
The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk
Leaders are learners. The best leaders never stop working to make themselves better. The Learning Leader Show Is series of conversations with the world's most thoughtful leaders. Entrepreneurs, CEO's, World-Class Athletes, Coaches, Best-Selling Authors, and much more.
Latest episodes

Mar 7, 2022 • 1h 14min
462: Max Lugavere - How To Become Smarter, Happier, & More Productive While Protecting Your Brain for Life
Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday" Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12 https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Max Lugavere is the author of the New York Times best-seller Genius Foods: Become Smarter, Happier, and More Productive While Protecting Your Brain for Life. He appears regularly on the Dr. Oz Show, the Rachael Ray Show, and The Doctors. His latest book is called Genius Kitchen - Over 100 Easy & Delicious Recipes to make your brain sharp, body strong, and taste buds happy. "A healthy person has 100 wishes. A sick person has 1." This subject became personal for Max when his mother, Kathy, was given a diagnosis of dementia, and he devoted himself to her care. She died in 2018. “Now that Mom is gone, I am even more obsessed with the topic.” Shop in the perimeter of the supermarket. Reach for nutrient-dense foods. Lifestyle changes that will 10x the quality of your life: Getting 8-9 hours of sleep instead of 4-6 Eating more animal protein (especially beef and eggs) Less cardio, more strength training Regular heat (sauna) and cold (ice bath/cold shower) stress Daily sunlight Intermittent fasting – instead of eating 16 hours a day, eat 8. Drinking caffeine is “taking a loan out on energy from later in the day?” – Cortisol peaks in the AM. Wait 45 minutes after you wake up to drink caffeine. Stop drinking caffeine from time to time so that your body can reset. Willpower is a finite resource. Create your environment to make good decisions. Whole Foods - 3 Things to think about: Protein - #1 satiating piece. Greek yogurt, beef jerky, eggs Fiber - It stretches out your stomach. Helps fill you up. Greens, broccoli, whole fruit. Water - Get hydrated. Supplements - Protein shakes. Whey isolate. He uses muscle feast. Most bread is not useful. It's ultra-processed food. Alcohol - Most wine has a lot of sugar. Most alcohol does. Max drinks tequila. Wake up, hydrate... "I’m up somewhere between 7 and 8. I don’t use an alarm clock. I go straight into the kitchen and drink a tall glass of room-temperature water. I may sprinkle a bit of mineral salt in it which replenishes electrolytes." Light... Air... "Whether it’s winter or summer, I go out onto my terrace and do a few minutes of deep breathing, stretching, and meditation. I’m a big believer in getting in natural light in the morning because it aligns my circadian rhythm for the day.

Feb 28, 2022 • 1h 1min
461: Brad Meltzer - How To Tell Your Story, Respond From Rejection, & Love Your Work
Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday" Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12 https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Brad Meltzer is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Inner Circle, The Book of Fate, and ten other bestselling thrillers. He also writes non-fiction books like The First Conspiracy, about a secret plot to kill George Washington – and the Ordinary People Change the World kids book series. His newest thriller, The Escape Artist, debuted at #1 on the bestseller list. Brad is also responsible for helping find the missing 9/11 flag that the firefighters raised at Ground Zero, making national news on the 15th anniversary of 9/11. Former President George H.W. Bush also gave Brad, for the very first time, the secret letter he left for President Bill Clinton in the Oval Office desk. If you need a good cry, read this story about Brad reading to President Bush before he died. The Hollywood Reporter put him on their list of the 25 Most Powerful Authors, and he’s been asked to serve as a member of the America250 Council, to celebrate the upcoming 250th birthday of the country. Notes: “Stories aren’t the beauty of what did happen. They’re the beauty of what could happen.” “For me, Superman's greatest contribution has never been the superhero part: it's the Clark Kent part - the idea that any of us, in all our ordinariness, can change the world.” The 3 things he tells his kids each night when he tucks them into bed: Dream Big - Young people have the biggest and best dreams. Work Hard - Your first book got 24 rejection letters. And in your TED Talk, you share the story of your Dad and how hard he worked (maybe open with this?). When you were writing your 9th book, your book of heroes for your soon. A story about The Wright Brothers… Every time The Wright Brothers would go out to fly their plane, they would bring enough extra materials for multiple crashes. Every time they went out, they knew they would fail. And they would crash and rebuild, and crash and rebuild. And that’s why they took off. Stay Humble - Noone likes a jerk. When Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, he never took credit for it. It was announced when he died and it was in his obituary. All history ever is, is a bunch of stories. How to change history, all you have to do is write your story. History is a selection process. It chooses every single one of us, every single day. You will change history. “Brad’s meticulous research and interviews with top-level government sources — including U.S. Presidents — fill each page with authenticity and make his characters come alive.” His belief is that ordinary people change the world. It is that core belief that runs through every one of his projects. How to respond from rejection? Brad’s first book was rejected 24 times… And then later that book went on to become a bestseller. As a culture, we're starving for heroes “We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day.” “There's nothing more intimate in life than simply being understood. And understanding someone else.” “In this world, there was nothing scarier than trusting someone. But there was also nothing more rewarding.” “No matter how far we come, our parents are always in us.” “The worst lies in life are the ones we tell ourselves.” From Brad's book to his daughter: “As your father, my instinct is to protect you ... Other people will want to protect you too. But remember that you are not a damsel in distress, waiting for some prince to rescue you. Forget the prince. With your brain and your resourcefulness, you can rescue yourself.” “You need to understand something... In this world, we're not humans having a divine experience. We're divine beings having a human experience.”

Feb 21, 2022 • 1h 1min
460: Jane McGonigal - How To See The Future & Be Ready For Anything
Text HAWK to 66866 for "Mindful Monday" Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12 https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Jane McGonigal, PhD is a world-renowned designer of alternate reality games — or, games that are designed to improve real lives and solve real problems. She believes game designers are on a humanitarian mission — and her #1 goal in life is to see a game developer win a Nobel Peace Prize. She is a two-time New York Times bestselling author: Reality is Broken: Why Games Make Us Better and How They Can Change the World and SuperBetter: The Power of Living Gamefully. Her TED talks on how games can make a better world and the game that can give you 10 extra years of life, are among the all-time most popular TED talks, and have more than 15 million views. Jane dedicates this book to her sister Kelly... "who lives six minutes in the future." They are twins. "It's so helpful having her. If she can achieve something (TED Talks, Books), I could do it too." Being able to predict the future is not enough. You have to be bale to pre-feel it. Write down your long term plans. "Talk about a world you want to wake up in." "Any useful idea about the future should sound rediculous initially." "The best way to predict the future is to invent it." How to think like a futurist? In the corporate world... Carve out a role for yourself to fight short-terminism. Fight short term thinking. Play the long game. Create future planning habits in your organization. Dare to daydream. Take ownership - Create moments of joy... Be of service to others. A 30 second practical activity: Imagine 10 years from now... Where are you? What woke you up? Who are you with? The 3 questions to give you a baseline sense of your “future mindset” When you think about the next 10 years, do you think things will mostly stay the same and go on as normal? Or do you expect that most of us will dramatically rethink and reinvent how we do things? When you think about how the world and your life will change over the next 10 years, are you mostly worried or mostly optimistic? How much control or influence do you feel you personally have in determining how the world and your life change over the next 10 years? How to predict the future? Unstick your mind Think The Unthinkable Imagine the Unimaginable Imaginable - How to see the future coming and feel ready for anything– even things that seem impossible today One of the issues that cause depression is it doesn’t allow you to imagine a future. For us as leaders, we need to be able to imagine a positive future for ourselves and our team. Be a spotlight for other people’s good ideas. Bring attention to it. Be known as someone who spreads positive gossip Living in the present. Giannis – "When you focus on the past, that's your ego... And when I focus on the future it's my pride... And I kind of like to focus in the moment, in the present. And that's humility. That's being humble."

Feb 14, 2022 • 1h
459: Josh Peck - Using Humor To Connect, Making The Big Ask, & The Power Of Vulnerability
Josh Peck, an actor and comedian best known for his role in 'Drake & Josh,' shares his journey from feeling insecure as a child to harnessing humor as a powerful tool for connection. He discusses how his first real laugh ignited his passion for comedy and emphasizes vulnerability's role in effective communication. Peck reflects on the importance of resilience and service to others in both life and career, highlighting how asking for opportunities can lead to transformative experiences. His insights are both heartfelt and hilarious, making for a captivating conversation.

Feb 7, 2022 • 1h 1min
458: Gary Burnison - The Five Graces Of Life & Leadership (CEO of Korn Ferry)
Read my new book: The Pursuit Of Excellence https://bit.ly/excellencebulk Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday" Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12 https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Gary Burnison is the CEO of Korn Ferry. Under his leadership, Korn Ferry has been transformed into a global organizational consulting firm with nearly 9,000 colleagues. Burnison is the author of seven leadership and career development books, including a New York Times bestseller. Notes: In his early days as a CEO, a member of Gary's board who was mentoring him, looked him in the eye and said, “I don’t just want you to be successful—I am going to ensure that you are successful.” Gary was moved by words. Looking back now, he sees that moment as a gift of grace. How he built a career from an entry-level worker to the CEO of a 9,000 person company: Humility and hustle drive careers forward To learn, you must be humble and self-aware. Hiring decisions: "I higher for hunger over pedigree." The Five Graces of Leadership: Gratitude―the attitude that elevates our spirits, boosts morale, and lifts our hearts Resilience―the quality that allows us to achieve beyond our wildest dreams Aspiration―the knowledge that we can make tomorrow better than today Courage―the ability to understand and move beyond our fears Empathy―the understanding needed to connect with others from their perspectives The most impactful leaders have four key skills: Adaptability: Being comfortable with unanticipated changes and diverse situations; being able to adjust to constraints and rebound from adversity. Curiosity: Approaching problems in novel ways; seeing patterns and understanding how to synthesize complex information; having the desire to achieve a deep understanding of things. Detail-oriented: Having the ability to systematically carry out tasks as assigned, with an understanding of the procedures and the importance of exactitude. Tolerance of ambiguity: Being comfortable with uncertainty and willing to make decisions and plans in the face of incomplete information “In today’s world, leadership is all about establishing community and connectivity so everyone can be part of something bigger than themselves.” “To have the grace to create this kind of leadership, we need greater self-awareness and genuine connection to others – particularly in this hybrid work environment where connections are increasingly more challenging to come by.” The #1 predictor of a candidate being effective? Learning agility "Humility is key for lifelong learning." Gary wrote a book called, "Lose The Resume, Land The Job." - Target the opportunity you want. Work to earn a warm introduction. A day in the life as the CEO of Korn Ferry: "You suddenly stop being a person and you start being a function." "Leadership is about inspiring others to believe." How he earned the role of CEO: Continuity helped (he was already working at the company) Vision, purpose, "the why," and the 4 or 5 parts of the strategy laid out moving forward When you're going for a VP role: Make sure it is a fit for you You are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you Have purpose and passion for the role Why Gary writes so much: "It's therapeutic for me." He likes to write with others to learn from them and gain clarity. "I like to get their point of view and listen to them." How he's built confidence: It comes from life experiences. When Gary was 11 years old, he lived in the middle of Kansas. The moving vans showed up and took their furniture away. His family went bankrupt. In times of crisis, it's critical for the leader to step up.

11 snips
Jan 31, 2022 • 1h 1min
457: Ken Blanchard - Creating Magical Moments, Building Trust, & Simple Truths Of Leadership
Read my new book, The Pursuit Of Excellence https://bit.ly/excellencehawk Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday" Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12 https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Dr. Ken Blanchard is one of the most influential leadership experts in the world and is respected for his years of groundbreaking work in the fields of leadership and management. He's written 60+ published books... Most notably, The One Minute Manager has sold over 15 million copies. Notes: T he One Minute Manager: 1 Minute goals – All struggles go back to one simple thing: communication. Set 3 goals for each employee. Write each of them down in 350 words or less. 1 Minute praisings (“catch people doing the right things”) – Do this immediately following good work. Don’t wait (you might forget). Be specific in your praise. 1 Minute reprimands (later changed to 1 Minute re-directs) - Address this immediately after it happens. Be very specific. "Teach people the power of love instead of the love of power." "Life is what happens to you when you're planning on doing something else." What made The One Minute Manager catch on? It was a parable. Those were rare at that time. It was a short book. A quick read. He started his company in 1979. Charles Schwab told him to name the company after himself... Thus, "The Ken Blanchard Companies" was started. It helped that YPO adopted them quickly. "All good performance starts with clear goals." Create magical moments – For his wife, Margie’s 80th birthday party, They rented a big house in Hawaii for a week surrounded by the people they love. How can you create magical moments? Ken has written 65 books... Only 2 of them by himself. He likes to write with others. Profit is the applause you get for creating a great environment for your people. Expectations: You get what you expect. Humility - Be there to serve others. Humility does not mean you think less of yourself. It means you think of yourself less. Connect the dots between individual roles and the goals of the organization. When people see that connection, they get a lot of energy out of work. They feel the importance, dignity, and meaning in their job. Leadership is not something you do to people. It's something you do with people. Vision is knowing who you are, where you're going, and what will guide your journey. "Many people measure their success by wealth, recognition, power, and status. There's nothing wrong with those, but if that's all you're focused on, you're missing the boat...if you focus on significance -using your time and talent to serve others -that's when truly meaningful success can come your way.: If becoming a high-performing organization is the destination, leadership is the engine. Sustained excellence: They realize it's not all about them They have a sense of humor They listen more than they speak Feedback is the breakfast of champions Get to D4 -- The highest level of development: Competent and Committed. Life/Career Advice: Be a lifetime learner Look for good leaders... Ask them to lunch

Jan 24, 2022 • 1h 5min
456: Daniel Pink - How Looking Backwards Moves Us Forward (The Power Of Regret)
Read my new book, The Pursuit of Excellence https://bit.ly/excellencehawk Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12 https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday" Daniel H. Pink is the author of seven books, including the forthcoming The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward (Riverhead, 2022). His other books include the New York Times bestsellers When and A Whole New Mind — as well as the #1 New York Times bestsellers Drive and To Sell is Human. Dan’s books have won multiple awards, have been translated into 42 languages, and have sold millions of copies around the world. Notes: The truth: We regret inactions much more than actions.The lesson: Be bold. Take that chance. In a world full of talkers, be a doer. Have a bias for action. The 3 keys to a productive achiever: empathy/compassion, curiosity, doggedness (consistency). We overvalue intensity and undervalue consistency and doggedness. Continue to show up and do the work. The four core regrets: Foundation regrets - People want stability. (save money, plan for the future) Boldness regrets - "If only I'd taken that chance." People regret not taking the chance. Moral regrets Connection regrets The truth: We deeply regret not asserting ourselves. The lesson: Speak up. Optimizing Regret: Our goal should not be to always minimize regret. Our goal should be to optimize it. By combining the science of anticipated regret with the new deep structure of regret, we can refine our mental model. “Regret makes me human. Regret makes me better. Regret gives me hope.” This is a great exercise. Instead of a New Year's resolution, choose a single word to guide your 2022. After 2 years of upheaval, it can help you focus on the goals & changes most important to you. Dan's choice? Restore. The Dan Pink family acronym: HAHU - Hustle. Anticipate. Heads up. Big life decisions: Maximizers and satisficers Know when to maximize and when to satisfy. For low stakes decisions (the color of your car), you don't have to maximize Regret is part of the human condition. We all have regrets. Disclose it. Lift the burden. Someone that says they have "No Regrets" is either lying or they are a sociopath. Disclose lessons from your regrets. Ask yourself, "What did I learn from it?" Does everything happen for a reason? The lesson to be learned from it is understanding what we have control over and what we don't. Regret depends on storytelling. And that raises a question: In these stories, are we the creator or the character, the playwright or the performer? The answer is... YES. We are both. We are both the authors and the actors. We can shape the plot but not fully. We can toss aside the script but not always. We live at the intersection of free will and circumstance. "Our everyday lives consist of hundreds of decisions—some of them crucial to our well-being, many of them inconsequential. Understanding the difference can make all the difference. If we know what we truly regret, we know what we truly value. Regret— that maddening, perplexing, and undeniably real emotion—points the way to a life well-lived." Career/Life advice: Doggedness is important. Be a person of action. Be willing to try stuff. "We learn who we are in practice, not in theory." Doing something helps you figure it out.

14 snips
Jan 17, 2022 • 1h 4min
455: Oliver Burkeman - How To Think About Productivity... Time Management For Mortals (4,000 Weeks)
Read my new book, The Pursuit Of Excellence https://bit.ly/excellencehawk Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday" Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12 https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Oliver Burkeman is the author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management For Mortals. It's a book that has become an international best-seller. The final person Oliver thanked in his book? His grandmother: “My dear grandmother Erica Burkeman, whose childhood departure from Nazi Germany I describe in chapter 7, died in 2019 at the age of 96. I don’t know whether she would have read this book, but she would definitely have told everyone she met that I had written it.” The average human lifespan is absurdly, insultingly brief. If you live to be 80, you’ll have had about 4,000 weeks. But that’s no reason for despair. Confronting our radical finitude – and how little control we really have – is the key to a fulfilling and meaningfully productive life. When someone close to you dies, Oliver writes, “Such experiences, however wholly unwelcome, often appear to leave those who undergo them in a new and more honest relationship with time. The question is whether we might attain at least a little of that same outlook in the absence of the experience of the agonizing loss.” When stumped by a life choice, choose “enlargement” over happiness. Don’t ask: Will this make me happy?”, but “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?” The future will never provide the reassurance you seek from it. (This is why it’s wrong to say we live in especially uncertain times. The future is always uncertain; it’s just that we’re currently very aware of it.) Embrace radical incrementalism - People who work a little bit every day tend to cultivate the patience it takes to get good. Oliver tells the old parable about a vacationing New York businessman who meets a Mexican fisherman… The capacity to tolerate minor discomfort is a superpower. The solution to imposter syndrome is to see that you are one - Everyone is totally “winging it.” The lesson to be drawn isn’t that we’re doomed to chaos. It’s that you – unconfident, self-conscious, all-too-aware-of-your-flaws – potentially have as much to contribute to your field, or the world, as anyone else. The original Latin word for “decide” was decidere which means “to cut off” as in slicing away alternatives. The sooner you welcome uncertainty and not knowing as normal ways of being, the better off you’ll be. People who work a little bit every day tend to cultivate the patience it takes to get good. These people also quit their day’s work when it’s finished: they identify what their chunk of time or task is per day, they do that and only that, and save more for tomorrow. “More often than not, originality lies on the far side of unoriginality.” To illustrate this point, Burkeman uses The Helsinki Bus Station Theory. As the photographer Arno Minkkinen explained, Helsinki bus lines start out traveling the same path but then diverge at different points in the route, spreading out to far and wide locales. When you find your work resembles someone else’s, or you’re on someone else’s bus, traveling someone else’s path, don’t try to go back to the bus station at the very beginning and completely reinvent yourself and start from scratch, keep working and “stay on the bus!” At a certain point, your path will split off into something new. The central challenge of time management isn’t becoming more efficient, but deciding what to neglect. In an accelerating world, patience – letting things take the time they take – is a superpower. In conditions of limitless choice, burning your bridges beats keeping your options open. The need to control events is unhelpful. There is too much uncertainty for that. Is "follow your passion" good advice? Find something you're good at instead. Do things "daily-ish" Harness the power of patience as a force for daily life. Relish the value of consistency. Goal setting: "We are incapable of living goalless lives." With that said, "a plan is just a thought." Excellence: A willingness to accept the truth of their present situation and not wear blinders. They are clear-eyed. Generosity to other people. They have a basic assumption of a non-zero-sum world. Four Thousand Weeks is an entertaining and philosophical but ultimately deeply practical guide to the alternative path of embracing your limits: dropping back down into reality, defying cultural pressures to attempt the impossible, and getting started on what’s gloriously possible instead. It’s about actually getting meaningful things done, here and now, in our work and our lives together – in the clear-eyed understanding that there won’t be time for everything, and that we’ll never eliminate life’s uncertainties.

Jan 10, 2022 • 49min
454: Jim Levine - A Conversation With My Literary Agent (How To Write A Great Proposal)
Read my new book, The Pursuit Of Excellence https://bit.ly/excellencehawk Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday" Jim Levine has been a literary agent for more than 30 years. Some of his agency’s clients include Ray Dalio, Scott Galloway, Jay Shetty, Gillian Flynn (author of Gone Girl), Satya Nadella (CEO of Microsoft), Tom Brady, & Giselle Bundchen among others… He also is my book agent and he brokered the deals for my book deals for both Welcome To Management AND The Pursuit of Excellence with McGraw-Hill. Notes: Early in my podcasting career, I asked all authors I recorded who the best book agent was... And many of them said, Jim Levine. "Being an agent is a continuing liberal arts education, it’s an opportunity to engage with experts and thought leaders in a wide variety of fields and help shape their work to reach the broadest possible audience.” Jim has written and published 7 books and over 100 articles for professional magazines… He's won awards for his work as a writer. He's the founding director of The Fatherhood Project – A 20-year long foundation-supported initiative to increase men’s involvement in childrearing in all segments of society. Jim takes us inside the process from book proposal, selling to a publisher, and ultimately getting the book published. "Being an agent is so much more than just selling the book. The relationship is so much more intimate. You have to care." Building a company and a culture of growth... The best book proposals he's read: The Master Algorithm -- Pedro Domingos Welcome To Management Smartcuts by Shane Snow Jim has spent most of his career putting together ideas, people, and money; identifying, nurturing, and marketing talent; and creating projects that make a difference. Jim graduated Phi Beta Kappa, magna cum laude from Amherst College, winning Woodrow Wilson, Fulbright, and Ford Foundation Fellowships. He holds two advanced degrees in English Literature from UC Berkeley, where he specialized in Shakespeare and modern literary criticism, and a doctorate from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, where he specialized in child development and social policy. Advice: Don’t think about a job, think about skills you have and challenges you could take on… The WHO is really important - Who you work for... Be a perpetual learner Follow your curiosity Have a wide range of interests What Jim looks for when hiring – Pat Lencioni’s humble, hungry, and smart – It’s about helping people solve problems.

Jan 3, 2022 • 46min
453: Dr. Gary Chapman - The 5 Love Languages, Resolving Conflict, & Building Trust
Read my new book, The Pursuit Of Excellence https://bit.ly/thepursuitofexcellence Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday" This episode starts with a short review of 2021 and I share my goals for 2022. Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12 https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the bestselling The 5 Love Languages® series, which has sold more than 20 million worldwide and has been translated into 50 languages. Dr. Chapman travels the world presenting seminars on marriage, family, and relationships, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. Notes: The Five Love Languages: Words of Affirmation - Words of affirmation is about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. When this is someone's primary love language, they enjoy kind words and encouragement.\ Quality Time - For those who identify with quality time as their love language, love and affection are expressed through undivided attention. This means putting down the cell phone, turning off the tablet, making eye contact, and actively listening. Physical Touch - A person with this love language feels loved through physical affection. Acts of Service - For acts of service, a person feels loved and appreciated when someone does nice things for them, such as helping with the dishes, running errands, vacuuming, or putting gas in the car. Receiving Gifts - Gift-giving is symbolic of love and affection for someone with this love language. They treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift-giver put into it. My personal Love Language assessment results: Quality Time: 37% Words of Affirmation: 33% Acts of Service: 20% Physical Touch: 10% Receiving Gifts: 0% We all express and receive love differently. Consequently, understanding those differences can make a serious impact on your relationship. According to Dr. Chapman, this exercise is one of the simplest ways to improve your relationships. Here are some ways that understanding love languages can improve your relationship: Promotes selflessness - When you are committed to learning someone else's love language, you are focused on their needs rather than your own. Creates empathy - As someone learns more about how their partner experiences love, they learn to empathize with them. Maintains intimacy - If couples regularly talk about what keeps their love tanks full, this creates more understanding in their relationship. Aids personal growth - When someone is focused on something or someone outside of themselves, it can lead to personal growth. Shares love in meaningful ways - When couples start speaking one another's love language, the things they do for their partners not only become more intentional but also become more meaningful. It’s not a feeling. The “in love” feeling wears off after about 2 years. It’s an attitude to love someone. “I want to do anything I can to enrich your life.” There is a thought process and intention behind it. Keys to being a better listener: Start with the intention to understand THEIR perspective Do not interrupt the other person Wait until they are completely done speaking How to earn back trust? Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a choice. You have to make the choice to forgive someone. Thank you to Verywellmind.com for help preparing for this conversation