The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

When you're first dating someone, it can be easy ONLY to see what you love about them. If you grew up with abuse or neglect, you may have a blind spot where obvious signs of trouble are waving in your face, and the cost to your happiness can be devastating. In this "best of" compilation I include videos about some of the WORST partners out there -- and why we choose them, and why it's SO hard to leave. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com

The need for love and security is SO strong that some people will do *anything* to feel like they’re in a relationship. If you attach to people you know are unavailable, and then structure your life around that person -- your hopes and plans -- hoping to preserve the feeling that they really are THE ONE, it's important you watch this video. I respond to a letter from a woman who hopes that by loving someone unconditionally, she can win their love in return. Signs You are in a Codependent Relationship. FREE Download: https://bit.ly/3CYQaYa Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com

Explore the connection between childhood trauma and destructive relationships, as the speaker shares their personal experience of rushing into relationships and ignoring warning signs. They share stories of getting involved with problematic men, including an abusive relationship and an entanglement with a friend in an open marriage. The host responds to a listener struggling with a compulsive response to narcissistic individuals, exploring dissociation and love addiction. They emphasize the importance of recovery, finding a sponsor, and following instructions for healing and recovery from trauma and addiction.

If you seek help for the symptoms of Complex CPTSD, you will generally be steered toward talk therapy, and often, medication. But these two standard modes of treatment may not be will targeted for trauma symptoms. In my case, they made me worse, not better. In this video I share an excerpt from one of my most popular videos, "Why I Quit Therapy," to explain what it was like for me, the reasons we NOW know therapy doesn't work for many traumatized people, and what DOES work. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com  

 If your parents harmed you when you were small, you may have developed a coping mechanism that allowed you to accept mistreatment; you learned to just "make it OK" in your mind. But when this gets carried into adulthood, it becomes a maladaptation I call Crapfit. In this "best of" compilation, I share lessons and letters from people with CPTSD who are fitting themselves to horrible partners, jobs and friendships. Hear my advice for setting new and higher standards yourself, and stopping the CRAPFIT. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com  

Getting distance from your family of origin can be a powerful way to accelerate your healing from past trauma. You may be clear you want it to be permanent. But if you're feeling guilty and unsure if you should do it, there's a way to take space for as long as you need -- without drama, without debate, and without committing to a permanent boundary. You get to decide, one day, or one year at a time. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who suspects she needs to end contact with her mother, but the guilt she feels is blocking her clarity. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES : https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com

People neglected and abused in childhood are prone to fantasize about the perfect person and perfect love. But this habit can separate you from the chance to have a real relationship with someone who loves you. The unmet needs of your childhood can't be met by a partner, and your hunger for validation and unconditional love can be a turnoff in an early dating relationship. In this video I respond to a man who has been single for more than a decade since his divorce, and is close to giving upon his lifelong hope of finding true intimacy. Heal Trauma in Just One Year? Free Download: https://bit.ly/3JrPdvx Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com

It's as if there is a veil of unconsciousness that prevents us from remembering or telling the truth about sexual abuse -- or acting to defend abused children when we know abuse is happening. In this video, I talk about the first time I ever lied about being abused. For many people, covering for abusers (so we don't get abandoned, attacked, fired or cancelled) becomes so habitual we are desensitized to it. We stay silent, and say only what you're supposed to say. This is one reason why the extent of sexual abuse in industries and institutions such as the Catholic Church is STILL emerging -- and why child sex trafficking has proliferated in recent years. Our culture struggles to face this, because it's painful and sometimes dangerous to speak up. It's as if we want to stay asleep: Is this why there is controversy about the film "Sound of Freedom, which seeks to reawaken us about horrors -- the scope and explosive growth -- of child trafficking? (Trafficking, btw, is a euphemism for enslavement for the purpose of pimping out children for sex with adults). What can explain the number of people attacking this film, and attempting to block you from seeing it? Why do people use this issue to vilify political enemies? We MUST make it our common purpose to fight sexual abuse and trafficking in all its forms. It's never easy to face terrible truths, but it begins with healing our own shame and trauma.

If your parents made it a problem that you needed their love and attention, you may have have internalized the belief that there's something wrong and dirty and shameful about you and your feelings. In families where the expectation of loyalty and honesty only created horrible arguments, you may have trained yourself not to need loyalty and honesty -- not to expect much -- and to never admit that you long for someone to love you and commit to you. What tends to happen with these damaged expectations is that you DON'T receive love and commitment in your adult relationships. This is the tragedy of what our culture calls "The Cool Girl." In this "best of" compilation I share a series of excerpts from videos where I teach the path to recovery for women and men who are overcoming childhood trauma, and learning to expect and recognize the full and committed love and partnership. How To Prepare For a Great Relationship, Free DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com

When you didn’t get cared for properly when you were little, it’s hard to READ other people – to detect the difference between a friend and someone merely being friendly. So many of us NEED a friend so badly, there’s pressure on the relationship from the beginning to believe it will work. And when it doesn’t, it can feel devastating. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman whose new friend seems more interested in using her as a stepping stone to more friends; now our letter writer feels tricked and left out. Hear my advice for detecting when friends are using you, and what to do when things start getting weird. How to Be a Better Friend: FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/3WS0475 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com