Ask the Pastor with J.D. Greear

Social media is reshaping our lives in profound ways, often without us realizing it. The conversation reveals the myth that communication mediums are neutral; in reality, they mold the message and influence us deeply. With startling stats, it highlights how distractions from devices can erode relationships and intimacy. Practical tips for engaging mindfully emerge, emphasizing limits, kindness, and diverse content. Ultimately, the discussion encourages Christians to thoughtfully navigate the digital landscape while fostering genuine connections.

Pastor J.D. addresses some common misconceptions about male leadership and explains the Bible’s plan for it in relationships, the home, and life. A glimpse inside this episode: There are a number of reasons someone might find the idea of male leadership difficult: Perhaps there is a history of abuse, which changes how male leadership looks and feels. Feel like it is archaic: strong dominated the weak. More practical, perhaps a mother is raising children without the father around. So why, with all of the potential problems, do we say that God’s design in the home is for men to lead? Ephesians 5:23, the Bible calls the husband to be the head of the wife and the wife to submit to the husband like Christ submitted to the church. Headship is not a designation of the husband’s greater value (egalitarians Galatians 3:28 vs. complementarians 1 Timothy 2–both are important, but of his specific role and responsibility). Starts with mutual submission: In fact, greater submission in that sense is mine. I should lose 95% of all arguments in my home. Look not on my own interests To serve rather than be served Crown is one of thorns. I am a tie-breaker. Tim Keller: Moving to NYC example. He felt yes; she no. They had to make a decision; to not make one would be, functionally, to make one. He conceded: “OK, if you don’t want to go, we won’t go.” Kathy: No, you are letting me make the decision. You have to make it. Submission means man has to make the decision in the best interest of the family. The number of times this has actually happened in my marriage, I could count on one hand. People who say, “Well, just work it out.” That doesn’t work practically. Somebody ends up submitting. Like a dance: somebody leads. If two people are dancing face to face, they cannot do exactly the same thing without running into each other and ending the dance. The movements cannot be identical and equivalent; they have to be complementary and harmonious. The creation account in Genesis 1–2 (particularly 2:5–23) provides more detail about the nature of the husband’s headship. In that text, we see God giving Adam a share of his authority by commissioning him to cultivate the Garden of Eden and name the animals (Genesis 2:15, 19–20). This provides a template by which we can understand the leadership that men should demonstrate in the home. Husbands should lead in provision, as Adam was given a job prior to his marriage to Eve (Genesis 2:15). Husbands should lead in spiritual growth, as Adam both had a relationship with God and had heard God’s words before Eve was brought to him (Genesis 2:16, 18). Husbands should lead in romance, since, as the text notes, it is the man who is to leave his family in order to cleave to his wife (Genesis 2:24). It is also the man that writes the first romantic poem for his wife, not vice versa (Genesis 2:23). Husbands should lead in protection, as Adam and Eve are referred to as “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Paul picks up this imagery to remind husbands that they are responsible to love their wives “as their own bodies,” protecting them as they would their very selves (Ephesians 5:28). God did not make us exactly the same. Not good Edzer kenegdo: a different one of the same kind A great deal of resistance arises from core misconceptions about the concept itself. We reject the following misconceptions of submission as false and unbiblical: The misconception that women, as a group, are to submit to men. The virtue of submission, biblically speaking, is one that all believers are called to practice. Christians are called to submit to the leadership of the church, to governing authorities, to other believers, and most importantly, to God. The circumstances may differ, but we all must exhibit the humility required to submit to God’s order. Submission is not a “female” virtue, but a Christian one. The misconception that women are inferior to men. The creation narrative of Genesis 1–2 depicts men and women with equal worth. Both are created in the image of God, blessed, and given a commission to rule the earth (Genesis 1:27–28). The wife’s role of submission no more implies an inferior worth than does Jesus’ role of submission to the Father. The misconception that wives submit to their husbands through unconditional obedience. The command to “submit to your husbands as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22) does not mean, “Submit to him without question, as if he is your God.” Rather, Paul’s command is for wives to submit as a way of serving God. If a conflict arises between the commands of God and the headship of the husband, wives are to submit to the higher authority—God. The misconception that husbands must make all family decisions unilaterally. The complementarian position on gender attests that men and women have creational, fundamental differences. This means that life is incomplete if viewed only through the lens of one gender. Husbands, therefore, should include their wives in family decisions, since they bring unique wisdom to each situation. In healthy marriages, most decisions result from consensus between husband and wife, not unilateral dictate from one or the other.  

Pastor J.D. would obviously have lunch with Nicolas Cage, but who are the others? They just might surprise you. A glimpse inside this episode: Adoniram Judson: A broken heart for the lost and wicked smart. HIs biography To The Golden Shore was one of the most formative in my life. I even named my son, Adon, after him. I hope to follow him back overseas one day. Martin Luther: How could I not mention him? What I love most about him is how real and authentic he was. He was funny and didn’t take himself too serious. Charles Spurgeon: I’d like to have lunch with him once. Such a scholar but also tender. He knew when to give theology and when to weep with his members. A couple of my favorite possessions are his actual sermon notes, his handwritten notes, that were given to me. Bonus: Shelby Steele: African American sociologist. Keen insight into a lot of the racial issues of today. Bonus: Michael Jordan: I was a boy in North Carolina, how could I not love him? And Pastor J.D. explains the root of his adoration for Nic Cage.

Pastor J.D. shares that the Christian Sabbath is much more than a day off to do what we want to do. Rather, the Sabbath is a principle for all of life as we put God first. A glimpse inside this episode: We believe regular corporate gathering on the Lord’s Day is an essential, non-negotiable element in the life of a disciple. Verses such as Hebrews 10:24-25 tell us not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together. We believe that God has instituted into creation a 7-day rhythm or work and rest/worship. We don’t think believers are no longer under Old Testament laws, but the design reflected in those laws advises us to set aside a day every week for rest and worship. We see this practice reflected in the early church, who seem to use Sunday as their primary day of gathering. Thus, we make a commitment to our regular corporate gatherings part of our membership covenant, explaining that church discipline applies to those who do not observe it. What do you mean by “we are no longer under it”–take it or leave it? The OT laws are fulfilled in Jesus, so we no longer are bound to the particulars, but the principle behind is the same. In fact, if you’ll let me, it’s not just with one day a week that we see the Sabbath principle play out—Let me list out a few. 1. One day a week for rest, renewal and relationships Again, one day to be rather than to do. To focus on God, relationships, and enjoy his creation. It doesn’t have to be on a Sunday. When the early church changed it from Sat to Sunday they were showing that it wasn’t a particular day that was essential. For most of you it should be, but it’s at least one day a week where you cease from your labors and enjoy God and the gifts he has given. Public worship should always be a part of it, because your relationship with God is central in in your life. But it’s also a day to be with family, and be outdoors, and to do things you enjoy. This next one might surprise you at first, but hear me out… 2. Tithing (You think, “You always know how to tie it back to this… hear me out). Tithing is an application of the Sabbath principle (Deuteronomy 7–8) Tithing means giving at least the first 1/10 your income back to God. You don’t do it because you have 10% extra in your budget you can’t figure out what to do with. You do it, just like they took the Sabbath day off, as a declaration that God is the provider and ultimately you trust him to make the ends meet. That’s why when people say, “I can’t afford to tithe!” I say, “You can’t afford not to!” God said, “Obey me by giving me 10% you think you can’t afford, and watch how I multiply the remaining 90%!” I can’t explain exactly how he does it… only that he always does! You can’t out-give him. It’s only when I’ve violated this principle that I’ve gotten in real trouble. It’s like with 6 days… do less than you can and he will multiply the rest Here’s another one that may surprise you…  3. Sleep Let me take you to one of my favorite passages (that I have tattooed on my wrist! Psalm 127:1-2 “Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.” What’s the sign in this verse that you are beloved by God? Sleep. Looking out at you right now, I can see several of you are feeling beloved by God right at this very moment! But if you are asleep, whose got the city? Who is building the house? Who is watching the city? The psalmist smile sweetly and says, “God is.” God intended sleep to be a time every day where you remind yourself you’re not God. Personal confession: The more responsibility I get, the more trouble I have sleeping. I always wake up worried. Don’t send me your new miracle pillow or new herbal remedy or essential oil that you want me to rub on my kneecaps that’s going to make it all better. That’s not the problem. I sleep badly sometimes because I am worried about who is watching the city—of my family, the church, the SBC. But here’s what I’ve learned: God wants me to lay down each night (it’s kind of like a daily Sabbath) just to remind myself that I’m not God. So, when I lie down to sleep I say, “God, I am turning myself off, even though there is a ton to do… and lots to worry about… but you are staying on and you designed me to turn off, so I can trust you to handle what I can’t.” At 3:30, you’ve not appointed me to worry about “the city,” appointed me to sleep which must mean you have the city 4-hour work-week example: I was reading an article by a small-business owner who said he had trouble sleeping… It is not my responsibility to guard the city or finish the house or pay the bills—that’s God’s job. It’s my job to be faithful, and after you’ve been faithful you can lie down to sleep and leave it in his hand. 4. Daily Sabbath Daily times to unplug and refocus yourself That means doing a QT: time at the beginning of the day to refocus yourself Building time into the day to recenter I know a pastor who asked his assistant to build a 5-minute space between each one of his meetings for him to pray. Between each counseling appointment, staff meeting, or visit, he would take five minutes to stop, pray, and rest. He would literally pause his day, multiple times per day, simply to rest.[3] And time just to let your mind rest (Churchill) – “The best way to rest is to have your mind totally engrossed in something you don’t typically do.” Or how about this one—NAP. A recent study found that a 30-minute nap three times a week cuts your heart attack risk by 40%. Other studies have shown that people who nap are actually more productive. 5. Yearly Vacations Throughout the Bible, we see Jesus commanding his people to take time off to remind themselves that they aren’t the ones doing the work: “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’” Mark 6:31 Look at the phrasing: So many were coming! It’s not like there was nothing to do. There was still a line! But Jesus knew there was time to stop and prioritize the Father. And reflect on the fact that it is God who does the work. Another one of my favorite examples of this: Acts 1: “Do nothing.” They’d just been given the largest assignment ever given—and instead of getting right to work, they were told to do nothing. (Now, to be clear, I’m not suggesting they were on vacation—but God was reminding them that ultimately the responsibility to complete) (BTW, when I say vacations, I know I lose some of you…“I can’t afford that…” Or, “If I take a vacation, I don’t get paid.” I get it. Don’t think Disney World here, necessarily—I mean time for you just to unplug and focus on relationships. A staycation. Go to local parks and play games.) These are all ways you put Sabbath into practice. You stop to proclaim Christ as your rest.

Pastor J.D. explains that while hell is a difficult reality, it is something that the Bible teaches, and we can’t fully understand God and his world unless we grapple with it. A glimpse inside this episode: When we ask these questions, we have to evaluate if it’s because we want to get away from the seriousness and heaviness of what the Bible says about Hell. I do believe that the vast majority of images used in the Bible about Hell are literal. There obviously is a metaphorical co-import into them. For example, darkness represents the complete absence of God and fire represents an insatiable desire, etc. So, it’s possible that there are both metaphorical and literal images that are part of what the Bible says about Hell. However, one of the best explanations I’ve ever heard of this is if a particular image is a metaphor in the Bible, it’s almost always because the full reality behind it can’t really be described. In those situations, the reality is always much more intense than the actual physical image that is used. So, it’s not that you’d say, “Oh, it’s a metaphor, so it’s really not that bad.” Instead, it is something in which the reality is so intense that the best way to describe it is by using these awful and horrendous images. In the end, we must conclude, like the writer of Hebrews concludes, that, “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” (Hebrews 10:31) C.S. Lewis put it this way: “In the long run the answer to all those who object to the doctrine of hell is itself a question: ‘What are you asking God to do?’ . . . To leave them alone? Alas, I am afraid that is what He does. . . . In the end, there are only two kinds of people– those who say to God “thy will be done” and those to whom God says in the end ‘thy will be done.’” (The Problem of Pain, “Hell,” 116 and The Great Divorce, 69.) God’s word tells us about hell for a reason. God tells us about hell to demonstrate to us the magnitude of His holiness. Hell is what hell is because the holiness of God is what it is. Hell is not one degree hotter than our sin demands that it be. Hell should make our mouths stand agape at the righteous and just holiness of God. It should make us tremble before His majesty and grandeur. In fact, if you count up the verses, Jesus spoke more about hell than he did about heaven. One of the most famous skeptics in history, Bertrand Russell, said in his book, What I’m not a Christian, that Jesus’ teaching on hell was “the one profound defect in Christ’s character.” If we want to avoid the idea of hell, we can’t ignore the problem by just focusing on “meek and mild Jesus.” In one sense, God doesn’t send anyone to hell; we send ourselves. In another sense, God does send people to hell; and all his ways are true and righteous altogether.

Pastor J.D. continues the discussion from Episode 19 and specifically talks about how Christians should respond to a police shooting. A glimpse inside this episode: When we see the broad strokes of racism in our past, we cannot avoid seeing how racism has deeply impacted social realities like families, governments, and schools. Social realities are slow to change, and while laws are good, they cannot immediately overcome generations of unjust practices.We see this reality play out when news hits of a white police officer shooting and killing a person of color. On one side, African Americans are keenly aware of racial injustice in our history, so they sense enough of a pattern to assume injustice in this particular case. This one incident calls to mind the long period of public lynchings and other instances of racial violence. This is a valid viewpoint. On the other side, white commentators often respond by counseling patience. The historical realities may create a disturbing pattern, but it would be unjust to assume the guilt of any individual—white or black—without letting our justice system pursue the facts. I asked Dr. George Yancey about these situations: “What do you do in a moment like this? It seems we’re being asked to choose between two responses, both of which are bringing in strong (and seemingly contrary) assumptions. How do we speak in a way that communicates sympathy without subverting the justice system? I don’t want to commit one injustice (depriving the police officer the presumption of innocence and due processes of law) in order to rectify another.” Dr. Yancey responded, “You can always—and should always—come out quickly with sympathy for the victims. After all, it is a tragedy when anyone is shot and killed. But you can go further, lamenting the fact that we still live in a racialized society whose past makes questions like this even pertinent. It should be unthinkable that ethnicity plays a role in police shootings. But it’s not. And that’s a tragedy.” Dr. Yancey is right. If, God forbid, my white son was shot by the police, I would never ask if his death had anything to do with his skin color. My African American friends should have that same privilege. It’s past time we quit thinking about this as a conservative or liberal issue. The dividing line on this issue is not between Conservatives and Liberals. The dividing line runs between those who care about the problem and those who don’t.  

Pastor J.D. discusses the origins of privilege, its influence in society, and the responsibility Christians have in the issue. A glimpse inside this episode: This term “privilege” was first developed by a white woman in the 1980’s to talk not about race but male privilege in academics. (Learned from Dr. George Yancey) Definition: “An invisible package of unearned assets that whites can count on cashing in each day.” Privilege is multi-dimensional. There is never one exclusive privileged class and one underprivileged class. Rather, there are various ways in which a person may be privileged or not. For example, a white woman growing up in poverty, with an abusive father, may experience far fewer benefits of “privilege” than a black man growing up in an affluent, healthy family. Dr. Yancey says there is tall privilege and good-looking privilege. He says that Asians are often given a “they must be smart at math privilege.” The phrase “white privilege” indicates that—all other factors being equal—there is more social advantage in being white in the United States than in being non-white. Or, in other words, because “whiteness” is the social norm, those who are in that group have more benefits than those outside that group. Examples: As a white guy, if a traffic cop pulls me over, I never have to wonder if it was because of my race (Almost all POC have stories about this) As a white guy, the same is true when I see a clerk looking at me in the store. As a white guy, I don’t have to worry about my name causing me to be overlooked on a job or housing application. (Chris Green tells a story about assumptions being made by a lender about his income because he was black.) We want to see all people in our society have access to the same rights and privileges. When Dr. George Yancey, an African-American sociologist from North Texas University, came to speak to our church recently, he made a really interesting comment about privilege: He said “privileges” are like “rights.” It’s not that we want to take rights from one group and give them to others, but we want to see the rights that one group enjoys extended to all. He said often, in discussing privilege (white privilege or male privilege), there’s an unspoken assumption: “Things are not equal between these two groups, and we need to make them equal by pulling the top group down.” But if we think about privilege more like rights, it changes the conversation. When I think of the privileges that I have as a white person, or as a man, what I want is to see those privileges extended to as many people as possible. I don’t want people to lose all of their rights. I want more people to have those rights! These are just a handful of examples that show us that at least at some level, privilege exists. Another way to say it (that I’ve found helpful) is that the judicial and empowerment structures in our society, while better than in generations past, are still tilted. There is a sort of center-of-gravity toward the majority culture. What to do about it? There is responsibility to use that privilege to help others Politicians are divided: some will say that because our history of exploitation and discrimination has undoubtedly contributed to creating some of these realities, that demands certain benefits and privileges be extended to the black community Others will say that that won’t help: now that the doors of opportunity have been opened, only black people can go through them. DESK: Diploma, employment, spouse, kids. These are things everyone can do and are proven to fight poverty.

Pastor J.D. shares why Christianity that is not built on “it is written” is insufficient for both personal faith and sparking a worldwide resurgence of the Christian movement. A glimpse inside this episode: Todd: Pastor J.D., some are saying today (Andy Stanley, for example) that because our culture no longer accepts the authority of the Bible, we should refrain from saying, “the Bible says” in our preaching. What do you think about this? Response: True, as a starting point. But if it doesn’t quickly translate into “thus says the Lord,” it’s not a sufficient basis for faith A Christianity that is not built on “it is written” is insufficient for personal faith, much less sparking a worldwide resurgence of the Christian movement. There is an advantage to thinking about this the way our overseas missionaries think and share with different cultures where the Bible doesn’t have authority. For instance, you might say, ‘John says,” or “Paul says…” Apostles: “It is written.” The early church had written text, so the argument that they didn’t have Scripture isn’t accurate. 2 Peter 3:16 Paul, if you are spiritual, acknowledge these commands Matthew 7:24–27 shows us what love looks like; gives us confidence in the face of Satan Paul/Ephesians: built on the foundation of Apostles and their writings! Jesus with Satan! (Luke 4) Again: A Christianity that is not built on “it is written” is insufficient for personal faith, much less sparking a worldwide resurgence of the Christian movement. 2 Timothy 3:16 Billy Graham’s most used phrase, “The Bible says…”  

Discover the transformative power of sending cultures in churches. Learn why sending people on short-term mission trips can ignite a passion for outreach. This discussion emphasizes that true church growth stems from multiplication, not just gathering. Through engaging stories, the hosts illustrate how mission experiences reshape perspectives and cultivate a commitment to global engagement. It all begins with fostering a yearning for mission, enabling congregants to embrace their roles in spreading the gospel.

Pastor J.D. gives parents some helpful guidelines for navigating conversations about sexual identity with their kids. A glimpse inside this episode: This is an excellent question, and one that more and more pastors, specifically, need to be equipped to answer. I am still learning how to navigate questions like this, and I’ve been incredibly thankful for Brad Hambrick, the counseling pastor at the Summit, for teaching me how to think through this not only theologically, but also pastorally. From the beginning of my ministry, I decided that if I could preach like anyone, I wanted to preach like a counselor. You can check out his website for a lot more helpful resources: bradhambrick.com Now, when talking with kids about “sexual identity,” here are a handful of ideas, most of which I’ve borrowed from Brad: 1. “The talk” is different today than it was for us growing up. By that, I mean a couple things. First, kids aren’t just going to be curious about sex (which is pretty universal). But as our society’s views about gender identity evolve, our kids will be exposed to different ideas than perhaps we’ve ever heard. Second, statistics tells us they will be exposed to sexual ideas way earlier than most of us were. For most of us, we need to have these discussions earlier than we’d expect. 2. When our kids bring up a potentially awkward subject, we shouldn’t over-react. This is true whether your kid is asking about gender identity for himself, for someone else, or just out of curiosity. Your initial response to your kids signals whether you are someone they can or should approach with these questions. 3. We need to talk about sex and sexuality proactively, not just reactively. If the only times we talk with our kids about sex is when they approach us, it will distort the biblical message about sexual ethics. Questions about sexuality and gender identity will start on the wrong foot if we let culture dictate the sorts of things our kids are asking us. 4. Be sure to ask as much as you teach. When your kid asks you about sex—especially when they’re younger, say elementary school—the most important part of that conversation will be what you learn from them (not vice versa). 5. We want our kids to be biblically informed and personally compassionate. We don’t have to agree with someone or understand their experience to love them. We believe that everyone is made in the image of God and deserves our honor and respect.If they’re hurting, we try to represent God’s compassion. If they’re sinning, we let them know of God’s forgiveness through the gospel. If we’re not sure, we listen and ask questions.