalgo Mexico, including but not limited to Cephalocereus senilis, Fouquieria fasciculata, Fouquieria purpusii, Magnolia scheidiana, obsidian piles, and more. All episodes of The Crime Pace podcast are available for ad-free listening on the Patreon at : https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntMexico Plants Checklist : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1a5GcJ39ysO_n2XbsazLZeyF9H1wDi4Zx/view?usp=drivesdkDiversidad Floristica Oaxaca : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-EXwZV3FOd5sahIE2wlnUmqN_JcLC4bB/view?usp=drivesdk

Dec 5, 2025 • 1h 12min
San Luis Potosí Rants
In this episode we rant about cacti that grow in ephemeral lagoons, 1500 year old Montezuma Cypresses, cryptic cacti that grow in salty mud basins, Mexican Jays dispersing weeping pinion pine seeds, a fern that grows out of marble, how the summer-wet/winter-dry habit affects some carnivorous plant forms, and more...Reminder that episodes of this podcast are available ad-free on the Crime Pays Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Nov 24, 2025 • 1h 38min
Climate Town with Rollie Williams
Ad-Free episodes of the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't podcast are available on the Patreon atwww.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntRollie Williams is host of the youtube series "Climate Town". In this episode, we talk about "supplying demand" Capitalism, the Oil Lobby, why certain interests are just so dang good at propaganda, how the CEOs became the heroes and the scientists became the bad guys, palm oil plantations, ethanol, government-sponsored cheese caves and more.

Nov 15, 2025 • 1h 54min
Please Don't "Save the (honey)Bees"
Reed Booth, an experienced killer-bee exterminator from Bisbee, Arizona, joins the conversation to discuss the notorious scutellata hybrid, or killer bees, and their aggressive nature. He explains how these hybrids dominate native bee populations and harm biodiversity. The duo emphasizes the risks of backyard beekeeping, highlighting misconceptions about honeybees versus native pollinators. They share gripping stories of dangerous bee encounters and stress the importance of professional hive removals to protect both people and the environment.

7 snips
Nov 11, 2025 • 2h 11min
Native Bee Diversity w/ Krystle Hickman
Krystle Hickman, a biologist and native bee researcher from Los Angeles, dives into the fascinating world of native bees. She discusses the incredible diversity found in California deserts, how bees and flowers co-evolve, and practical tips for identifying different bee species. Krystle highlights the importance of native plants in agriculture, the competition between honeybees and natives, and offers insights into community science. Plus, she shares her macro photography techniques for capturing these essential pollinators in action!

Nov 6, 2025 • 2h 24min
Black Forager : On Connecting with the Living World
Join Alexis Nicole Nelson, also known as Black Forager, a passionate forager and ethnobotanist communicator, as she dives into the world of native plants and ecological stewardship. She shares her journey from environmental engineering to community education and emphasizes the importance of connecting with nature through foraging and native landscaping. Alexis discusses the benefits of killing lawns for biodiversity, the ethics of foraging, and how we can turn grief for the environment into actionable community projects. Plus, get insights on her upcoming book and hands-on learning experiences!

Oct 30, 2025 • 2h 19min
Paleoforaging - The Ethnobotany of Some Central Texas Plants w/ Cyrus Harp
Cyrus Harp, an ethnobiologist and author from Central Texas, dives into the world of Indigenous plant uses. He discusses the medicinal and dye-making properties of Agarita and the ceremonial history of Mescal Beans. Cyrus shares his expertise in primitive skills like flintknapping and explains the edible potential of plants like Yucca and Agave. He also reveals traditional techniques for harvesting prickly pears and making sumacade. This conversation is a fascinating blend of nature, culture, and useful skills for foragers.

6 snips
Oct 27, 2025 • 1h 44min
How to Love a Forest - with Ethan Tapper
Ethan Tapper is a passionate forester and ecologist from Vermont, known for his advocacy of ecological forestry. In this intriguing discussion, he delves into the impacts of climate change on tick populations and shares his personal experiences with Lyme disease. Tapper highlights the importance of restoring degraded landscapes, like Bear Island, and the balance between wildlife and habitat management. He argues for a shift from exploitative practices to stewardship that nurtures ecosystems, emphasizing the long-term benefits of living machine management for our forests.


