Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy

Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches

***Top 1.5% Global Podcast***

Dear Betrayed,

Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had?

Dear Betrayer,

Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean?

Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over?

Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand…

Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are...

As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift.

Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory!

So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like;

Is there hope for our marriage?
Can I fix all the damage I’ve done?
Can I ever trust again?
Is true intimacy even possible?

We will also do deep dives into the topics of:
* Isolation
* Guilt and Shame
* Anger
* Rejection
* Addiction
* Trauma
* Body Image
* Triggers
* Communication
* And more…

Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.

You can connect with us at:
support@beyondbrokenvows.com
https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/
https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/

We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!

Episodes

Mentioned books

Jul 31, 2023 • 45min

09 | I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps

Do you get angry while driving in traffic? Have you ever had or seen road rage? Are you the person that yells at everyone making stupid and even dangerous driving mistakes from inside your car with the windows up? I can’t say I’ve never had a burst of anger when driving, but in recent years I have made it a practice to try and give other drivers the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they have an emergency, maybe their kids are distracting them... And it also helps to remind myself that I have probably done the same stupid thing before myself and that I’m not the only one with important places to go. But, this isn’t the kind of anger we’re going to talk about today. Anger can be a catalyst to create needed changes or to promote justice, but it can also become disastrous if not contained within some specific boundaries. Today we are going to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly aspects of anger and how to move through it so we are not trapped in this potentially destructive emotion. We all struggle with anger at times, but we don't have to let it rule the day. So, grab your favorite beverage and stick around as we have an honest conversation about Emily's anger caused by Johnny's betrayal and how she learned to overcome it with 3 simple (but not easy) steps. We pray this blesses you, Johnny and Emily 💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.) RELATED EPISODES: Episode 01. Why Are We Talking About Betrayal? A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values NEXT STEPS: ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show! ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com. D

Jul 3, 2023 • 29min

08 | 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2)

When you think of the word honesty, do you view it in black and white or on a sliding scale? Those who see it in black and white might argue that a person either tells the truth or they don’t. Those who prefer a sliding scale approach may categorize white lies at a 1-2, lies of omission at a 4-5, but a deceptive or premeditated lie at 9-10. Honesty, in this person’s mind, is relative. In our show today, we’re going to talk about rigorous honesty. We were first introduced to this concept through Johnny’s 12-step program. We will unpack what this kind of honesty looks like, how to attain it and how it impacted our recovery process. We will also take a look at what God says about honesty from the scriptures. So get comfy and settle in for part 2 of our lively discussion on 5 ways we lie and the secret to complete honesty. And just a reminder that we’d love to answer any questions you have about our journey or yours! We pray this blesses you, Johnny and Emily 💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe RESOURCES: (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases.) Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) RELATED EPISODES: Episode 01. Why Are We Talking About Betrayal? A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1) NEXT STEPS: ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show! ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review. ✔️If you have a question for Johnny or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com

Jun 26, 2023 • 33min

07 | 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1)

Did you know that there is more than one way to lie? A lack of honesty can leave others in your life on uncertain ground. How do we overcome this deceptive practice and what is the key to complete honesty? Spend the next half hour with us as we talk about 5 different ways we lie to each other, how lying affects our relationships and what we can do to change it forever. We will also be sharing some details from our sometimes painful journey to find freedom from the lies that plagued our marriage. We hope this blesses you! Johnny and Emily 💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe RESOURCES: (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases.) Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) RELATED EPISODES: Episode 01. Why Are We Talking About Betrayal? A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values NEXT STEPS: ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show! ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

Jun 19, 2023 • 47min

06 | Setting Boundaries After Sexual Betrayal in Marriage

Have you ever stopped to think about the significance of boundaries? What kind of feelings or emotions do you think of when you hear that term? Does it bring to mind negative connotations or a sense of being confined and restricted? Perhaps it even feels punitive or unfair. It's understandable to have these reactions, but let's take a moment to consider a different perspective. What if boundaries could actually be beneficial for all parties involved? In today's episode, we're going to unpack the word "boundaries". We'll explore why boundaries are not only necessary but essential in our lives. We'll examine what insights and guidance we can find from a spiritual standpoint, exploring what God has to say about boundaries. But our exploration won't stop there. We'll also share a personal story, drawing from our own experiences in marriage. When faced with the challenges of infidelity and addiction, we had to confront the need for boundaries head-on. We'll walk you through our journey of how we implemented and navigated these often misunderstood boundaries in our relationship. So, make sure to stick around and listen in. By the end of this episode, you'll gain a deeper understanding of boundaries and their potential to bring about positive transformation in your own life and relationships. We pray this blesses you! Johnny and Emily 💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) RELATED EPISODES: Episode 01. Why Are We Talking About Betrayal? A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values NEXT STEPS: ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show! ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

Jun 12, 2023 • 29min

05 | The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal

The decision to stay married after sexual betrayal is a very difficult one to navigate. We understand this because the effects of infidelity shook each of us to our core. If you've been listening to our show you know we are still married, but we didn’t go through this on our own. We had an incredible amount of support and guidance along the way. In this episode we're going to open up about the personal effects that infidelity had on each of us while shedding light on the reasons behind our mutual decision to preserve our marriage, despite the pain. We also have a list of valuable resources to share with you—ones that truly made a difference as we navigated our new reality. But the most important thing we want to leave you with is the hope of redemption and the grace, mercy, and love of our amazing God! So grab your favorite beverage, get comfortable and get ready for a story of resilience and faith. We pray this episode blesses you, Johnny and Emily 💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe RESOURCES: (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.) Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) Centers for Relational Care (CRC) - 5 day marriage intensive The Aftermath of Betrayal by Michelle Dr. Mays LPC, CSAT-S Gary Smalley - Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships Proverbs 15:22 Numbers 6:24-26 (The Priestly Blessing) RELATED EPISODES: Episode 01. Why Are We Talking About Betrayal? A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values NEXT STEPS: ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show! ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com. D

Jun 5, 2023 • 20min

04 | Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery

Hi Friend, In today's episode we will be telling a quick version of our love story from how we met and got married up to the day of Johnny's confession of adultery that we call Discovery Day. If you haven't heard our story as told by each of us from our own perspectives, you can listen to Emily's story in Episode 2 and Johnny's story in Episode 3. We are telling our story together today to help you understand that we are ordinary people who love Jesus, but how the Enemy was able to wreak havoc in our lives. We also share the hope of redemption and the grace, mercy and love of our amazing God! We pray this episode blesses you! Johnny and Emily 💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe RESOURCES: (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases.) Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) RELATED EPISODES: Episode 01. Why Are We Talking About Betrayal? A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values NEXT STEPS: ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show! ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com. .

May 29, 2023 • 45min

03 | His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values

Hi Friend, On today's episode, Johnny tells his story of how a young boy with hopes and dreams for a wonderful future ends up confessing to his wife of 31 years that he is a sex addict and an adulterer. His painful story is tragic, but also beautiful because he knows the One who makes a way when there is no way. Jesus can make something beautiful out of the ashes of our lives if we let him. We pray this episode blesses you! Johnny and Emily 💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe RESOURCES: (This post contains affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases.) Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) RELATED EPISODES: Episode 01. Why Are We Talking About Betrayal? A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me NEXT STEPS: ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show! ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

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