“Holding Space” is a term that is becoming more popular, but can be difficult to define and conceptualize in language. In this episode, we are fortunate to hear from Heather Plett, co-founder of the International Centre for Holding Space. Heather shares her expertise as she expounds on the idea of lessening our reactive responses and supporting what others need in the moment without our personal input and projections. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust”  Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship. Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse:  Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. About Heather Plett:Heather is the author of the book The Art of Holding Space: A Practice of Love, Liberation, and Leadership and the co-founder of the international Centre for Holding Space. She is an international speaker, facilitator, writer, and life-long learner whose work has been translated into a dozen languages and quoted in such notable publications as Harvard Business Review. She has trained people from six continents, both in person and online. Before launching her work in holding space, Heather worked in leadership and communications in government and non-profit. She lives in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada with her three daughters.  Book: The Art of Holding Space: A Practice of Love, Liberation, and Leadership In this profound book, facilitator and speaker Heather Plett empowers you with constructive, actionable practices for transforming conflict, building boundaries, and increasing sovereignty in your own life – and the lives of those closest to you. The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Exploring the difference between passive and proactive recovery after betrayal trauma, focusing on the impact on the betrayed partner. Emphasizing the importance of actively participating in trust rebuilding and transitioning from victim-like behavior to proactive efforts. Discussing the origins of passive coping mechanisms, taking initiative in relationship recovery, and navigating healing through incremental changes and communication.

Explore the nuances of forgiveness and trust in relationships post-betrayal. Learn about the delicate balance between forgiveness and trust, the power of community in pornography recovery, and the intricacies of rebuilding trust. Join hosts Geoff & Jody as they break down each action and its impact on every relationship.

I was recently asked a question by a client that I wanted to discuss with all of you. She has always considered anger as an emotion that was unhealthy, ungodly, and should be ignored, but as she is dealing with her own betrayal trauma she realized it’s not so easy to bury this kind of anger. Join us as we discuss the importance of anger as an emotion, what it is trying to tell us, and if not addressed how it can spill out into other unhealthy ways in our recovery and lives. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust”  Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship. Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse:  Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

In this episode I am joined by my friend and colleague, Sathiya Sam. Sathiya shares his own journey of addiction and recovery and what he has learned through his own journey and through his time helping other men fully recover from pornography addiction. We discuss the importance of open and honest conversations to lay a foundation of trust and understanding in a relationship, and how that can help eliminate shame and increase true recovery and healing. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust”  Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship. Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse:  Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Sathiya Sam:Sathiya Sam is a coach and speaker that helps men live with confidence and integrity. A recovered addict himself, Sathiya is the creator of DeepClean™ – a research-based and Bible-backed system for overcoming porn addiction and author of The Last Relapse. This work has helped everyone from college students to medical doctors regain control of their lives and walk in greater levels of freedom. Based out of Toronto, Canada, Sathiya is happily married and a die-hard basketball fan.  Website - www.sathiyasam.com  Free Online Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/deepcleaninnercircle The Last Relapse (Book) - www.sathiyasam.com/books Unleash The Man Within Podcast - www.sathiyasam.com/podcast  Facebook - www.facebook.com/sathiyamesam  Instagram - www.instagram.com/sathiyamesam  The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Dr. Jacob Hess wrote an article in Public Square magazine that challenged the belief that we should abandon marriage if we're not feeling romantic or loving feelings for our spouse. He said that many of these marriages are not only worth saving, but are completely able to be saved. We invited him to join us on the podcast to talk about his perspective on how most marriages can be healed, even when they have serious challenges. In this episode, we discuss:  The origins of this article and why this topic matters so much to him How this applies to couples who have experienced serious attachment injuries What couples can do to practice love when they're on the brink of divorce The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust”  Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship. Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse:  Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. More on Jacob's Background:Jacob teaches Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction and has helped create mindfulness-based classes (Mindweather 101, Lift, Fortify) and the Council for Sustainable Healing. In addition to 14 peer-reviewed articles, Jacob has authored four books: You’re Not  as Crazy as I Thought, But You’re Still Wrong, Once Upon a Time…He Wasn’t Feeling It Anymore and A Third Space: Proposing Another Way Forward in the LGBT/Religious Conservative Impasse & The Power of Stillness:  Mindful Living for Latter-ay Saints. You can learn more about Jacob’s work at unthinkable.cc or contact him at jzhess@gmail.com.   The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Recently I received a question from a woman whose husband is working to rebuild trust and recover from a pornography addiction. She shared that while he is making steps to change this part of his life, he still uses pornography every couple weeks. Join me in this episode as I share my answer with all of you and dive into a few key components that could be influencing his need to still use pornography, such as: unresolved trauma, shame, and the need for more thorough lifestyle changes.  The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust”  Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship. Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse:  Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Even after a thoughtful and sincere apology, with no strings attached, we often find ourselves stuck in a place of being unable to accept an apology and move forward. In this episode, we follow up to last week’s discussion of sincere apologies and look at it from the receiving end. Join us as we discuss the personal and past hurdles that often affect us being unable to accept apologies, as well as the importance of communicating why we can’t accept it in order to move forward. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust”  Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship. Join our new Connection Plus Community Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse:  Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Exploring the complexities of offering genuine apologies in relationships, avoiding excuses, and the significance of timing and sincerity. The hosts emphasize the importance of authenticity, empathy, and accountability in crafting a genuine apology.

Betrayed partners often have difficulty knowing where they're at in the healing process. After the chaos of discovery and early recovery, the rest can seem like a blur. My guest is Tammy Gustafson, therapist, coach, and writer, who helps break down four distinct phases of healing from betrayal trauma. In this episode, we cover:  The 4 phases of healing after betrayal Why they are important How knowing where you are impacts the healing process How to balance the individual journey with the patterns of healing What things a betrayed wife should focus on in each phase What happens when the husband and wife are in different phases The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust”  Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship. Join our new Connection Plus Community Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse:  Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. About Tammy Gustafson:She earned a Master’s Degree in Counseling from Denver Seminary and her passion is helping women recover from trauma, PTSD, as well as helping wives heal from betrayal. Her focus is to help them get unstuck, discovering ways to live with purpose, joy, and confidence so they are free to move forward and leave their past behind. Tammy is the founder and director of LiveFree Counseling in Colorado, a counseling center specializing in trauma recovery. Tammy has over a decade of experience. She is an EMDR Certified Therapist and a Consult in Training (CIT) through the EMDR International Association. She completed Bessel van der Kolk’s Certificate Program in Traumatic Stress Studies and is a certified NeurOptimal Neurofeedback Trainer. Tammy has shared with hundreds of people on the topics of healing from betrayal, understanding and managing the effects of trauma, setting healthy boundaries, and other mental health issues. She connects easily with audiences through her authenticity, humor, and compassion. Website: www.betrayalhealing.comQuiz: www.betrayalhealing.com/quizInstagram: www.instagram.com/tammylgustafson  The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.